diet is slowly going down the pan :(

crystalbluewolf13

Been doing really, really well but recently my depression and borderline personality disorder have reared their ugly head to a massive degree! I've been horribly suicidal for weeks now as well as suffering with the depression side of things, i'm not sleeping and i have no energy at all. My GP is aware of this but she can't really do anything been as it was her that made things worse in the first place. She put me on some medications that hadn't been used in like 30yrs and when i reacted badly to them, never returned my calls, didn't inform the pharmacy to take them out of my medication box and was generally her normal useless self (i would change GP but they are all crap in the practice, but because of investigations going on i currently can't swap GP's), she also didn't bother chasing up my shrink referral until Wednesday when i basically told her that if something doesn't get done soon i will probably end up topping myself. Apparently that made her pull her fingers out...i wonder why ¬_¬

Just feel really annoyed though cause if i don't start getting back on track soon i'm going to ruin all my hard work, but it's so damn hard! Especially because i'm eating crap, half the time i'm eating without even realising it, or i'm just generally hungry.

I'm trying to do things to distract myself, but it's getting harder and harder to do this.

Anyone have any ideas what i could do to help? Also because of my BPD and things being set off it's also setting off my anxiety, Fibromyalgia and IBS so i'm in a lot of mental AND physical pain. As well as getting a lot of stomach pain when i eat anything. So just a general ball of pain *sighs*

Zilla100

I wish I was qualified to offer you advice on the medical front, those are some serious issues.

Although I don't have experience with BPD, I can tell you that I am intimately familiar with deep clinical depression, and it is something I've been fighting since I was eight years old. I also have skewed suicidal on and off for years. Exercise on a regular basis will alleviate depression..I know this from first hand experience. If it seems like too much hard work, think of going to the gym in terms of keeping your head straight. For me that makes it less like work and more of a "I have to do this for me." Are there certain forms of exercise that are more gentle on your condition? Swimming? walking?

I looked at your page and you have lost a lot of weight, so congratulations!! I can't wait to get to that point! Please remember how much effort and time it took to drop all that weight, do you really want to go backwards and have to make that up plus the rest of what you want to lose? No, you do not! You have worked too hard to get to this point to undo it now, you must keep going!

Some basic suggestions as far as combating the munchies: Try hot tea as an alternative..hot liquids fill you up. Do not bring home the tasty snack food..if you don't have it around, you can't eat it. If it's at the office, avoid that area. Avoid the "bad" aisles at the supermarket. Try going to bed earlier so that is time not spent snacking.

Hang in there, you are doing too well to let it go now!

(PS: I know you know much more about your condition than I would, but this article says water activities (water aerobics, etc) are supposed to be very good in relieving fibromyalgia pain. I hope you have a pool near you!)

http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/features/fibromyalgia-and-exercise-yes-you-can

cafeaulait7

For the stomach pain and some of the depression/energy, you might try DGL licorice. I take that for my stomach spasms (ulcer and stress and irritating meds). Don't take the kind that's not deglycyrrhizinated, though! It's not safe to take. I take the chewable and just chew a bit when I have butterflies or ate something that is hard on my ulcer.

Then try some Valerian to get better sleep. I won't recommend herbal SSRIs, because those start to get serious. But I do recommend pursuing a good antidepressant for you. I swear by mine, completely (I take Lexapro). I have the kind of biochemical depression that was pretty much just synapse/reuptake issues, though. I know it can be so hard to find the right medication. Best of luck!