When is enough, enough?

jbpretty

So I set a weight loss goal and I've achieved it. I had no idea what my body would look like when I reached it (I haven't been this thin since maybe junior high) and to be honest, I'm not happy with the loss. I figure if I lose another 10 pound that might help. I think maybe my trouble spots are going to be the last to lose weight. I know I need to get to lifting some weights, but unless I buy some that's just not going to happen.

I guess what I'm getting to is... When did you decide you'd lost enough weight? What clinched it for you?

jwdieter

I set a body fat target. When it looked like I was there, I got hydro testing to confirm. Then I modified goals to build.

Iwishyouwell

I grew up fat. When I got to my smallest weight back in my early 20s, I was shocked to find out that even at my idealized weight, I still had plenty of fat left to lose. I grew up just assuming I was a "big" guy and that the lowest weight I hit should have been enough for my goal look. It wasn't, even though I was technically no longer overweight.

Many, many people, especially the formerly overweight and obese, overestimate their body fat levels. They think because they hit the smallest weight they've ever been on a scale, it has some significance to visual appearance. That's often not the case. I know now, having been down before, that my goal weight range is SO much smaller than I ever thought before. Also that while I looked good enough (with my clothes on) as a "big" guy, I'm actually not at all. I'm built more like my dad in his youth, who wore a size 32, and this was back in the 50s-70s when clothes were cut more true to size.

When's enough enough? When the man staring back at me in the mirror matches the man in my mind.

SezxyStef

I am sort of in the same boat...I hit my goal weight..(smallest I have been since my son was born) @ 165...I wasn't happy so I set another 10lbs which will put me at my smallest since I "grew up"...

I really tho am not to concerned after that...when I hit 150-155 I will work my calorie up slowly...continue lifting and try to lose what fat is left (based on BF%) I have a view in my head as well but I know I will get there by lifting, eating enough and getting that recomp I want...

Boogage

If body recomp is what you want then I think you're going to have to find something to lift. Doesn't have to be actual weights, just heavy things.

I really realised enough was enough today when I was trying on the smallest clothes in the shop and finding that they were too big. Its going to be a real pain in the bum if I become as limited in my clothing choices as I was when I was bigger! I still have trouble spots-my inner thighs and my tummy overhang but I can't lose anymore weight and be healthy as I'm actually a couple of pounds underweight right now. My plan is to bulk and recomp although my body comp does seem to have changed on its own over the last month even though I wasn't exercising and was eating at maintenance so I'm finding this part of my journey quite interesting.

jbpretty

Oh wow! The smallest size was too big? Just wow.

Iwishyouwell, I think you hit the nail on the head. I always thought I was just built big. For years I believed I would never reach anything close to where I'm at. YEARS. Oh how wrong I was. It's really an exciting time mixed with a little disappointment.

I know my body looks much better when I eat clean, so I guess that's a good place to start (again). I will figure out the weight/exercise problem.

Maybe it shouldn't be about the scale at this point... I just want to look like I think I should. I've worked too hard and I'm not going to settle.

Iwishyouwell

Maybe it shouldn't be about the scale at this point... I just want to look like I think I should. I've worked too hard and I'm not going to settle.

You're speaking my language. I went years without weighing but when I started to lose again I picked up the scale. I got way too tied into it, even weighing myself several times a day. I said hell no to this, put the scale away back in August (well asked my wife to hide it), and haven't stepped on it sense. I'm going by the mirror and two pairs of jeans I had back in the day to estimate progress. Decided not to step on the scale again until my lowest size jeans are loose. Then I'll know for sure I'm in the final stages. I estimate I've lost another 40-50 lbs since the last time I weighed. It's going to be a huge, welcome surprise when I step on the scale again.

I will never settle.

AmyRhubarb

I got to goal weight, I realized it was more about body fat percentage rather than weight. I'm happy with the changes in my body so far, but am still carrying fat in a few areas. I don't want to lose any more weight or drop a size, but I want to lose the fat. So my focus shifted to lowering body fat percentage and keeping lean muscle.

I've had my best results with this by eating a small calorie deficit, doing strength training with weights, and making sure I'm getting plenty of protein (and fat and carbs). The process slows as you get closer to goal, but it's worth it. It's an ongoing process, and I look at it as continual improvement for the rest of my life! :bigsmile:

Francl27

I hit my first goal and I'm still not happy, so I'm losing more. BUT... I honestly don't think that 9 more lbs will make me happy either. But I realize that my maintenance calories will be lower already... and at some point enough is enough... I don't really want to starve myself just to lose that small roll of fat. So I've decided that I will stop when I lose those 9 lbs, and I'm not driving myself nuts going there either... If I go over my goal by a bit, I'm not going to sweat it. I'm still under my TDEE. I'm healthy. It's what matters. I'll get there when I get there. With all the stretch marks and loose skin it's not like I'll ever get the body I want anyway.

cici1028

Yep, body fat target . It will encourage your fitness regime. Weight doesn't say much... nor does clothing size. Too variable!

wendybird5

Yep, body fat target . It will encourage your fitness regime. Weight doesn't say much... nor does clothing size. Too variable!

