Need help - no self control!

forbiddendonut

I have been logging calories for over a year here now, and have only lost a few pounds. I find myself struggling to stick to my calories almost every single day. I really do eat very healthy for the majority of the day - lots of fruits, veggies, and lean protein. The problem is that at least once or twice a day I will have a weak moment and binge, screwing up all my healthy eating and exercise for the day. My first trigger is afternoons around 3:00. My energy is at an all time low, and it is a very stressful time. The kids are home from school, I have to unpack backpacks, make snacks, do homework with unwilling kids, and then when that's all over, I have to start preparing dinner. The stress always gets to me and I turn to food. I don't even keep that much unhealthy food around the house. I just need to feel full, and it's not hard to go overboard, even on healthy food. My other trigger is night time before bed. It's not stress there. I just get sugar cravings at night, and I'm also pretty hungry from my evening workout. With three small kids, it's not easy for me to get a workout in until after their bedtime. I usually have a lean protein, some fruits or veggies, and Greek yogurt after the workout. Unfortunately I don't feel satisfied until I've had about 400 calories worth of "healthy" food. By that time I'm usually right at maintenance or 100 calories above, with another day of not losing weight under my belt. Does anyone have any pointers for me? I'm so frustrated that I haven't been able to control myself better, because I put a lot of time and energy into exercising and cooking healthy foods!

forbiddendonut

Oh, and maintenance for me is 1700 calories net, so my goal is 1200 calories a day net, for 1lb of weight loss a week. I'm lucky if I can stick to even 1600 calories a day.

1two3four

My first trigger is afternoons around 3:00. My energy is at an all time low, and it is a very stressful time. The kids are home from school, I have to unpack backpacks, make snacks, do homework with unwilling kids, and then when that's all over, I have to start preparing dinner. The stress always gets to me and I turn to food.

I don't know you or your kids or your daily schedule. I only can make suggestions based on my personal experience.

I fully understand how stressful the time between 3pm and 6pm is with 3 elementary school aged kids and a 1 year old. It's it's own special kind of hel--I mean chaos.

To make life easier set a firm schedule. Oldest comes straight in and does their homework, while middle takes the baby while I get youngest squared away with homework while I start dinner. This works because middle is more intelligent than I am and does homework fine independently. I make sure that the table is clear and ready for homework when they walk in the door.

It helps me to have as much meal prep done while they are at school. Either by cooking in a slow-cooker, having something like tacos, prepped--all veggies cut, cheese shredded and meat prepared waiting to be warmed (or being kept warm in the slow-cooker). That way the only thing that has to be done is the shells heated, and the refried beans cooked in the microwave. Cooking dinner several week nights in the slow-cooker. Or having casseroles waiting to be finished in the oven. Leave these easier meals for the week and save more intricate things like roast chicken for weekends.

To be fair, I need to stress that my experience comes not from my own children but from taking care of other children (sometimes for months at a time). Though all of the times have been during very high stress moments (their mother or father being hospitalized). Except for the once when I was taking care of my cousin while his mother was working 13+ hours a day. So, I don't even have the benefit of being the mother.

Also, I've adapted this to work in different situations with different kids, my point isn't so much to follow the plan I laid out but to make some kind of weeknight after school plan and stick with it. Find ways to make dinner easy. To make this time less stressful for you so you can avoid the stress eating.

FWIW, starting when I was 9 I was expected to come home several nights a week after school and start dinner BEFORE I even did my homework and if it was an easy enough dinner I wasn't expected to just start it but make it completely and then after dinner my dad and I would sit at the table and do my homework together (that's a whole other thread but I was that kid that HAD to sit with my parents to do my homework).

Oh, and maintenance for me is 1700 calories net, so my goal is 1200 calories a day net, for 1lb of weight loss a week. I'm lucky if I can stick to even 1600 calories a day.

To lose a pound a week I have to eat no more than 1400 calories. I plan everything. Breakfasts, lunches, dinner and snacks. It's a crappy, crappy thing to have such a low calorie number. I get it. You just have to find what works for you and sometimes that takes a lot of trial and error. Also, since my TDEE is so low I often set my weight loss goal low. For MONTHS it's been at half a pound a week. Maybe that will help you?

I don't know these are only my ideas and your mileage my vary. I wish you lots of luck, with those crazy after school moments and your weight loss

forbiddendonut

Thanks so much for the ideas! I have 2 kids at home with me right now still, and my kids hate casseroles ( or anything where the ingredients are mixed! ) But you make some very good points on how I need to make things easier for myself in the afternoons. I will be thinking about what I can change to make things less stressful. Thank you!!!

Mr_Knight

I just need to feel full...

You're just going to have to get used to feeling not-full.

That's the long and the short of it.

I sucks, I know, but it is what it is...

Qskim

I just need to feel full...

You're just going to have to get used to feeling not-full.

That's the long and the short of it.

I sucks, I know, but it is what it is...

