okay I'm totally insulted ugh!

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2

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  • AJCM
    AJCM Posts: 2,169 Member
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    I checked out your profile pics, and you are, without a doubt, HOT RIGHT NOW!!!

    With that said, is HE aware that HE was once younger, and fitter, and has undoubtedly become less attractive? Who the h--- is he?

    I can relate - on embarking on this "diet" a male friend of my husband's said, "You will be smoking hot when you lost the weight" - what a jack---! Was I heinous with 20 or 30 extra pounds? So rude.

    Don't sweat it - you look great, and remember what Gloria Steinem says about how women could get so much accomplished, and be so powerful if we weren't always distracted by weight, dieting, appearance, etc.
    :flowerforyou:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    You look great! You are a beautiful woman.

    I honestly think it was an unintentional insult. Sometimes, people say stupid things without first thinking how it sounds. It probably was supposed to be a "compliment"...but came out REALLY wrong!! LOL!

    Don't let it get to you. Just make the age old comment of "I may be overweight, but I am doing something about it and I am beautiful no matter what......what can YOU do about yo face???" LOL!
  • Papaya
    Papaya Posts: 3
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    I like the "How does your foot taste?" response. He really should think through what he is going to say! I agree that the difference between single and motherhood would have an effect on how a male friend might perceive your 'hotness', after all, you are taken and he knows your husband, so that alone takes you off the market and removes his ability (for some men) to look at you in that way. He really said it wrong though... Hopefully he is a little more successful in articulating his comments with his wife!

    I also agree that you should talk to your husband about it- that way he can tell you how sexy you really are.
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
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    ali ali ali-you should know that men (not all) talk a lot faster than they think. Sometimes we need to do the same with them. Be honest with him and let him know that he needs to think a bit faster.
    You are a beautiful woman and from your pictures..you look amazing. Keep up the good work and remember-If you are happy with yourself-that is all that matters.
  • LightenUp_Caro
    LightenUp_Caro Posts: 572 Member
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    Men are so bad with words. It seems like no matter what kind of compliment they give you its always going to have another way to take it.
    But I guess, it is what it is. He is what he is (idiot). And you are what you are (STILL HOT!)

    I'm not sure how I would've handled the conversation. I like to think that I could have some quick smartass rebuttal to put him back in his place, but I probably would've just given him the "I hate you, you are ridiculous" stare.

    Anyway, no worries. If I look as good as you do now after having a child, I will be darn skippy happy! (even though it will be an extremely long time from now...)
    :flowerforyou:
    :flowerforyou:
  • alf1163
    alf1163 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    QUE MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ali, you probably know that word) You know what I am thinking? I think he had the hots for you and since you are with somebody else he is just jealous :laugh: :laugh: And talking about guys that dont think before they speak!!! Many yrs ago, but I have not forgotten it, MY husband told me I was average looking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now he is very conscious that I do get a lot of attention everywhere we go...So, who had the last laugh!!!! One time at a restaurant he was asked if me and my daughter were his daughters!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:
  • athenakay
    athenakay Posts: 15
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    I would have felt the same way that you expressed......I am sensitive about my weight.
    After looking over your profile...YOU ARE STILL A KNOCK OUT! I don't care what size you are.....you are shapely and gorgeous. I like the comment about "how does your shoe taste?" I am glad you came to the message boards with what happened. My mom is the worst to nag me about losing weight. My heart just literally hurts everytime she drops the "you were so beautiful before you got heavy" comments.

    Anyway, I am here, I am going to keep journaling and learning from my dietary slip ups, pick myself up and over the long haul, I will attain my weight loss goals. Okay, I know this was about you and I turned it into me........I could really feel the sting of the comments made to you!
  • ms_michelle2006
    ms_michelle2006 Posts: 24
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    I think you need to bring that to his attention, I would have slapped my husband for saying that. how embarrasing I dont blame you for feeling hurt.:flowerforyou:
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Uggggggghhhhhh.....your foot, his a*s, they should meet sometime!

    For the record, I think you look great the way you are. But the only opinion that matters is yours. Do what you do, girl, and don't let the ramblings of an oblivious moron keep you down!
  • His_Kelly
    His_Kelly Posts: 248
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    You know what I am thinking? I think he had the hots for you and since you are with somebody else he is just jealous

    Ali... this is the first thing I thought too.

    You are beautiful -- inside and out. Don't let anyone tell you anything different!

    :heart: Kelly
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    O-M-G!!! :heart: you guys I can't even tell you how I feel right now...like all misty eyed and refueled up!!!....wow!!! overwhelmed w/ it actually!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH:flowerforyou:

    I am so glad I came here w/ this because knowing my track record for being totally subconscious and defensive I'm sure even though I would have packed that comment down deep, it would have come up again in other ways...like pigging out on brownies or chips mumbling to myself one night when I felt low......well screw it obviously its not working anyway...LOL...sigh....sad but true!

    But NOW...omg NOW...I feel like I have this army of positive friends with me encouraging me and helping me see that how I felt was valid and that "he" was basically not thinking and rude, and I need to LET IT GO! and I will...guys I really will...lol....hearing what you all said it seems silly to let things like this bother us...but we do, old habits die hard I guess....:ohwell: but its all a big learning experience and lifestyle change right?!

