Sticking to healthy eating at weekend/un supportive partner

shelley234

Hi

Looking for advice and suggestions.

I have a non supportive partner that will buy take away's at the weekend and order for me with out asking. aaahhh
I'v told him not to do it anymore think he will listen ).

I find it difficult to stick to healthy eating at the weekends, what do you do when eating out with family and friends ?

I do enjoy having a few red wines at the weekend which I don't really want to stop, everything in moderation and all that jazz.

Please don't comment if you are going to be cruel or sarcastic. I'm looking for some help, advice and support.

Thanks

mccindy72

Hi

Looking for advice and suggestions.

I have a non supportive partner that will buy take away's at the weekend and order for me with out asking. aaahhh
I'v told him not to do it anymore think he will listen ).

I find it difficult to stick to healthy eating at the weekends, what do you do when eating out with family and friends ?

I do enjoy having a few red wines at the weekend which I don't really want to stop, everything in moderation and all that jazz.

Please don't comment if you are going to be cruel or sarcastic. I'm looking for some help, advice and support.

Thanks

I honestly don't understand the unsupportive partner. Why is someone in a relationship if not to support the person they love? The key to a strong, supportive relationship is communication, communication, communication. Tempered with a lot of respect. People need to sit down and have honest, difficult conversations. It's important to let each other know how you feel about how you are treating each other. If he is ordering takeout and not listening to you, it's time to sit down face to face and dig down to the reason why he continues to ignore your requests. Be honest and sincere. No distractions, just you and him, face to face. Find out if there is something you are doing that he doesn't like that he feels is disrespecting him. Sometimes there are bigger issues at hand we don't even know about and having a long conversation can reveal to both of you things about your relationship of which you were not even aware.

MelRC117

Can't you say "No, I'm not eating that" and go on and order what you want? Or if he brings something home and its higher calories eat less of it? When eating out, I just look for ways to cut carbs/calories and temptation by not even ordering it. If I order a burger and don't plan on eating the fries, I ask for a substitution right away or tell the server no fries. If you want to indulge at the restaurant, plan ahead and eat less throughout the day.

It's one thing if he really doesn't realize that he's not being supportive, but you make it sound like he's trying to tempt you or sabotage you. You are looking for people from the internet to be supportive, but your own partner isn't? That's ironic.

TavistockToad

if he orders for you without asking just dont eat it.. he will soon get bored of wasting money.

other than that, you can still eat takeaway or eat out, just in moderation... plan ahead, if you know you're eating out with family at the weekend, just eat 100 cals less each day through the week so you can eat more while you're out.

editorgrrl

Try prelogging on the weekends. That way your good choices are already made for you.

Look at your nutrition for the past 7 days, not just today. Eat "good" or "clean" or "healthy" (whatever those words mean to you) 80% of the time. Fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to binges.

Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-Sexypants

MzzNkki

if he orders for you without asking just dont eat it.. he will soon get bored of wasting money.

other than that, you can still eat takeaway or eat out, just in moderation... plan ahead, if you know you're eating out with family at the weekend, just eat 100 cals less each day through the week so you can eat more while you're out.

^^^^ agreed!!

sweetpea03b

My hubby is one of those cursed individuals that can eat piles and piles of crap and never gain a pound. But, he has a very physical job so I suppose its because his body burns so much everyday.

The weekends are a struggle. We eat out usually atleast 1 time each weekend.. I am home for breakfast so I usually don't stick to my trusty luna bar.. I end up having pancakes or something like that (because hubby is trying to be nice and make me breakfast). So, I try to make room in my day for these higher calorie meals and eliminate snacks and cut out my usual wine, etc. I also tend to have more time so I go for a run to "earn" some extra calories.

It's OK to "let your hair down" as they say on the weekends. I try to be REALLY GOOD during the week so I can afford to be a little "wild" on the weekends... its your weekly deficit that counts anyway... and remember.. this is a LIFESTYLE change. Are you really never going to eat takeout again in your life? Don't sweat it... take one meal at a time, one day at a time.

megantischner

why are you with partner if he is undermining your diet? Sounds like time for a serious heart-to-heart with him. I agree with mccindy72: "It's important to let each other know how you feel about how you are treating each other. If he is ordering takeout and not listening to you, it's time to sit down face to face and dig down to the reason why he continues to ignore your requests. Be honest and sincere. No distractions, just you and him, face to face."

