Some of us are just not made to be *that* skinny

nespinosa3

I need some help here...I'm 5'5 and I'm currently at 158lbs, and my goal weight is 145lbs. I just need to vent. I am SO tired of the society telling me that I need to be 120-130 pounds according to my height. I used to suffer so much about this and it got the point where I *almost* had an eating disorder because I was obsessed with being skinny.....until I realized, I will never be what is considered "skinny". The lowest I've been is 130 pounds, and people told me I looked *sick*. My body is naturally very curvy (not chubby, curvy), and at this weight some parts of my body were very skinny while the others remained the way they were meant to be; so I just looked disproportionate and ill. That's why my goal weight isn't even in the 130s. Some of us are just not made to be super skinny and have a gap in our thighs.
How have you dealt with the pressure society puts on us to look "skinny"??

knra_grl

You are doing this for yourself to make yourself healthier and happier - ignore "society's rules" and keep doing what makes you happy.

AngeliaDR

I'm 5'5" as well and look great at 165. (Currently 191, trying to get back to 165) I am busty with a proportionally big butt to go with. At 165 I look healthy and great in a pair of jeans. I was 118 at my lowest in high school. Literally looked like a stick with boobs. I think your 'ideal weight' is whatever you feel good at. I trust my mirror more than my scale.

birdiecs

I've never heard that at 5'5 you have to weigh 120lbs. I'm 5'2.5 and that's my goal weight. 145lbs at your height seems perfectly reasonable. I'm just not one to even pay attention to what's going on "out there" so maybe I'm oblivious to it, but I have never felt pressured to weigh any particular weight. Honestly who cares what 'they' say...whoever they happen to be.

SJ46

Healthy and happy is what matters not some "ideal" body size. 145 at your height is still within the healthy BMI range. I'm sorry you feel you are being pressured to be smaller than you'd like to be, the best advice I can give is to be confident in yourself and be the best *you* you can be.

mohawkRN

I'm also 5'5", but at 158 lbs, I still feel that I need to lose about 20-25 lbs to feel really healthy. I should say, I have NEVER been there - around 150 is the "thinnest" I've been, and I use quotes because even though I am heavier now, I have been working with a trainer for the last year and a half and my measurements are actually smaller than when I was at my lightest..

The point that I wanted to make though was this: my goal weight WAS 125, until I started using a Withings scale. It (supposedly) measures fat mass and lean mass as well as weight. When I saw my "lean" weight, I realized that my goal number might be off, so I googled healthy fat mass percentages instead of weight ranges. The healthy weight range for my height, depending on age, is somewhere between 120-140 lbs. My lean weight is around 106-109 lbs, and I figure that 20% fat is within a healthy range (it's something like 18-22% depending on what you look at). So with my calculations, I'd actually be better off (if I can maintain this muscle) at 133-135, 8-10 lbs heavier than my original goal. So I have about 20-25 lbs to lose. I've never been closed to a healthy weight in my life, and I finally feel like all of the pieces are coming together and have really "clicked" for me this time.

I think we need to find a healthy weight that works and focus on maintaining fitness.

SuperJo1972

It seems as though you are taking a sensible look at your options and aiming for what seems to be a more realistic goal. We are all different and while some people who are to the low end of the BMI healthy range look amazing, others look too thin. Similarly some at the top end of the healthy BMI look fabulous and others look a bit chubby. It really is an individual thing. You will know yourself in your heart of hearts, what works best for you. Maybe set a series of smaller goals and when you reach them, you can always revise them (up or down). But don't feel pressured by supposed body or weight ideals. Take it a few pounds at a time and see how you feel. The main thing is you are getting healthier and fitter in the process. )


I am 5ft 4" . My GP and I had a chat about my goal weight when I was having a few MOT checks, and she suggested that I aim for 11 stone (154lb), with the possibility of trying for 10 1/2 stone (148lb) if it feels right, but that that would be the least she wanted me to weigh for my body shape (I am quite busty and have a decent sized bum as well).
That makes sense to me as it is around the weight I was when I was leaving school.

When I told my Dad I was initially aiming for 11 stone, he seemed shocked, saying I should surely be aiming for around 8 stone. Once I stopped laughing, I explained that I don't have the willpower or the body type to pull that off and that I was aiming for long term health he seemed to get it (but I think he thinks I should be the same weight as my mum who has more of a boy figure). I guess other people's expectations can sometimes get in the way of what we know is right for us.

I want to retain my curves but get to a healthy weight. I am content to be at the top end of the healthy range. My long-term goal is to get to this target weight but also to get strong and healthy, so I hope that my muscle mass will increase over the years, but by then I will be relying on how my clothes fit and how I feel rather than just the numbers on the scales.

SezxyStef

actually 120-130 for a woman who is 5 ft 5 is on the cusp of being underweight.

I would stick with your goals.

castlerobber

actually 120-130 for a woman who is 5 ft 5 is on the cusp of being underweight.

The guideline I've always seen: For a woman, 100 lbs for the first 5', plus 5 lbs. for each additional inch. For a man, 106 lbs. for the first 5', plus 6 lbs. for each additional inch. Don't know how it works for people under 5', or the really tall.

