I'm being honest...

hararayne

I realized to today that I created a Fitness Group for people near me 2 years ago. In that 2 years I have GAINED weight. I know A LOT about weight loss. But for some reason, I just can't get it right. But this is where honesty comes in.

1. I like to eat while I read or sit at my computer. I know that this is auto-pilot eating. I should NOT do it. But I do. Why do I sabotage myself this way?

2. I actually like working out. I like being on the elliptical at the gym and watching my shows, or listening to music, or Zombies, Run. I like swimming. I like going for walks when it's not deathly cold. I like body flow class (basically a yoga/pilates/tai chi mash up) But I don't go. It's too cold. I'm too tired. Waaaaaaaa. I know winter doesn't make it easy for me to take my dumb a** to the gym, but I'm really screwing myself out of something I actually like to do. WTH!

3. I don't know that slow and steady is what is going to win the race for me. I try to be good for a month or two. I even lose. But I think I've gained and lost the same 8lbs every month, and then if I go on vacation, I majorly screw up. So even though I'm trying to do the "lifestyle" thing, I can easily undue whatever progress I've made. It's like I start hitting the weightloss mode and then I trip. It's stupid! I'm way WAY smarter than this. And if I'm not really losing weight, and it's just water weight I'm gaining and losing, well why is there no permanent loss when I am ABSOLUTELY following my calorie deficit.

Which makes me wonder again about my honesty. The first two are dead honest of the last few months since the cold has hit. but the 3rd....I don't know if I'm making excuses or not.

Any thoughts?

bkjk997

1. Instead of trying to kick this habit cold turkey, why not measure out portions of healthy snacks for you to munch on? Portion control and healthy choices will make all the difference.

2. This one is going to take determination to actually do it. If you won't go to the gym, find something you enjoy doing at home. Or find a workout buddy to meet with at the gym (or at home for that matter).

3. Slow and steady is the *only* thing that works - and it works for everyone who does it correctly. You have to make lifestyle changes, or you'll just keep gaining it all back. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

If there was a magic diet or pill, the whole world would know about it. Unfortunately, the only way to lose weight is to consume fewer calories than you burn, consistently over a period of time. The only way to know exactly how many calories you are consuming (and burning) is to log them. Whether you use MFP or some other tool, you have to log to truly know.

Mr_Bad_Example

Maybe you don't know as much as you think you do. There is something to be said for always seeking out new information and different approaches.

When you think you've mastered the game, the game masters you. Or something like that.

creativerick

Do you often set lofty goals and quit mid stream, or is it just a weight loss thing?

SephiraRose

At least your being honest.

hararayne

1. Instead of trying to kick this habit cold turkey, why not measure out portions of healthy snacks for you to munch on? Portion control and healthy choices will make all the difference.

2. This one is going to take determination to actually do it. If you won't go to the gym, find something you enjoy doing at home. Or find a workout buddy to meet with at the gym (or at home for that matter).

3. Slow and steady is the *only* thing that works - and it works for everyone who does it correctly. You have to make lifestyle changes, or you'll just keep gaining it all back. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

If there was a magic diet or pill, the whole world would know about it. Unfortunately, the only way to lose weight is to consume fewer calories than you burn, consistently over a period of time. The only way to know exactly how many calories you are consuming (and burning) is to log them. Whether you use MFP or some other tool, you have to log to truly know.

Everyone says different things. This is the reality of the weight loss game. I made my "fitness group" 2 years ago to find a buddy, and it just hasn't worked out. People don't want to work out late at night when I'm done with work, and most that joined already have buddies.

I already choose "healthy" snacks often. I just eat too much. I eat an apple. Then I measure out a bowl of cereal (I weigh it) and I don't feel satisfied.

But thank you for the reply. I will keep what you have said in mind. But part 3 throws me for a loop still.

hararayne

Maybe you don't know as much as you think you do. There is something to be said for always seeking out new information and different approaches.

When you think you've mastered the game, the game masters you. Or something like that.

What I mean by that is I can quote and give people great advice on how to lose weight. I just apparently suck at following my own advice. I figured I'd give myself some public shaming by posting. Maybe it will help? Though usually negative reinforcement doesn't help.

prattiger65

You are just not ready. When you get ready, you will be successful.

hararayne

Do you often set lofty goals and quit mid stream, or is it just a weight loss thing?

Just a weightloss thing. I set a two year plan for myself to graduate from college, work on finances, and find myself in a stable relationship. I met every goal. Not perfectly, but very close. EXCEPT the weight loss one. Oh the suckage that is me. I've had a solid 6 months of being out of school and I planned to really focus on the weightloss because all the other goals perhaps were too much to do along with that goal. At least that's what someone on here suggested.

It doesn't feel great to be honest, but I'm hoping being honest with myself and others about what I do will help. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. I'm admitting what problems I'm making for myself.

hararayne

You are just not ready. When you get ready, you will be successful.

