Looking for strength and perspective

kmalacho

Today I got on the scale and lost a pound. I've been eating well since I began my diet right after Christmas. At home, I have no problem cooking healthy meals and sticking to my calorie limit. However, I struggle with controlling my eating at parties. Today we attended such a party, with a food table filled with brownies, pulled pork wraps, crescent rolls, boneless chicken wings, tortilla chips and various dips, etc. I ate a healthy lunch before we left and brought sparkling water with me. After 2 hours of restraint, I felt my will crumble and I ate one boneless wing, a small brownie, two tortilla chips, and shared a bit of the pork with my husband. According to MFP, it added about 400 calories to my day, pushing me over my limit by 300 calories.

I'm looking for some perspective. I am proud that this week's diligence led to a one pound weight loss. I'm proud that I was able to only eat 300 calories of junk food, where before I would have had 2-3 brownies, 3-4 wings, a whole pork wrap, 2 handfuls of chips, and probably a beer to wash it down. I still can't help feeling disappointed that I wasn't able to stay within my daily goal and troubled by my overwhelming desire to binge - a feeling that didn't disappear until several hours later, after we'd left the party and watched a movie at home. This feeling of anxiety makes these parties difficult to enjoy after I'm bored of sparkling water and I see everyone else enjoying the delicious food. How do you put these occasions into perspective? Are you proud of a success even if it could also be considered a failure? How do you control your desire to binge and the anxiety that comes with it?

wyattj99

Find a night for a cheat meal. I lost close to 60 lbs doing this, if not you can fail. You have to learn self control and it will come in time. I used to do the same thing but had to learn to control myself and it takes time. I'll send a friend request to you too for support or if you want to ask questions.

nxd10

Weekly goals are important too. You can't hit your exact number every day. Some days you'll be over. Some you'll be under. I love on the phone app that it gives you a running average for the week on the net calorie graph. THAT's what you always want to hit the mark on.

100 calories under for the next three days and you'll be fine.

And my deep dark secret: I go over a couple hundred calories around once a month. And every d**** time I do, my scale goes down the next day. It makes no sense at all, but it is true.

kagevf

The Weekends - its that time we gather with our Families and Friends, either eating out or celebrating an occasion. Its also the time we can eat anything in moderation, even if you go over your calorie allotment, as long as you created that buffer. Eating 100-500 calories deficit 5x/week with an intense workout creates that buffer for an awesome feast. There are no worries, no guilt, no damage control. Just have fun and enjoy that treat. You deserve it !!!

I posted this on my wall today.

emboslice94

Don't worry about it .

I always stressed about social gatherings, then I stopped. I chose to eat just a bit of everything (which is actually polite especially if its a pot luck or something), and stuck to water or just ONE drink. But never did I log it, because I knew that that would make me feel bad. Instead, I would be happy for my self control of having one brownie, not five, and a handful of chips instead of an entire bag. Then the next day, I'd be right back to my regular routine and the only thing I'd be thinking about was how much fun the night before was, and how I can take so and so's awesome recipe and make it "healthified" by my standards .

One bad meal won't ruin anything. Enjoy the food and time with your friends and family, so long as it's not happening everyday, let yourself enjoy it . You did awesome sticking to your regular food for 99% of the time, don't let that 1% be a reward, but don't let it necessarily be a punishment either. You're doing great!

Also, just a note, if there is food you know you have no control with, don't touch it! Mine is chips, I avoid them at all costs, I'm not even a huge fan of them, I just know one handful won't suffice. But otherwise, if you think you can handle a portion of different things, then do it . Food can be so awesome don't miss out on it!

Skarlet13

Don't worry too much about it.

Personally, I would have not eaten before the party. At the party I would have eaten, but in moderation.

bwogilvie

I don't know what your weekly weight loss goal is, but look at it this way:

If you set MFP to lose 1 lb. each week, that equals a daily deficit of 500 calories. Today you ate 400 over your goal. If your goal is 1 lb./week, you still ate less than you need to maintain your weight. You're still losing, just slower than if you had met your goal. Today, I went about 300 calories over my goal (hey, it's the weekend), but I'm still under maintenance.

Furthermore, as others have said, you need to look at the long run. If I know I am going to be at a party, or going out to a restaurant, I factor that in earlier in the week. I ate a couple hundred calories under goal on Tuesday and Wednesday so I could have a bit more on Friday and Saturday. As long as things balance out in the long run, a couple days each week over your goal won't be a problem.

That said, you asked about how to control yourself at parties with buffets or freely available food. My approach is to take a plate, fill it with the food that fits my plan for the day, and then stop with that. Don't take anything else. Eat what you have as slowly as possible. When you finish, put the plate aside and don't take another. Drinking large glasses of water can help - not just after the food is gone, but while eating. I'm also a big fan of filling up on any vegetables available. If you finish what you decided you should eat, and you are tempted by more food, ask yourself this question: when I wake up tomorrow morning and think about what I did tonight, would I be happier to know that I ate this food or that I skipped it?

kmalacho

Thanks everyone. You're right about cheat days and balancing over the whole week. I try to be perfect each day, and I am very hard on myself when I can't be. But I'm in it for the lifestyle change, so I'm sure that minding my eating at parties will get easier with more practice.

krw1989

It really does take practice. I am a teacher, and the holidays were KILLER for me this year! We had student parties, staff parties, countywide parties, etc., and that was on top of all the personal parties I was attending with family and friends!

I still enjoyed the parties and ate, but I kept it in moderation. I also went for the healthier stuff and tried to busy my mind with talking with friends and/or colleagues instead of all of the delicious cake and soda sitting on the table about 20 feet from me...

I still lost weight through the holidays, and I was still able to enjoy the parties. Don't stress out too much! You'll get better at it with time.

henllan

Hi, I am at the beginning just like you and know that this has been the umpteenth time I've began this journey I am starting slow, I didn't get this way and make these habits over night and it isn't going to change over night. I also started in January and am trying to focus on my small victories vs. My defeats, if my husband has a glass of wine I consider it a victory that I say no, or if someone brings in a birthday cake at work I concerder it a victory that I have a tiny piece and one eat half. See what you have done as a victory! That you are slowly changing your habits and moving towards a healthier you!!