How badly do we want this??
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Okay, I want to drop 50lbs. I've been wanting to drop that amount for the last 4 years. Why haven't I done it? Why haven't I lasted more than 2-3 weeks without throwing in the towel? I see results when I begin and then I just develop an "I don't really care" attitude and give up. But I do care.
Does this happen with anyone else?
In my personal experience it has to ultimately be about more than just dropping the weight. I started packing on the pounds when i was 30 and packed on a good 50 or so between then and last year when I turned 38. Along the way I made any number of attempts to lose weight but nothing really stuck. For me, the reality was that vanity and just wanting to be leaner was really a piss poor motivator...it really wan't that important...overall I was pretty happy and I actually carried my weight pretty well.
All of that changed for me last year. I went in for some blood work due to my dad informing all of us that at age 60 he was in stage III kidney disease, a type II diabetic with full blown metabolic syndrome, and a number of other issues. My blood work showed that I was heading down this same path...it showed that I had precursors to all of those things my dad was now dealing with. For him, it was too late...he actually had precursors to all of this when he was my age but never did anything about any of it...he just kept on doing what he was doing until it was too late to fix the problems.
Well, it wasn't/isn't too late for me...I suddenly became nutrition and fitness obsessed (not weight obsessed)...it was no longer about my weight...it was about whether or not I was getting proper nutrition...what should I be eating to help combat X, Y, & Z...it became about getting my basic recommended fitness of 150 minutes per week in for general health. The bigger picture of overall health and well being started to come into focus...my weight loss of 40 Lbs thus far was just a nice bi-product of rocking my fitness and nutrition for the past 16 months or so.
I have completely reversed all of my bad blood work and recently took a cardiac stress test which resulted in a score of "excellent"...these are the things that motivate me, not the number on the scale...that number is arbitrary and largely irrelevant. My dad passed on two weeks before Christmas at the ripe old age of 61...I was heading down that same path...I'm now on a different path...one that leads to strength and wellness and one that will hopefully go on for sometime longer than my dad's.
RIP dad...you are my inspiration....0 -
I thing people generally underestimate the challenge and oversimplify the reasons things aren't working. If you only have a handful of 'healthy' meals you know you enjoy and are comfortable preparing, etc, and a plethora of easy crap, you'll get bored with the handful and revert. If you're doing exercise you don't enjoy, you won't stick with it. If you're looking for massive change in 3 days, you'll be disappointed.
You need to take a look at what's going on for you when you throw in the towel, evaluate it, and change it.
Everyone wants these things to happen overnight... and while you can will yourself into a miserable crash diet, those sorts of things don't really create a positive experience or a positive change. You kinda have to be in it for the long haul, mishaps and setbacks and all.0 -
How badly do *you* want it? Not very, apparently.0
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There is DESIRE and there's COMMITMENT. You need number 2 to reach your goal.Okay, I want to drop 50lbs. I've been wanting to drop that amount for the last 4 years. Why haven't I done it? Why haven't I lasted more than 2-3 weeks without throwing in the towel? I see results when I begin and then I just develop an "I don't really care" attitude and give up. But I do care.
Does this happen with anyone else?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I have completely reversed all of my bad blood work and recently took a cardiac stress test which resulted in a score of "excellent"...these are the things that motivate me, not the number on the scale...that number is arbitrary and largely irrelevant. My dad passed on two weeks before Christmas at the ripe old age of 61...I was heading down that same path...I'm now on a different path...one that leads to strength and wellness and one that will hopefully go on for sometime longer than my dad's.
RIP dad...you are my inspiration....
I'm so sorry for your loss
As to the OP: I find being too restrictive and trying too much too soon will burn you out faster than a lit match. A moderate calorie deficit coupled with a good starting exercise (like walking), is what worked for me and kept me logging every single day. Researching caloric needs and nutrition research has also helped greatly. And lastly, listening to all of the so-called "meanies" on MFP has kept me going. For me, obviously I want to lose weight, or I wouldn't be here, but it's no longer how badly I want it, it's how sustainable it's become for me.0 -
I needed to find the approach that would work for me. Portion control and a crap ton of walking are working and though I love the latter, the former peeves me off every 3-4 months.
I've built up habits, so it doesn't bother me much to portion out my food and log it.
I've picked up things from MFP as well, such as it's not that insane to take a food scale to a restaurant, weight fluctuates constantly, and don't spazz out over take-out food.0 -
I wanted this badly for the last good few years, I tried different diets and threw myself in whole heartedly, for a few weeks/couple of months. The fault lied not with how much I wanted it but how I was trying to get there. I have a lot to lose and it wasn't realistic for me to think I could stick to any of the diets I started for a long time simply because they were diets. I adjusted my way of thinking and I don't mind admitting it took a while before I really got my head around losing slowly at a modest calorie deficit. For the first time in years I feel almost free of the angst that came with my eating habits.
