I need help, but don't know where to start.

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  • ghosting21
    ghosting21 Posts: 1
    I have gone through big changes and gone back to the beginning and all i can say is dont start too hard! don't eat perfect and exercise all at once slowly cut back then add in exercise after a few weeks or 3. if your not use to exercising then you get too hungry and i find it usually7 ends in failure. but if you can make it past that 3 weeks it gets a lot better eating healthy and u crave carrots etc. and the lbs drop fast. im only down 10 at the moment but lost 90 lbs a while back.

    Good luck! it is possible you just need the motivation!
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Hello, my names Callam.

    I 23yo, 5'10" and around 370lbs.

    I have always struggled with my weight as when I was little as my thyroid and pituitary gland crashed. I put on 2 stone in six weeks. Being a premature baby weighting only 3 lbs 2oz I was always small but perfectly proportioned child until this point. The diagnosis came from or spending every weekend form the age of 6 till the age of 14 at great Ormand street children's hospital. They also told me I would be brain dead by the age of 33 and will need to be put in a home.

    Years flew by, numerous test, scans and operations went by without any sign of a cure until one day my tests come back normal, I was a normal kid again. Except by the time I was 14 I was 17stone.

    Over the years my weight has ballooned. I left school at 12 as I couldn't deal with the bullying I was receiving and my family was worried for my safety with myself. I started at the family company in construction and started working for my father as quick as I could. My weight has risen up and up over the years in a yoyo fashion.

    At the age of 14 my best friend got cancer. My mother. We are very close as my father worked away a lot when I was young.

    She was given 6 months to live, I took the job of bringing my little sister up, soy parents could focus on getting mother better if there was a chance. That was 9 years ago now. She is still here, but has been left with a condition called fibromyalgia which has her in an awful lot of pain, I gave up any chances to a career to look after her while my father works and still do to this day.

    I really don't know where I'm going with this post as my emotions are so up in the air.


    I met a lovely girl febuary 2014, nothing could be more perfect. She didn't care about my size, she loved me for who I am. I couldn't wish for a greater partner.

    In June 2013 we decided that she would move in with my family so she could be there allot more.

    I slowly put more and more weight on, esp when I have up smoking, 3 stone exactly in 6 months.

    I was having panic attacks and mood swings. I was having breakdowns daily because of the new weight.

    As I got bigger and bigger effections got less and less, and the girl I fell in love with drifted away. All she wanted to do is spend all her time with her friends away from me and I was never invited. I knew they all said that she could do better. At first I knew she would tell them how perfect we was, but towards the end she started to feel it.

    I've gotten so big that I couldn't even make love to the woman I'm obsessed with, failure after failure ment she wanted less and less as a can see the disappointing look in her eyes. It would heart break me that I couldn't give her what she wanted. We argued a lot ore she she wanted more and more time apart. My self esteem got less and less, and I depended on her to make me feel nice. I always made an effort every way I could, I devoted my whole life to her. If I wasn't busy cleaning, cooking, washing floors ect I was giving it my all to make her life easier and to put a smile on that gorgeous face.


    Months have gone by and I've been hurt over and over again, I could see it had got to the point where she didn't wanna be with me as what I had become and the lack of duties I wasn't upholding as a man. She didn't passionately kiss me with our me asking. And even then I got the reply. Only one, with a brisk break from her phone where she would be constantly talking with all the men from her new job, a slim. Good looking, and all could give her something I couldn't.


    I hit rock bottom....

    I still am rock bottom, I let my girlfriend move on. Even tho I still am absolutely I love with her as it's the first steps of me getting my life on track and as hard as it is. I can't get hurt anymore as I've already thought about throwing in the towel with life and she is not helping me because she will not help me with my low esteem. Confidence, if I start crying she tells me to stop crying me walks out the room.

    I need to do this for myself, I need to get my life back on track. I just don't know where to start. Which direction do I go in.

    Everything's so confusing. It's hard to depend on myself now when you put your life in someone ended hands.


    The trouble I have is my confidence is so low I can't go out In public to do free cardio without panicking or feeling line I'm gunna faint when someone see's me

    And because I look after my mother I get very little money after my bills a month. I have £4 spare if I'm honest.

    I can't work for my father anymore as the constant weight on my back over the years have worn at my last 2 discs and I'm in constant pain. I have to go to the chiropractors 2 times a month which my mother pays for as I can't even imagine affording it. She insists I have to go.

