MUST eat cookies at work.

The_Raspberry

So I am a social worker, working on doing family assessments.Hard work, but rewarding.

One of the most crucial things for me to do a good job, and to help these children and families is having a good relationship with the parents. Which is VERY hard to do while criticizing someones parenting.

I go on a lot of house visit. A lot of the time they will then bring out cookies, cakes, tea and coffee. I would be VERY rude for me to turn it down. A lot of the time they come from other cultures, where turning food down is insulting. But also the whole "a social worker is coming to my house, and that is really scary, and I'm nervous about it and want to show our home and family in the best possible way". Believe it or not, but a small thing like saying no to a cookie can actually be the difference of a parent feeling respected/listened to or not. So saying no is not always an option, even though it works sometimes.

Things like this usually comes unplanned, maybe once or twice a week. I've tried saying I'm on a diet but it doesn't work. I tried saying I don't eat gluten, but then the next time I came they had twice as many cakes and all of them gluten free. If I make my bed I lie in it I guess.

I do love the fact that I get to eat lots of cookies from various kitchens and parts of the world on a regular basis. But it makes meal planning REALLY hard.

Today, i had to eat a (really tasty) deep fried cookie at one of the families houses, and it wasn't planned. And since I'll be working late there is no time for exercise today. If it wasn't to often I would just try to be a few calories under, but it happens to often for that. And I'd rather eat fruit and food if I could choose, a cookie instead of dinner is not really worth it.


Ok. So. Rant over. Thanks for listening, I guess.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

Flab2Fab27

I don't think you're whole weight loss journey will be at jeopardy over eating a cookie (or even 2) here and there.

lindzgayle

What if you graciously accepted a serving of cookies or cake, then only drank the tea or coffee? Or, maybe just nibbled on it? That's still half a serving versus an entire slice or whatever.

Chezzie84

Why not make it into a joke... "Thank you for the offer but as you can imagine I get offered so many cookies a day that if I ate them all I would look like the cookie monster from sesame street"

Chezzie84

I don't think you're whole weight loss journey will be at jeopardy over eating a cookie (or even 2) here and there.

It will if she vists 10 houses day.

navyrigger46

You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.

Rigger

Luvable84v

Try the 'That looks really tasty but I'm afraid I'm a diabetic and have to monitor everything I eat'

Holly_Roman_Empire

Say you're allergic. Works for me every time.

cassjacobsen

Ask to take it to go and then toss it in the garbage or give it to a friend, when you get back to work! Your weight loss journey must be put first.

Marcia315

I do some home visits for my job and I'm scared to eat anything that comes out of those houses. Bleck.

kbeckley11

Tell them you just ate lunch, or breakfast, so you are full, but would it be okay if you could take one togo to enjoy later. That way you don't ever actually have to eat it, but it avoids all the negatives that you mentioned.

KHalseth

Try the 'That looks really tasty but I'm afraid I'm a diabetic and have to monitor everything I eat'

Diabetes does make a really good excuse for refusing treats. I use it. But then it can result in low sugar cookies or other diebetes 'friendly' treats.

bohemian124

Congrats on finding such an important and rewarding line or work. That is a tough job, and I have a ton of respect for people who can handle it!

It sounds like you have no choice but to accept the food and find a way to work around it in your meals. You tried the dieting and "gluten free" approaches and they didn't work. You could try vegan, kosher, allergic, etc., but you'd probably still get families who try to work around it and it could cause more problems in your work relationships than it is worth. Plus, like you said, you are getting to sample delicacies from around the world, which is pretty cool!

The thing you can control on visits is how much you accept - is one cookie enough, or do you need to accept 3 and eat them all in front of them in order to avoid insulting them? If you are offered coffee or tea with snacks, can you drink them unsweetened? If not, can you ask for a glass of cold water, or hot water with lemon instead of coffee or tea?

At home, you can try to focus on healthy filling meals that are low in fat to make up for the treats. Grilled chicken, eggs, beans, and pork loin are good protein options, or you could go the smoothie route with protein powders. You can also eat lots of greens and veggies without much impact on calorie or fat counts, and they have a lot of fiber so they will fill you up too.

SelkathNuggets

(I have never been in a situation like this, this is pure speculation on my part)
I say don't go into this stressing out about it. When you visit a new family, if they offer you food then accept it graciously. Then let them know that you're watching what you eat and while you found their creation delightful, you probably shouldn't be having sweets. If they end up making you healthier food, even better.

Heck, you can even refer them to this site and show them what you're doing and why extra food can be complicated.

TL:DR - The truth works!

ekztawas

Would it be disrespectful to ask for it to be wrapped up for you to eat later? Then you could fit it in when it suits you? But I suppose the families probably want to get the satisfaction of seeing you enjoy their food...Worth a try, I guess?

I've always admired social workers. Thanks for keeping the kids first

ktsmom430

Tell them you just ate lunch, or breakfast, so you are full, but would it be okay if you could take one togo to enjoy later. That way you don't ever actually have to eat it, but it avoids all the negatives that you mentioned.

^^^This.
Or that you just had a snack before you arrived.

The_Raspberry

Try the 'That looks really tasty but I'm afraid I'm a diabetic and have to monitor everything I eat'

Diabetes does make a really good excuse for refusing treats. I use it. But then it can result in low sugar cookies or other diebetes 'friendly' treats.

Hey, you guys have some really great tips! Might try the diabetes one, and see if it works.

I also must add that a lot of families don't mind me saying no, but some do. And just the fact that we are doing something together (eating cookies) and that I'm acting human, chewing and things is a great way to make them less nervous. We are sitting down for cookies and having a serious conversation rather than me coming to their house and questioning them. It goes a long way!!

Thanks for your support!!

Ang108

When I was a young social worker ( when dinosaurs roamed this planet ) the same thing happened to me. I usually accepted the coffee, water or tea and since the cookies were usually served on a plate that was put on the table, I just ignored them. When I was offered one, I smiled, said " thank you " and still ignored them. I did not have a weight problem, but just did not care for cookies ( still don't ).
I usually was polite and respectful and the fact that I did not eat any cookies made no difference to our home assessment/home study at all. It should only make a difference for you if you let it.
Also, if you look for a reason to justify eating those cookies, go right ahead, take responsibility and don't blame your job, if you feel those cookies keep you from losing.
Good luck !

_chiaroscuro

It sounds like you can expect to be offered something fairly regularly, so if it were me, I'd plan for it in my week, rather than worry about it throwing off a single day. I look at my calories on a weekly basis anyway, and if I'm a little bit over, well okay so I'm still at a 12% deficit instead of 15% for the week. No biggie. That way you can be gracious and kind without feeling like you're getting off track.

And I just want to say I'm impressed with your compassion. That's not easy work.

bohemian124

You don't have to accept them, you're not Santa Claus. Politely decline, they're just trying to butter you up anyway, just like I would if the government sent someone after me. It's the first step to try to better their situation, and comes slightly before trying to figure out what to do with the body.

Rigger, this woman said she works with a lot of families from different countries. There is a cultural norm in many countries to offer guests (especially guests of a higher station in life, such as those with a government job) food as a sign of hospitality. Many cultures even encourage people to put out their best foods to guests, foods they don't normally feed their own families. In many of these cultures, refusing the food is a sign of disrespect and may be considered insulting. Instead of insulting the people she is working with, why not try to read her dilemma more fully so you can appreciate her situation?

Cranquistador

IN for cookies