Shouldn't have weighed...

HeatherGTaylor

Just looking for reminders that this journey is not about how skinny I can get but being healthier.

I'm currently 234 and I thought (silly of me) that I'd be in the 220's in 2 weeks. I lost about 5lbs in a week and my silly head started thinking I would be dropping the weight so quick I'd be that skinny image (around 180's) by March.

I had promised myself NOT to weigh because it does such a number on my head but I feel skinnier and I just had to know. Now I feel so defeated like this weight will never drop off and I'll be healthy but very large with tight clothes forever.

I took my measurements and even went up and inch on my waist and hips from December.

I know it's the wrong mind set but that stupid number has me in a mode of "what's the point".

Anyone been in the same boat? What did you tell yourself to remember that this is a long process and to stop feeling so sad?

Jkn921

Weight loss is hard and a grand challenge. I never see the results of my efforts until two weeks when I had to restart and I understand how defeating it can feel. You really have to be strong and push through it. Persevere and keep working hard.

MrsAustin1480

I got stuck just recently and I was depressed and angry about it, but just kept plugging along and ended up losing 2 pounds the next week. Weight loss isn't linear and if you give up, you'll NEVER see the "skinny" image. Just keep logging and exercising. You WILL get there, I promise. Being patient for 2 pounds next week is better than giving up. You will NOT always be the large girl with tight clothes forever. Just persevere. It's hard when that stupid scale doesn't respect your hard work, but it WILL. That number will budge and it feels FANTASTIC when it does!

parkscs

I weigh myself daily but I don't really set any hard and fast goals. I have no target weight in mind for March, other than lower than it is right now. What I've found is that weight loss is surprisingly erratic, at least for me. I average about 2 lbs a week, perhaps 2.5, but some weeks I will lose maybe 1 lb, whereas other weeks (like this one) I'll see 4 pounds drop off in the span of a few days. But I've seen the scale go up from the previous day's weight nearly as often as I've seen it go down, so I just focus on the moving average and ensuring that's pointed in the downward direction.

Honestly I think weighing yourself, at least occasionally, can be a good thing because you need to identify when your current routine is not working. If you haven't lost any weight or inches in the last 4-6 weeks, I would say that you need to make a change to your routine. Either focus on using your food scale more, drop your calories by 100-200 calories per day, readjust your macros, or look to make some sort of change so that you'll continue making progress.

HeatherGTaylor

Thanks everyone! Honestly I've only been committed to this for the last 2 weeks and I think I just had my expectations set WAY to high for 2 weeks.

How do I get away from those "expectations" of how it should go?

sweetpea03b

Girl, do I ever hear that! I have been back on MFP for almost 10 MONTHS and I'm only at 7# lost. My habits weren't too bad to begin with.. but I am very sedentary so its been a long battle for me. I was losing consistently after I started New Rules of Lifting for Women... but I'm on my second week of a horrible plateau (how is that possible?? i've only lost 7#!) but you know what? I have this pair of pants hanging up in my closet that I wore when I was my smallest (size 10).... and I just keep looking at those pants... trying them on now again to remind myself that I am SO CLOSE! I just need to lose a few more inches to be able to wear those pants comfortably (I can button them now but they cut me in half). So obviously I can't stop now... I mean... 7# is 7# and I worked hard for every one! Not to mention the fact that I went from a size 16 to a size 12 with only 7# lost. That's pretty awesome. Just keep going... because EVENTUALLY if you keep at it... the weight will go. It HAS TO. Just keep going.

smokeytex74

Just looking for reminders that this journey is not about how skinny I can get but being healthier.

I'm currently 234 and I thought (silly of me) that I'd be in the 220's in 2 weeks. I lost about 5lbs in a week and my silly head started thinking I would be dropping the weight so quick I'd be that skinny image (around 180's) by March.

I had promised myself NOT to weigh because it does such a number on my head but I feel skinnier and I just had to know. Now I feel so defeated like this weight will never drop off and I'll be healthy but very large with tight clothes forever.

I took my measurements and even went up and inch on my waist and hips from December.

I know it's the wrong mind set but that stupid number has me in a mode of "what's the point".

Anyone been in the same boat? What did you tell yourself to remember that this is a long process and to stop feeling so sad?