Previously I have always been dieting, trying and failing to diet or eating what I want and gaining weight. The emotions that came with this behaviour was worse than the actual weight gain, the elation of losing weight was quickly replaced by the disappointment of not losing enough or reaching a certain amount by a planned date, the guilt when I woke up and realised I had failed another day of trying to start a diet and the horrible feeling of stepping on the scales and seeing I had gained more weight, all these emotions made me feel quiet bad about myself, looking back it wasn't a nice place to be in.
Now as stated I have a modest calorie deficit, I account for everything I eat, even when over my days calorie allowance. I enjoy my food go for meals, have plenty of treats and eat foods I love. If I go over one day I reduce my calories for a few days to cover, I make sure that there is always at least a 3500 calorie weekly deficit, usually theres a little more due to exercise calories as I don't eat them all. As my weight goes down I will reduce my target weight loss when needed.
Basically its not how badly I want this that has changed, its how I've decided to get there.0 -
I agree with the folks who say do it for your health. I'm human, and female, I like to look good. But looks alone is not motivation enough for me.
Seeing friends and relatives my age have heart attacks and strokes, being diagnosed with diabetes or insulin resistance. Seeing my parents and elderly relatives with their little plastic containers of pills that must be taken throughout the day, every day. Seeing all these people just accept that they can't do <whatever> any more.
Knowing that so much of it is preventable just through diet and exercise. THAT motivates me.0 -
Okay, I want to drop 50lbs. I've been wanting to drop that amount for the last 4 years. Why haven't I done it? Why haven't I lasted more than 2-3 weeks without throwing in the towel? I see results when I begin and then I just develop an "I don't really care" attitude and give up. But I do care.
Does this happen with anyone else?
Because it's hard. That's why people give up. Because it's hard to look at your life and admit that you are the reason you're overweight. That you really have been eating more than you should and not exercising as much as you could. That there really isn't any extenuating circumstance that caused it and it really was because you stuffed cookies down your gaping maw. That you really are as big as the scale says. That's why the diet industry is booming. They count on people wanting a quick way out over and over because having to face things, make the change, and maintain it is really freaking hard.
The way to get through it - you have to want it. I started by incorporating exercise, no change to my diet. I had to do it that way because I knew if I made too many changes at once, I would fail. Once the exercise was in place, I started eating less. Then I started logging and eating a deficit. Boom. Weight falling off. It took me 7 weeks before I got to that point, but I'm still here and it's still happening. That's not to say I don't still have bad days and days where I want to eat everything in sight, or days when I don't want to work out. I still have the urge to binge on foods, but since I faced up to the reasons why I want to do that, I can beat it. This isn't going to happen quickly, but it's going to happen.
You gotta want it, and you gotta be willing to work for it.0 -
Yes. We care, but we also want instant results. Somehow, it always seems like the "insignificant" amount of weight we can lose in 2-3 weeks doesn't seem like it's worth the effort. We think, "I just lost a measly 6 pounds over the last 3 weeks!!" I feel like I can put on 6 pounds by looking at food.
It's really hard to remind yourself that if the scale's going in the right direction, then it's worth it. Usually it just takes wanting it bad enough to "endure the pain" of making changes. Like the story I heard about a hound dog bellowing because he was laying on a nail. The owner of the dog was asked why the dog didn't just move....."Because it don't hurt him enough."0 -
The misery of being overweight clearly doesn't outweigh the enjoyment you get from overeating.
I found that cognitive behavioral therapy with a counselor who specialized in disordered eating helped me to reframe my thoughts and priorities. I doubt that I would be almost 3 years into this endeavor without the counseling.0 -
Did I write this? This feels like me so so much.0
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Ive added you too if thats okay. we seem to be in a similar place.0
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I put off losing weight for years I have done it in the past and over time it all came back out and then some. After having my daughter I didn't put a lot of effort into losing weight and really wasn't all that interested I was not unhappy on a day-to-day basis. If I allowed myself to dwell on it yes I was unhappy being so overweight. I knew something had to be done or I would encounter health problems as I got older and of course it's harder to lose the old you are.