Also, you may want to plan out (and buy) weekend food in advance, so you have healthy options on hand you can eat. When he does get takeout without asking, just say thanks but no thanks, you're set.

Also also, is this something he did before you starting dieting that you liked him doing for you? It's possible that he doesn't know what to DO to support you (just what NOT to do). Have you told him what he CAN be doing, like asking you first what you want, or exercising with you, or if he feels like he has to "treat" you, treat with flowers instead? (Not sure if this is the case -- but since we don't have all the details, it is one possibility.)

eldamiano

Why not give up the wine temporarily?

foxruddellc1

The unsupportive partner things sucks, What goes in your mouth is up to you, but in the beginning that can be rough, for you and for them. Changing the way you eat has effects on them, and they may not be sure how to handle this sudden change to your relationship, feel slightly resentful, or honestly think they are not doing anything wrong. When I decided to transition to becoming vegan, (which I'm still struggling with) my s.o. was upset and I could not understand why. When I asked, he honestly told me, "I can't take you out for ice cream when you are sad, I can't share things with you like I used to, ect." We fixed this by talking and communicating, and eventually we came up with a happy medium, where I will have tastes of stuff, and we will still eat where we always have, I will just order whatever and take off the cheese. It's all about communication, your s.o. may not know how this makes you feel.

About eating out, we are eating out with friends and family up to every dinner of a given week. I have tried to "save up my calories" but it simply isn't feasible with how often we go out for me. I get salads, with no cheese and dressing on the side. Or a brothy soup, ect. Salads will have a bunch of calories depending what is on them, but if you get no meat,no cheese and dressing/croutons on the side, the salad itself with just veggies is like, 100 calories, even the huge ones. I add about 100/200 calories depending how much dressing I use. If you want meat, get grilled chicken. You stop craving greasy stuff after a while, and I may have a bite or 2 of fries ect off my guy's plate, but I don't like eating much now. Ordering salads helps a ton.

You can do this! You do not need to drastically change your life style or end up hating your s.o. through this! (I was hella mad at my guy for a while, but communication!) Just change how you approach meals when going out. Unless it is a huge treat, it is very simple to eat healthy at restaurants, if you keep yourself educated. Good luck, feel free to friend me!

Confuzzled4ever

if he orders for you without asking just dont eat it.. he will soon get bored of wasting money.

other than that, you can still eat takeaway or eat out, just in moderation... plan ahead, if you know you're eating out with family at the weekend, just eat 100 cals less each day through the week so you can eat more while you're out.

^^^^ agreed!!

+2

ItsCasey

1. Tell your partner some things he CAN buy that you will actually eat.

2. Get out of the house on weekends, and go do active things. If you do that, then it won't matter so much what you eat when you go out at night.

MissBabyJane

I know what you mean. It's really hard for me to stay on track on the weekends. My family cooks amazing dinner and it's really hard to avoid it when I'm home.

feistymoon

When we get take away I always get a veg option as a side. For example, I'll get a chicken curry or a king prawn dish from the Chinese, but i'll also ask for a portion of stir fried veg with very little oil for the side. Even if it's not on the menu, I find that people are generally willing to help if you ask nicely.

It's all about portion control too. Split the dishes in two, and pop some in the freezer for another day. Or send it off with your other half to work the next day for their lunch.

Moderation and making clever choices is the way to go with this one. He deserves his treats too, it would be equally as unsupportive of us not to acknowledge that.

SailorKnightWing

Talk to him about it. Let him know you're serious.

Let him know things you're willing to eat. He will forget sometimes, but he'll remember other times.

Eat less of what he orders you if it's too high calorie for your goals. Save the rest for another meal.

Eat at a greater deficit during the weekday so you can have some extra calories on the weekend.

runningincognito

I try not to blame my husband for what I eat, but it's definitely difficult not to eat delicious things that are right in front of your face. I usually just try to very kindly say, "No thanks! You can take that trip to fat town by yourself."

I have a cut off eating time because I know that no good comes out of the kitchen for me after 7pm. I have been used to living with women who usually avoid the kitchen at all costs. My husband is always in there at night grazing and snacking. I was getting very angry with him for being in there when I couldn't be; but then I realized it's an opportunity for me to exercise control. Now when he goes into the kitchen at night after 7 I do ten pushups or ten burpees to remind me of why I don't want to go in the kitchen. I get a little extra exercise and he gets a little guilt because he knows exactly why I've jumped up to suddenly workout. ha!

