How to deal with frustration from "letting yourself go"

rachellaurain

I am so mad at myself for gaining 15 pounds in the past 5 months. I was studying abroad in Mexico, which by the way is now the fattest country in the world... And I stopped caring about myself there. I drank like there was no tomorrow, and indulged in all the fried food on almost a daily basis. Not to mention all the bread. I got back to the US, and really looked in the mirror. I barely recognize my body after gaining so quickly. I have more stretch marks starting, and most of the fat went immediately to my stomach. When I'm not sucking it in, I look about 4 months pregnant.
I'm ashamed of myself for letting go, and I hate what I see in the mirror. I can't even fit into half of my clothes anymore. When I'm at the beach with my boyfriend, I get mad when I see super skinny and muscular girls in bikinis passing by us. I want him to look at me and see that. Not because he'll love me more, he's amazing and always adores me. But I just want to feel carefree, to be out of this prison once and for all.
Can anyone else relate, and what do you do to get these horrible thoughts going from negative to positive? I need help changing my ways and thinking. When I get frustrated, sometimes I say, "well screw it," and eat junk food out of anger at myself. How can I learn to stop putting myself down like this?
I would love to hear from everyone, your story, and how you deal with this issue.

seashell709

I'm currently in the same boat. About 3 years ago I got a divorce and was around 180. I lost around 10-15 lbs because I could eat healthier and was taking care of myself. I''m currently in the best relationship of my life. I have found my soul mate. I have let myself eat whatever I wanted and drank lots of red wine ( 2-3 glasses 4 times a week). I have almost hit 200 lbs which i have never been before. I knew it was because we did eat out a lot and i would eat whatever I wanted. I also had a broken foot in october that left me on the couch for almost a month. I also have a job where we have lots of potlucks. So now i'm here to lose some of this "love weight" lol even though he thinks i look fine. I'm doing this for myself and to get back in shape. So far this journey is going good but i'm hoping to lose around 20 lbs. Slow and steady. I'm going to be doing the 30 day shred I hope soon

rachellaurain

I totally understand the love food thing. Lol and the wine as well. I noticed that when I was in a very bad relationship, I was skinny. The skinniest I have ever been, at about 122 lbs. I was constantly trying to look better for a jerk, thinking that things would change. And it's funny, now that I'm in a very good relationship, I've just kept gaining and gaining.
I came to this site because I knew I couldn't lose the weight by guessing on how I'm doing, and also I can't do it alone.

nutellabrah

Good luck rachel!

I would recommend just having a goal and plan.

If you know what you're supposed to do and how you would do it, it becomes a lot more empowering the idea of setting it in motion.

So you read about how to transform your body. And the more you know your plan and what to do, the more you feel empowered to do it.

Knowledge is power.

benefiting

You can continue to self loath over the fact you had a bump in your road or you can put it in the past and start again. The only way you're going to let go is if you accept you made a mistake and continue doing something positive to get to your goal. Don't hate yourself, it happens.

seashell709

wow i was 150 lbs when i was in a bad relationship and people were always asking me if I ate anything. I have an athletic build and when i look back at pictures i don't ever want to look that way again. I was way to skinny and smaller than i was in high school.

I have a love for food since i'm italian and love bread and pasta. which doesn't help in the not gaining weight. Or the fact that my boyfriend loved all the bad foods and it didn't help that I kept making them and eating them. I know have found better recipes that we both enjoy of his favorites.

If you want to add me as a friend for support you may do so.

I came to the site to track how much i'm eating and keeping myself in check. I just remind myself to plan on one day at a time and that it's going to take time to take off the unwanted weight. I just can't give up. So far i'm on day 19 and have noticed my middle looks slimmer. I have also started to plan my foods the night before so that I know what i can eat. Best of luck on your journey!

janupshaw

Look on the bright side, you caught yourself at 15 lbs & not 30 or 40! You're on the right track, you're here! Good luck to you.