Hello, just needing some motivation

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My name is Molly and I am a mother to a beautiful 20 month old daughter. I have a supportive boyfriend that I love dearly but I have trouble with not giving up on this weight loss. I haven't seen a doctor to confirm this but I'm certain I am dealing with depression, as my house is often trashed and I feel very little motivation to get up and do it. I want to play with my daughter, and have energy a 22 year old should have. I weigh 348 pounds. I hate it , I hate the way I look. I hate the way people look at me and talk to me. I have been trying very hard to track what I eat. I also own a treadmill and try to get 30 minutes of walking in daily. That's hard for me too. 2.5mph is what I can do comfortably. I'm trying to work up to it. Today I tried doing the 'weight loss' setting on my treadmill on its lowest setting. It starts slow and works up to 4mph for 30 second intervals and then back to 2.5mph. I could do the 4mph twice and I felt exhausted. This is in addition to my earlier 30 minutes at 2.5mph. I know that's not much but its what I can do now. I have always fought with my weight and my mother does even after gastric bypass( my mom had Gastric Bypass not me). I try to watch my foods. Tracking my foods has helped me think before I put it in my mouth, which helps a lot. The hardest part for me is not drinking soda. I crave the fizzy sweetness of it often, and lately as long as there is none in my house I can drink a couple glasses of water instead, but the temptation to bring it in is always there. My mom is staying with us until she is able to move out and she brings a lot of stress to my life. She is not a supportive person. I'm not trying to whine, just expressing my situation a bit. I haven't had any huge health issues come up yet, and that is one of my main motivations, I don't want it to come to that to decide to lose weight. The temptations are huge though and I'd love some friends to help keep our goals in mind. :D
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Replies

  • Cookie_4
    Cookie_4 Posts: 152 Member
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    Hi, Molly! I'm Cookie and totally understand how difficult it can be and a quick fix of soda and chips can make you feel better just in that moment. Just remember to not be so hard on yourself and know that you are trying. Exercising is hard AT&T he beginning for any weight. I tried it work out at the gym 4 days in a row once and made myself sick and was bedridden for two days. My point is, you have to start off slowly and don't expect to run miles after one week of working out. You didn't gain all that weight overnight so don't force yourself to try to lose it all overnight either! Stresses come and go so it will get better eventually!

    Baby steps and remember that setbacks are not failures! If you find that cutting things like soda completely causes you to binge, try to wean off slowly like cutting 4 cups a day to 3 cups a day for a week, then 2 cups the next week, etc. you can also replace your cravings for fizzy drinks by drinking naturally flavored sparking water!

    Good luck and you're welcome to add me as a friend if you need motivation!
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,568 Member
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    Don't give up! Gradually cut back on your soda and soon you won't miss it...keep on with the treadmill you are making progress even if it doesn't feel like it at this point. Put your baby in the stroller on a nice day and go for a walk outdoors (just to take a break from mom if needed). Everything will fall into place if you stick to it...sticking to a plan will make you feel better than opting out of one. Your bf is supportive so maybe you could take an evening out with your friends even if it's just for a cup of coffee. Stick to it ...you can do this! Good Luck!
  • Lld320
    Lld320 Posts: 81
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    sounds like you know what you have to do. It is really hard to start, but trust me it only gets easier everyday. Make small adjustments, forgive yourself for bad days and no matter what don't quit. As long as you are trying and you want to try you are doing it right. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it more than you know.
    I do think you need to go talk to someone about your depression though, that is a very serious thing, and losing weight won't solve it.
  • rhoucheille
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    Hi Molly I gave up drinking soda, juice and coffeee almost 4 months ago and it was not easy. It took me a while to finally give it up. I used to think that my morning coffee determines my mood for for the day, so imagine how cranky I feel for the first few weeks. My husband loves soda - Mt Dew to be specific so we always have it stocked at home. But that didn't stop me from doing something good for myself and for our little family. Then eventually I kind of influenced my husband and he only drinks soda when we're eating out.

    I know how hard it feels to give up something you can't really resist and how bad you're feeling right now. Just hang in there, I agree with the other comments that the weight gain didn't come in over night so as losing it. Always remember that slow progress is better than no progress at all. Its good that you're making baby steps, just don't deprive yourself, else you will not enjoy your journey.For the exercise, just do baby steps till you feel comfortable. I've already lost a good amount of weight for these past months but honestly when I do a new workout routine I still do it little by little. You have to listen to your body as well, else you'll fall out the wagon. Just enjoy it and sure you'll be happy with the end results. And also don't depend on the scale. NSVs are always great for motivating yourself to work harder and do better.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    Just remember you have such a sweet little daughter so even when you don't feel like taking care of you for yourself do it for her. I am sure she would love to have her mommy around as long as she can and she will be running around with crazy bounds of energy soon; life will be so much more fun for both of you if you can keep up! I hope you stick with it because I really think you can do this. Feel free to friend me if you want. I would love to help you out with anything you need. Good luck!
  • captgalactic
    captgalactic Posts: 11 Member
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    I am a new mom too, and I struggled with weight loss and staying motivated. So, I got some help. I see a nutritionist who helped me find my motivation, my beautiful son. She asked me "what behaviors would you like to model for your son?" That got me to really think about what I was eating. My downfall is sugary foods, but as I worked on that and replacing activities for eating the sugary foods, it became easier. It took 3 months before I saw any weight loss, and then it started to happen. After I had some success with diet, I decided to add some exercise. I do yoga with my son. I go for a walk/jog with him several days a week. He is my inspiration, so I keep him near when I am doing the things that are hard. And, my hope is that including him in my exercise will show him how fun it can be, and allows me to model that behavior for him.

