Forget diet, I need to be healthy!

lynleeg88

I've been heavy since I was young. Starting the end of elementary school. I was bullied heavily, which led to emotional eating. Which led to more bullying. I hated my youth. Even my parents were not supportive. I tried dieting off and on to no avail.

At the end of highschool I weighed about 200 pounds, at 5'7". I went to college and while there was able for the first time to control EVERYTHING I ate. Plus, I did not work my first year and had more time.

My college had an amazing gym, I worked out. Got down to about 170s and stayed there for a while, going up and down below 170 over and over, but never above the 180s.

I still looked heavy, not a healthy 170 because of my inconstant dedication to fitness. So finally started working out again using the gym and weights and got to a very nice 145. Still pudgy, but thinner, firmer. I was happy! then, I don't know what triggered it, I faulted and failed, again. Got up to the 170s again.

This went off and on, skinny -fat - skinny -fat more times then I can count.

I exited college and met my now-husband, was using phentermine, and got to...wait for it...130! I was a size 4 and confident, my mood swings minimum for the first time. Depression non-existent. I loved exercising and did it every day. Ate right. Was still getting in shape. Because for some reason even 130 looked a little big on my 5'7" frame. Maybe from so many years of being heavy? I was focused on toning though at this point, and losing only the fat I needed, net really worried about scale just inches.

Then a personal tragedy and the worst depression ever, and I lost it. Gained alot. Tried HCG, gained more after.

Now, here I am, ashamed and distraught, at 208 pounds. I just want to be healthy, and have a baby, but at my size think it would be unwise.

I just want to be healthy, happy, in shape.

So here I am again, a failure looking to try to succeed and make it permanent this time.

I would love the support and help from those struggling like me, and those who have succeeded.

Thank you all for your time.

doclu

Welcome! You can do this...stay strong!

FitnFeistyLyness

i lost my dad 3 years ago and went back from 165 to 220, but im back to 164 now.. 135 is my goal.. so i understand.. i have a great group if you would like to join.. great group , active, and supportive

your not a failure. no negative talk.. it doesn't do anything positive for you.besides. failures dont get up again .. they stay down you got back up.... be patient with yourself. doesn't matter how many times we fall. its how many times we get back up that matters

.i dont look at it as a diet .. its a live it because being healthy is a everyday thing.. feel free to add me or join my group.. i have been where you are..all are welcome!

lynleeg88

Welcome! You can do this...stay strong!

Thank you!

lynleeg88

i lost my dad 3 years ago and went back from 165 to 220, but im back to 164 now.. 135 is my goal.. so i understand.. i have a great group if you would like to join.. great group , active, and supportive

your not a failure. no negative talk.. it doesn't do anything positive for you.besides. failures dont get up again .. they stay down you got back up.... be patient with yourself. doesn't matter how many times we fall. its how many times we get back up that matters

.i dont look at it as a diet .. its a live it because being healthy is a everyday thing.. feel free to add me or join my group.. i have been where you are..all are welcome!

I'm sorry to hear that about your father. And I would like to find a group, the ones that I've been told about are Facebook groups though, and I'd like to keep my endeavors more private.

I am trying to get that mindset too, not a diet, just a lifestyle. that my lifestyle just needs to be healthier. I want to lose weight, and set the foundations for healthy eating while pregnant too. (That is my goal).

FitnFeistyLyness

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/18785-motivation-support-and-accountability

not facebook just here