Successful yet embarrassed about past weight

prettyleodia

I tried so many things over the past five years to lose the weight that came on
suddenly. I gained 50 pounds over a year and a half.

Finally I started DDP yoga at the beginning of the year and went vegan.
The weight loss was fast!

I lost 40 pounds in about 4-5 months. I'm happy about that and yet I feel
embarrassed that I was so big previous to the weight loss. Seeing pictures I was shocked
that I was so heavy and big. How could I let people see me that way? I feel like how did I even let myself leave the house? It was much worse than I had thought.

I am happy that I've lost so much weight. I feel better and look better! I should
be over the moon.
Am I the only one who has ever felt this way?
Does it make me unappreciative about my progress?

:-/

kittenful

It seems to me that you're just realizing how much you've lost. That's a big deal! There's no shame in realizing how you looked, but you're not there, anymore. Try to be proud of your accomplishment and let the embarrassment go. It'll take time, but it's definitely worth it.

Edited to fix redundant sentence.

TravelinChiGal

I understand, but rock what you have now! I've been there! I just found my before picture of my profile picture yesterday. I can't believe it... You've got this! Great job!!

sklarbodds

I absolutely felt that way. Heck, I hate that I even have my before picture on here, where a lot of people understand. I look at old photos on Facebook and I almost want to throw up.

Especially when someone tags me in an old photo...can't stand it.

I'm very ashamed I ever let myself get that far.

cici1028

You are SO not alone. I look back a pictures of me in my twenties and sigh.... what was I thinking? How was I ok with that? But honestly, the way I get around it is to think: I would rather be ashamed of how I looked than be ashamed of how I look now!

Congratulations on your success. The shame will go away. Now I am proud of those pictures (and can even laugh at young me) because they demonstrate just how far I've come.

strunch

Better late than never.

djeden

... But honestly, the way I get around it is to think: I would rather be ashamed of how I looked than be ashamed of how I look now!

Wow. That right there definitely hit me. I've been feeling the same way... just realized the other day that I am currently down 40 pounds from my highest weight. I am very proud of all the work I have put in, but also ashamed of the fact that I was FORTY freaking pounds heavier and I am still not done. I want to shout my accomplishments from the rooftops, but I'm also embarrassed. Kind of like - if I tell them I am 40 pounds down, they will realize I was fat before. (Yeah, not really a surprise to people who saw me everyday though.)

So no, you are certainly not the only one who feels this way. I think we just have to get over it. cici1028 said it perfectly. I know I am not where I want to be, but I am also so proud of what I have accomplished so far. And you should be too. I think we will all get there eventually. It's just going to take us time to accept our weight loss and all the mental hurdles the process brings.

SezxyStef

No your not alone...took me a long time to post before and afters on FB because of embarassment...funny thing is people saw me that way for years...I was just really embarassed about it...

Now I am proud as a peacock. Esp when I posted a recipe and an old HS friend said..."no way you eat like that and look like you do..."...

mb1127

You're totally not alone. I saw a picture of myself this weekend and almost teared. It's funny how after you lose some weight you eventually forget what you looked like, like that wasn't really you. I'm even too embarassed to put up a good before picture, but I think it's about time I start embracing my accomplishments.

pendii

I feel the exact same way. I've lost 56 lb so far. Went from 222 to 166 at a height of 5'6. I lost most of my weight the end of 2012 into the spring of last year. I'm still working on the last bit. But people come up to me all the time to comment on how good I look and ask questions about how I lost the weight. On one hand it's nice for your efforts to show but on the other hand it's embarrassing. I feel like after all this time I just wanna move on and forward. I know people mean well but when they say stuff it's like. . Yep they remember what I did look like. Like maybe it would be nice for someone to comment on my good looks without the addition of telling me I did a good job losing weight. )

prettyleodia

I HATE it when my Dad posts pictures of me during trips and stuff before I lost the weight.
Had a trip to Florida a a few summers ago and the pictures he took of everyone at the beach that he posted on facebook (which I no longer have an active account) and in his yearly collage of photos calendars that he sends to family for Christmas.
When I see actual physical (not online) pics of myself then I want to burn them.

Thanks for the support and advice.
I seriously thought I would be the only one who feels/ this way.