Anybody else losing fat...TO LOOK GOOD?

contingencyplan

I've been obese since I was a teenager. I never cared to do anything about it until one right before my 28th birthday. I did something I had always wanted to do and bought a motorcycle. Learning how to ride was complicated by the fact that I was actually heavier and more massive than the bikes they make you ride in the beginner instructional courses, and although I passed, I did it just barely and I didn't feel that I was all that safe of a rider as a result. Getting to a normal weight was a must for me if I wanted to become a rider for life. That is and was my sole reason.

The initial reply to the OP struck a chord with me because they said EVERYONE is doing it for looks. That is simply not the case.

Stripeness

You make a good point, although your "function"/ "form" comment sounds a bit contradictory; after all, function has a lot to do with the form. Anyway, yes, it is possible that many people just "like the way they look", but something tells me that each one of these people, at least once in their live thought "I wish I were close (if not as) to her size..." What is that called - oh, wait, "being in a denial stage". I am not overweight at all, yet I still want to manage my weight as much as possible. Why? Aside of health reasons and economic reasons (eliminating the need of constantly replacing cloths that don't fit anymore), the psychological comfort of being somewhat in control of how I function as it relates to my size, beats all other reasons; and the older you get, the more limitations you start experiencing, and don't tell me that even though someone "feels good" at 200LB does not wonder about their mobility factors as they age, hence think about their size. You might not have the goal or desire to lose weight, but I bet that thoughts in your head are often more honest than any public statement regarding your "self comfort at your size" - by "YOU" I mean anyone, not specifically you

Ohhh, losing weight has to happen for me -it's part of mobility! And I'm not saying I don't care about how I look or that it sucks to be a smaller size. It's just so secondary to the functionality. I've always been athletic, so I've got an excellent understanding of my motivators. No denial needed.

As an example, my knees are not okay with jogging when I'm above 200 lbs. So I'm excited about getting back under! I'll drop another pants size along the way - which is nice...but not nearly the motivator that being able to do pacework again is.

Someone else might be primarily motivated by just getting into the smaller pants size or looking great in a bikini - good for them. That's just not my primary motivator. Won't get me out the door for my workout. It's a fringe benefit.

There's no reason to insist that everyone has the same motivators. Or that someone who isn't motivated by the same things you are is in denial. Be happy about knowing what motivates you, and use it to achieve your goals.

Stripeness

Sorry, I obviously misread the tone in your original post then. I got the feeling you were claiming that nobody loses weight without being focussed on improving how they look, and if they claim they aren't then it is a lie. I felt a bit affronted because my primary reason was NOT for appearance. To be honest I don't care if someone thinks I'm vain, shallow, narcissistic or belittles what I've achieved, because I did this for me and not for anyone else.

This exactly.

Iwishyouwell

Excellent conversation starter!

I was fat my entire life, even as an infant. My doctor told my mother I was too fat at six months old. She was told to put me on a diet, which she did. It didn't work. I grew up the fat kid who was made fun of because, back in the 60's and 70's, obese kids were the minority. The kids at school gave me a hard time, and my dad was even worse. My mother tried to steer me in the right direction of "good" food while my skinny family ate all the "bad" food because they were thin.

The more people bugged me about my weight, the worse I felt about myself, as if there were something wrong with me. As a kid, and even partially through adulthood, I allowed myself to have really low self esteem due to my weight.

Yup, the fat kid. My story is a little different. I wasn't a fat baby, I was actually born almost 2 months early. The doctors were expecting me to be underdeveloped, but to the doctors shock I came out small, but perfectly formed. I was a normal weighted child for the first 4 or 5 years of my life. Then I got fat right before elementary school. I grew up in the 80s and 90s, and I was one of only 2 fat boys in my entire elementary school. Yet, miraculously, I was not bullied for my weight. I can count on one hand how many derogatory comments I recall anybody saying about my weight, even though I was genuinely VERY fat. I didn't catch any flack at home either; my mom and dad, who'd been slim in their younger years, were both fat by the time I came along. My younger sister was overweight, and my youngest brother, who stayed slim the longest, eventually joined us. There was no fat shaming of the kids at home.

Yet still I was miserable. I became cognizant of my fatness in the 5th grade and it shattered me. I didn't look like the other boys, but even at that age I felt like I was suppose to. I didn't feel right in my own skin even that young. I started my first diet in middle school. Every day I woke up miserable about my appearance. It felt like I was literally living in somebody else's body. I didn't have a miserable childhood because of it; I was intelligent, talented, moderately popular, had friends. But inside I was living a private sort of torment because I simply could not believe that I looked like that, it was just so incredibly jarring. Even violating. That did numbers on my self esteem and self image that has taken me a very, very long time to correct as an adult. And the years I spent fat in my adult years haven't helped either.

So yes, sometimes kids deteriorate in their self esteem because of external pressures and insults from peers, parents, and even other adults. But I'm a witness to the fact that you can grow up fat, yet still avoid almost all the pitfalls that come with bullying, teasing, and belittling comments, and still not escape unscathed.

