Messing with phone scammers

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  • bid1130
    bid1130 Posts: 56 Member
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    I would get Google yellow page calls all the time. They would tell me how they can get me on the front page of Google search engine. I would kinda act like I was really back woods and never heard of the internet and such. They would try to explain how the search worked by telling me that I could just simply type in pizza and it would bring up pizza businesses. Well then I would go on a rant about my favorite pizzas and ask him if he liked pizzas and just keep going about different items that I could search for. I've had them on the line for 15 minutes at times!!! Then I would just say not interested and hang up!!!!!
  • Tomahawk3Niner
    Tomahawk3Niner Posts: 61
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    I don't really get a lot of scam calls but I do get a lot of technology vendors cold calling me, trying to sell me stuff for my company.

    The worst are the ink and toner sales people. One of my favorite things to do with them, if I've got enough time to sit through their pitch, is to string them along and sound interested. While this is going on I am looking up their company on the internet.

    It almost always finishes with, "let us send you a trial toner for Xprinter", I say sure. And then I give them their own address for delivery. From there it can go in a lot of different, usually hilarious directions.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    A couple months ago, I got a call from a solicitor. I pick up and he broke into his spiel.

    I waited until I had a chance to break in and said, "What are you wearing?"

    By the way, my wife and daughter were sitting there, too.

    The solicitor, a guy, paused for a moment and then jumped right back into his scripted presentation.

    So, I said, "Really, what are you wearing? I'm home all alone."

    Meanwhile, my daughter turns to my wife and says, "There's nobody on the line."

    I handed her the phone as the guy kept talking. My daughter laughed, and told my wife I wasn't bullshltting, and hung up the phone.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
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    I like to hand the phone to my grandkids.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
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    When my dad was alive we used to try and see if we could make them cry/cuss us out.

    We've done everything from having sex and then going back at it ...asking them to join in and talk dirty to our wife/girlfriend.

    Once I acted like I was masturbating and everything the person said just turned me on more.

    Would freak out and act like the house was on fire and kept asking do I save the XXX or wake my children and then proceed to carry out whatever XXX was.

    Acted like someone was trapped in the house and I wouldn't let them out unless the telemarketer came to get them.

    I once told a person I was extremely interested and just wanted to know all the ins and outs so if they could read the entire contract as I just moved and couldn't accept a fax/e-mail so they sat there for approximately 10 minutes reading the entire thing as I just walked away.

    Kept asking if they'd come join me for an orgy I was hosting that night

    Would ask intimate questions such as their favorite position, did they shave,etc.

    Would sign up for the service and give a fake credit card # that kept failing and have them retry numerous times getting more and more upset that it was failing.

    Explain that I just found out I was a transgender from birth and always felt like a part of me was missing and I now understand because I no longer have a penis.

    umm.. trying to think what else but yea it was a lot of fun
  • brayman1701
    brayman1701 Posts: 76 Member
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    I just let them talk for a bit and say oh can you do a payment plan. when they say oh yes and seem really interested I say ok how about £1 a month as soon as they say they cant I just say well i'm unemployed you see and they hang up ;)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,641 Member
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    I've been at work for less than 2 hours and answered 30 calls from phone scammers and it will continue for the rest of the day. This happens about once every other month. I'm running out of ideas on how to screw with them. Give me what ya got!
    Best one I've heard of yet: Crime scene prank on telemarketer

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIVfrBFc5og

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • kreene1987
    kreene1987 Posts: 40 Member
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    I don't really get a lot of scam calls but I do get a lot of technology vendors cold calling me, trying to sell me stuff for my company.

    The worst are the ink and toner sales people. One of my favorite things to do with them, if I've got enough time to sit through their pitch, is to string them along and sound interested. While this is going on I am looking up their company on the internet.

    It almost always finishes with, "let us send you a trial toner for Xprinter", I say sure. And then I give them their own address for delivery. From there it can go in a lot of different, usually hilarious directions.