True and you need to aim for sated not full. A deficit means some level of hunger. I have same situation at 3pm...I grab an egg, lettuce and ham wrapped around it. Sometimes two. If I go over my cals, I choose protein to be over with. You really have to be mindful...I'm having dinner soon I can wait until then...

I also treat myself like my kids...you can have that cake but veggies first and inevitably I'll have less of the discretionary cals than I would have if I didn't eat the veg first.

The good thing is that you are aware these times are problematic. You just need to figure out how to rearrange your cals to suit these times. I have dinner an hour earlier some days for example. The kids like that too because I don't let them have anything but fruit or my egg wrap until dinner and then they eat all their dinner...amazing how good cauliflower looks when they're hungry

Also, as another poster said, when I can, I like to prepare dinner before the kids get home. I find I'm more relaxed about where the night is headed rather than stressing over the initial chaos and then thinking (rather grumpily lol) that then I've got to do dinner.

Also perhaps save some cals for a protein shake after workout? Or half your dinner.

JessicaBlackman

Try sugar-free jelly. You get it in the same place as the regular aeroplane jelly. It tastes amazing, and has next to nothing in it- but it makes you feel full and definitely satisfies the sugar craving late at night, which I also experience. Give it a whirl, I guarantee it'll help and keep those calories down

cassylee

Congratulations. The first step is to figure out where the food problems occur. I raised two kids and I didn't figure it out to my kids went to high school and I had time to think and reflect.

JRoosh32

I am the same - i actually first joined about a year ago and did nothing but gain weight

Finally after realising that pretty much nothing in my wardrobe fits - and not wanting to splash on on new clothes in bigger sizes / feel between when I work-out / not feel so tired, I decided to do something about it.

One tip I do have (and it sounds so annoying) is that I do better when I plan. So instead of writing down what I have eaten, hoping to come under my daily allowance (just over 1200) - I plan my days meals to try and keep me under, or gain some extra calories through the gym.

Godblessedmom

What do you do after you work out other than snack? Maybe you need a hobby to keep you busy. I found that I liked to snack in the evening while winding down watching TV. I love to crochet, so now I do that to keep my hands and mind busy. Do you like to do anything for a hobby. Organizing pictures, crafts, puzzles, etc. Don't forget to celebrate small victories when you do break your snacking habit!!! That is the beginning of change!! Good luck!! (I also have 3 kids that keep me busy. They are also my motivation. We can do it!!!)

1two3four

Thanks so much for the ideas! I have 2 kids at home with me right now still, and my kids hate casseroles ( or anything where the ingredients are mixed! ) But you make some very good points on how I need to make things easier for myself in the afternoons. I will be thinking about what I can change to make things less stressful. Thank you!!!

Well, maybe in that case start with one casserole (or really mixed up, slow-cooker meal) every week or two where things are touching... to gradually get them used to the idea. Sometimes it's just 'tough cookies!" (Though I can sympathize, I still don't like certain foods touching but it used to be all of them!!!!!!!!! LOL

kerricus

It sounds like you have 2 habits that you need to break. The eating when kids come home and the eating at night. Those really are habits! And the good thing is that habits can be broken. It's hard, yes, no one will argue that. But it can be done!

I agree with the advice to plan everything ahead of time. I started doing that with my food diary and what a difference it has made!

Also, since I think this is a habit, consider reading up on habits and how to break them. There's a great book out called The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Browse through it and it should help you figure out how to change. I think it's good from a parenting perspective, too. I had the habit of biting my fingernails. If only my parents had read that book it would have saved me years of shame!

bwogilvie

Some great ideas here. Another one: keep low-calorie, filling snacks around for when your tummy feels empty. I eat a lot of dill pickles, and I buy pre-cut celery sticks so I can have celery with a bit of salsa, without having to wash and trim the celery. Since they're mostly water and cellulose, they have very few calories. They don't fill you up for long, but they can get you over the hump. And I find that with a spicy salsa, celery is quite satisfying. Carrots are also good, though they have somewhat more calories.

SephiraRose

Try low calorie snacks with at least 3 grams of fiber per serving along with protein. Good luck.

forbiddendonut

Thanks so much everyone! This is all really good advice. I will try to plan out my meals ahead of time tomorrow.

The picky kids are a whole other issue that do thwart my weight loss to an extent. It's hard to make them happy at meal time, while sticking to my goals. I need to do a better job of making them try new things , and not giving in to eating the same 5 meals throughout the week, just so that I don't hear complaining. Not getting to eat what I want all the time contributes to me being bored of the food and not feeling satisfied. And I already have enough to do without making more than one meal like a short order cook!

I know that I shouldn't expect to feel full all day while losing weight, but that kind of goes out the window during my "bad" moments.

Fixing up the house is kind of my hobby. I am currently painting a clock to go over the mantle, and that keeps me occupied at times. My next project is peeling off the wallpaper in the master bath to paint. I really need to be going to bed after my workout and snack, rather than getting into a hobby, though. I'm usually a little sleep deprived. Like how I need to get off the iPad and go to sleep now, ha!