Iwishyouwell

I don't think it matters why anyone wants to lose weight, it's a personal thing and if they say it's for health reasons who are you to question whether there is a vanity component in there too?!

For me it was the fact that I came back from a holiday in Asia with scars on my thighs from a month of constant sweat rash. My clothes didn't fit, in fact I ripped two of my favourite pairs of pants just doing normal daily things, and it is expensive to need to buy new clothes. I was out of breath walking up the two flights of stairs to our apartment, I was eating a huge amount of food that I didn't need and I felt crap. Looking better has been a positive side effect but I found that moving the focus on weight loss to being on something other than what I looked like gave me more objectivity about my successes, and as such I stuck with it in a way I had found difficult a few months earlier.

And you aren't likely to be villainized, called shallow, narcissistic, or have your goals belittled for this reason.

This thread isn't about "questioning" people who are losing for health reasons. It's a commiseration about the reality that there is a seemingly increasing backlash against people who are losing primarily or solely for aesthetic reasons. I'm not judging your for losing for health, and I doubt anybody else in this thread is.

Sorry, I obviously misread the tone in your original post then. I got the feeling you were claiming that nobody loses weight without being focussed on improving how they look, and if they claim they aren't then it is a lie. I felt a bit affronted because my primary reason was NOT for appearance. To be honest I don't care if someone thinks I'm vain, shallow, narcissistic or belittles what I've achieved, because I did this for me and not for anyone else.

I'm not sure how you derived that from the original post (vs some of the posts that followed), but no, that isn't my intention and it's absolutely not the point of this thread. This thread is about people who are villainized for having primarily aesthetic goals.

The only way I can imagine you got that impression is skipping the entire post and focusing on this one statement:

" And what's worse is that I think this is clearly a lie. Would most of us really be busting our buts to widdle down our frames if our new bodies didn't visually change?"

And even in this I never said "everyone", I said I believe "most" have looks play some part in their weight loss. And note I didn't even say that was the primary motivator.

icimani

Not bad at all.

I think if someone is telling you their weight loss has nothing to do with looking better / good, they're either deluding themselves or they're lying. I'm not saying it's the only reason, or even the most important reason, but I think it's a contributing factor. As much as we don't want to to be ruled by what other people think, it's a fact of life.

And you really think that's true of everyone?

My sole reason for changing my ways from 335 lbs was to become better at motorcycling. I really don't care about the whole "looking better" aspect.

Why, honestly, do you think this is true of EVERYONE? Is it really so difficult comprehend the idea that someone can be so wrapped up in the "function" aspect of things that they don't care for the "form" aspect?

Yep - I do think it's true of everyone, whether they admit it (even to themselves) or not. Maybe not the primary reason, but it's a piece of it. It's a very personal thing, and everyone has their own reasons for losing weight. And I think there's always a piece of it that is about looking better.

contingencyplan

Not bad at all.

I think if someone is telling you their weight loss has nothing to do with looking better / good, they're either deluding themselves or they're lying. I'm not saying it's the only reason, or even the most important reason, but I think it's a contributing factor. As much as we don't want to to be ruled by what other people think, it's a fact of life.

And you really think that's true of everyone?

My sole reason for changing my ways from 335 lbs was to become better at motorcycling. I really don't care about the whole "looking better" aspect.

Why, honestly, do you think this is true of EVERYONE? Is it really so difficult comprehend the idea that someone can be so wrapped up in the "function" aspect of things that they don't care for the "form" aspect?

Yep - I do think it's true of everyone, whether they admit it (even to themselves) or not. Maybe not the primary reason, but it's a piece of it. It's a very personal thing, and everyone has their own reasons for losing weight. And I think there's always a piece of it that is about looking better.

And you really can't wrap your head around the idea that someone may not care about looks at all? Sorry but that is very narrow-minded of you.

Goldenwoof

Abso-freakin-lutely!

Yes, the health thing matters. Yes, I like that I perform better at everything I do when my weight is lower. But when I'm 185-190 instead of 210-215? Excuse the vanity, boys and girls, but this looks goooood.

KnM0107

Not bad at all.

I think if someone is telling you their weight loss has nothing to do with looking better / good, they're either deluding themselves or they're lying. I'm not saying it's the only reason, or even the most important reason, but I think it's a contributing factor. As much as we don't want to to be ruled by what other people think, it's a fact of life.

And you really think that's true of everyone?

My sole reason for changing my ways from 335 lbs was to become better at motorcycling. I really don't care about the whole "looking better" aspect.

Why, honestly, do you think this is true of EVERYONE? Is it really so difficult comprehend the idea that someone can be so wrapped up in the "function" aspect of things that they don't care for the "form" aspect?

Yep - I do think it's true of everyone, whether they admit it (even to themselves) or not. Maybe not the primary reason, but it's a piece of it. It's a very personal thing, and everyone has their own reasons for losing weight. And I think there's always a piece of it that is about looking better.