I was there a few weeks ago, asking myself the same question.. what's the point and why am I even doing this? I only see 1 to 2.2 lbs. lost a week and that is IF I'm lucky.. as there has been a couple of weeks where the scale didn't move or I gained. Stay with it, as long as you see ANY kind of progress, it is worth it. It may be as simple as feeling better each morning you wake up, a shirt or pair of pants fitting just a little bit better than yesterday, or being able to bend over without loosing your breath. Hang in there, slow and steady wins the race. .. feel free to friend me..

mindyvanwesten

Do not focus on the scale. Take photos of before and after or through like every month or two months. the scale is just a number. you can change from day to day depending on fluid intake and salt intake, if you are bloated and what not. Worry about inches. That is what matters. Inches is how your clothes will fit. If you are losing weight you could be gainning muscle and muscle weighs more than fat.

crazybookworm

Hang in there, girl! I was definitely in the same boat. My starting weight was 252. I was the type of person where I could only weigh myself and take measurements monthly, or else I would just drive myself nuts. There were definitely ups and downs, but I didn't give up, and you won't either! The journey MAY seem long, but trust me, the time will fly by when you look back. The time will pass anyways, so make the most of it!

You can do this!

MrsAustin1480

You won't stop thinking it should go faster (I've been at this for almost a year and STILL think I should lose 2 pounds a week EVERY week even tho I'm close to goal). However, I just tell myself every day that a lower number, lower bf % and better stamina is worth it in the long run. It's taken me 11 months to lose my weight and I don't even want to contemplate the time it'll require for a recomp...but I'm better than I was last year/last month/yesterday and THAT keeps me going.

ItsCasey

I weighed myself on day 1, and I didn't weigh myself again for the entire first year. Ever. I'm really not kidding. It worked for me because I knew I had a lot of weight to lose and that I wasn't going to lose it in a few months, so what difference did it make if I lost 15 lbs one month and 12 lbs the next month? I didn't care about that part. I cared about the long-term. Just one person's experience.

TriShamelessly

The question you have to ask yourself is this - do I want to be thinner or more fit for only a couple of weeks, or is this a lifetime commitment to reach and maintain a healthier weight? If it's the latter, than 2 weeks is but a blip on the radar screen. Keep pluggin' away and it will come off - most likely in fits and starts.

FattyFatsoMcTubby

Rapid weight loss is not a good goal to have. Rapid weight loss is not sustainable and people who do it almost always put all the weight or more back on. I know all about this. Slow and steady wins this race. It has to be a lifestyle change to be sustainable, and if it's a lifestyle change you are making, you don't need to be a specific weight by a specific date. Maintain a calorie defict and you will get to where you want to be.

cwolfman13

Thanks everyone! Honestly I've only been committed to this for the last 2 weeks and I think I just had my expectations set WAY to high for 2 weeks.

How do I get away from those "expectations" of how it should go?

understand that 5 Lbs per week or whatever is completely unrealistic...you lose a lot of water weight initially which accounts for bigger drops early on...but really, anywhere from 1/2 - 2 Lbs per week...with 2 Lbs actually being a lot of actual fat to lose in a week is realistic.



^^^that's what an actual pound of fat looks like...it's nothing to shrug at. This is a marathon, not a sprint...you have to get into this for the long haul...it's not overnight.

aelphabawest

Shoot for a 1.5 lbs a week. If it's more than that, you'll be pleasantly surprised. If it's less than that, it's still progress. 2 lbs is a really hard (and, after a certain weight, unrealistic/unhealthy/hard to maintain) pace to keep.

Shawver83

I try to weigh myself only once a month, any more than that and I'd be in tears! I've been on MFP since August and only dropped 16 lbs., probably because I have a very sedentary job and lifestyle. I plan to keep plugging away at it, though. I've hit a plateau and even gained a couple pounds here and there, but they slowly came back off. It's frustrating for me because even though I've lost 16 lbs I still haven't gone down a size. My size 16's are a bit looser, but still nowhere near being too big, and the next size down won't even go over my hips. It's discouraging that I'll probably have to loose 25 to 30 lbs to even go down one size at this rate! But, as long as the scale goes down, however slowly, I'll take it.

klyn7788

I focus on how my clothes fit ... I have a hard time seeing changes day to day and my scale is fickle.

tesha_chandler

Just eat a limited, healthy amount of calories, drink plenty of water, exercise and trust your body! The average adult human body is roughly 60% water. Your body uses water for most all bodily functions. When you work out, your muscles get slight tears (this is why they get sore, but it's not a bad thing) and your body will retain up to 4 pounds of water to repair those muscles after working out. Your body knows what it's doing, so trust it and treat it right The weight will come off before you know it.
( Sorry if this was a little off of the topic, I just wanted to give you my perspective on it. A few weeks ago, I had been dieting and working my butt off to lose weight. When I stepped on the scale the day of a huge workout, I was the same weight, down to the ounce, of what I had been a few days before. I threw a fat-girl fit, cried and then I done some research! I waited 2 days for my body to heal the muscles, stepped on the scale and I had lost 3 pounds. So, it goes back to what I said, trust your body. It's working for your benefit )

auntiebabs

Thanks everyone! Honestly I've only been committed to this for the last 2 weeks and I think I just had my expectations set WAY to high for 2 weeks.

