oohhhh Atkins, what have you DONE to me??

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So I saw a commercial for free Atkins meal bars. The uber-cheapskate in me thought, "Hey, free food! What's not to love, right?" Caramel Double Chocolate Crunch! That sounds like candy! Yay! So - hey, Atkins, thanks for the free candy bars! (Right?)

Ooohh, ooohhhh, OOOHHHH my aching belly! Glanced at the ingredients but didn't actually read (*forehead slap*) so I didn't see the maltitol. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Didn't plan to spend the evening on the toilet, but there I've been for the past few hours. :sick:

I am SO going to weigh tomorrow morning. I must have flushed away at least half my body weight. Thanks for the "cleanse " Mr. Atkins. Now I know exactly what to buy the next time I'm constipated.

Replies

  • riginthering
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    yup! Sugar alcohols ftp!
  • Sashoi
    Sashoi Posts: 295 Member
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    Lol wow
  • sunnyeuphoria
    sunnyeuphoria Posts: 85 Member
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    LOL!!! Same thing happens to me when I ingest propylene glycol.... it sucks
    Guess that old saying rings true- nothing worth having is ever free lol
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
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    I eat these things pretty regularly ahem without issues. and I am sensitive to other things. sorry it made u hurt! they taste decent.
  • CB2CS
    CB2CS Posts: 14 Member
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    I can handle one a day but don't let me eat 2.....
  • JaniePapageorgio
    JaniePapageorgio Posts: 142 Member
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    Wow! Hope you feel better.

    Have you guys seen the... erm... "explosive" reviews for sugar-free haribo gummy bears?

    http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC
  • WestCoastWild
    WestCoastWild Posts: 147 Member
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    I literally just copied the same link to post, about the gummie bears. For when you build up a tolerance for Atkins bars :)
  • togmo
    togmo Posts: 257
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    The lower calorie bars that aren't loaded with sugar or contain artificial sweetners contain sugar alcohols which for me are the lesser of three evils.

    Your choices in protein bars are basically
    1. sugar (somewhat natural but higher in calories and too much sugar isn't good for you)
    2. sugar alcohols
    3. artificial sweeteners, primarily Sucralose (955)

    I have been eating a lot of the swisse recover bars (Australian thing, don't know if you have them in the states) that contain glycol and maltitol and I haven't had any noticeable problems, perhaps I am a little more regular but not noticeably more so. I have had some problems with what I can only assume is Sucralose or Ace-K in the past but the doctors couldn't confirm what it was exactly. All I know is that the only change in my diet which caused my problem was an increase in protein bars and protein powders loaded with artificial sweeteners and that when I went to natural protein powders and sugar alcohol based protein bars my problem went away.

    I guess I should give up protein bars all together and stick to natural, unsweetened protein shakes with MILO!
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Diets in general are bull if you ask me, particularly Atkins.
  • ciki90
    ciki90 Posts: 51 Member
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    Oh man, I feel your pain. The same thing happened to me when I bought Joseph's Sugar Free Syrup from Whole Foods. I couldn't even stand up straight, my stomach was killing me so badly! I learned my lesson with too many sugar alcohols though, these days I'd much rather just eat the real thing and take the calories. The ONLY no-cal sweetener I can handle is liquid stevia -- not even that Truvia stuff. That's not real stevia. >___<
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    So I saw a commercial for free Atkins meal bars. The uber-cheapskate in me thought, "Hey, free food! What's not to love, right?" Caramel Double Chocolate Crunch! That sounds like candy! Yay! So - hey, Atkins, thanks for the free candy bars! (Right?)

    Ooohh, ooohhhh, OOOHHHH my aching belly! Glanced at the ingredients but didn't actually read (*forehead slap*) so I didn't see the maltitol. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Didn't plan to spend the evening on the toilet, but there I've been for the past few hours. :sick:

    I am SO going to weigh tomorrow morning. I must have flushed away at least half my body weight. Thanks for the "cleanse " Mr. Atkins. Now I know exactly what to buy the next time I'm constipated.

    Dr Atkins was not an advocate of eating processed foods.

    That is the makings of the Atkins Nutritionals Corporation that is using his name to invent their crappy food.

    Stick with the real food. Proteins, fats and lots of green, leafy vegetables.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I've found out I can eat one protein bar a day, any more than that.. ouch.
  • fortally
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    Dr Atkins was not an advocate of eating processed foods.

    That is the makings of the Atkins Nutritionals Corporation that is using his name to invent their crappy food.

