irrelevant of weight loss

jmzz1

Hey ya guys , I need some support or advise or inspirational quotes or something that can help me overcome my depression.

I do not have any job and have been hunting for it for 6 years and an not able to find one till date. I find it really difficult to break into the software field since I am an computer engineer . Now my scenario is such that no company is interested in hiring me since they want an experience certificate. From where can I get one when I don't have one.
The city in which i live do not have any volunteers job tooooo.

Really depressed due to which my weight loss is stalled.
How can I get out of this ? Do not have that much of money where I can shift to other cities and hunt for a job.

How do I find a job with this much gap in my career????

meshashesha2012

Maybe it's time to change career path? I work close to silicon valley and I can tell you that the market is glutted with computer engineers. If you want to continue on that path then look for online courses or something to help you get your certificates.

But honestly if it's taking you 6 years and you see yourself becoming more and more obsolete in that field, it's probably easier to reinvent your career. It's there anything else you like doing or have experience in?

jmzz1

Maybe it's time to change career path? I work close to silicon valley and I can tell you that the market is glutted with computer engineers. If you want to continue on that path then look for online courses or something to help you get your certificates.

But honestly if it's taking you 6 years and you see yourself becoming more and more obsolete in that field, it's probably easier to reinvent your career. It's there anything else you like doing or have experience in?

I don't have experience in any field.? I simply sit in front of the computer day n night and hunt for jobs.
At present I am so much depressed that I do not have any option in front of me.
I tried my hand in call centre, teaching jobs but alas no success

TXEXrunner

Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with mesha that perhaps a new career path is what you need. Not sure if your the religious type, but a local church may have a career counseling service that could help you out (if you haven't tried that). Also they will likely have volunteer opportunities to help occupy your time and perhaps help you find other activities that interest you and may hold job prospects. Your profile pic I admire as it shows you are driven when you have a goal. That is a great sign!

Broaden your horizons - look for activities that appeal to other interests in your life. See what is in your area that is low/ no cost that allows you to participate in something that interests you (even if it is just watching for now). Try and develop contacts and network in these outings/ exchanges.

Consider also that your next steps are only a short diversion from something else that you will find later this year. Get something to get you out of the house and earning an income. let that be the basis of a new routine that also involves getting back to a diet and exercise plan you can embrace.

Good luck, stay strong and flexible, and keep us posted on your progress! You will get through this jmzz1!!!

navyrigger46

Move to Utah, we're throwing jobs at CE's here, there aren't enough techies to fill them all.

Rigger

jmzz1

Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with mesha that perhaps a new career path is what you need. Not sure if your the religious type, but a local church may have a career counseling service that could help you out (if you haven't tried that). Also they will likely have volunteer opportunities to help occupy your time and perhaps help you find other activities that interest you and may hold job prospects. Your profile pic I admire as it shows you are driven when you have a goal. That is a great sign!

Broaden your horizons - look for activities that appeal to other interests in your life. See what is in your area that is low/ no cost that allows you to participate in something that interests you (even if it is just watching for now). Try and develop contacts and network in these outings/ exchanges.

Consider also that your next steps are only a short diversion from something else that you will find later this year. Get something to get you out of the house and earning an income. let that be the basis of a new routine that also involves getting back to a diet and exercise plan you can embrace.

Good luck, stay strong and flexible, and keep us posted on your progress! You will get through this jmzz1!!!

Thanks for those kind words but I did try to work as a volunteer in a church before but did not find much help there.
I don't have many friends since the ones i had left for other cities or countries and the strangers look down upon me as not to be fit person in this society. My family calls be a bag of burden , good for nothing.

How do I stay in this society! !!

Marcia315

You don't find a job by sitting in front of the computer. You get a job by going out and talking to people. Its called networking.

TXEXrunner

Thanks for those kind words but I did try to work as a volunteer in a church before but did not find much help there.
I don't have many friends since the ones i had left for other cities or countries and the strangers look down upon me as not to be fit person in this society. My family calls be a bag of burden , good for nothing.

How do I stay in this society! !!
[/quote]

Your family, sadly, is wrong. You matter and you are good for a lot of things. Maybe your family needs some church. There are small groups in many churches that would welcome you and serve as a support network for you. I also would think getting out of the house, even if it is only to walk, would be healthy. Doesn't have to involve spending any money, just taking care of yourself. Finally, as for "strangers" - who are they to judge you?! All of us have problems - no one is above you - don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

jmzz1

My family want me to marry first and then hunt for the job. But my weight is a big hindrance in finding a partner for myself.
All my problem are interconnected and depends on my weihht issue

And I am not able to reduce weight due to depression.

I do have access to the gym. But the root cause is depression due to lack of work

Francl27

Weight has nothing to do with it. 14 kilos overweight is really nothing.

Just find a job. Any job. I find it hard to believe that there isn't a store that needs help or something.

lindsaymarcin

Wow! You need to do what is right for YOU not your family! A lot of men like women who are confident and financially secure. I agree with the others...sitting in front of the computer gets you no where. Go out and volunteer to start to network. Some good places to check out are your local library, hospital, neighborhood schools, church, senior center, or food bank. Get yourself out there talking to people and showing off your skills! I know volunteering doesn't pay bills, but you need to get out there and meet people. You just might find another career path that you never even thought of before! Volunteering also looks great on a resume!!

jmzz1

I stay in oman where girls are not given the liberty of volunteering. Come from a very conservative family where girls are only allowed to work as doctors, engineers or lecturers . No other job prescribed from them.

There are lots of boundry lines set by my family n society and I don't know how to break it. Do not want to hurt my family members sentiment toooo..... totally confused and depressed

Unknown

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UnderCoverShyGirl

Boundary lines are hard to cross when you live in a place where you can't speak out. However, you have the most important tool and that is the internet. You can join groups of others trying to cross boundary lines, or woman struggling with the same issues as you are. I would say look for some message boards, do some google searching to find them.

