Finding that sustainable balance-VENT

sara_alexandra

I've been trying to lose weight for...YEARS. 5-6 maybe at this point, maybe more. While I have lost weight since last year (about 10), which I'm proud of, I still am unhappy with how I look and feel.

I realize that I need to stay WAY clear of any commercial "diet" to succeed. Diets lead to failure in most cases, and back to square one. So time and time again, I'm told that the key to successful weight loss is to find "what works for you". Makes sense. What works for me will be different than others so asking "what did YOU do?" won't be much help.

So this is more of a vent since I have to stay true to myself, and not go asking everyone on MFP what helped them discover what worked for them. But it's just frustrating. For a month and a half, I lost 7 lbs eating mostly just the same thing: oatmeal or toast with PB, protein shakes, and lunches consisting of turkey/chicken and veggies. But that's not sustainable!!

Basically, I know that I need to just focus on eating wholesome, good for you foods that will make me FEEL good. I'm sure that eventually my goal weight will come naturally by eating that way. But I also know that calories matter. ITS A VICIOUS CYCLE!

ok i'm done. thanks for reading

twixlepennie

I'm in maintenance and for me, I had to come to the realization that I needed to eat in a way that was doable for 40+ years. Really, that's quite mind boggling when you think about it! But, that's the reality of maintenance-losing the weight is for such a short period of time, compared to the years and years of maintaining the loss. That's a big reason why 95% fail at this long term.

I've done some experimenting with different ways of eating (primal, vegetarian, 'clean/whole' food diet etc). And what I realized is that for me-I need to eat the things I enjoy eating or I'm just not going to stick with it. So, I continue to eat fast food, 'junk' food, foods that I like, foods that make me happy to eat (like a good piece of chocolate mmmm). But, I've learned throughout this process that I need to keep an eye of portion sizes, plan out my food for the day ahead of time, if I chose a higher calorie fast food lunch then I need to eat a lighter supper etc etc. And most importantly-it all comes down to calories and math-period.

It's working great for me and I'm maintaining successfully, am healthy, happy and able to do this now, for the long haul

Lizzy622

on the contrary asking "what did YOU do?" actually does help. I read many different approaches and it gives me new things to try or warns me of some dangers others have faced.

ldula88

I agree that most commercial diets don't work in the long run for several reasons: cost, sustainability, etc. What I did that finally worked for me was switching to a Paleo/Primal lifestyle. I cut out processed foods and most grains (although I do have oats or whole grains every once in a while now that I'm past the first few months). I still eat dairy, just nothing with flavorings or chemicals added. I lowered my carb intake, although I still eat about 100 g of carbs a day, so not really "low carb." And because I'm on my feet 40 hours a week, I didn't do one bit of exercise (although I am adding yoga and strength training back in in February). I think it was really the change in mindset that helped me the most. Deciding to switch to a Whole Foods lifestyle (and avoiding the word DIET) was the kick I needed to track my calories and stick with it instead of giving up after a month. Hope you find your own perfect method!!! Good luck to you!

kgeyser

I ran into the same problem. I started eating certain foods, finally saw weight loss, and then just stuck with those foods. It drove me crazy. I've been working on changing up my meals to include more variety, and that's been helping me out a lot. Maybe asking people on MFP for meal ideas might help you out of the rut.

sara_alexandra

Thanks so much everyone! I appreciate the input. I, too, ate primal/paleo for a while. I've tried everything actually! I'm hoping i can find something that sticks, but in the meantime, just try my best to make every meal healthy.

dmt4641

If I had mostly the same thing every day I would be pretty sick of it too. I have tried many diets as well and all of them worked for a while until I caved and ate my favorite foods again and then just kept eating them until I gained the weight back. I'm trying something different this time and incorporating my favorite foods into my daily life. I'm set to lose only .5 lb a week so I have enough calories to not feel hungry all the time. I'm including my favorite foods and dinner out along with healthy foods. I'm am feeling much less deprived this time. I just ate a donut for a snack! Sure I will lose weight slower than if I was stricter, but I'm hoping this time I won't gain it back because it will be a sustainable way to live.