How do I get away from those "expectations" of how it should go?

I think shows like "the biggest loser" set folks up to have false expectations. But those folks are live breathing weightloss 24/7 and from what I read a lot of them end up gaining back the weight once they go back to their "real lives"

I was happier once I gave myself a range:
ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.

---

(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)

---

As long as I stay under my TOP OF RANGE I will continue to lose until I get to my goal, As long as I don't go over my SAFETY VALVE I shouldn't gain. (bearing in the numbers MFP gives you are generalizations) It was a way to remind myself that even if I couldn't do 1200 a day I was still doing a lot better that I was doing before MFP.

++Only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Forget I *NEED* to lose 20, 30, 50, 100 lbs. I'm only worried about 1 lb the next one. I'll worry about the others later.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )

Keep an eye on overall trends as long and you are consistently moving in the right direction you doing okay.
I think of losing weight like the stock market. Yes, there will be fluctuations but as long as the trend is consistent I'm doing well.

In the end it's all about maintenance... The slower you lose the more you learn about eating healthy for maintenance. For my last 10 lbs. every time I lost 1 lb I added 100 calories back so that by the time I got to my goal I wouldn't have to learn another way of eating for maintenance.

maracuya23

For me, one of the biggest challenges was realizing that I'd spent MANY years vaguely believing those magazine headlines at the checkout line: "drop 10 pounds this week", "20 lbs off by summer!", etc. Sure, rationally, I knew they weren't true, or if true setting me up to yo-yo forever.

Almost a year in now, and somewhere between 21-23 lbs down, I have adjusted my expectations for how quickly I can lose weight in a realistic way. When I started last year, I was 198, and did all the math and made charts about how much I'd weigh in 1 month, 6 months, etc. After my first week, I was sure I'd hit goal weight by Christmas (-63lbs).

Then I hit a 3 month plateau, found out I am hypothyroid, and had to really confront my expectations.

For me, the most helpful thing has been realizing that I can totally do this forever. I know how much to eat and what foods make me feel the best. I figured out my TDEE, and very consistently eat under that, even when I'm hungry. I usually aim for a 350ish/day deficit, but if I can't swing that, I still eat under my TDEE. I lose 2 lbs a month. Which sounds insanely slow if I'm expecting to lose the way magazines and supplements and The Biggest Loser think I should. But I just went on a hike that I did this time last year, and was amazed at how much easier that hike was this year. And I'm starting year 2 23ish pounds lighter than I did year 1. 23 pounds closer to my ultimate goal. I might never win some prize for losing weight fast, or be on the cover of anything for dropping my weight in a remarkable way, but I'm also sure that I'll never have to lose this weight again.

rassha01

Take pictures and measurements all along the way. The scale only tells a portion of the story!!

pandabearlove105

This helped me, it might help you too!


“Get Off The Scale!

You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

QuietBloom

Thanks everyone! Honestly I've only been committed to this for the last 2 weeks and I think I just had my expectations set WAY to high for 2 weeks.

How do I get away from those "expectations" of how it should go?

I think shows like "the biggest loser" set folks up to have false expectations. But those folks are live breathing weightloss 24/7 and from what I read a lot of them end up gaining back the weight once they go back to their "real lives"

I was happier once I gave myself a range:
ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.

---

(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)

---

As long as I stay under my TOP OF RANGE I will continue to lose until I get to my goal, As long as I don't go over my SAFETY VALVE I shouldn't gain. (bearing in the numbers MFP gives you are generalizations) It was a way to remind myself that even if I couldn't do 1200 a day I was still doing a lot better that I was doing before MFP.

++Only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Forget I *NEED* to lose 20, 30, 50, 100 lbs. I'm only worried about 1 lb the next one. I'll worry about the others later.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )

Keep an eye on overall trends as long and you are consistently moving in the right direction you doing okay.
I think of losing weight like the stock market. Yes, there will be fluctuations but as long as the trend is consistent I'm doing well.