    No money means I can't get to my gym or even by my own equipment.

    I eat healthy as I cook every meal in the house and drinks lots of water
    But can't seem to loose and lbs. I've tried so hard since I broke up withy partner but I've put on 7lbs in these last 2 weeks.

    Everything I try doesn't seem to work. I've come to a point where I can feel myself giving up, so I need help desperately


    Thank you for reading as I get this off my chest.


    Callam

    Callam,

    Does your thyroid and pituitary gland function normally now? Have you been to the doctors lately to have a check up and routine blood work? It's always important to check in with your doctor before beginning your weight loss journey just to make sure you don't have any other serious medical issues going on. You say it is hard for you to eat 1500 calories a day but you have continued to put on weight so this makes me wonder if you are still experiencing endocrine issues. If your thyroid isn't functioning properly, that might explain why you aren't losing weight.

    Do you have a food scale so you can accurately measure portions?

    Also, exercise is only 20% of losing weight. Most of it is diet. Do as much exercise as you can. Don't push yourself too hard at first though. You're going to be uncomfortable and you're going to feel like you're dying. But it will get easier.

    I suffer from severe generalized anxiety and panic disorder myself. It's the worst thing in the world so I know what you are going through. Because you are extremely vulnerable right now, I think you may want to look into therapy so someone who is professionally qualified to help people suffering from anxiety and depression can also help you out. You are going to need all the support you can get. A therapist will also be able to help you with your sleep habits. Weighing 370 lbs, it's likely you have sleep apnea which could be another reason for why you don't sleep well. Once your sleep is under control and you are on a normal schedule, you will feel a lot better. Sleep is very important to a person's overall well-being.
  • THECaptainObvious
    THECaptainObvious Posts: 399 Member
    Hey Callam:

    You are not alone here! I've been here since November and have NEVER lost as much weight in my life as I have so far.. Having people here to support you and cheer you on will do wonders! As it has been said before it sounds like you may want to make sure the thyroid and pituitary function is normal.. I would recommend starting with simple walking. I'm broke and have had pinched nerves and bulging disks so have not been able to join a gym or get a trainer but walking has really helped me starting out.. Slowly increase as you go. I also have general anxiety disorder and depression as well as hypoglycemia so if you ever need to vent I'm here.. I've noticed that with my group of friends there has been NO judgement whatsoever. With the diet that depends on your body, maybe your doctor could help with that. As far as the ex goes.. I have choice words but the main idea is FORGET HER.
    We're all in this together so feel free to add me! Let's do this!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I'm just going to throw my 2 bits in here...everyone has really awesome suggestions, and I highly recommend you try some of these things. But please, for all that is good in the world, try some relaxation therapy as well. When you have about 15 minutes of alone time, try downloading deep breathing exercises on your phone or computer. Guided meditation is great when you feel like your mind keeps wandering. I really liked the yoga recommendation. You don't have to do the extra hard poses, but the deep and mindful breathing is very helpful. Stress causes your cortisol (stress hormone) to skyrocket, and it's hard to lose weight when your cortisol is high. Exercise is a great stress release. I always say "I had a bad day, I'm going to sweat it out". I don't know if it's from fatigue or my cortisol dropping, but I do feel better after a good burn. Hope this helps :) Good luck!
  • Callamcampbell
    Callamcampbell Posts: 21 Member
    I had blood work around 4 years ago while having an operation as I have severe needle phobia and it's not fair on doctors to out them in that situation . I used to have sleep apnea while at great Ormand street but when all my stats leveled out this problem vanished. I know I can do this all by myself with the help of all of you :) I would prefer to do it without therapists or doctors, been prodded and poked enough in my life so far lol.

    I also got checked for diabetes and received the all clear.

    The reason I don't sleep well is a soon as I lay down my back throbs lol I can take painkillers to rid the pain but they knock me out for 10-14 hours. Which Is not ideal lol

    I've managed to get some free weights so I'm going to start using them, aswell as getting my bike fixed as I have a. 2 mile block.


    I have always been interested in meditation. I've always been told it will be good for me as ive always got my head in the clouds lol


    Thank you for all your kind support, you all one in a million :)

    P.s I never get that saying lol "one in a million" lol basically saying there's 6,000 people just like you haha
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    I had blood work around 4 years ago while having an operation as I have severe needle phobia and it's not fair on doctors to out them in that situation . I used to have sleep apnea while at great Ormand street but when all my stats leveled out this problem vanished. I know I can do this all by myself with the help of all of you :) I would prefer to do it without therapists or doctors, been prodded and poked enough in my life so far lol.