    Try to find what motivates you, and will inspire you to to be the best version of yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself, it takes time. If you need to, get some help from a professional.
  • jamiebrown81
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    Molly - Good Luck! I have battled with depression too and I know it can be embarrassing. Some people just don't understand, but some people do. Fast food is my weakness but I am on here to own up to what I want to change and what I need to work on. I have been trying hard to keep my thoughts positive and it has been helping. For example, when I leave work, all I want to do is go home and crawl into bed. The past few days when I am on my way home I have been thinking to myself, "you have been at work all day and now that is over - now is my time to enjoy the rest of my day and I can't do that from my room - how do I want to enjoy the rest of my day?" When I notice my thoughts are negative or down, I take note of that try and take a minute to re-access them. Try it! Don't be your biggest enemy!
  • Amanda_Gx6
    Amanda_Gx6 Posts: 320 Member
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    You could start putting a dollar in a jar for every pound you loose and when it adds up buy something nice for yourself. That should give you a boost of motivation to keep on going! Good Luck!!!!!!
  • SouthPawSings
    SouthPawSings Posts: 54 Member
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    Thanks everyone! I appreciate the support! I'm going to do this. MFP is one of my homepages so its a reminder everyday to log the foods, and get in some exercise. It helps to know I'm not the only person trying to loose weight. I just keep trying to do it day by day. Thanks again everyone!
  • ChelseaGoneAwry
    ChelseaGoneAwry Posts: 53 Member
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    Somebody once told me, "The only workout you'll regret is the one you didn't do."

    So what if you can't do more than 30 minutes on the treadmill? Do that every day for one month, and then see how you feel. I guarantee that your endurance and stamina will grow, and you will feel amazing!

    As far as having a messy house - cleaning is a form of exercise, too! Focus on how many calories you're burning while sweeping, picking up trash or washing dishes. Then see how nice it feels to have a clean house! Work cleaning into your exercise routine, and you'll be more motivated to do it.

    In regard to the soda and snacking, AVOID THE SNACK AISLE. Thankfully, most stores keep soda and chips on the same aisle. Consider that aisle behind enemy lines. Make sure you're full before a trip to the grocery store - being hungry at Wal Mart is a recipe for disaster!

    Get help for your depression. I have it, too, and I find that days when I work out, my symptoms are not as bad. Exercise releases endorphins! Also, you will have more energy once you get into a routine of working out. Just MAKE EXERCISE YOUR PRIORITY. Don't let a day go by without it!

    And when you need motivation to keep going, think of your sweet daughter. She deserves to have her mom around while growing up. You owe it to her to be healthy so you can live a long life.

    Stick with this community, girl. There are a lot of good people who can help you. :)
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    Drink diet soda instead of regular. If you can cut out a huge amount of calories that way it would be great! Go on walks with your boyfriend and baby. It will be a nice bonding moment for all of you. Exercise and fresh air does wonders for bad moods.

    Just as important as logging, be conscious of what you eat. If you pile up food on your plate, stop and think, "Do I really need to eat this all?" Mindless eating is the worst. Be aware of what you are putting in your body, it will make all the difference.

    This is a long journey ahead of you, but you can do it. You just need to push yourself and take it day to day. If you mess up once in a while, it is completely fine and understandable. If you are out with friends and you don't know how to log the calories, don't worry about it. If you miss the logging once in a while it will not ruin your progress. This is a long term change you are making, you need to understand there will be ups and downs.
  • SouthPawSings
    SouthPawSings Posts: 54 Member
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    Hey guys, It's only been 5 days since I wrote this and I have worked hard to do my 30 minutes daily and log everything. It really does improve the mood. I've felt happier than I've felt in a long time. I keep telling myself, I want to keep feeling this good, so I get on the treadmill again. Thank you everyone for your support. I can see that counting calories isn't such a horrible thing to do, in fact its almost fun, almost. haha I have just today allowed myself some soda. I bought a 2 liter of rootbeer for a shredded pork recipe and today I drank an 8ounce glass of it. My boyfriend happily drank the rest and I feel content. I'm not craving it. In the past, I would drink a 2 liter of Coke in a few hours. I've been measuring out the foods I can ( I don't own a food scale, unfortunately.) and already have plans in the following weeks to 'clean' up my diet. To start focusing more on the quality of food as well as the calories. But I keep in mind the baby steps, because I can get overwhelmed. For now its keeping within calories and doing my 30 minutes walking daily. Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. I think its clicking for me. :D
  • SouthPawSings
    SouthPawSings Posts: 54 Member
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    The conclusion to this story was, she stayed with it for 6 months, lost 50lbs. then stopped. No good reason but spent the next 8 years at 325lb. Now she's back at 348lbs trying all over again. Yay.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,189 Member
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    I would say: no regrets about the past, look towards the future!