In the end it's all about maintenance... The slower you lose the more you learn about eating healthy for maintenance. For my last 10 lbs. every time I lost 1 lb I added 100 calories back so that by the time I got to my goal I wouldn't have to learn another way of eating for maintenance.

I really like this approach!

auntiebabs

...but I'm better than I was last year/last month/yesterday and THAT keeps me going.

^this :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

turtlebeach

"parkscs" - "just focus on the "moving" average. This is the best kept secret. Weight yourself everyday, and focus, focus, focus, on the "moving" average. "parkscs" knows of what he speaks.

hmaddpear

Yeah, that feeling has managed to scupper every diet I've ever been on (that and the deprivation. 100kcal diets are awful!) This time, when I hit my first stall (at about three weeks in - fairly usual), I'd already read a lot of posts on the forum and was intellectually aware that the weight would finally start to move again. But the best things were a) using a lot of different measurements to show progress - such as clothes fitting better, tape measurements going down, being able to walk a little faster, realising I could stand on one leg without falling over - and b) having MFP friends to rant to.

If you're sure you're in a deficit, then the scale will finally budge. This article really helped as well: https://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/of-whooshes-and-squishy-fat.html

chantels1

The first week is easy as everyone loses a bunch the first week, and then after that they get discouraged. It really does suck that weight loss is not that easy, but neither is weight gain. It doesn't go on that fast, it won't come off very fast either.

Some people will tell you not to weigh very often. But that did not work for me. I have a scale OCD. I weigh everyday, and keep track of it. I don't add it to MFP everyday. Just keep mental note and once or twice a week I will add it to mfp. Why? Well because I need the motivation and reward.

However your goal determines your motivators as well. How about instead of choosing a weight, you chose a bf%. This number can not be tracked accurately every day. It is easier to do every 2-4 weeks. Purchase $3.00 calipers off ebay, and once or twice a month measure your bf%. It is not a frequent reward system like weighing daily or weekly, so less discouragement when you hit plateaus.

Either way try not to get discouraged so easily. This is a long road. Many times people will not drop much or any for 2-3 weeks, then bam all at once they drop 3-4 lbs. Weightloss is not linear. Just because you ate to lose 2lbs this week does not mean your body is ready to let go of those 2 lbs. Or maybe your hormones are interfering and you are retaining water this week. Either way, there are many factors, and you have to be patient.

Ha ha, this is coming out of the mouth of the least patient person I know! Me! ;-) Just keep it up, don't give up and you may get there slower than you hoped, but destination is more important than timing! You can do this!

serindipte

Heather, I am going to point out what may seem like a few harsh realities. Before I say anything, understand that this is *only* an attempt to help and I am not trying to be mean at all. We all enjoy a treat here and there and this is just a quick look and tally to give you an idea of where you may be able to lose a little more steadily.

I took a peek back through your diary and noticed a lot of chocolate, cookies, and alcohol. Entirely up to you where you spend your calories (I think of it like a set amount of money I can spend per day and I have to choose what to spend it on or if I'm going into overdraft and have to pay a fee which would be extra exercise to make up the difference.)

In the last two weeks, just adding up chocolate, cookies, cupcakes, soda and alcohol, you have paid 8960 calories.
To put that into perspective:
That is approximately 2.6 lbs of fat that you would have more likely lost if had skipped them.
That is over 6 days worth of calories at a 1400 daily goal.

This is not counting any fast food, chips, pizza, etc. Those are other calories that you may want to reconsider and try to spend on something less calorie dense and more filling.

There was more than one day that your daily intake was around or over 4,000 calories. I don't know what your exercise situation is and, again, I am not judging but just trying to help put some perspective on why you may not be losing as quickly as you'd hoped.

I wish you wonderful success on your weight loss journey whether it's a half pound or five at a time!

HeatherGTaylor

Heather, I am going to point out what may seem like a few harsh realities. Before I say anything, understand that this is *only* an attempt to help and I am not trying to be mean at all. We all enjoy a treat here and there and this is just a quick look and tally to give you an idea of where you may be able to lose a little more steadily.

I took a peek back through your diary and noticed a lot of chocolate, cookies, and alcohol. Entirely up to you where you spend your calories (I think of it like a set amount of money I can spend per day and I have to choose what to spend it on or if I'm going into overdraft and have to pay a fee which would be extra exercise to make up the difference.)