    I also got checked for diabetes and received the all clear.

    The reason I don't sleep well is a soon as I lay down my back throbs lol I can take painkillers to rid the pain but they knock me out for 10-14 hours. Which Is not ideal lol

    I've managed to get some free weights so I'm going to start using them, aswell as getting my bike fixed as I have a. 2 mile block.


    I have always been interested in meditation. I've always been told it will be good for me as ive always got my head in the clouds lol


    Thank you for all your kind support, you all one in a million :)

    P.s I never get that saying lol "one in a million" lol basically saying there's 6,000 people just like you haha

    You haven't had any blood work in 4 years? I totally understand the needle phobia as I have phobias myself. But a lot can change in 4 years in terms of blood work, especially when people are overweight/obese. If there's any way for you to have blood work done, I'd recommend it. Remember, it's in your best interest for your health.

    When you sleep, try putting a pillow between your knees. For some people it will ease their back pain!
  • Callamcampbell
    Callamcampbell Posts: 21 Member
    Nope, not in four years. It's not really an option, unless I have gas and air, which is abit out the question really just for bloods.

    I'll just have to work through it :)
  • loski832014
    loski832014 Posts: 2
    Hi I've been doing mfp for 3 weeks now and need to lose 5-6 stone. Can I add some of you's please.
  • ahripon
    ahripon Posts: 1
    A.H. Ripon is 22 year old, I'm a Blogger of the quotesaboutlifestyle.com blog. I'm complete BBA form Patuakhali Science and Technology University, Bangladesh. Born in a small village in Patuakhali, Bangladesh in 1992, I'm expert IT Section and also expert lifestyle blogging.

    My Blogs <a href="http://www.quotesaboutlifestyle.com/">Quotes About Life</a>
  • Deeangelique
    Deeangelique Posts: 17 Member
    Oh bless. Sorry to hear everything you've been through.

    BUT, to be honest, it makes me think that if you have been through all that trauma in life and been strong enough to get to where you are today, then this should actually be fairly easy for you!!! You've just got to have a little faith. I know its hard, trust me!

    I was 271lbs when i started. I have lost 6lbs so far (2 in the first week, 1 in the second week, 3 this week). I have tried the weight loss thing many times before and failed. But this time, it's not an option. I am doing this, and im feeling positive about it which really helps.

    The good thing for you to know is - im not doing Britians biggest loser or any crazy diets. Im not excercising until i feel sick. All im doing is little lifestyle changes. For example - i live on the 8th floor of a block of flats, always used to get the lift. Now, i walk down the stairs to work every day, and when i come home, i walk up to the 3rd floor. It was originally the 2nd floor and I'm working my way up. I am out of breathe and red in the face when i go up those stairs, but it's just a few minutes a day, and not a huge session down the gym feeling embarrassed. I've also tried walking more, and sitting on a gym ball or using low weight dumbells while i watch tv. Not for long, not going full pelt, but its still a huge difference to laying on the sofa not moving!

    Food wise, im finding that completing the diary fully and honestly every day helps me. I do go over sometimes, but if it's just by 100-200calories, i dont beat myself up about it - it's still a big difference on before! I have removed temptation from the house (chocolate, ice cream, cakes, pizzas) and buy low fat cheese and try grating it rather than slicing so i dont have as much. Ive swapped baked beans for tinned spaghetti, bacon for turkey rashers, and crisps with low fat maize snacks or Snack-a-Jacks. I drink loads more squash/cordial and force myself to a limit of one can of diet coke a day. I also make sure each day at work i get a tesco meal deal with a sandwich that's under 400 calories, and quavers which are only 80 calories. I then have a fruit smoothie with it (it's calories, but it's healthy), and drink at least one 750ml bottle of water each day.

    If there's anything you cant do with out, see if you can find an lower calorie version or alternative. Like pizza - some of those are HUGE calories, especially take away ones. So instead, buy a lower calorie thin crust frozen pizza like the Ristorante ones. You could even break it in half when you buy it, then when you go to the freezer for one, you'll only cook up and eat half of it.

    I hope that helps you! Feel free to add me if you want to look at my diary for some examples, or need some support. Believe in yourself and try to surround yourself with positive people who care so you can stay happy. 'down days' will be too hard to fight off the binges, but if you do have one, dont give up! Get back on that wagon the next day!

    good luck x

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