Is your spouse threatened by your weight loss??

andeeinevansville

So, I yesterday was a great day...started off by getting the kiddos on the bus..Hubby gets home at 9 am from his night shift. We have some errands to run before he goes to bed for the day...I tell him how well I'm doing on my diet and he says he's proud of me..So we leave, stop by the gas station and what does he bring out??? A stuffed pizza roll for both of us! Ugh...I told him I could not eat that and please don't buy things like that for me anymore..and for the record, I DID NOT eat the pizza roll
I posted this story on mfp and alot of my friends said their husbands did the same thing...that they are insecure of us losing weight..
Is anyone else going thru this?? And what do you do to reassure your spouse that this is a positive thing?? Thinking back when I first started this site and was so excited, my husband said, "you're gonna meet some good lookin, buff guy on there and leave me?"" I just let it go, but now I'm wondering if HE is insecure! Wow...

miqisha

Is your husband overweight? If so try inviting him to work out with you and see if that helps.

My husband isnt insecure about my weightloss, he's pretty supportive.

Sometimes buying that box of pizza doesn't mean he is insecure, but instead of assuming, just have a sit down and talk to him, and see exactly what he is feeling, and if he is indeed insecure them reassure him, that he is wrong.

Either way, you have to keep going for you, he will get his act together soon enough, if he is indeed jealous.

Congrats on the weight loss...yeah you!!!

Amandac6772

For the most part my husband has been ok with it except he's tired of hearing me talk about it. I really and truely think he has no concept of how many calories is in anything or how to eat healthy. So when I say I only have 500 calories left for supper and can't eat the macaroni and cheese he thinks that's silly because in his head there is no way mac and cheese has 300 calories a serving. I've been trying to educate him on different foods but he's just not into it right now.

fitterpam

I don't know that threatened is the right word - frustrated is more like it. MY DH knows that he's stuck with me for the rest of his life so he's not worried per se about that. We eat the same foods, he exercises more than I do. Every other time we've tried to lose weight, he's taken it off in spades and I get left behind - usually when he hits 25, I've hit 10. This time, I'm weigh (pardon the pun and the spelling) ahead of him - 42 to 12. He's frustrated because it's always been easy for him. He's slowly getting into this site and finding out that he's usually got a deficit on his calories of over 1000 because he's eating the same as me and his extra exercise and extra calorie allotment both mean he should be eating way more.

Now that he's focused on the right things - it means busting out the night snacks in front of me....LOL and that's a little tortuous for me, but it's all about being supportive in the right ways - even for me.

Melanie1967

My husband had never said a word about my accomplishments here, and still, 76 pounds later, never has in a round about way. I finally confronted him, in tears, after 40 pounds off. He said. "I loved you just the way you were, and we both know how many times you have tried to loose weight and failed. If I tell you that you look good now, and you gain it back, you will think I no longer think you look good." I guess that makes since. coming from a man. I went out and bought my first non-obese pair of jeans 2 day's ago, a 17 L.E.I, that my daughter picked out. Compliments from everyone, but him. UGH! His round about way of complimenting is "your smaller then your daughter now". As for the food thing, we went through that at first. He would say, I couldn't buy for me, and not for you, or, I know your hungry and there's nothing healthy in there to eat and you have to eat something. Now it's, "well, I know your not going to eat there, or I know you won't eat that." LOL! Keep up your good work, and he will come around!

mrsw510

I HUbby has always gone that and in the past I have always caved and ended up gaining my weight back. This time around I have not given in and now not only have I not gained the weight back, he has started working out and has actually lost 40lbs himself.

We were both overweight so I think he was afraid if I got into shape I would leave him and find someone else. Since he can't prevent me for getting into shape he is giving it a go himself.