    You should give them a competitors address and see hilarity ensue.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    When my son was an infant, if he was crying when/because they called I'd say "here, this is your fault" and hold the phone up to his mouth.

    I'm certain you can find a babycrying on youtube you can play.
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
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    Get yourself a whistle !
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    We get weird numbers that call my office during the day, caller ID always says "800 Service" when they call. We used to try to be polite, but now I'm at the point where if I happen to answer, they'll say they're looking to speak with someone (they'll either give me a random name, or they'll say "I'd like to speak with someone in charge" WHICH IS ME), but I'll say "oh sure, just hold on one second, let me get someone for you" and put them on hold forever until they hang up.

    My next step should be to change our hold music to something awful. Need good suggestions...
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    My boyfriend acts like he can't hear them, then he says....... "What do you want to sell me? Viagra? Okay I'll buy it, but on one condition, I'll have to try it out on your wife first."
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
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    i wonder how the telemarketer would react to

    "Help, I killed her, I don't know what to do!!! Where do I hide the body? HELP ME!!!"
  • tracieorama
    tracieorama Posts: 7
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    Another from my dad!

    Merchant Services has been asked many times to take me off their call list but here they go again.

    “this is Ben From Merchant Services, may I speak to the owner or manager please?”
    Me: This is Murray can I help you?”
    Ben: :We are currently offering the most competitive rates on Visa and Master Card services, that we’ve ever had.”
    Me: “We’re pretty much set here but I may be interested for a little business that I recently opened up for myself.” Ben: “Excellent! Excellent! Let me explain how it works and then we’ll have one of our sales associates go and meet with you!” Me: “No, this is a home business. My company is called Hot Poppas and we provide extremely mature male dancers for private bachelorette parties. Perhaps you’ve heard of us?”
    Ben: “No, I don’t think so?”
    Me: “Really? Your voice sounds familiar. Didn’t you used to work for me?”
    Ben: (laughing) No….NO……No sir!”
    Me: “Well anyway, I currently have only one employee, Carl, he says he 66 but he looks way older. We don’t pay Carl up front, I keep the booking money and Carl keeps the tips. I just give Carl bus money and the address to the gig but it’s up to the dancers to get there and back. You sure you’re not looking for work?”
    Ben: “No thank you sir, I’m happy here. When would be a good time for my salesman to be in your area?” Me: “I only ask because we had a problem with Carl last week. You see, we sent Carl to a bachelorette party at a Sports bar and Carl got a little confused and went into the Chucky Cheese next door. The song Black Betty by Ram Jam was playing and coincidently this is Carl’s dance music. Well, old Carl climbed up on the stage by the musical puppets and started taking his clothes off and shaking his old wrinkled booty all over the place. The kids were screaming and crying, the staff was pissed and the parents were horrified! Eventually a couple of the staff hustled Carl out of the restaurant and into the parking lot and I haven’t heard from him since. I felt so bad that I had my secretary make him a gift basket filled with his favorite things. Metamusil, Bengay and hard candy. If he ever comes back I’ll give it to him.”
    Ben: “if I could just get your address and a day and time when you’re in your office I could…”
    Me: “Sorry to cut you off Ben, my secretary just walked in. Can you hang on for a minute?”
    Ben: “Sure”
    Me: “Gotta run Ben! Carl just turned up at someone’s funeral in the west end. I can only hope that they’re not playing Black Betty as the send-off music!”
    click
  • toiletski
    toiletski Posts: 126 Member
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    LOL! Your dad is awesome!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    My grandpa would answer the phone "Kelly's pool hall! Cue ball speaking"...
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
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    One of my favorites: "I did what you asked, but there's blood everywhere".

    I have been answering unknown numbers on my phone here lately for several reasons...if I pick up and the caller is foreign or obviously a telemarketer, when they ask for me I'll say "I'm not available, can I take a message". They always hang up right away. :)
  • TrevNiel22
    TrevNiel22 Posts: 182
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    did not read any posts.

    When you get called

    " im naked and touching myself, what are you doing right now?"

    it works every time.

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