Ditto here. Found out what my body composition was (lean muscle versus fat) and am aiming for a body fat percentage of 20-25%. Whatever my weight or size is doesn't matter as long as my body fat percentage is in the healthy range.

bcattoes

I guess what I'm getting to is... When did you decide you'd lost enough weight? What clinched it for you?

For me, it's when I feel good, look good (to me), and I feel like I'm eating and working out at a level I can live with long term (or at least until Christmas, when I know I'll blow it)

I know I need to get to lifting some weights, but unless I buy some that's just not going to happen.

You don't need weights to do strength training. Bodyweight exercises will do. Pushups, tricep dips, squats, crunches, planks, leg lifts, bicycles, lunges, bridges, etc. There are many good bodyweight routines avaiable online for free.

You can add weight to lower body exercises by wearing a backup with heavy stuff from around the house (books, bottles or cans, etc.). You can lift jugs of water or milk.

iplayoutside19

I know I need to get to lifting some weights, but unless I buy some that's just not going to happen.

Look at sites like Craigs list, or a buy-sell-trade group on Facebook. I pieced together quite a bit of weight lifting equipment, and was even looking into building my own squat rack...and then we moved, paid off a loan, and I have a Y Membership now. Really the money I don't spend on cable goes to that. But, I lost the majority of my weight without a gym membership with equipment I bought for pennies or was just given away.

bambishealth

Honestly, in 2004 I lost over 100 lbs. It was not the # on the scale that told me when I was done. It was when I felt so beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that told me I was good. I didn't even weigh myself. I'm now trying to lose 90 lbs again after having 3 more gorgeous baby boys. I will use that same feeling to gauge when I am done.

jbpretty

Well I definitely do not feel beautiful yet. Maybe as mentioned, I will never be happy. I have a lot of stretch marks, which don't bother me, it's the loose skin. Freak!

Yes, I will start with body-weight exercises and definitely work on my body fat percentage. I know that's higher than it should be.

gigglesinthesun

Loving yourself and acceptance of your body doesn't come automatically when you lose weight. I am not saying that losing 10lbs more is bad or that lifting weights isn't good, I am just saying that perhaps it would also be of use to look at yourself in the mirror and start focusing of what is great about you :flowerforyou:

cafeaulait7

I have an old pair of jeans that is a nice happy medium among the weights I used to be. It's like 'thick' and slightly curvy nice and allows me to eat an amount I like each day. When those fit great, I should be good.

I can get thinner, but my problem spot (lower belly) sticks around until I get plain scrawny with no boobs -- and I can't eat as much. No, not worth it.

I do want to see how far it shrinks while it's shrinking (and nothing else is right now -- yay!). That looks to be 5 lbs maybe? So hard to tell, but when my other measurements start changing more instead of my tummy then I know I'm on the frustrating road to too skinny (for me) with the belly hanging in there, lol. I'm just not doing that again. I'll wear slightly high-waisted bikini bottoms and the problem is solved My ex loved my 'tiny Buddha belly' anyway, so pfffft. I don't have to hate it.

JourneyingJessica

I stalked your profile. You look amazing. Great job!!

A few things come to mind.

1. Do you think your mind hasn't caught up to the loss yet? It can take 12 weeks for your brain to catch up after maintenance starts.

2. Maybe its finding the right strength training at this point. Weight loss shrinks your body, building strength changes the shape.

jbpretty

Thanks JouneyingJes!

I guess I just thought when I lost weight, I'd be happy. Not that I'm terribly unhappy. Maybe I'm hoping to be happy if I lose ten more pounds. I suspect however (after reading your replies) that it's not losing the weight that's going to make me happy...

I do still need to do some toning and shaping. I need to get tighter, if that makes sense.

ForTheLoveOfCheese

I'm in the same boat; I weighed 71 kilos, and decided I wanted to get down just below 70; to 68. After a while, I did, but that wasn't good enough. So I reset my goal to 65 kilos. I've reached that, too, and now I want to get to 63. However, as I approach that (albeit very slowly and inconsistently), all I'm thinking is that I could try for 60....

Got a bit of BDD goin' on, which makes going by the mirror/clothes fit a little difficult, so weighing myself, though I know it has so many variables, is the only 'truthful' indication for me that I'm doing something right.

Oh, just for the record, I'm 175cm tall (I think that's around 5'7 or 5'8?)

alisonlynn1976

I'm not willing to go below normal BMI, so that will have to be enough. If I get there and am not happy with the results, I will focus on gaining muscle. (And lest someone taunt me about "SKINNYFAT," yes, I am doing weight training now.)

bbvsusan

I'm a big fan of sumptuous.com. She has workouts for people who don't have weight sets … and she's funny!

MizMouRin

Sadly, I never found that point where I could contently say "enough, I am happy with where I am now". My weight has fluctuated UP & DOWN for years (based on my own nutrition decisions, yo-yoing), but even at my lowest weight, about 115 lbs 2 years ago, I was not completely happy with myself... I know that doesn't really help you at all ..BUT, now, at 150 lbs, when I see pictures of myself at my thinnist, I think "WOW! I looked so good. Y didn't I appreciate having that body when I did?" (Even though secretly I know that if I did now, I would STILL try to improve it)... For me, I couldn't find that finish/maintanence line because no matter how much weight I lost, I was not content with my BODY. I will never have the body shape/type that I desire, but now I have come to terms with that & my goal is to be the best that 'I' can be ( equal to or better than that of which I want. Lol, j/k) .. I guess what I'm trying to say is, 'enough' is a tough line to draw. You have truly come a long way in your weightloss journey and your body looks amazing. If you are happy with yourself now and healthy, maybe just maintain where you are and & see how you feel.

2013sk

Honestly, in 2004 I lost over 100 lbs. It was not the # on the scale that told me when I was done. It was when I felt so beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that told me I was good. I didn't even weigh myself. I'm now trying to lose 90 lbs again after having 3 more gorgeous baby boys. I will use that same feeling to gauge when I am done.

Wow that's amazing - Well done!

SezxyStef

Thanks JouneyingJes!

I guess I just thought when I lost weight, I'd be happy. Not that I'm terribly unhappy. Maybe I'm hoping to be happy if I lose ten more pounds. I suspect however (after reading your replies) that it's not losing the weight that's going to make me happy...

I do still need to do some toning and shaping. I need to get tighter, if that makes sense.

My sister came to same realization when she saw the changes in my body but not weight.

I lost a tonne of inches doing circut training which was a Jillian Michaels DVD...30Day shred....so my sister bought it, loved it...bought ripped in 30 and extreme shed and shred....she doesn't follow the meal plan but you should see her now...

venus belt popping through, abs of steel, definition in her thighs and arms...she looks amazing...is 5 ft 4, floats between 125-128lbs and can do real honest to god pushups...she is very happy with her "look"...oh btw she is 43 and a mom....her son is 9.

arrseegee

Honestly, in 2004 I lost over 100 lbs. It was not the # on the scale that told me when I was done. It was when I felt so beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that told me I was good. I didn't even weigh myself. I'm now trying to lose 90 lbs again after having 3 more gorgeous baby boys. I will use that same feeling to gauge when I am done.

Wow that's amazing - Well done!

Agreed! Great to read.

jbpretty

My family tells me that what I have left is probably just skin that I won't be able to get rid of. I think they're wrong. I will just have to work harder and eat cleaner.

I guess the reason I asked the question in the beginning because I am afraid that I will never reach my goal because my goal keeps changing. I was getting discouraged. All of this talk has helped me though... I guess it's time to get to exercising! Plus I may need to change my thoughts of what is actually possible.

twixlepennie

I made my original goal weight based on what I weighed on my wedding day. I remember being comfortable in my skin at that time (and I wore a size 6 wedding dress, which I remember feeling really good about lol). What I didn't take into consideration was that 11 years had since passed and I have also had three kids in that time. I definitely looked different on the day I hit my goal weight vs. my wedding day :grumble:

So I decided to keep working on weight loss and have since dropped almost 20lbs more, before calling final goal a few months ago. I never set a second goal weight and just decided to keep losing until I looked in the mirror and said 'ok, this is it.' That time came when I hit a little over 120lbs, but I actually continued to lose a few more pounds as I transitioned into maintenance/got my weight to stabilize. I love where I am now and I'm really glad I kept at it and lost a bit more weight. For me it made a big difference

Rage_Phish

stop worrying about losing WEIGHT, and start concentrating on lowering your body fat %

lavaughan69

Honestly, in 2004 I lost over 100 lbs. It was not the # on the scale that told me when I was done. It was when I felt so beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt that told me I was good. I didn't even weigh myself. I'm now trying to lose 90 lbs again after having 3 more gorgeous baby boys. I will use that same feeling to gauge when I am done.

See now, I'm really happy when I see myself in jeans and tee...in fact if I could avoid seeing myself naked I'd probably say I was done. Unfortunately it's what I see without clothes that made me adjust my goal and now I'm only 5 or 6 lbs away from the new goal and I suspect I might not like naked me even at that weight.