How To Get Back On Track After Losing Your Mom

Ladina1990

Okay I haven't been on here in a long while, I will try my hardest to keep this story short and sweet but it does break my heart even typing these words. On October 30, 2013 I lost my best friend,my supporter,my hero and my confidant....I lost my mom. Let me rewind to June of 2013 i weighed 205 lbs and decided to get my life together so I started to work out, every day I would call my mom and tell her how much weight I lost( 25 pounds , now losing weight has never been super easy for me so she was very supportive so now that I have lost her, I feel lost myself. Ever since I haven't really stuck to a work out for more then 2 days, I feel like a failure. I have even tried juicing (LOVE IT) but can't really stay with that either. I hope there is someone out there that can relate to me. I need some help and motivation to get back on track. People keep telling me that its just cause I'm mourning her but I don't want to continue to be this weight. I jumped right back up to 190 pounds and it feels like I am drowning and can't get to the surface. Someone Please Help.

Siennacita

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mom. My mother is also my best friend and supporter as well, and I cannot imagine how devastating it would be to lose her.
I joined this site right after the death of a cousin that I was fairly close to. She was far too young to pass away, but she had an early onset of a very aggressive cancer and was taken far too early. I think for me, it just made me realize that life is precious, and you never know when your time on this earth will end. I'd been struggling with my weight for years and hadn't been able to make much progress, but then I thought, I want to enjoy my life to the fullest and not take my time for granted. For me, that meant being able to do all of the things that my weight sometimes held me back from: riding a bike, going for a hike or trying a yoga class.

I found that I tried to use the good memories I had of my loved one as my strength - and I keep thinking that I want to make her proud of me - since I'm sure she's still with me somehow.

I don't know if any of this resonates with you - I realize it's not the same as losing one's mother - but I hope it helps a little.

jhmomofmany

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage and then lost my dad within two weeks, that was July 2012 and sometimes it just is still painful. Your loss is still very recent and still raw. Maybe don't think about the weight for now, just take care and "find" yourself. I believe your mother is with you in spirit, that she lives on in the memories and love you have for her. You are her legacy. I truly hope you find peace.

spuds345

Oh Ladina, I can feel your pain & sorrow from here and I can honestly say .. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Mum to breast cancer almost 5 years ago.

This much I know, you will never stop missing her but the days will get easier, over time you will start to find peace & even joy (yes joy) in knowing that she is still with you every single step of the way. Trust me, you will find new ways to talk to her, to celebrate her and to incorporate her into your daily life.

I know it feels like you are drowning in grief but just take a deep breath and I hope you will find that you are actually 'treading water' and not sinking.

No one can tell you how to find your out of this maze of grief - but trust me, you will find your way.

Your way Ladina because it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - this is your grief and everyone grieves, remembers & moves forward in their own way & time. There is no right or wrong way!

I consider my seemingly endless grief for my Mum as her last gift to me because through it I found me, a new me! A me my mother would be very proud of.

Call me crazy but I still have (and always will) my Mum's old bowling ball sitting on the coffee table in my living room and I talk to it all the time - for me, it represents my Mum. And, I write her letters all the time. (they are saved in an old cigar box so I can reread them ... as needed).

It might not feel like it just yet but you are already back on track Ladina just by coming back here and reaching out.

Perhaps you come back because your heart knows how proud your Mum would be knowing that in her passing you found the strength & courage to keep moving forward and that it didn't break you.

You don't need to run a marathon next week, but maybe you will next year - in your Mum's name - to celebrate her life, her courage and to show her that she is still your biggest fan!

I wish I could promise you that the pain goes away, it doesn't but it does get little easier every day.

Just breath and take the next step, for your Mum

Reagan89

Hiya 4 years ago I lost both my mother and Grandmother to cancer (within 7 months of each other) when my boyfriend was diagnosed it hit my like a train we never expected it he had no family history with the disease and was very healthy but cancer is a very unpredictable disease. I let it all get on top of me and the weight came quick his treatment thankfully finished after 7 months and he is now in remission I however was over 2 stone heavier.
I'm hoping all this can become a positive thing and I can help raise money for our local unit as a memory for them both, but sometimes just staying positive is the hardest thing. Just remember they never leave unless you let them keep their strength with you and they are always by your side. xx

Ladina1990

Thank you so much for your advice, i literally almost started to cry. I will take some time for myself and to mourn my mom but i hope soon i hop back on the workout train and keep going

Drake1021

Wow, when I read your post, it explained me to a tee. I just recently lost my mom who was not only my mother, but my best friend this past December 2013. The pain is so unexplainable that I feel like I can't dig myself out of this sadness. I lost over 80 lbs a couple of years ago and my mom was such a motivator and now that she's gone, I feel the weight creeping its way back on me. I wish I knew what the magic trick is to get back on track after dealing with a loss this significant. When you find it, please let me know! :-) I know it seems there are no words to comfort your broken heart, I like to think our mother's are still here with us as beautiful angels watching over and not wanting to see us self destruct or have so much sadness within us.