ScottishGirlXO

Hi

Looking for advice and suggestions.

I have a non supportive partner that will buy take away's at the weekend and order for me with out asking. aaahhh
I'v told him not to do it anymore think he will listen ).

I find it difficult to stick to healthy eating at the weekends, what do you do when eating out with family and friends ?

I do enjoy having a few red wines at the weekend which I don't really want to stop, everything in moderation and all that jazz.

Please don't comment if you are going to be cruel or sarcastic. I'm looking for some help, advice and support.

Thanks

Hey, I get where your coming from! I told my partner at the end of last year to help me along the way at weekends (my biggest weakness in this dieting malarkey). He didn't really understand at first until I got really emotional over my weight and difficulty of losing weight.

He eventually understood when I said I was putting him on a 6 months sex ban!!!! LOL (it was a joke of course).
He now understands. Men just take a bit longer honey, dont beat yourself up over it!!! X

brcossette

I've been using MFP for 8 months now and i don't keep track on the weekends anymore. I've got a pretty good handle on what i can or can't eat and still stay within my daily calorie intake. We just don't order take out anymore as fast food is my kryptonite. You can't control your partner anymore then they can control you. Staying on track is entirely up to YOU.

concordancia

Trying to feed you does not make your partner unsupportive. I assume this is a habit he got into for good reasons. Now you are expecting him to change, just because you have made some changes.

If you want him to stop, just don't eat it. If it is takeaway, I assume you are eating at home, so just eat a salad or something else that works with your goals. Make a plan earlier in the day: Just say "Hey, why don't we have X for lunch and Y for dinner?"

Cranquistador

figure out the calories and eat a portion with steamed vegetables and salad and save the rest for other meals.

Shameka808

Hi
I TOTALLT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. I WONT SAY THAT YOUR BOO IS UNSUPPORTIVE......HE IS JUST STUCK IN OLD HABITS.........WHICH ARE HARD TO BREAK. I AM DEALING WITH THE SAME THING BUT WITH ALL THAT HE DOES TO DETOUR YOU........ITS STILL UP TO US AS TO WHAT WE FEED OURSELVES. THE WEEKEND IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL SO WHAT I AM DOING IS EATING LIGHT FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AND ONLY DRINKING WATER( YOU DONT WANT TO DRINK ANY CALORIES) THEN FOR DINNER YOU SHOULD BE FINE (IN MODERATION).

I DO UNDERSTAND THOUGH ITS HARD.......DURING THE WEEK I AM GOOD.......I ALWAYS HAVE EVERYHING UNDER CONTROL BUT THE MINUTE FRIDAY EVENING COMES THEN OLD HABITS WILL SET IN.........(THE KIDS WANT MCDONALDS......HE WANTS WINGS) THEN THEY ALL LOOK AT ME SIDE WAYS WHEN I SAY ILL HAVE A SALAD OR SOMETHING ALREADY PRE COOKED FOR ME. PLEASE DONT BE DISCOURAGED AND PLEASE DONT THINK YOU ARE ALONE. AND AT SOME POINT THINK OF YOU......... AND WHATS BEST FOR YOU.

mccindy72

Hi
I TOTALLT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. I WONT SAY THAT YOUR BOO IS UNSUPPORTIVE......HE IS JUST STUCK IN OLD HABITS.........WHICH ARE HARD TO BREAK. I AM DEALING WITH THE SAME THING BUT WITH ALL THAT HE DOES TO DETOUR YOU........ITS STILL UP TO US AS TO WHAT WE FEED OURSELVES. THE WEEKEND IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL SO WHAT I AM DOING IS EATING LIGHT FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AND ONLY DRINKING WATER( YOU DONT WANT TO DRINK ANY CALORIES) THEN FOR DINNER YOU SHOULD BE FINE (IN MODERATION).

I DO UNDERSTAND THOUGH ITS HARD.......DURING THE WEEK I AM GOOD.......I ALWAYS HAVE EVERYHING UNDER CONTROL BUT THE MINUTE FRIDAY EVENING COMES THEN OLD HABITS WILL SET IN.........(THE KIDS WANT MCDONALDS......HE WANTS WINGS) THEN THEY ALL LOOK AT ME SIDE WAYS WHEN I SAY ILL HAVE A SALAD OR SOMETHING ALREADY PRE COOKED FOR ME. PLEASE DONT BE DISCOURAGED AND PLEASE DONT THINK YOU ARE ALONE. AND AT SOME POINT THINK OF YOU......... AND WHATS BEST FOR YOU.