In the last two weeks, just adding up chocolate, cookies, cupcakes, soda and alcohol, you have paid 8960 calories.
To put that into perspective:
That is approximately 2.6 lbs of fat that you would have more likely lost if had skipped them.
That is over 6 days worth of calories at a 1400 daily goal.

This is not counting any fast food, chips, pizza, etc. Those are other calories that you may want to reconsider and try to spend on something less calorie dense and more filling.

There was more than one day that your daily intake was around or over 4,000 calories. I don't know what your exercise situation is and, again, I am not judging but just trying to help put some perspective on why you may not be losing as quickly as you'd hoped.

I wish you wonderful success on your weight loss journey whether it's a half pound or five at a time!

Oh I know lol. Before these 2 weeks (and a few nasty days last week) I was over board. Thanks for your honesty, I am exercising a more then I ever have before and have cut down TONS from my lifestyle before the 2 weeks but even cutting down doesn't mean the weight will melt off. I'm trying to incorporate the alcohol and chocolate so that this is a lifestyle change (when I cut it out completely I binge and boom back to 4000 cal every day).


Thank you everyone! I feel better about the whole situation and reminded what is important. I am trying to change everyday and thanks to you all I won't "throw in the towel" just because I "think" I should be at a place when I haven't given it enough time or the amount of effort required to be right there MFP People you are awesome!

serindipte

You know which items that are important to you and which you would miss enough to over-indulge later. Very good idea to figure out how to include those in moderation (and even the very occasional excess). I am doing similar in trying to find a way of eating that I can continue to do rather than just cut down to 1200 to lose some fast weight and then gain it all back and more. I was here almost a year ago and did try the 1200. I was able to maintain that.. maybe a month? And then I had just one 2100 calorie chicken strip meal.. and then just this and just that until I was totally ignoring the whole weight thing. Then, on top of that, I stopped smoking and that really did not help at all as far as the sweets. I was a candy *kitten* lol.. I went from 204 to 229 under three months.

This time around, I am looking for modest weight loss and a menu that I can continue to do long term. Something that fills me up, includes more healthy choices, and allows room here and there for the cookies or chocolate.

We can do this!

stormbornkraken

Heather, I am going to point out what may seem like a few harsh realities. Before I say anything, understand that this is *only* an attempt to help and I am not trying to be mean at all. We all enjoy a treat here and there and this is just a quick look and tally to give you an idea of where you may be able to lose a little more steadily.

I took a peek back through your diary and noticed a lot of chocolate, cookies, and alcohol. Entirely up to you where you spend your calories (I think of it like a set amount of money I can spend per day and I have to choose what to spend it on or if I'm going into overdraft and have to pay a fee which would be extra exercise to make up the difference.)

In the last two weeks, just adding up chocolate, cookies, cupcakes, soda and alcohol, you have paid 8960 calories.
To put that into perspective:
That is approximately 2.6 lbs of fat that you would have more likely lost if had skipped them.
That is over 6 days worth of calories at a 1400 daily goal.

This is not counting any fast food, chips, pizza, etc. Those are other calories that you may want to reconsider and try to spend on something less calorie dense and more filling.

There was more than one day that your daily intake was around or over 4,000 calories. I don't know what your exercise situation is and, again, I am not judging but just trying to help put some perspective on why you may not be losing as quickly as you'd hoped.

I wish you wonderful success on your weight loss journey whether it's a half pound or five at a time!

Oh I know lol. Before these 2 weeks (and a few nasty days last week) I was over board. Thanks for your honesty, I am exercising a more then I ever have before and have cut down TONS from my lifestyle before the 2 weeks but even cutting down doesn't mean the weight will melt off. I'm trying to incorporate the alcohol and chocolate so that this is a lifestyle change (when I cut it out completely I binge and boom back to 4000 cal every day).


Thank you everyone! I feel better about the whole situation and reminded what is important. I am trying to change everyday and thanks to you all I won't "throw in the towel" just because I "think" I should be at a place when I haven't given it enough time or the amount of effort required to be right there MFP People you are awesome!

I have to give kudos to serindipte for the kind tactfulness used on that approach. Honest, blunt and I felt as if you could be talking to me. I am with you Heather, it is a lifestyle choice and there are things that need to remain.

Between the two of your posts I see an opportunity for acknowledgment and happy improvement and I have to cheer for the positive vibes I got from you two.

Wishing you both well on your endeavors. :drinker: Cheers to motivation and celebration!