According to that formula, a woman 5'5" "should" weigh 125 lbs. The BMR for 120-130 is 20 to 21.6. Underweight doesn't kick in until a BMI less than 18.5. So, no, hardly on the cusp of underweight.

That said, I agree with the OP. I'm 5'5" and look/feel best around 135-140.

TavistockToad

Stop caring so much about what you think other people think about you... As long as you are happy and healthy ignore the rest.

acogg

<<<<<<I am also 5'5" and when this profile picture was taken, I weighed 125. (I am in the black tank top). I hardly look too skinny. My muscle composition wasn't very developed, so the fat to weight ratio was fairly high. I am trying mightily to ignore the scale (this morning 132) and develop more muscle so that I can look more lean. The number on the scale is just one measurement, if you have nice muscles you will weigh more and look better.

merzback

Good lord who even uses the word SKINNY anymore? Sounds like you are the one still torturing yourself to be SKINNY- not society. Society doesn't care to be honest. And anyone in society that cares isn't worth your time. With that being said, strive to be fit.:)

merzback

By the way, Cancer and holocaust victims are/were skinny. Go for healthy and forget the scale for a minute.

msf74

How have you dealt with the pressure society puts on us to look "skinny"??

I look at the utter idiots who compromise the section of society who think they can dictate what people should look like...and think "the hell with that.."

BigBrunette

I'm 5'5" and have weighed, at various times in my life, 115 to 210. I feel my best at 150, so that's what I'm aiming for. Do what works for you. Ignore "society."

callas444

It's not about society. It's about me. I'm not losing weight for society. Beyond being sick of always being the biggest person in the room, I try not to even think about what others think. I'm kind, funny, generous, and a really great person. That's what defines me.
I think that lots of people need to change their inner talk. Shut that negative talker inside you right up! Skinny- no. Healthy and active and strong- YES. Skinny doesn't make you happy. Having an active life full of the people and things you love makes you happy. Being where you want to be with people who want to be with you- YES! Don't settle for skinny.

Anonycatgirl

I'm almost twice your age and one thing I've learned over my lifetime is that people always have opinions but that doesn't mean you have to listen to them.

Seriously, it sounds like we have a similar body type. I'm descended from generations of big-hipped Irish ladies and look positively bony if I'm at the lower end of a "healthy" weight range. I'm aiming for 135-140 so I have a little wiggle room, mostly because I'm sure I'll gain on my vacation this fall.

skyfall91

I dont really care what "people" think I should look like anymore. Im 5"5 and 152lbs (gained 10lbs over 3 months due to xmas and birthdays/new year) and my goal is 130lbs then see how I feel. When I was weighed 3 months ago by my dr I was 145lbs and she said I was perfect and didnt need to lose more weight for my height/build. Iv started running on the treadmill more and doing different workouts again so Im hoping get back to a uk size 10. I have some jeans that are now too tight when in october they were loose, so I know I need to get stuck back in. I think as long as I look nice in my clothes and dont feel like a whale naked Im happy. Chin up and do what you want with your body, dont let anyone else decide what it should look like x

dlionsmane

Have you heard the term 'skinny fat'? I agree with the poster who said concentrate on Lean Mass and body fat % and the scale number will take care of itself. Oh and don't worry about what other people 'think' you should be. What do you think you should be? And how much effort are you willing to put into to being that?

alphabetsoup2013

I have decided (finally) that I'm the one in charge of how I feel about myself -- and I feel really good at about 154 lbs. That's what I'm aiming for this time. I'm 5'6". Even now, I'm feeling pretty incredible (at 177 lbs.) Why aim for a weight that's lower and unsustainable for me?

frando

Totally agree- my cousin just lost her baby weight but had never been slim but always looked good. Whilst she was loosing the baby weight, she decided to loose a bit more- aiming to be on the slimmer side of what she used to be. Before she even got to her goal weight our grandmother told her she looked ill and not to loose any more.

Looking at the how my family is, wide hipped for a start and even with a slight belly no matter what the size (another cousin, always been slim, is a size eight and has the 'lodge podge'), so I doubt I'd be skinny! I'm hoping to be fit and healthy.

At the end of the day, I'd rather be curvy then skinny anyway!

logicman69

I deal with this all the time. I focus so hard on that number on the scale that I don't see the real progress being made. I might not be at my "ideal weight" (society says 145 for me... ummmm, that was 8th grade), but I look and feel better than I have in years. I might not be there yet, but if this journey has taught me anything, its that I should feel comfortable with myself and that is all that matters.

ThriceBlessed

When I matched your height and gender up with a BMI chart, it told me that a healthy weight was anywhere between 115-145 so who is telling you that you have to be at the lowest possible end of that range? The reason there is a range instead of just a standard number is because different body types need to be in different places. And even then, some people who have a lot of muscle may fall outside the range and still be healthy.

So basically, your goal is healthy, if someone is telling you that you should aim for less just because they think everyone should be a the lowest possible number considered healthy (aka on the verge of being underweight), just ignore them. Set a goal you are happy and healthy at, and aim for that.