    Stick with the real food. Proteins, fats and lots of green, leafy vegetables.

    Well, no disrespect was actually meant to Mr. Atkins. Sorry if his fans were offended (and that sarcasm was lost on you). Really I was making fun of my own stupidity for eating a *fake* candy bar. That's why it was so ironic and miserably funny to me - almost everything I eat is *real food.* I have exactly two packaged foods in my house right now - Velveeta and tortilla chips, both of which are leftover from the Super bowl. (I'm a believer in IIFYM and had a big plate of nachos on game day.) Most days are whole eggs, lots of fruit, real cream in my coffee, real meat, every veg. under the sun (harvested from my 1/8 acre garden) - I'm sure you get the idea. There is NOTHING "diet," "low-fat," "fat-free," "low-carb," or "sugar-free" in the house. Probably why the Atkins bar wreaked such havoc to begin with.

    Sorry if the post offended. Not for everyone, I guess. Funny to me (this morning, anyway - not so much last night) because I did it to myself and should have known better.

    BTW - the gummy bear reviews were HYSTERICAL. Laughed myself silly, choked on my oatmeal, and sprayed coffee all over the desk! :laugh:
  • pianolover2012
    pianolover2012 Posts: 168 Member
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    As a Celiac, I feel your pain! Imagine feeling that way EVERYTIME you eat something with gluten in it! Life is cruel! Hope you feel better!
  • ayalowich
    ayalowich Posts: 242 Member
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    So I saw a commercial for free Atkins meal bars. The uber-cheapskate in me thought, "Hey, free food! What's not to love, right?" Caramel Double Chocolate Crunch! That sounds like candy! Yay! So - hey, Atkins, thanks for the free candy bars! (Right?)

    Ooohh, ooohhhh, OOOHHHH my aching belly! Glanced at the ingredients but didn't actually read (*forehead slap*) so I didn't see the maltitol. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Didn't plan to spend the evening on the toilet, but there I've been for the past few hours. :sick:

    I am SO going to weigh tomorrow morning. I must have flushed away at least half my body weight. Thanks for the "cleanse " Mr. Atkins. Now I know exactly what to buy the next time I'm constipated.

    How is this Atkins fault because you didn't read the label?
  • selfepidemic1
    selfepidemic1 Posts: 159 Member
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    They raise your sugar levels too, even though its "fake" sugars. So its really not worth it.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    Dr Atkins was not an advocate of eating processed foods.

    That is the makings of the Atkins Nutritionals Corporation that is using his name to invent their crappy food.

    Stick with the real food. Proteins, fats and lots of green, leafy vegetables.

    Well, no disrespect was actually meant to Mr. Atkins. Sorry if his fans were offended (and that sarcasm was lost on you). Really I was making fun of my own stupidity for eating a *fake* candy bar. That's why it was so ironic and miserably funny to me - almost everything I eat is *real food.* I have exactly two packaged foods in my house right now - Velveeta and tortilla chips, both of which are leftover from the Super bowl. (I'm a believer in IIFYM and had a big plate of nachos on game day.) Most days are whole eggs, lots of fruit, real cream in my coffee, real meat, every veg. under the sun (harvested from my 1/8 acre garden) - I'm sure you get the idea. There is NOTHING "diet," "low-fat," "fat-free," "low-carb," or "sugar-free" in the house. Probably why the Atkins bar wreaked such havoc to begin with.

    Sorry if the post offended. Not for everyone, I guess. Funny to me (this morning, anyway - not so much last night) because I did it to myself and should have known better.

    BTW - the gummy bear reviews were HYSTERICAL. Laughed myself silly, choked on my oatmeal, and sprayed coffee all over the desk! :laugh:

    I wasn't offended as usually there are many people that come in the thread and go on and on about how unhealthy the Atkins place is, blah, blah, blah.......

    I was just stating before the bashing ensued. :laugh:

    Your very fortunate to have the big space for a big garden............my family all plants a few things and we "share" during our growing season and then I also get CSA baskets every week.
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    I was taken over by uncontrollable gas, every day for a week. I finally figured out it was sugar alcohols in S/F granola I had bought. A sugar alcohol will never cross my lips again. They are evil! :devil:
  • TarynAngeline
    TarynAngeline Posts: 95 Member
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    Agreed. They're so addictive though. I made the mistake of eating half a bag of sugarfree wine gums once... needless to say the next 2 days were very uncomfortable. :angry: