Help, obese and anorexic at the same time.

kmjoctober

I've been struggling with my weight since high school (8 years ago)

I got up to 315 lbs and started working my *kitten* off at the gym. It took me 2 years, but I lost 80 lbs. I got down to 230 lbs and hit a plateau! I stayed at 230-240 up and down for all of 2012.
In 2013 I started gaining again. My weight crept back up to 275, then 285.

Now as of today, I am 258 lbs.

I'm "morbidly obese" according to my doctor.

But I am also anorexic. I was anorexic as a child, then blew up in high school.

My fiancee was killed October 4th, 2013, and because of this I have sunk into a deep depression. And a side effect is that I don't eat. When I do eat, it's junk food. For example today I have had nothing but a snack pack of doritos. Yesterday I had nothing but coffee, soda, and some cheese toast.

I have NO appetite... I've been logging MFP on my kindle every day. I only eat a couple times a day but what I do eat is just complete junk.

Do any of you have any suggestions???

SezxyStef

get professional help for your depression and ED.

Having no appetite <>no hunger.

kitsune1989

I also suggest professional help. Being in the throws of an eating disorder is very hard and climbing out can be even harder especially after a tragedy occurs. I am a recovering bulimic and I can honestly say I wish you the best of luck.

kmjoctober

I have been going to counseling every week since it happened. I am not suicidal anymore... I don't cry anymore.. I'm not self harming as much.

But I just can't eat..

For the first seven days after it happened I didn't eat a single bite of food.. after that I began nibbling.

Then I began drinking 2 pots of coffee a day so I don't have to sleep so I don't have to dream...

*ugh*