AmyRhubarb

But that's not sustainable!!

And that's always the big problem - been there done that myself.

I realized I had to find a sustainable way to eat, with or without exercise because you never know when life will throw you a curve that prevents you from being able to be as active as you'd like - health, work, etc. That's when I started following the TDEE method. Basically I calculated my BMR and my TDEE, and started eating in between those numbers. Been eating this way for about two years now, lost fat and inches, no plateaus or stalls in progress, and best of all, this is sustainable.

I used the information and tools in this topic: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13 Follow the steps to calculate your own numbers, and depending on your goals and how much you need to lose, take 15-20% from your TDEE. That's your daily goal - eat that much every day, doing your best to hit all your macros as well (carbs/fat/protein).

There's freedom in knowing those boundaries - I know I need to eat a little more than my BMR at the very least (not usually a problem unless I'm sick! ), and as long as I eat less than TDEE, I'll lose, or if I eat all the way to TDEE, I'll maintain. Great for dinners out, vacations, birthdays, holidays - any time there's likely a food event that can put you over your goal for the day - log it all and stay close to that TDEE number and you won't gain.

Best move I ever made was eating this way, and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Good luck!

bcattoes

Thanks so much everyone! I appreciate the input. I, too, ate primal/paleo for a while. I've tried everything actually! I'm hoping i can find something that sticks, but in the meantime, just try my best to make every meal healthy.

That's what I do. Just focus on healthy foods. No prescribed eating plan, just a good balance of protein, fat and carbs. More vegetables, lean meats, fish, beans, olive oil, whole grains, and less fatty meats and overly processed grains and sugars. It helps a lot that I love to cook and enjoy my own cooking.

And exercise. I am a firm believer that it's darn near impossible to age healthily without regular exercise.

ILoveGingerNut

I don't think that all the people of normal weight have an unsustainable diet!
For sustainable balance advice you can find lots of hints online (or in person if you have a chat around!) - your GP will also be able to help if you are absolutely clueless.
Have a look at this
http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/loseweight/Pages/Loseweighthome.aspx

Iwishyouwell

I think the "what works for you" point needs to be stressed so hard. It really comes down to that.

Because weight loss, and even worse, weight loss management, has ABYSMAL odds for sticking.

And this isn't just for people following a "fad" diet, people who lost fast, or any of the other common myths. People who do it the "right" way, eat in moderation, calorie count, exercise, do slow and steady, have just as horrific odds at weight loss and weight loss maintenance as the folks who do it the "wrong" way. Check the studies and the statics, despite all the propaganda that "slow and steady wins the race", no such evidence exists.

So we're all fighting an uphill battle. Finding folks who have maintained substantial weight loss long term is rare, and thank God when you do stumble upon someone who has.

"Sustainability" is so vital, I believe. You have got to maintain some way of eating, and moving, that you can at least visualize doing for decades to come. Just like you're more likely to stick to exercising if you do ones that are enjoyable to you, eating and losing in a way that fees sustainable and doable to you is imperative.

wheird

The biggest realization that I came to was that eating too little and restricting foods was only going to lead to failure. I had lost 45lbs in three months doing this, but as soon as the holidays hit and I took a "break" to enjoy the yummy foods, I completely fell off the wagon and regained most of it back.

I stuck around here and paid attention to the forums, noticing that some people were very intelligent and had found success, despite eating ice cream and pizza! These people advocated moderation rather than restriction, and also pushed heavy lifting as a way to retain lean muscle and recomp your body while gaining strength and confidence.

So I joined a gym and started lifting, discovering a burning passion for it in the process. I started educating myself on the human body, wanting to truly understand why some things worked and others didn't. And in the process, I found that I enjoyed sharing my knowledge with others, hoping that they too could find sustainable success.

sara_alexandra

But that's not sustainable!!

And that's always the big problem - been there done that myself.

I realized I had to find a sustainable way to eat, with or without exercise because you never know when life will throw you a curve that prevents you from being able to be as active as you'd like - health, work, etc. That's when I started following the TDEE method. Basically I calculated my BMR and my TDEE, and started eating in between those numbers. Been eating this way for about two years now, lost fat and inches, no plateaus or stalls in progress, and best of all, this is sustainable.