And you really can't wrap your head around the idea that someone may not care about looks at all? Sorry but that is very narrow-minded of you.

Agreed! I have no problem with people losing weight for looks. I do have a problem with all the absolutes being thrown around. Once someone says "everyone" or "all men/women, I stop listening. I did not lose weight for looks. I was brought up to not focus on outward appearance and it stuck. I lost weight because I was 18 and dying! I had a list of health problems that were similar to those my middle aged aunts were suffering from. I work out and eat right now to keep/build strength for my job. My job is very important to me (probably because I co-own it). Believe it or not, some people DO NOT care about looks. I am one of those people. Just as those worried about looks don't want to be called shallow or vain, I don't appreciate being called a lier...

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Uh like, everybody.

Looking better may or may not be their primary goal but it is definitely somewhere on the list.

Whoever said it was a bad thing? A stuck up hypocrite, that's who.

KnM0107

Uh like, everybody.

Looking better may or may not be their primary goal but it is definitely somewhere on the list.

Whoever said it was a bad thing? A stuck up hypocrite, that's who.

No it is NOT definitely somewhere on the list...not for everyone anyway.

MakePeasNotWar

For me it's about getting to a fighting weight where I won't have an opponent 4" taller than me. The aesthetic difference between 150 and 140lb at 5'9.5" is not nearly enough motivation for me to work so hard (not that I don't want to look leaner, just don't want it enough to do anything about it)

You need to be careful with these "everyone" statements. There are women at my gym who lose weight long term to drop weight classes without having to cut so much each time and actually like the way they look when they are heavier. I know it's a rare exception, but "everybody" implies no exceptions.

That being said, nothing wrong with wanting to be thinner to look better. Just don't assume everyone's the same.

josephinabonetto

I have approx 7.5 lb left to lose.

For me, the lack of stress when getting dressed in the morning, buying clothes, and getting ready to go out is priceless. How that makes you feel can not be a bad thing, and part of that is looks based. If you don't have rolls of fat spilling out, and are not trying to shoehorn yourself into something that doesn't make you look like a hippo you do feel a lot more confident. There is nothing wrong with that.

Earlier on a guy mentioned looking good naked, nothing wrong with that either. I am still a bit squidgy around the middle but no lights off needed now. Confidence is key and I have that now I have a healthy BMI.

kk_140

I am doing this to look better. I am not overweight by any means but I want to drop a few pounds to look better, to feel better about myself, and to feel confident when I go shopping for cute summer clothes.

There are so many people who say, "please don't tell me you're just doing this to be thinner." That really bothers me.

Annie_01

I think age and maybe where someone is in their life plays a role for how much emphasis they place on "looks".

For me at age 61 it is more about health and quality of life than looks. That doesn't mean however that I don't appreciate my body also looking better.

I faced at the beginning of this that I won't ever have a body that one would call "hot"...that there would be excess skin...that not all the damage that I did to my body for years would just disappear with the weight. I accept that.

If I was younger...yeah...it might be more about the "hot".

I will look healthier...that is what I am going for...and feeling healthy.

jwilson136

This is pretty much my ONLY reason for losing weight. Plus I used fitness and healthy eating to replace my smoking habit, and it has worked wonders on my health. Ive already lost a pants size since the first and I am only excited to lose even more. I'm ready for that Beach Body!

Jkn921

Not really, more towards the health benefits i.e. reduced risk of diseases and to help maintain a positive mood. I definitely do look a lot better while losing it though. I don't think it would of worked for me as a sole reason though because I loved junk food too much and I didn't know how to do it correctly...

tabbyxxcat

A lot of people have a very good point: you can take people diagnosed with diabetes and heart problems and joint pain and all this stuff, and some of them will decide that eating better for their health is worth it and some will decide to just live off the meds for the rest of their, probably shorter, life.

But dangle a diet out there that will make people look good and you'll see everyone scramble for it!!!! Humans are doomed to want to forever look good for themselves and everyone else, we judge each other based on physical characteristics before even hearing the words come out of their mouths.

So somewhere inside, people wanting to "feel good in their own skin" is a core reason for why we all want to lose weight, and I feel like we shouldn't scold each other for it. It's not shallow at all, I feel.

KnM0107

A lot of people have a very good point: you can take people diagnosed with diabetes and heart problems and joint pain and all this stuff, and some of them will decide that eating better for their health is worth it and some will decide to just live off the meds for the rest of their, probably shorter, life.

But dangle a diet out there that will make people look good and you'll see everyone scramble for it!!!! Humans are doomed to want to forever look good for themselves and everyone else, we judge each other based on physical characteristics before even hearing the words come out of their mouths.

So somewhere inside, people wanting to "feel good in their own skin" is a core reason for why we all want to lose weight, and I feel like we shouldn't scold each other for it. It's not shallow at all, I feel.

SMH... stop with the absolutes. It is not a core reason for everyone. Are people really this narrow minded?

DeltaZero

SMH... stop with the absolutes. It is not a core reason for everyone. Are people really this narrow minded?

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