    Well wow...thanks again and I only hope that I can one day make you all feel as great and strong as you all made me feel....group hug! lol
    the-more-confident-let-it-roll-off-your-back-or-give-it-right-back-to-em!
    Ali:wink:
  • auntkaren
    auntkaren Posts: 1,490 Member
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    I can't believe your husband didn't say something to him. Men:grumble: Well hubby has grown comfortable with you, as marriages should so no he probably isn't understanding what your wanting to change your health . That guy was an Idiot!!! Like to see what men would look like after carrying a baby for 9months, the weight gain, stretch marks, hips get wider. Guess the book Woman from Venus and Men from Mars still hold true:happy: Just brush him off your shoulders your doing great , sometimes that old:devil: likes to stick his ugly head up , but you have got God on your side and all of us here at MFP:drinker:
  • jenbar
    jenbar Posts: 1,038 Member
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    Last night while laying in bed, I was lifting my leg and telling my husband to feel the muscle on my hip and side of my butt (b/c I'm proud of what's happening to me legs) and do you know what he said!...
    "You're ruining my butt" (he was talking about MY butt) and he likes to "squish it" before he goes to bed. I said, "Ruining it?!!! I'm making it better and harder!"
    Apparently he likes it squishy, but I don't, so I don't care what he says!
    (and I really don't think it will ever NOT be squishy!) just more toned!
  • charny164
    charny164 Posts: 175 Member
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    Congrats to you for not sticking the celery right up his nose! Not an expert on men by anymeans but being together with my hubby for a few years and having his friends around just tells me that sometimes when men (ok not only men but for this instance, men) don't always think before they talk. Its like it skips the brain and just spews out the mouth.
    I'm sure he didn't mean to be insensitive or rude or anything.
    We are all trying to lose weight to be healthy. The reality is that most of us are losing weight to look better as well. There is nothing wrong with that. Who doesn't want to hear a car horn honk at our nice butts as we're walking or have someone ask for your number or the best.....catching someone second glancing at you. We are human and we want to look good. Why else do we pick out our clothes, fix our hair, paint finger and toe nails and wear make up. Its not like we see it - everyone else does though.
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    lol oh no aunt karen...my hubby has no idea this happened....he'd either tell me, "babe, you're still hot to me and that's all that matters!" lol which is very sweet!!! OR he'd want to kick his butt LOL...either way...I just figured it was best not to mention it to him lol

    and OMG jbaranello lol! how cute is that....awwww guys can be sooo sweet!!!

    thanks again everyone!!!! and its so funny....every time I see this dude today in the office I've got this smug smirk on my face cuz i feel like...ha....everyone thinks your a peice of work pal! lol....tee hee!

    he's known for his snide remarks and trying to give a dig to be funny....so I think the verdict is out on his intentions for my lovely comment....either way...who cares....I love this place! lol

    hugs!
    Ali
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
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    You look great and what do you expect your a mom now!?!


    :indifferent: ....What!?!?!

    Ok, ok, I don't want to echo the husband thing, (even though I did) so I will make comment in a different manner...

    This reminds me of a few months back, I started dating this girl, and we happened to go by my house for a few minutes. As she was sitting there she started flipping through a photo album I had there, and she came across this pic of me a few years (and pounds) ago. Now granted, this pic of me was when I was TOTALLY in my prime, but she completely lost it. She was practically making love to the picture, she was like 'OMG!!! This is you!?! I can't believe it!?! You were so freakin HOT!!!' I was like, 'thanks! 'Then she was like, 'What happened!?!' :indifferent:

    Let the motivation roll!

    Anyway, she ended up taking that picture with her, I am concerned for its fate.

    I know how you feel Ali, but take solace in knowing that you are taking steps to recover the old you. Also take solace in knowing that you have a guy that loves you no matter what (and that counts for a lot honestly).

    I also have to admit, that I would trade six pack abs, a toned chest, and muscular arms (oh and a cute butt, but I still have that, teehee... :noway: ) for children of my own. You are blessed Ali, no matter what some old jerk thinks!!!

    *this two cents provided courtesy of the letter, K, S, and the number 7*

    Oh. and just so you know, I do think you look beautiful, you're hubby is a lucky fellow. (and maybe you should listen to him, he's actually right!) :happy:

    -Jeremy
  • abbychelle07
    abbychelle07 Posts: 656 Member
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    Anyway, she ended up taking that picture with her, I am concerned for its fate.

    This girl seems a little weird! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    lol...I agree! I bet your sad that one got away huh jeremy! lmbo....phew we call that a close call w/ a nut job boy!!!:wink:

    lol thanks though for the kind words too,:flowerforyou: and I do feel blessed w/ this beautiful boy of mine:heart: ....even when he's giving his momma more gray hairs by showing how high up the tree he can climb or even when he thinks its funny to hide...like a ninja and have me calling his name and looking everywhere w/ frieght on my face and then pop out to laugh at poor o' momma saying "oooo here I am!" lmbo...

    the o' jerk can't take that away from me! lol:tongue:

    hugs you guys are the best!!!
    Ali
  • slimsuccess
    slimsuccess Posts: 47
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    I was looking at your pictures. You look like you are beautiful. You are still hot. Try not to let that comment get you down. You already have to battle with wanting to eat and let go, don't let a comment be another obstacle. I hope you understand what I mean. Do this for yourself, not for comments, or approvals, they will come in time.
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    thanks so much slimsuccess yes I do know what you mean and you're right!!! I don't know about hot or beautiful but thanks girl!!! lol you're sweet!!!

    hugs and I'm glad I have you all on my side!!!
    Ali

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