Having unsupportive family sucks!

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Replies

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Yea, it's been hard for us to communicate my whole life, she can get on the defensive really fast. So, it's always seemed pointless. However, I did talk to her this morning and explained I know what I am doing and she doesn't need to worry about what I eat. She apologized if her words came accross wrong and she just wants me to succeed. I told her I understood, but I am doing this...I got this. I think she understood. I hope so! Thank you everyone for support and advice.

    I get that... My mother and I get along really well but we also can get into some real ragers. Glad to hear you had a talk with her and a pretty sucessful one at that!! You may have to gently remind her a few times - old habits die hard. :)
  • loupammac
    loupammac Posts: 194 Member
    There is nothing worse when the people who are supposed to love you and support you unconditionally, only do the opposite. My heart goes out to you and everyone else who has had the same experiences :((

    I read this article on Nerd Fitness over Christmas which lists a lot of comebacks I guess to unsupportive things. Maybe it would give you a leg up in explaining why you're doing what you're doing. Also kudos for not eating the whole chocolate bar. I have no restraint with delicious things like that :)

    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/11/27/how-to-avoid-holiday-confrontation-while-living-healthy/
  • socunpato
    socunpato Posts: 48
    Yeah, yesterday when I came back from running my dad very sarcastically said that there was none of me left, and asked how much I'd lost and how much more I planned to lose. When I told him I had lost 17 lbs and had 19 more to go he almost choked with laughter. The same way he did when I told him I was going to start exercising.

    But you know what? A month ago I couldn't run for a minute without being out of breath and yesterday I completed a 20 minute run! And I've lost these 17lbs in a bit more than two months, in spite of Christmas and birthdays and sad goodbyes that made me want to eat all the foods.

    I know it's very frustrating to find negativity where you'd most expect to find support, but remember you're doing this for yourself and find the motivation you need in your achievements, no matter how little they are, you should always be proud of them :)
  • HipsterWhovian
    HipsterWhovian Posts: 195 Member
    I had a similar situation (nowhere nearly as bad as yours seems though!) My parents were originally very supportive when I started my new lifestyle around 2-3 years ago, praising my enthusiasm and progress, but then they started to turn. If I went to the gym more than 3 times a week, they would tell me I was doing too much. If they felt I hadn't eaten enough one day, they made sure to pick me up on it, and if I had a 'cheat' day, they would admonish me for that too.
    I lost 2.5 stone, but ended up having to stop going to the gym (and abandoning MFP at the same time) because I couldn't afford the gym, and I suffered a horrendous pain in my leg for about 3-4 months, which meant it was painful to even get out of bed some mornings. Because of that, I put on weight again. My parents obviously noticed this, and every so often would mention how good I was when I was going to the gym, and how well I looked, and how I didn't look as good any more.
    I'm now on my 3rd MFP excursion (and hopefully won't leave again) and this is my most serious attempt at it. This means all homecooked food - and cooking for myself instead of what my family cook, because I can control portions and what goes into it - and weighing everything. My dad is brilliant this time round, not criticising me, and supporting what I want to do. My mum on the other hand, not so much. I was making a cheese and ham wrap, and I had the wrap on my electric scales, weighing out my grated cheddar. She comes in, sees what I'm doing and almost shouts at me something along the lines of "Why are you weighing that? You don't need to weigh your food, I don't want you to get obsessed with what you eat! Stupid etc etc." I like to think of myself as a calm person, but she got me riled up, so I snapped back "I have to weigh my food so I know what I'm eating. I've done this for the last two weeks, and I've lost 9lbs because of it!" She got in the kind of huff only a mother can, but thankfully she hasn't said anything since!
    I hope everything gets better for you soon, but remember you always have the support of the MFP community!

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