I used the information and tools in this topic: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13 Follow the steps to calculate your own numbers, and depending on your goals and how much you need to lose, take 15-20% from your TDEE. That's your daily goal - eat that much every day, doing your best to hit all your macros as well (carbs/fat/protein).

There's freedom in knowing those boundaries - I know I need to eat a little more than my BMR at the very least (not usually a problem unless I'm sick! ), and as long as I eat less than TDEE, I'll lose, or if I eat all the way to TDEE, I'll maintain. Great for dinners out, vacations, birthdays, holidays - any time there's likely a food event that can put you over your goal for the day - log it all and stay close to that TDEE number and you won't gain.

Best move I ever made was eating this way, and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Good luck!

I've heard about the TDEE method many times, but never stuck to it long enough to see if it was working. At times, I feel like once I start with eating not so great food choices, i tend to go a little overboard with them. I'm not sure what is going to work for me. My friend who is a registered dietitian recommended that I take a 90/10 approach for now...2-3 meals or items a week that aren't considered nutritious...and see how that works.

I think another part of my problem is that I tend to get anxious, overwhelmed and obsessed with this (part of lovely OCD)! So It's like..magnified for me to feel all over the place with it.

AmyRhubarb

But that's not sustainable!!

And that's always the big problem - been there done that myself.

I realized I had to find a sustainable way to eat, with or without exercise because you never know when life will throw you a curve that prevents you from being able to be as active as you'd like - health, work, etc. That's when I started following the TDEE method. Basically I calculated my BMR and my TDEE, and started eating in between those numbers. Been eating this way for about two years now, lost fat and inches, no plateaus or stalls in progress, and best of all, this is sustainable.

I used the information and tools in this topic: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13 Follow the steps to calculate your own numbers, and depending on your goals and how much you need to lose, take 15-20% from your TDEE. That's your daily goal - eat that much every day, doing your best to hit all your macros as well (carbs/fat/protein).

There's freedom in knowing those boundaries - I know I need to eat a little more than my BMR at the very least (not usually a problem unless I'm sick! ), and as long as I eat less than TDEE, I'll lose, or if I eat all the way to TDEE, I'll maintain. Great for dinners out, vacations, birthdays, holidays - any time there's likely a food event that can put you over your goal for the day - log it all and stay close to that TDEE number and you won't gain.

Best move I ever made was eating this way, and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Good luck!

I've heard about the TDEE method many times, but never stuck to it long enough to see if it was working. At times, I feel like once I start with eating not so great food choices, i tend to go a little overboard with them. I'm not sure what is going to work for me. My friend who is a registered dietitian recommended that I take a 90/10 approach for now...2-3 meals or items a week that aren't considered nutritious...and see how that works.

I think another part of my problem is that I tend to get anxious, overwhelmed and obsessed with this (part of lovely OCD)! So It's like..magnified for me to feel all over the place with it.

Pre-logging food might help with that. I usually eat and log breakfast, then plan dinner and log it as best I can early in the day. This helps me stick to whatever portions I've logged (usually!), and helps me decide what to eat for lunch and snacks, making choices to help me hit the numbers in cals and macros. Sometimes I need to adjust and cut back or make a better choice at lunch or dinner, and sometimes there's room for wine or dessert! Maybe that would help you feel like you had more control over the day.

sara_alexandra

Pre-logging food might help with that. I usually eat and log breakfast, then plan dinner and log it as best I can early in the day. This helps me stick to whatever portions I've logged (usually!), and helps me decide what to eat for lunch and snacks, making choices to help me hit the numbers in cals and macros. Sometimes I need to adjust and cut back or make a better choice at lunch or dinner, and sometimes there's room for wine or dessert! Maybe that would help you feel like you had more control over the day.
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I actually used to do that, and liked it! Maybe I'll try that again. At least for the days where I can really predict it. I need to learn how to stay consistent with things!

