Saboteurs
Replies
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My beloved is both my biggest supporter and biggest saboteur! He is totally on board with getting healthy and losing weight and eating and liking (at least not complaining) all the healthy things I fill the fridge with. He is also totally on board if I say I "let's eat an entire pizza, Italian hoagie, and a 12 pack!
that's not a saboteur, it's an enabler. he's not deliberately trying to force you to eat bad stuff, he's just supportive if you want to fall off the wagon.0 -
My Saboteur = Me
I cannot control what others do (nor do I want to) but I can sure control what I do. If I let someone influence me it's my own fault.
I have to keep a wary eye on myself
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Repeat for the rest of the year. For the rest of my LIFE.0 -
I know out of site is not always out of mind especially if you know where the out of site is but....
Give him the Stow it or Throw it rule. Give him a non-see-through storage bin. If he doesn't stow away the offending junk when he is finished. Throw it out..
Note: I know how easy it is to grab a bag of junk found out of the garbage can so, be sure to crush it before the toss.0 -
Note: I know how easy it is to grab a bag of junk found out of the garbage can so, be sure to crush it before the toss.
Seriously?0 -
I know out of site is not always out of mind especially if you know where the out of site is but....
Give him the Stow it or Throw it rule. Give him a non-see-through storage bin. If he doesn't stow away the offending junk when he is finished. Throw it out..
Note: I know how easy it is to grab a bag of junk found out of the garbage can so, be sure to crush it before the toss.
That sounds like a good way to waste money. Why not give him his own shelf for his stuff instead? Everyone gets a shelf and eats what they stock it with. You don't have to buy his stuff and he isn't threatened with the destruction of his own snacks.0 -
When I started losing weight and people told me that I wasn't going to be able to maintain it or stick to a diet, tried to tempt me with food that I didn't want, or made fun of my food choices, it just made me more determined to follow my own path and stick to it. I can't do it? Well, f**k you, just watch me!
Yes, there ARE people who want you to fail. Friends who are heavier than you who become jealous and subconsciously just want you to stay fat like them, insecure significant others who think that if you lose weight you'll either leave them or want them to lose weight too, people who have a million excuses why diet and exercise "just doesn't work" for them and see you as an affront to their defense mechanisms. It's human. It doesn't make them bad people, but that doesn't change the fact that they DO want to see you fail.
With that said, I agree, it is up to the dieter to stay strong and make good choices. We're the ones living inside our bodies and no matter what other people do or say, we're the ones in control. Try to use their negativity to strengthen your resolve. While it would be nice to have everyone supporting and cheering for me, the ones who try to sabotage me probably are more helpful, inadvertently, than those who would like to see me succeed.0 -
right, have one piece or two pieces of pizza. Losing weight should not mean giving up all the foods you enjoy eating; that's why people give up on it. It's not sustainable. Most of those who are successful will tell you they still eat things they like, they just eat less of them.Sobatage doesn't seem like the right word for my example. My family and fiance are always saying " you're beautiful the way you are, now eat some pizza with us."
By doing it that way it makes me feel like I'm being rude and not accepting the compliment by not eating the pizza. They're trying to be nice, but its super unhelpful lol.
I just have to keep my goal in mind!
Okay but my question then becomes why not eat some pizza? If you are within your goals the pizza is yummy...and filling and good for you...you don't have to live on chicken and rice and salad...
Wow people sure are pushy about the way they do things! I find it sustainable and helpful to do an all or nothing type approach. It is working well for me. I'm no quitter. If I'd rather eat green beans than pizza that is my choice. I would rather be proud of my choices at night rather than guilty about them.0 -
right, have one piece or two pieces of pizza. Losing weight should not mean giving up all the foods you enjoy eating; that's why people give up on it. It's not sustainable. Most of those who are successful will tell you they still eat things they like, they just eat less of them.Sobatage doesn't seem like the right word for my example. My family and fiance are always saying " you're beautiful the way you are, now eat some pizza with us."
By doing it that way it makes me feel like I'm being rude and not accepting the compliment by not eating the pizza. They're trying to be nice, but its super unhelpful lol.
I just have to keep my goal in mind!
Okay but my question then becomes why not eat some pizza? If you are within your goals the pizza is yummy...and filling and good for you...you don't have to live on chicken and rice and salad...
Wow people sure are pushy about the way they do things! I find it sustainable and helpful to do an all or nothing type approach. It is working well for me. I'm no quitter. If I'd rather eat green beans than pizza that is my choice. I would rather be proud of my choices at night rather than guilty about them.
I agree.. it's not that i'll never eat another piece of pizza or cake again in my entire life.. but I'm much happier and I feel much better when I opt for chicken or my healthy smoothie or my big salad. And it's not just guilt.. I rarely feel guilty about food choices even when they aren't the best ones.. It's about how I actually feel. And i feel icky when I eat pizza. But if I do.. i don't sit there and feel guilty about it. That's the best way to quit or become discouraged. I just say oh well.. tomorrow is a better day.. because no matter how i would try to justify it pizza does not fit into my goals.. That' being said.. I'm a Jersey girl.. pizza is in my blood, pizza happens.. So when it does.. i'm just going to move on, not feel guilty and do better the next day.