    Take small steps, be consistent and patient and don't be too hard on yourself. You can do it!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,608 Member
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    One of the first things you can do IF you still want something fizzy is to switch to diet soda. At the very least, you cut the calories from that. But DO NOT think that just because it's diet soda that you have the justification to consume MORE calories. You STILL need to be in a calorie deficit and that means consuming less food than you have been.
    Habit takes time to change and it only happens with CONSISTENCY. I've had many clients like you and the first thing I always work on with them is just trying to eat off smaller plates. Use a 9 inch plate as your gauge for eating. Visually if a plate is full and you "clean it off", mentally you fulfilled the whole "don't waste food" mentality. And don't go back for seconds. If the plate is 13", well common sense tells you there's more on that plate and more calories you're consuming. So start there first.
    As for exercise, you CANNOT out exercise your diet. It seems many people think all you need to do is exercise to lose weight. But I can emphatically tell you there are so many people that work out an hour a day on exercising and their bodies NEVER CHANGE with the exception of being adapted to exercising. It still comes down to consumption of calories, however exercise should be something you do to help burn off calories to help your weight loss move along. Also, for many exercise helps to reduce cravings if you feel them coming on. Sometimes going for a walk when you feel you want to eat helps you NOT eat.
    But be consistent. For at least 21 days. That's how long it takes to form a habit.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • SouthPawSings
    SouthPawSings Posts: 54 Member
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    I was feeling pretty stupid last night when I posted the update. I'm 15 days into logging my food and eating at 1200-1600 calories. Went over for the first time for pizza by 300 calories. So tonight I had 1900calories and way too much sodium. I've been at the gym for about a week working with a trainer. My weight hasn't moved much but I've been changing a lot of things and I imagine its trying to figure out someting. I drink water as my main drink with diet MT Dew as an occasional fizzy sweet drink. it's 5 calories for a bottle so its a huge improvment over the 250 a full sugar pop is.
    I am working with a trainer who is kind and working with me. I feel good about this time around. I was just grossed out that 8 years ago I was doing this and I haven't really done much since then. Yikes.
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 981 Member
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    For good measure, please see a dr and discuss your possible depression.
  • Lietchi
    Lietchi Posts: 6,189 Member
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    I was feeling pretty stupid last night when I posted the update. I'm 15 days into logging my food and eating at 1200-1600 calories. Went over for the first time for pizza by 300 calories. So tonight I had 1900calories and way too much sodium. I've been at the gym for about a week working with a trainer. My weight hasn't moved much but I've been changing a lot of things and I imagine its trying to figure out someting. I drink water as my main drink with diet MT Dew as an occasional fizzy sweet drink. it's 5 calories for a bottle so its a huge improvment over the 250 a full sugar pop is.
    I am working with a trainer who is kind and working with me. I feel good about this time around. I was just grossed out that 8 years ago I was doing this and I haven't really done much since then. Yikes.

    Depending on the weight loss rate you selected, going over by 300 calories is still probably a deficit.
    - weight loss rate of 0.5lbs/week: you went over maintenance by 50 kcal, no biggie
    - weight loss rate of 1lb/week: still a 200 kcal deficit, equivalent to a weight loss rate of 0.4lbs/week
    - weight loss rate of 1.5lb/week: still a 450 kcal deficit, equivalent to a weight loss rate of 0.9lbs/week
    - weight loss rate of 2lb/week: still a 700 kcal deficit, equivalent to a weight loss rate of 1.4lbs/week
    It helps to have a little perspective 🙂

    PS: you say you're eating 1200-1600 calories. I'd definitely encourage you to choose the upper end of that range (and exercise calories on top of that).
    I lost weight eating more than you, and I was quite a bit lighter (I weighed 205lbs or so). No need to make it extra hard on yourself by being too restrictive and then risk giving up!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Hiya! Well done for coming back!

    I’ve been using MyFitnessPal for 10 years now. I was in maintenance for most of the first 3 years, had a baby and I’ve been yoyoing for the last 7... until now when I’ve got rid of the husband who made me so stressed. I was really never in the right headspace to lose consistently, especially as I knew he only really found me attractive at my lightest. Now I’m far happier and I’m not trying to use weight loss to mend a broken relationship, I can actually lose weight. It often felt like an excuse back then, but it seems clear now it was actually a reason.

    I’m so glad you’ve found a lovely coach and I really hope that works well for you. You may find that working out your mental health is just as valuable for your weight loss too in the long run.