Broke up

julia23

My boyfriend of 4 years and i just broke up and i'm stupidly distraught and need advice.
Do i eat a load of chocolate and curl up with films ?
Or fruit and do the whole, get sexy and look good ?
Hope everyones well.

MrsSki

Oh... that's too bad. I'm so sorry. For now, I would do the comfort route, eat a little chocolate and curl up with some chick flicks. Then in a few days you can get started on the get sexy and look good plan. Again, I'm terribly sorry.

rfialkiewicz

Cha. That's terrible news, but I agree, do both. First chocolate, then sexy. Always in that order.

kriegs86

While it may not feel like it at the moment, this is the time to take control of your life! Focus on living for yourself. Eat well, exercise when you want to cry and you’ll feel so much better than if you gave into the chocolate craving. Exercising releases hormones that improve your mood. And looking sexy and feeling great is always awesome ;-)

DancingDreamer

oh i'm sooo sorry that sucks :c but like everyone else has said, you need a mourning period, chocolate and ice cream and chick flicks are practically a necessity in this type of situation, then after you've gotten over that. get yourself looking HAWT!

and by morning period i mean like a day or two, its ok to have an off day every once and a while, esp. when something crappy like this happens.

BlueEyedMomma88

Awww hunny, thats no fun.. Im sooo sorry :-(.. I agree with the above posters, u should take time for urself with chocolate and chick flicks and then when u get to feeling better go the sexy route.. Goodluck hun, and may god be with u thru this rough time..

bbygrl5

I'm so sorry. It's never easy. IMO, you definitely need to not care about your fitness AT ALL for a few days. ...That being said, make sure to get back on track quickly or it will become too easy to permanently fall into this routine. I suggest you set a deadline for yourself to get back on track and while you're taking care of your emotional self over the next few days, have no guilt. Best of luck.

Mindful_Trent

The break-up of a 3-year relationship is what prompted me to join MFP and start losing weight. After the breakup, I realized I'd gotten way too comfortable in the relationship and I really wasn't happy with who I was/what i looked like. Think of it as a chance for you to address some of the issues in your life that you haven't had time/effort to address - it's time for some quality "You" time! Some chocolate and moping is okay at first - it's natural to need to grieve and it's important to let yourself acknowledge the feelings you're experiencing, but once you've done so, it's time to pick yourself up and move on!

Shannondstowe

So sorry to hear that it's always hard no matter how good or bad it was. Although I love the chocolate, I would probably have one of the small size ben & jerrys cherry garcia( my best friend in times like those), but I would then walk or bike ride, something that I can do to clear my head, I'm lucky I live in a beautiful part of the country so I get the added benefit of enjoying nature....at the same time excercising gives you those happy endorphins which really does help to get past the first few mopey days and the added benefit of looking sexier and finding that perfect person that is meant to be with you. Good luck to you.

GeeGirl

Sorry to heat that. Seriously sucks. Eat fruit, get the sexy drop dead gorgeous look and make him regret it. Best of luck to you.

tierra85

I know exactly how you feel!! Exercise and eat healthy. Eating healthy will help you feel better and exercise will take up time. If you think about him change your thought right away. You'll find someone better!! Don't forget time heals everything and looking great is the best revenge. He'll eat his heart out

Amber030583

Rent a chick flick grab a container of ben & jerrys then after the movie work out because you will be soo pissed off that your ex wasn't as sweet as the guy in the movie. hehehe

Get your sexy back!

pragya728

Sorry that you're going through a tough time. I say do both of the above and also go out and have some fun with your girl friends. I think that's always good.

PixieGoddess

The break-up of a 3-year relationship is what prompted me to join MFP and start losing weight. After the breakup, I realized I'd gotten way too comfortable in the relationship and I really wasn't happy with who I was/what i looked like. Think of it as a chance for you to address some of the issues in your life that you haven't had time/effort to address - it's time for some quality "You" time! Some chocolate and moping is okay at first - it's natural to need to grieve and it's important to let yourself acknowledge the feelings you're experiencing, but once you've done so, it's time to pick yourself up and move on!

Ditto! About 2 years ago, I got dumped less than 2 months from our 1-year anniversary (that was the longest relationship I'd ever been in, at the time) and it really made me look at myself. I was the heaviest I've EVER been, and I didn't feel sexy or attractive or anything. I joined MFP within the next couple weeks, and I'm loving my life now! Not only am I 22lbs lighter and 2miles fitter, I have celebrated my 1-year anniversary with a wonderful man who deserves a fox like me!

Mourn! I did, and it helps and is necessary. Enjoy the comfort food, bad movies, and getting lots of love and attention from your friends. Then, when you're ready, get back on the wagon and tear it up! :happy: Good luck with your journey.

PS, I was also pole-dancing at the time, and it is a GREAT way to let out your emotions and spend quality time with wonderful women!

Kevster75

Julia,

I'm sorry you're feeling the crushing numbness and confusion... but you will get through it.

You have 2 choices;
1] The Deepend - Accept it's over and there's no going back and in order to move on you need to remove anything that connects you with him... so *everything* of his or shared gets destroyed or put in a box out of sight... Emails/SMS/Letters get deleted.
Remove him from your phone(s)... Stop going to places you shared together and get yourself into your NEW life asap.
** Ruthless but it works!!

2] The shallow end - Concentrate on trying to stay cool about things and realise that you've probably broken up for a reason, and that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you at all and that just by being you, you will move on and meet someone else and all that matters right now is getting good, regular sleep - that should be your primary mission...
You can take your time dealing with everything as and when you feel you have the emotional energy for it - this is why the sleep is crucial..
** I did this and it's taken around 18 months to get over a 5 year relationship!!

I don't think you should be hard on yourself, in anyway shape or form - but try not to let things that are treats become your staple diet - you will gain massively which will just add to the hurt!
Right now, there's nothing wrong with a few days of chocolate/wine/pizza/cake - whatever..
You could also deal with the anxiety/confusion/frustration, but busting out a couple of real sweat sessions a week..

There's no 'right' or 'wrong' in this game we call life, just do what is right for you.

You're gonna be okay Julia... *Squeeze*
Hope this helps
:flowerforyou:
Kev

dstacky

sorry to hear that julia, hope you get thru this tough time both mentally and food-wise, if i were you i probably wouldnt eat chocolate, but maybe some low fat ice cream might help? its pretty comforting and low in fat, we have low fat-sugar free ice cream here, that would be the best in my oppinion if i was feeling down

xo

julia23

Thank you everyone for you're thoughtful replies.
Every time i take my eyes of the tele or computer i cry and now it's sleep time and i have insomnia so it's going to be a fun night...
Going to try get out tomorrow get my nails done and buy myself some nice flowers.
Seeing him tomorrow for a family 18th so going to look the best i can and play it cool going to be weird not saying hi and leaning in for a kiss.

Hope everyones okay, all my love and thank you so much again. Keep you posted.

ktbug1186

bump!!