Where Did My Friend Go?

zillah73

I rededicated myself to meal planning, healthy eating and working out on December 30 and tomorrow will make three weeks. I feel great, have had zero temptations (despite it being King Cake season here in New Orleans), feel strong and dedicated and proud of myself. Only problem – a good friend of mine has sort of vanished into the woodwork. Before the New Year we used to go to brunch weekends, go shopping together, go to movies, etc. I get that brunch is sort of off the table, but why am I hearing about how she is going here, there and everywhere with other people but I haven't seen her since Christmas Day?

She and I used to support each other on our weight loss and fitness journeys – exercising together, swapping recipes and meal ideas, etc. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Do you think she just doesn't want to be around me to tempt me with poor food choices? Or could it be something more... could I be a reminder of what she's given up on, at least for now?

healthygreek

Yes, you are a reminder-but-if you value her friendship, ask her!!!
If you can't bring yourself to ask why, call her up and arrange to see her.
By the way, I will never give up brunch and yet I've reached my weight goal even eating brunch once a week.
I fit it in my goal and workout! It's been worth it!
Losing weight to me means a calorie deficit-not deprivation of my most favorite things.

Zekela

Could be a whole lot of different reasons... Why don't you just call her up and ask her?

zillah73

You are both right, I should just talk to her about it.

zillah73

Yes, you are a reminder-but-if you value her friendship, ask her!!!
If you can't bring yourself to ask why, call her up and arrange to see her.
By the way, I will never give up brunch and yet I've reached my weight goal even eating brunch once a week.
I fit it in my goal and workout! It's been worth it!
Losing weight to me means a calorie deficit-not deprivation of my most favorite things.

Oh, I won't totally give up brunch – that is just crazy talk :laugh: . I just wanted to get through the first weeks and make sure I felt really established and secure in my routine before I enjoyed an indulgence meal once in a while.

BrownEyeAngel

I agree with you.

Shuuma

I agree with the others. If she hasn't called you, have you called her? Maybe she's waiting for you to call! I am one of those type of people that, if I fall off the wagon (so to speak) I'm more likely to withdraw from initiating contact out of embarrassment. Maybe she's the same way and hearing from you will motivate her to get back into the swing of things!

Enjoy your brunch and reconnecting!

cafeaulait7

It might depend on how you turned down the brunches so far. She might not know what you are looking for as far as hanging out with her. For instance, have you invited her shopping? I don't know the details, of course, but if you turn down suggestions from a friend and don't offer some of your own, they may think you are pulling away. That is how folks pull away subtly, so that would make sense

F00LofaT00K

Ask HER, not us! Communication and honesty are important in ALL relationships, not just romantic relationships. If you're wondering what's up, give her a call. Send her a "thinking of you" card and let her know you miss your time together. Be the one to make the plans and invite her someplace.

ETA:: This has never really happened to me, I'm usually the friend who gets tired of seeing people and needs the time away. Good luck though and congrats on sticking with your goals thus far.

AglaeaC

The funny thing is even if you come up with 100 different explanations, hers will still be a new one you hadn't thought of. Take initiative, she might need that from you right now, and if not then you'll know. You could start from asking how she's doing.

Mr_Knight

I rededicated myself ...She and I used to support each other...

Having to "rededicate" yourself sounds like you kind of bailed on your previous fitness pan.

Which would sort of answer your question, no?