Shameka, all caps is shouting... please take off your caps lock.

skullshank

Hi
I TOTALLT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. I WONT SAY THAT YOUR BOO IS UNSUPPORTIVE......HE IS JUST STUCK IN OLD HABITS.........WHICH ARE HARD TO BREAK. I AM DEALING WITH THE SAME THING BUT WITH ALL THAT HE DOES TO DETOUR YOU........ITS STILL UP TO US AS TO WHAT WE FEED OURSELVES. THE WEEKEND IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL SO WHAT I AM DOING IS EATING LIGHT FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AND ONLY DRINKING WATER( YOU DONT WANT TO DRINK ANY CALORIES) THEN FOR DINNER YOU SHOULD BE FINE (IN MODERATION).

I DO UNDERSTAND THOUGH ITS HARD.......DURING THE WEEK I AM GOOD.......I ALWAYS HAVE EVERYHING UNDER CONTROL BUT THE MINUTE FRIDAY EVENING COMES THEN OLD HABITS WILL SET IN.........(THE KIDS WANT MCDONALDS......HE WANTS WINGS) THEN THEY ALL LOOK AT ME SIDE WAYS WHEN I SAY ILL HAVE A SALAD OR SOMETHING ALREADY PRE COOKED FOR ME. PLEASE DONT BE DISCOURAGED AND PLEASE DONT THINK YOU ARE ALONE. AND AT SOME POINT THINK OF YOU......... AND WHATS BEST FOR YOU.

just enjoy a portion of the food he orders if you want. you dont have to eliminate anything from your diet to be successful. just plan for it and make it fit in your day.
if you really dont want it, then dont eat it. once he realizes hes wasting money, he'll stop.

firstsip

Hi
I TOTALLT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. I WONT SAY THAT YOUR BOO IS UNSUPPORTIVE......HE IS JUST STUCK IN OLD HABITS.........WHICH ARE HARD TO BREAK. I AM DEALING WITH THE SAME THING BUT WITH ALL THAT HE DOES TO DETOUR YOU........ITS STILL UP TO US AS TO WHAT WE FEED OURSELVES. THE WEEKEND IS MY PROBLEM AS WELL SO WHAT I AM DOING IS EATING LIGHT FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH AND ONLY DRINKING WATER( YOU DONT WANT TO DRINK ANY CALORIES) THEN FOR DINNER YOU SHOULD BE FINE (IN MODERATION).

I DO UNDERSTAND THOUGH ITS HARD.......DURING THE WEEK I AM GOOD.......I ALWAYS HAVE EVERYHING UNDER CONTROL BUT THE MINUTE FRIDAY EVENING COMES THEN OLD HABITS WILL SET IN.........(THE KIDS WANT MCDONALDS......HE WANTS WINGS) THEN THEY ALL LOOK AT ME SIDE WAYS WHEN I SAY ILL HAVE A SALAD OR SOMETHING ALREADY PRE COOKED FOR ME. PLEASE DONT BE DISCOURAGED AND PLEASE DONT THINK YOU ARE ALONE. AND AT SOME POINT THINK OF YOU......... AND WHATS BEST FOR YOU.

Don't worry, McDonald's brought back wings!

lesteidel

I just say, burn an extra 100 to 200 calories a day during the week in exercise and don't eat it back on those days. Then you still have an extra wiggle room of 500 to 1000 extra calories on the weekend.

I know it goes against what most people in here think to not eat exercise calories back, but it WILL give you a little more wiggle room with the calories on the weekend.

Another idea is cooking a meal before he has the chance to order takeout. Or offering to get the takeout yourself so you have more control over it.

As long as your week is averaging out to your goal, you should be fine. I would honestly just find a way to cut back a few extra calories during the week to make up for it, either through exercise or eating less.

As backwards as it seems, he may be trying to tell you he loves you no matter what size you are and that the weight isn't as big of a deal to him as it is to you. It's your job to control your weight, not his.

You don't have to eat what he brings you, and even things as small as not eating all of it can help. I would just go with it and find ways to control it even through that.

shelley234

Thank you everyone for you replies, I can say 100% my partner is not being nasty or trying to sabotage my dieting. He is just set in his ways ( which used to be both our ways)

He thinks he his being helpful by ordering dinner to save it being cooked which is something we always done. A good talk and we both understand where we stand )

Thank you for all your advice and suggestions I will try some off them out