Will Power with Lack of Support at Home

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  • dying_2b_skin3
    dying_2b_skin3 Posts: 60
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    if you red my post you would notice that i suffer from binge eating which came about after years of a abuse. binge eating is a mental disorder and even thorough i know i have it this doesnt stop the horrible condition taking over!!! I try and suround myself with positivity hence why my ticker says no excuses and why i came onto my fitness pal. my ticker isnt working is a Bollox excuse. see bet you that felt like a kick in the teeth yeah? just like your narrow minded jab at my condition. i can not physically stop at one! i eat one i feel bad so i eat another to try and cover my guilt. that just scrapes the surface of my day to day turmoil.

    You can! You just said it yourself...mental disorder... it's all in your head. Mind over matter girl. You can do it. Choose to do it. I am really just trying to help you. It may not be the soft cuddly enabling help you are used to but that kind of help is probably why you are here in the first place. I'm not trying to insult you or "jab" you, just trying to open your eyes to what is right in front of you. Cheer up. Have a great day and remember, mind over matter.
    okay i'll give your advice to the next schizophrenic i come across after i come back from the medieval times! metal health is not just in a persons head! are you for real!!!!!! you are either very naive or uneducated so i supose i cant blame you for your ignorance!!

    http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/recoveringfrommentalillness/2013/07/sound-familiar-you-dont-have-a-mental-illness-its-all-in-your-head/
  • sillyvalentine
    sillyvalentine Posts: 460 Member
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    if you red my post you would notice that i suffer from binge eating which came about after years of a abuse. binge eating is a mental disorder and even thorough i know i have it this doesnt stop the horrible condition taking over!!! I try and suround myself with positivity hence why my ticker says no excuses and why i came onto my fitness pal. my ticker isnt working is a Bollox excuse. see bet you that felt like a kick in the teeth yeah? just like your narrow minded jab at my condition. i can not physically stop at one! i eat one i feel bad so i eat another to try and cover my guilt. that just scrapes the surface of my day to day turmoil.

    You can! You just said it yourself...mental disorder... it's all in your head. Mind over matter girl. You can do it. Choose to do it. I am really just trying to help you. It may not be the soft cuddly enabling help you are used to but that kind of help is probably why you are here in the first place. I'm not trying to insult you or "jab" you, just trying to open your eyes to what is right in front of you. Cheer up. Have a great day and remember, mind over matter.
    okay i'll give your advice to the next schizophrenic i come across after i come back from the medieval times! metal health is not just in a persons head! are you for real!!!!!! you are either very naive or uneducated so i supose i cant blame you for your ignorance!!

    http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/recoveringfrommentalillness/2013/07/sound-familiar-you-dont-have-a-mental-illness-its-all-in-your-head/

    Binge eating vs. Schizophrenia? Come on. You don't need to exaggerate. Your mental issues are a drop in a hat compared to someone with schizophrenia. All fantasy aside, it's obvious that you have no intent in even attempting to help yourself and all you really want is sympathy and empathy which I wont give you which is probably the reason you are freaking out now so I will leave you to it. Sorry for your troubles. When you are ready, there is a way out and most of it is improving your attitude. :) Peace out.
  • dying_2b_skin3
    dying_2b_skin3 Posts: 60
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    if you red my post you would notice that i suffer from binge eating which came about after years of a abuse. binge eating is a mental disorder and even thorough i know i have it this doesnt stop the horrible condition taking over!!! I try and suround myself with positivity hence why my ticker says no excuses and why i came onto my fitness pal. my ticker isnt working is a Bollox excuse. see bet you that felt like a kick in the teeth yeah? just like your narrow minded jab at my condition. i can not physically stop at one! i eat one i feel bad so i eat another to try and cover my guilt. that just scrapes the surface of my day to day turmoil.

    You can! You just said it yourself...mental disorder... it's all in your head. Mind over matter girl. You can do it. Choose to do it. I am really just trying to help you. It may not be the soft cuddly enabling help you are used to but that kind of help is probably why you are here in the first place. I'm not trying to insult you or "jab" you, just trying to open your eyes to what is right in front of you. Cheer up. Have a great day and remember, mind over matter.
    okay i'll give your advice to the next schizophrenic i come across after i come back from the medieval times! metal health is not just in a persons head! are you for real!!!!!! you are either very naive or uneducated so i supose i cant blame you for your ignorance!!

    http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/recoveringfrommentalillness/2013/07/sound-familiar-you-dont-have-a-mental-illness-its-all-in-your-head/

    Binge eating vs. Schizophrenia? Come on. You don't need to exaggerate. Your mental issues are a drop in a hat compared to someone with schizophrenia. All fantasy aside, it's obvious that you have no intent in even attempting to help yourself and all you really want is sympathy and empathy which I wont give you which is probably the reason you are freaking out now so I will leave you to it. Sorry for your troubles. When you are ready, there is a way out and most of it is improving your attitude. :) Peace out.
    they are both mental health issues! how is one less important than another?! I cant understand how I'M the one not living in the real world?! I'm on here and eating healthy. I'm exercising every day. I honestly never get or wish to receive sympathy! And im not freaking out. I'm just concerned that we still live in a society that doesn't take mental health serious! you are seriously not sorry for my troubles at all and i honest;y dont need your narrow minded judgemental sarcasm! get out from behind your craft station at look out the window once in a while and you may just find out that the world is not infact black and white!
  • Gatus98
    Gatus98 Posts: 93 Member
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    I'm in the same boat. Thankfully, my partner never prepares meals, so I'm in control of the cooking. He does, however, bring home lots of chips, candy, donuts, cake, etc. on a regular basis. He is naturally slim and does not have a hefty appetite. He forgets to eat all the time, so he can easily eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants. When we first starting dating I packed on a quick 10 pounds. He's perfectly fine with my body thick or thin. Over the years I've just had to really learn to resist the junk food that he brings, and it's been damn HARD! But...I feel really proud of myself when I do resist it. It feels great to have self control! My goals are for my own sake, nobody else's. I do hate hearing about all these partners who do not do what they can to support their partners' goals. I understand that it's not mean-spirited, but that's part of being a team. I know that I do the best I can to support my partner's goals when I know that it's important to him. My advice would be to muscle up all the will power that you can and be consistent for a good period of time. Show your husband that this isn't some fleeting notion that you had, and that you are dedicated to your goal. Hopefully, he will take you seriously and do what he can to help you to help yourself. Best of luck! You can do it either way!!!
  • jimgatewood
    jimgatewood Posts: 86 Member
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    I think you're making your husband a scapegoat. He didn't shoved food down your throat. Next time if he pushes, take a bite and tell him that its enough. You have a great tool at MFP to track how much you can "indulge" and you have a decent bit of room to indulge I think.