I struggle with drinking. I feel guilty when I have a drink. Because they are basically empty calories and I feel like I'm undermining my workouts. I still have drinks occasionally.. but I usually feel very guilty about it. We all have our demons... Work in progress I guess.0 -
My Saboteur = Me
I cannot control what others do (nor do I want to) but I can sure control what I do. If I let someone influence me it's my own fault.
I have to keep a wary eye on myself
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Repeat for the rest of the year. For the rest of my LIFE.
yup I got myself here I am the only one who will keep myself on track and I don't beat myself up for a bad day here and there0 -
My belief is the only person who can sabotage you is you. There is huge power in the word "no"...seems people forget that when they change their eating habits. All of a sudden it turns into, "Well I would have stayed in calories if not for the cookies my coworker brought," or "My husband bought ice cream, so I had to have some." No one forced you to have that cookie, your husband didn't force you to eat the ice cream.0
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I would agree that I am my own worst enemy. Others will continue to push the decadent and yummy things that I love, but it's up to ME to politely decline. No one is holding me down and shoving cake in my face.0
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I think it's time to use the garbage can. It's only fair when they buy your favorite ice cream. Just throw it out.0
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I like this.Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.
You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?
There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.
And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.
Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.
You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.
Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.
Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
Me too...0 -
I think it's time to use the garbage can. It's only fair when they buy your favorite ice cream. Just throw it out.
NO NO NO never throw out ice cream, that is just WRONG!!!
Ok my husband loves his treats, and he is not trying to lose weight, or whatever. So today I bought him 4 bags of Hershey kisses with caramel (which are one of my favorites as well) is that self sabotage? Or was I just doing something nice because I know he likes them and they were on sale and I'm seriously cheap?
Unless he forces me down and makes me eat them it is NOT sabotage! Might be fun but it is NOT sabotage. Take some responsibility for your own actions. Also for the one jealous of their mother for getting healthier all I will say is WOW...0 -
I think it's time to use the garbage can. It's only fair when they buy your favorite ice cream. Just throw it out.
NO NO NO never throw out ice cream, that is just WRONG!!!
Ok my husband loves his treats, and he is not trying to lose weight, or whatever. So today I bought him 4 bags of Hershey kisses with caramel (which are one of my favorites as well) is that self sabotage? Or was I just doing something nice because I know he likes them and they were on sale and I'm seriously cheap?
Unless he forces me down and makes me eat them it is NOT sabotage! Might be fun but it is NOT sabotage. Take some responsibility for your own actions. Also for the one jealous of their mother for getting healthier all I will say is WOW...
For real...who would throw out perfectly good ice cream?! I have a pint of gelato in my freezer...and it sits there for days until I find room for a serving. This is called self control, knowing there is gelato...and I mean good house-made stuff, not the crappy commericalized junk...and not diving in until I know I can afford it. And even then, only having one serving.0 -
I definitely have a Saboteur in my life :smokin:
I like my _Saboteur_, but otherwise in for being the arrow's path.0 -
Me, myself and I. Sometimes it can be hard to kill those demons inside. :devil: Then again, that would be a lonely existence.
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I have a few, two of my colleagues are constantly pushing cakes and sweets in the office, they're bothslim ladies , yet they're constantly cycling fad diets and seem unable to accept that I just don't want one of their muffins, or a bar of chocolate. They're very aware that I'm trying to shed the pounds, yet for my birthday one of them bought me a 1KG block of cadburys dairy milk. Why?
So folks - who comes to mind for you, and how do you keep yourself on tract despite the temptations.
because it was your birthday and they were being nice???
when it is my birthday at the office, they get food and a cake..I don't go around yelling "saboteurs!" and complaining about it. I have a slice of cake, eat the food, and move on …
Why is it that everyone that is not doing what you are doing is a saboteur????0 -
My beloved is both my biggest supporter and biggest saboteur! He is totally on board with getting healthy and losing weight and eating and liking (at least not complaining) all the healthy things I fill the fridge with. He is also totally on board if I say I "let's eat an entire pizza, Italian hoagie, and a 12 pack!
that's not a saboteur, it's an enabler. he's not deliberately trying to force you to eat bad stuff, he's just supportive if you want to fall off the wagon.
The whole time I was reading this I was thinking "This sounds like enabling, not sabotage".
My family has a history of addictive disorders- drinking, drugs, gambling, and yes, binge eating. I remember as a kid thinking that terrible "too full" feeling was the best feeling ever, because it releases dopamine. I wasn't getting that from opiates at eight years old, but I was totally abusing food and had no idea because that's what everyone around me did. Now the thought of that feeling nauseates me the way the idea of smoking a cigarette, among myriad other activities, nauseates me.