I set about to lose weight and at some point had the realization that I had to eat this way forever it wasn't a diet it was something I would have to do forever and finding something I could live with daily. Is taking a lot longer than I would've imagined I have been doing this for about 18 months and bounce around the 50 pound lost mark. In general I am very happy where I am and would like to lose another 20 to 30 pounds, Which I'm guessing will take 6 to 10 months to do so. So while it has been slow it has been sustainable of course I bounce around a few pounds which most people do anyway regardless of weight.
Two trains of thought have kept me on track first is time is passing weather or do something or not or is other people have put it a year from now you wish you started today. The other is you have to eat like this in person you want to be Or imagine you will be.
Of course there are days and times I wish I could just go back to eating whatever I want whenever I want. Clearing out most of my closet of bigger clothes leaving me with fitting or even small clothes is a continual motivator on top of all the other reasons.
Given my age going back to 80+ pounds overweight simply is not an option. PERIOD. I have some before and after pics in my profile I reset my ticker at the beginning of the year just as an FYI.
Good luck I hope you find your way!0 -
For me it took more than just wanting to lose weight. My motivation has come from wanting more for myself...wanting a better more joy filled life. Over weight and physically unfit was not giving me what I wanted.
So I have tried to educate myself...I read...research...throw most of it out the window...until I found a way that works for me.
I have also done one other thing...looked back to find out why I have always failed before and more importantly...why I let myself down to begin with.
During my first 50lb loss it has been about eating healthy and beginning to exercise. While I lose that last 50lbs...it is about me dealing with all of those issues that put me here. It is finally about living the life I deserve.
No one can tell you why you haven't succeeded thus far nor how to succeed in the future...both are unique to an individual.
I look at it this way...with each pound I lose...and I have worked hard to lose each one of them...I also lose one more excuse to give up.0 -
That is so true! The "Wanting" to lose weight isn't always strong. It's uncomfortable to make changes. I hate that! It should be more rewarding to take risks and be uncomfortable. I have a lot to think about now. Thank you for sharing.0
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I would also add that one of the biggest reasons I see people fail is that they think the have to do a 180* overnight and completely change their entire way of life...and then they don't see the instantaneous results that they thought they would surely see and three weeks later they give up.
It's a long haul...nothing happens overnight...this is all a series of baby steps. When you fall down you get back up and just keep going...you don't "start over"...that is small thinking...that if you have fallen, you must have failed and thus must start at the beginning. Big picture thinking allows you to get up, brush yourself off, and carry on. It's all about making little positive changes here and there...next thing you know you're like damn...I'm rockin' this **** and loving every second of it.
If you're like most of us, you'll likely have to address your definition of healthy...for most people (and most of us were there at one time or another), eating "healthy" means being really restrictive...eating lots and lots of celery and salad and what not and eliminating pretty much anything that even remotely tastes good...'cuz if it tastes good, it must not be good for you amirite? I mean I see all of the time here on MFP..."what are some healthy recipes?"...and I just kinda shake my head. Just pick up a cook book and cook food with scratch ingredients...that's healthy...
Really though, it's about baby steps...it's about trying to be better today than you were yesterday and sleeping well tonight in the knowledge that you will rock the party tomorrow and be even more awesome. You're not going to be 100% all of the time...you will miss workouts...you will over indulge on occasion...again, these aren't reasons to start over...these are reasons to get up and carry on and become one with awesomeness.0 -
I would also add that one of the biggest reasons I see people fail is that they think the have to do a 180* overnight and completely change their entire way of life...and then they don't see the instantaneous results that they thought they would surely see and three weeks later they give up.
It's a long haul...nothing happens overnight...this is all a series of baby steps. When you fall down you get back up and just keep going...you don't "start over"...that is small thinking...that if you have fallen, you must have failed and thus must start at the beginning. Big picture thinking allows you to get up, brush yourself off, and carry on. It's all about making little positive changes here and there...next thing you know you're like damn...I'm rockin' this **** and loving every second of it.
If you're like most of us, you'll likely have to address your definition of healthy...for most people (and most of us were there at one time or another), eating "healthy" means being really restrictive...eating lots and lots of celery and salad and what not and eliminating pretty much anything that even remotely tastes good...'cuz if it tastes good, it must not be good for you amirite? I mean I see all of the time here on MFP..."what are some healthy recipes?"...and I just kinda shake my head. Just pick up a cook book and cook food with scratch ingredients...that's healthy...
Really though, it's about baby steps...it's about trying to be better today than you were yesterday and sleeping well tonight in the knowledge that you will rock the party tomorrow and be even more awesome. You're not going to be 100% all of the time...you will miss workouts...you will over indulge on occasion...again, these aren't reasons to start over...these are reasons to get up and carry on and become one with awesomeness.
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