Melanie1967

That's funny, tired of hearing you talk about it. I am a big facebook addict. My family and friends are all there. I had a friend, of 20 years take me off of her facebook list. She said "I'm tired of hearing you talk about loosing weight. You're not the first, nor will you be the last, fat woman to loose weight." Well, she isn't the skinnest, I think she was jealous! LOL!

Amandac6772

That's funny, tired of hearing you talk about it. I am a big facebook addict. My family and friends are all there. I had a friend, of 20 years take me off of her facebook list. She said "I'm tired of hearing you talk about loosing weight. You're not the first, nor will you be the last, fat woman to loose weight." Well, she isn't the skinnest, I think she was jealous! LOL!

You are right...she probably is jealous and if she can't be supportive of you being healthier what kind of friend is she?

Ellem86

I'm glad to say my boyfriend isn't like that. I was about to jump into the shower without working out today and my boyfriend just said to me "aren't you going to do the Shred today? I thought you were starting level 2?". His little bit of encouragement was enough to get me to work out when I really didn't want to

timbotina

My husband has never been the jealous or insecure type...so maybe that;s why he has always been supportive of me no matter what I do or how I do loosing or gaining weight.....he has always told me I look good no matter what weight I am....and this is a lifestyle change for me so when we go out to eat I usually eat whateever I want so for him.....it's just another day except for at home I usually eat a little healthier...he usually will try everything I make -- liking some of it and hating others...he will go on bike rides, hikes and canoe rides and such but will NEVER exercise with me (he has lucky genes...pretty much eats whatever he want--but not overindulgent--and is 6'1" about 200 lbs so weight has never been an issue for him)....but he has never tried to "Sabitage" (?spelling) me.....and he has always been complimentary so I am VERY lucky to have him.....

pink_butterfly

My guy also wants to lose weight (50lbs), I wondered if he would be supportive as anytime I ever said "Do u really think I can do this?" his answer would always be something like "Time will tell" .... nothing encouraging at all.. but I think he realized I needed that encouragement. He very much supports me on here now, and what I'm doing. I have a goal to lose 20lbs by Christmas and he tells me he thinks that I will pass my goal.. Once he saw me start losing the weight, its like he went completely the opposite and really saw it was making me happy and that I COULD do it.. He also has made the mistake of offering me junk that he is eating himself. I just ask him "REALLY?!?" and then laugh.. I think when he offers me junk, he just has a moment and forgets that I can't eat that stuff. Not that he isn't supporting me, but just that he's so used to both of us eating that stuff.. That he doesn't think of it when he offers. Unless your hubby starts constantly pushing this bad food on you, I'd say maybe he just forgets in that moment. Good luck and I think you are doing a great job!!! And WTG on the willpower to not eat the pizza roll!!!

amyfly

I go through this with my hubby and I finally realized that before I started to lose weight one of the main activities we did together was eat - it was something we shared and a big part of our enjoyable time together (eating pizza and watching a movie or running out for ice cream on a hot summer night). I think when I started to lose the weight he felt a little left out. As I broke habits we had developed together over the years, he was forced to change some with me or continue these bad habits by himself - and lets face it - when your being bad you feel a lot less guilt and shame when someone else is doing it with you. Have patience - you being healthier is a habit he'll have to adjust to too - and, looking on the bright side, at least he was thinking of you when he bought the pizza - maybe not thinking very clearly, but thinking of you all the same:)

vkpmusic

It may also be his way of saying that you're not changing what HE eats! Just hang in there...but definitely sit down and talk to him when you are not upset and feeling threatened. Use a lot of "it makes me feel like" and " it make me think you feel" not "you are" when you describe your take on the situation and that will keep him from getting defensive.

Sparklingrosalie

My Husband at first I couldnt get him to walk with me. No we jumps at the chance just to spend time with me. He always like a bigger woman I worried in the beginning I get to small for him but I have him hooked line and sinker. He will always love me and tell me I'm beautiful if I was 370 pounds or 140 pounds. i'm down to 236.4 yes that 133.6 pounds I shed!