So,
1) There are no saboteurs here, but there are enablers.
2)For some people, not getting the dopamine from eating is physiologically similar to not getting the dopamine from drugs, or gambling, or whatever a person's fix is, and eating isn't illegal or always expensive. Not EVERYONE who is trying to loose weight has this problem, but there is a reason people end up obese or morbidly obese, and it has nothing to do with how good food "tastes".
Do I have people that are enablers? Yes. Some of them are the same people that enable other addictive behaviors in my family. Some of them are just really controlling period, and if they binge on cinnamon buns, they try to pressure my diabetic family members to do the same because 'It's a special occasion!"
I spent all of Christmas telling my brother's wife that my idea of celebrating Christmas or "indulging" doesn't mean overeating and gaining weight and feeling like crap. I think I might have hurt her feelings, but controlling people like that need to be told what's up sometimes; especially since being stressed out by pushy family members is a major eating and alcohol trigger for me in the first place.
Now it's like a matter of pride for me. The bag of popcorn on my lap at the movie theater and the tray of cookies across the room is a testament to my self-control.
So while my particular issues with addiction and enablers are not the same for EVERYONE who is trying to lose weight, it has been INCREDIBLY similar to dealing with other addictions I have had in life, and addictions that I have seen other people in my family deal with.0 -
Good answer Chopper Pilot. I am going to try to remember this when my husband tries to put food in my mouth. He actually pouts if I don't join him in overeating or eating junk food!
is he forcing feeding you??? what the hell0 -
I think it's time to use the garbage can. It's only fair when they buy your favorite ice cream. Just throw it out.
this is a creme that is punishable by ten years in prison..
Really, throw it out? Now there is a healthy approach to food..just throw it out..wow, the stuff you see on threads...0 -
I've actually been guilty of "trying to sabotage" people who were on a mission to lose weight. I didn't do it intentionally, but now that I am on a food awareness mission, I see that I was being that person. The times I am thinking of were when we had office birthday parties for coworkers and we'd have cake. One of my coworkers had lost a lot of weight and he still refused birthday cake at every party, so my coworkers and I would always try to give him the first piece from every cake. We would tell him, "Oh, come on! You look great! You can have ONE piece of cake!" I never personally pushed the issue much. We were all just playing around with him, and he would just smile and say "No thanks".
I know my personal intentions at the time were not to sabotage him, but to reward him for his hard work. Of course, now I know that a "reward" of unplanned cake in the middle of the day is more of a chore than a reward. But I never intended to tempt him away from his carefully planned diet. I was just clueless.0 -
My boyfriend sounds like the OP's husband, able to eat junk food in moderation and then stop, while I'm more of the "all or nothing" kind of gal. I cannot stop at 1/2 cup of ice cream, I cannot eat one cookie, once I have the food (especially sugar) I just eat and eat usually until I get a tummy ache or run out. I'm not sure why I'm so easily controlled by these trigger foods, but I'm working on overcoming this addiction.
My biggest saboteur is my roommate who is himself overweight but insists on buying multiple packs of cookies, muffins, chocolate, chips, you name it, it graces our pantry, counter tops, and fridge. In an attempt to gain control, my boyfriend installed a slide out pantry for him and I to use so that roommate's pantry of junk is his alone and I can instead reach for my healthy foods without muddling through sugary temptations. Roommate has bought another freezer to keep his ice cream stores (which rivals Baskin Robins shops), and there is another fridge outside where I transfer his cakes and other goodies. Out of sight, out of mind.
My mom's house poses another problem with the sheer amount of noms but thankfully my mom doesn't push any of the foods on me like roommate does. While I appreciate his willingness -insistence even- to share, I can't help but feel like "thanks, but no thanks" to his many, delicious but unhealthy offers. Ultimately I know it boils to down to me, making choices that will positively affect my day and my life despite the temptations that are all around, which I'm sure many of you can agree with.0 -
I had one friend (at work) who once she knew I was trying to lose weight, she told me a few times that I shouldn't be counting calories when I was looking at labels or said no thanks to food offers, and said on occasion that " I was no fun anymore". Then she also started pushing food while she didn't do that before. She had a few weeks of bringing cupcakes she baked herself, and always insisted that I should try one (or more). Then she came by with easter eggs a few times, and when I told her no thanks she just put them all on my desk and then left. It stopped after a few weeks when she also started working out herself again and maybe she got used to the idea of me losing weight.
It was quite unpleasant, but I knew it wasn't really anything about her wanting me to fail particularly, I think she was just feeling bad about herself (she is quite fit, but wasn't working out at the time, and probably feeling bad about that).. Of course you choose how to handle these situations, and you choose if you eat something or not. I figured out after a while that it was easiest to accept the cupcakes, telling her I would try them later, which I brought home and gave them away or I split them for dessert if I had room. The easter eggs I put in the work cookie jar... etc.0
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