    As for will power, that is just something as an adult we need to learn. Part of growing up. It sucks.



    ENOUGH SAID.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Nobody said it would be easy. At the end of the day, only you can make the changes, regardless of what temptations there are.
  • AshTrixxy
    AshTrixxy Posts: 507 Member
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    I think you're making your husband a scapegoat. He didn't shoved food down your throat. Next time if he pushes, take a bite and tell him that its enough. You have a great tool at MFP to track how much you can "indulge" and you have a decent bit of room to indulge I think.

    As for will power, that is just something as an adult we need to learn. Part of growing up. It sucks.


    ENOUGH SAID.

    Wow. Thanks for the motivation and support. I don't use my husband as a "scapegoat" for my bad decisions. I never said he forced me to eat and I don't blame him for what I eat. All I'm saying is that he is a weakness of mine that I give into just like the food I eventually eat is a weakness. I like talking about my weaknesses so I can understand them, see how others have handled similar weaknesses and develop tools to make them strengths. I don't need any more negative responses, I've got enough of them as a soundtrack in my mind.
  • dying_2b_skin3
    dying_2b_skin3 Posts: 60
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    I'm not feeling motivated at all on here 0.o
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    First, stop thinking of food as "good" or "bad". You can have whatever you want as long as it fits into your calorie goals. Of course, you can eat a lot more food if it is a lower calorie option. But don't restrict yourself to never having treats. So, portion size. Have one chocolate, and count the calories. When out to dinner, make wise choices, grilled chicken and veggies, or get a takeout box at the start of the meal and put half your dinner in it. You have to make it something you can do for always, or else you will just gain the weight back after you stop the "diet". You need to be consistent, and after awhile he will see that you won't be swayed beyond what you decide will fit into your calories for the day.
  • shannonin
    shannonin Posts: 130 Member
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    Maybe you could talk to him about what is supportive, and what is making things more difficult. I've talked to my husband about how he doesn't need do things with me, but I would like him be supportive with my goal of getting healthy and what that would look like for me. It really helps when you feel like your other half is encouraging you not detracting you from your goals. Yes I know they aren't forcing us to eat anything but it's nice when the person you count on most can be a cheerleader instead of someone that tempts you to indulge.
  • AshTrixxy
    AshTrixxy Posts: 507 Member
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    Maybe you could talk to him about what is supportive, and what is making things more difficult. I've talked to my husband about how he doesn't need do things with me, but I would like him be supportive with my goal of getting healthy and what that would look like for me. It really helps when you feel like your other half is encouraging you not detracting you from your goals. Yes I know they aren't forcing us to eat anything but it's nice when the person you count on most can be a cheerleader instead of someone that tempts you to indulge.

    Thank you so much for that! Yes, I will have to talk to him. Last year when I did Jenny Craig, we had that talk and the effects of it lasted all for about a month. I think I will just have to keep re-iterating that I am changing my lifestyle and not that he has to do it with me, but there are things he could do for me to increase my success.
  • shannonin
    shannonin Posts: 130 Member
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    Maybe you could talk to him about what is supportive, and what is making things more difficult. I've talked to my husband about how he doesn't need do things with me, but I would like him be supportive with my goal of getting healthy and what that would look like for me. It really helps when you feel like your other half is encouraging you not detracting you from your goals. Yes I know they aren't forcing us to eat anything but it's nice when the person you count on most can be a cheerleader instead of someone that tempts you to indulge.

    Thank you so much for that! Yes, I will have to talk to him. Last year when I did Jenny Craig, we had that talk and the effects of it lasted all for about a month. I think I will just have to keep re-iterating that I am changing my lifestyle and not that he has to do it with me, but there are things he could do for me to increase my success.

    Exactly! Maybe if you explain why this is important to you he will start being an asset/encouragement, and you (and I) will probably have to keep reminding them.
  • jesmith86
    jesmith86 Posts: 46
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    Support at home makes a huge difference. I'm not saying that my husband had shoved food in my mouth, but when its his turn to cook, it's take out most days. We also fight A LOT about how much I go to the gym, (I used to go in the mornings while he was still asleep! 5am!) but yet that is not good enough, he said I spend too much time there and not enough time at the house....all while he is playing World of Warcraft! I hate video/computer games, I see it as a waste. I generally don't eat "his" food, I have changed that behaviour, but the gym (which I love going to) and playing netball is a huge issue with us. Especially since he told me he would leave me if I got fat....Yes, he said that (he tried to make it into a joke) but even then, if that is what he thinks, then why doesn't he help????? I personally think its because of his insecurities, as he always asks me about my personal trainer, calling him my boyfriend etc.

    So yes, support at home makes a huge difference! Especially when you are constantly arguing about it! You are not alone! :)

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