I have friends from India and Turkey and Pakistan and other places all over the world that have the same family and society restrictions as you do and have been able to overcome them, some are in happy arranged marriages, others have had to fight the family disapproval and community gossip and things and went through a lot but are now happy. You can find your path too.

First just move your mind around and work on your fitness which will help you stay happy and motivated. Second, question how upset your family/community would be if you did not follow their exact path. You may think it will be horrible (and sometimes that is true, only you will know for sure) but as i said, i have friends that thought they could not do it as they would be disowned, etc...and when they did it, yes, people talked and were upset and there was drama, but in the end, they are happy and no one was hurt and they lived through all the crap.

If there is no place outside in your area for support, do look for internet support and find some like minded friends (searches for your local area/country/state + key words like depression, women at work, etc...and see what comes up, you may be surprised to find that your depression stems from much more than being out of work or overweight. Just my two cents.

PhearlessPhreaks

Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with mesha that perhaps a new career path is what you need. Not sure if your the religious type, but a local church may have a career counseling service that could help you out (if you haven't tried that). Also they will likely have volunteer opportunities to help occupy your time and perhaps help you find other activities that interest you and may hold job prospects. Your profile pic I admire as it shows you are driven when you have a goal. That is a great sign!

Broaden your horizons - look for activities that appeal to other interests in your life. See what is in your area that is low/ no cost that allows you to participate in something that interests you (even if it is just watching for now). Try and develop contacts and network in these outings/ exchanges.

Consider also that your next steps are only a short diversion from something else that you will find later this year. Get something to get you out of the house and earning an income. let that be the basis of a new routine that also involves getting back to a diet and exercise plan you can embrace.

Good luck, stay strong and flexible, and keep us posted on your progress! You will get through this jmzz1!!!

Thanks for those kind words but I did try to work as a volunteer in a church before but did not find much help there.
I don't have many friends since the ones i had left for other cities or countries and the strangers look down upon me as not to be fit person in this society. My family calls be a bag of burden , good for nothing.

How do I stay in this society! !!

Where there's a will, there's a way. Yes, it's a cliche (and no, I did not intend that to rhyme) but it is nonetheless true. There is always an option, always; a friend in another city with whom you can stay while you look for work, even if it's menial work. Moving elsewhere and staying in a homeless shelter while you get on your feet, as a worst case scenario. You can always improve your station in life- where you start does not determine where you end up. It all depends on you and what you're willing to do, what you're willing to sacrifice to get where you want to be.

knra_grl

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.
Booker T. Washington

JoRocka

why on EARTH would you marry first then find a job?

Not for nothing- I would never marry an unemployed person- especially not in this economy- you should be focused on a job first- not getting married- that's just rubbish.

I work 3 jobs- I just quit my 4th on in November because I had to move and it wasn't practical. There is work to be had.
Also- getting a job is easier when you have a job- not sure how it matters but it does.

Sorry you are down on your luck at this point- but there are ways to make things happen. When I first moved here there was no job that wasn't to good for me. I was willing to flip burgers if that is what it took to make ends meet. I drew and tried to sell my art work- anything to generate motivation and possible cash.

I used to joke when I had a crappy job- that at some point I was going to quit... because someone always needed their d*ck sucked or their toilet scrubbed. There are jobs- you just have to find one you are willing to do (I wouldn't jump on the blow job band wagon at this point- but I'm sure somewhere someone needs something done- like house cleaning- or burger flipping)

if you haven't been getting anywhere with what you have- you need to branch out - doing nothing isn't helping- so time to find something else to do.

jmzz1

I have tried breaking the boundaries before but my mum gets very ill due to which i can't take any decision

uconnwinsnc

There are always volunteer jobs. No good company will turn down free labor. Look around and you will be able to gain experience. You only need to do it long enough to get connections and have it on your resume.

UnderCoverShyGirl

Hey posters, just a note as i read responses. I believe the OP mentioned she lived in Oman. That is a place very different from the US and the cultural norms, family expectations, everything are very different. When she speaks of family wanting her to marry first, etc...those things may be because that is how it is done where she lives, it's not a USA environment where you just can go off on your own etc...Oman is progressive, but still the very traditional i believe....anyway, just wanted to point that out so posters can offer useful advice for someone that may not have the same lifestyles/cultures as some of us.

Anywho, if i'm wrong OP forgive me, but i'm thinking if you make that clear from the beginning, people will understand a bit more and maybe be able to offer suggestions more in suiting with what is realistic for you.

Another two cents LOL

TXEXrunner

Glad you pointed this out, UnderCoverShy. I wonder if it is possible for OP to leave home (despite affect on mom, which is likely short term)? Lots of good suggestions in this posting, but may require leaving that location to try them.

jmzz1

Hey posters, just a note as i read responses. I believe the OP mentioned she lived in Oman. That is a place very different from the US and the cultural norms, family expectations, everything are very different. When she speaks of family wanting her to marry first, etc...those things may be because that is how it is done where she lives, it's not a USA environment where you just can go off on your own etc...Oman is progressive, but still the very traditional i believe....anyway, just wanted to point that out so posters can offer useful advice for someone that may not have the same lifestyles/cultures as some of us.

Anywho, if i'm wrong OP forgive me, but i'm thinking if you make that clear from the beginning, people will understand a bit more and maybe be able to offer suggestions more in suiting with what is realistic for you.

Another two cents LOL

Thanks for making it clear about my environment. Hopefully I might figure out a way but seems next to impossible as of now.

I appreciate all those advice. Has helped me out a lot