WalkingAlong

For a month and a half, I lost 7 lbs eating mostly just the same thing: oatmeal or toast with PB, protein shakes, and lunches consisting of turkey/chicken and veggies. But that's not sustainable!!

Basically, I know that I need to just focus on eating wholesome, good for you foods that will make me FEEL good. I'm sure that eventually my goal weight will come naturally by eating that way. But I also know that calories matter. ITS A VICIOUS CYCLE!

ok i'm done. thanks for reading

1st- Good for you for realizing that restrictive, repetitive eating plan is not sustainable!

2nd- Calories matter but you don't have to count them forever, necessarily, or even while you diet for many. People who raise their protein intake tend to automatically lower their calories. Same with some other things like fiber-rich and water-rich foods (soups, greens, some others). Whole grains may leave you more full than their alternatives. Fork-intensive food like salads can cause you to eat less than say hand-held food like a sandwich that is gone in 1/3 the time. Lots of little things add up. So you can sometimes just focus on making better choices and better habits and the calorie issues takes care of itself without you micromanaging it.

Good luck!

Laura3BB

Sustainability is key.

I'm not finding it painful now I'm in maintenance. But I work more on portion control anyway.

sara_alexandra

For a month and a half, I lost 7 lbs eating mostly just the same thing: oatmeal or toast with PB, protein shakes, and lunches consisting of turkey/chicken and veggies. But that's not sustainable!!

Basically, I know that I need to just focus on eating wholesome, good for you foods that will make me FEEL good. I'm sure that eventually my goal weight will come naturally by eating that way. But I also know that calories matter. ITS A VICIOUS CYCLE!

ok i'm done. thanks for reading

1st- Good for you for realizing that restrictive, repetitive eating plan is not sustainable!

2nd- Calories matter but you don't have to count them forever, necessarily, or even while you diet for many. People who raise their protein intake tend to automatically lower their calories. Same with some other things like fiber-rich and water-rich foods (soups, greens, some others). Whole grains may leave you more full than their alternatives. Fork-intensive food like salads can cause you to eat less than say hand-held food like a sandwich that is gone in 1/3 the time. Lots of little things add up. So you can sometimes just focus on making better choices and better habits and the calorie issues takes care of itself without you micromanaging it.

Good luck!

Those are some great pointers, thank you!

lucylousmummy

you've got to stop looking at this as a diet, start looking at it as a learning curve, you need to eat foods that you like, and are going to be eating forever, otherwise the minute you stop "dieting" and start eating your normal foods, the weight will creep back on
try making a list of all the foods that you like, both good and bad, and try to find a way to fit them in for example.....
for me, my savior was homemade soup, i love soup, i have some really low calorie ones (69 cals mulligatawny) and some really high calorie ones (swiss, ham and potato 577 cals) if i have something high calorie at one meal, i balance it out with a lower calorie soup, this has worked really well
i found if i cut foods out i eventually end up binging on them and for the most part of my diet, i have eaten whatever i fancy
i hope some of this helped and good luck x

Jkn921

The way I approach the whole 'diet' is throwing that 'lose weight now to put it on later' mentality. I despise it. And my family who have been trying to lose weight follow it only to find themselves at the same position a few months later. Anyway, I adopted the mentality 'if I can see myself doing what I am for the next 5 years, I'm on the right track'. It needs to be sustainable and that's how I moulded my journey to become and I find it incredibly easy to eat healthy, maintain my calories and exercise only because I built those habits up myself and not from a fad diet.

chezjuan

In my experience, the number one path to success in losing and maintaining weight is consistency. Once you find a plan that will work for you, you need to stick with it. If you have an "off" day, you can't decide that you blew it and can forget about your plan for another three weeks until you feel bad.

Consistency is the one common denominator that I have seen between all the different "diets" or "lifestyles". Paleo, Vegan, IIFYM, IF, Weight Watchers, Simple calorie counting, and other methods all work, but as soon as someone says "I lost weight, so now I am going to relax and not track. And who needs exercise anymore?" they will be on the path to failure.

I know this seems like a no-brainer, but I know several people who complain they can't lose weight, and it is because they start something, even something sustainable long-term, and then stop paying attention after the first few pounds come off.