Francl27

It depends a lot on your frame, how much muscle you have etc. Go with what you're comfortable with.

I'm 5'5" and 138 right now and I want to lose at least 8 more, but I honestly can't tell if I look good or not - the loose skin on my belly makes it hard to see how much of it is actually fat. So, in doubt, I'm trying to lose more... but I look ok in clothes, even though I have a large frame (you can see the pic in my profile). With that large frame I can tell you I'd never be able to fit in a size 0, heck I don't think I'll ever fit in a 4. So 125 lbs would probably be impossible to maintain for me.

For what it's worth, my doctor was happy when I was 148.

Fuzzipeg

We are all made to be different. Some of us have the dubious benefit of time past, against which to measure ourselves in our different life stages. Well done everyone who knows where they were when they felt at their best, in themselves, for looks and for health. Nature dictates women need a higher body fat ratio than that of men. At puberty the sexes diverge and girls particularly are deluged with the concept that they should not become slightly rounded having the unhealthy, tomboy, sexless figure is what they should aspire to.

I wish everyone the self knowledge to know what is right for them and to know when systems start to go down and the ability to find the best advice they can to keep their life healthy. Clawing back to health is not easy.

sharebear2012

145 pounds at 5.5 puts you at a BMI of 24.1 within a healthy weight zone. Within that 20 to 25 BMI healthy zone (or some sources say 18 to 15) the choice of where you feel good and look good should be your guide. Not external sources. For me at a BMI of 24 I look terrible but opposite of you, small breasted and not curvy. I need my BMI around 22 to look my best and feel my best. Choose the weight goal right for you and you are absolutely right your body with larger breasts needs larger hips to match so a curvy figure suits your body type. Be the best you can be and you are doing the right things!!

Charloo1990

I haven't fully dealt with it unfortunatly but i totally 100% agree with what you're saying. I looked at my BMI recently on the NHS website and it says i should weight between 7st6 and 10st2 at 5ft3. In lbs that's between 104lbs-142lbs. If i was 104lbs i can tell you now i'd look anorexic but oh no, i'd still be considered a healthy weight, wtf! I know i'd look ill at that weight cause my lowest weight was 8st12 (124lbs) and my friends and family were all very worried about me and said i looked gaunt and ill. It's just ridiculous what is expected of us and sometimes i do thing "f**k you society, i'm curvy and proud" but other days it does get to me that i'm not skinny especially cause i have had to deal with disordered eating for nearly 5 years now and while society is the way it is i find it hard to change when there's constant skinny images in my face.

xilka

Good for you!
(for going with what feels right for you)

I too am told that I should weigh 15 lbs less than what I feel is a good weight for me.

5lbs more booty than those poor flat-bootied girls, another 5 in my muscular thighs
(because, who wants toothpick legs, right?) and then another 5 to round it all out.
I'm definitely not made to be *that* skinny, and wouldn't want to be.

cwolfman13

What is this society that is telling you that you should be 120...I've never heard of this.

are you talking about BMI? You realize that BMI is a big range right? you have to take into account your build/frame, as well as muscle composition, etc. for that matter, BMI isn't even the best measure...to get to the very highest of BMI for me, I'd have to get down to 10% BF which would be completely unsustainable long term...I'm not a bodybuilder by any means, but I do have a decent amount of muscle. To get to the middle of the BMI range where I was in my early 20s I would have to not only burn fat, but about 10-15 Lbs of muscle as well....these are the things people do not consider when they're trying to get to some arbitrary number on the scale...they don't really understand what that number is made of.

lilbearzmom

I am between 5'4 and 5'5 and currently weigh 138. As you can probably tell from my profile picture, I look fairly "skinny". I was told 20 lbs ago I didn't need to lose any more weight. I stuck to my guns and now at my lowest adult weight EVER, I am entering maintenance with a goal to reduce body fat and gain muscle...I lost more than fat, unfortunately. As far as what looks good and feels good, it will definitely vary person to person. That's why there are weight "ranges". No one is alike. I am towards the top of my healthy weight range, and look fine. As long as you're healthy, it's what makes YOU happy.

ashleysuperfly

I'm SO glad you posted this! I'm currently 5'6" and 187 pounds. I am pretty damn happy with how I look right now. Do I want to lose more? Absolutely, and I plan on it, but for my height I'm supposed to be like 150 pounds. That's 37 POUNDS from where I am now and I think it is absolutely impossible for me to look good dropping another 37 pounds. I am curvy and muscular (I've played sports since I was 8) and that has to be taken into account. The whole "muscle weighs more than fat" debate has truth to it. Yes, 1 pound of muscle and 1 pound of fat weigh the exact same, but that pound of fat is gonna take up a whole lot more room than that pound of muscle. So all the muscle mass I have is adding to that number on the scale. I want to get to maybe 160. I may get to 165 or something and be like "Nope, gotta stop there." I don't want to look like Rachel on The Biggest Loser.

Anyway, all that to say, I'm glad I'm not the only one to realize that the "healthy weight range" and "BMI scale" is all so general, it's ridiculous. That is, in no way what anyone should base their fitness goals on!