I was thinking about that the other day. I bought weight equipment. I began reading weight lifting articles on here, and looked at the various books people talk about. As I did this, I recalled the "stages" they teach at Jenny Craig. I can't remember their exact names. But I'm planning. Contemplating perhaps? How do you get to ready?

cyncmt

your not the only one. setting up a routine for the gym helps. i go on my lunch break and after work on sat. nights and sometimes talk myself out of going. and i found popcorn is great to snack on at comp. add a glass or two of water and im usually satisfied and under 200 cal. Act II light is only 105 for 7 cups which is usually what pops in a bag

hararayne

your not the only one. setting up a routine for the gym helps. i go on my lunch break and after work on sat. nights and sometimes talk myself out of going. and i found popcorn is great to snack on at comp. add a glass or two of water and im usually satisfied and under 200 cal. Act II light is only 105 for 7 cups which is usually what pops in a bag

Good idea. I have been trying to increase fluids by drinking more tea and looking for healthy crunchy snacks that I can eat mindlessly when I read. Popcorn I forget sometimes. Probably because I eat it obsessively for awhile and then get sick of it. But I could add it back in again.

I know. I need to set up a gym routine again. And it probably would be best to do it BEFORE work when it's not so cold and I'm not tired from working all day. I WILL DO IT! Starting tomorrow, cuz I'm stuck at work at the gym closed at 5pm today.

cyncmt

its all about finding little changes. you can enjoy the "off limits" stuff more often; i like fruity mixed drinks, but avg 150 a glass is rough. but i make them at home with flavored water and can have 4 for 150 cal. fast food- i do kids meals at about half the cal usually under 600 with fries. eating out look ahead if you can and scout the best choice, but if its something you really want, go for it, just share it or split it and put half in a box for later. that works for me. the main thing to remember is you have support, most of us are willing to share what works for us and what we think others should be doing, but its hard to call yourself out on you shortcomings. don't beat yourself up on trips and stumbles cause that sets in negative thinking which leads to poor self esteem and that doesn't help

cyncmt

with popcorn i use i can't believe it's not butter spray 0 cal and add italian seasoning/ powered ranch 5 cal for tsp/cinnamon and splenda/parmesan cheese 25 cal for tbsp. you can get creative

hararayne

its all about finding little changes. you can enjoy the "off limits" stuff more often; i like fruity mixed drinks, but avg 150 a glass is rough. but i make them at home with flavored water and can have 4 for 150 cal. fast food- i do kids meals at about half the cal usually under 600 with fries. eating out look ahead if you can and scout the best choice, but if its something you really want, go for it, just share it or split it and put half in a box for later. that works for me. the main thing to remember is you have support, most of us are willing to share what works for us and what we think others should be doing, but its hard to call yourself out on you shortcomings. don't beat yourself up on trips and stumbles cause that sets in negative thinking which leads to poor self esteem and that doesn't help

If I go out I usually do drinks like diet soda with something in it or whiskey and water with lemon slices. If I've saved some calories then I can do my favorite of hard ciders. In the past I've asked for a box at the begining of a meal. But we've been on vacation and appetizers killed it.

But yeah, the point of the post is TO call myself out on my shortcomings. Because maybe I'll notice when I'm doing them if I tell people that I've been doing them. I told one of my close friends about some of them today and then decided to really come clean on here on two things I know for a fact are me sabotaging me.

Psychgrrl

My thoughts if you zone out at the gym while watching TV, you might not be getting all the benefits of working out and may lean more towards just going through the motions.

I use music to get me through the workouts. I have a ton of cardio mixes (62 and counting--I get bored easily) to help me set my pace. They're all carefully chosen for length and beat and lyrics. I do watch TV, well I read the subtitles, but the beat keeps me moving at the right speed.

I bring my gym clothes to the office, change there and go directly to the gym. Sometimes, I'll throw them on at lunch and walk for a couple miles. Plus, I set a good example for my office mates!

prattiger65

You are just not ready. When you get ready, you will be successful.

I was thinking about that the other day. I bought weight equipment. I began reading weight lifting articles on here, and looked at the various books people talk about. As I did this, I recalled the "stages" they teach at Jenny Craig. I can't remember their exact names. But I'm planning. Contemplating perhaps? How do you get to ready?

For me, it was a WTF am I doing? Moment. I was laying on my fat *kitten* in the recliner when my then 8 year old asked me to come out and play catch with him. I said no, I'm watching tv. He shrugged and went outside. I saw through the window this little boy throwing the ball up in the air over and over again. It was like cold water in my face. I got up and went outside to play catch. That was over a year and 50 pounds ago. You will have a moment, and when you do, you will make it happen. Good luck!

hararayne

My thoughts if you zone out at the gym while watching TV, you might not be getting all the benefits of working out and may lean more towards just going through the motions.

I use music to get me through the workouts. I have a ton of cardio mixes (62 and counting--I get bored easily) to help me set my pace. They're all carefully chosen for length and beat and lyrics. I do watch TV, well I read the subtitles, but the beat keeps me moving at the right speed.

I bring my gym clothes to the office, change there and go directly to the gym. Sometimes, I'll throw them on at lunch and walk for a couple miles. Plus, I set a good example for my office mates!

I like your handle...lol. I don't think for me that zoning out and not gettingthe full benefit of the workout is a problem at this point. I need to focus on getting to the gym first. Setting up a weekly routine with it.

But when I did have a routine I did what you do. Read subtitles and had music on.

meshashesha2012

honestly OP, this was me for many years.

i started gaining weight after i stopped being an athlete and every now and then for a a few weeks i'd get an idea to lose weight. i'd stop eating everything and would be extra diligent about my workouts and i'd lose. i think back then the longest i went was for 3 months and i lost a pretty decent amount. then i'd fall off for like a year .

i wouldnt necessarily say it was a short coming, i just wasnt ready to lose the weight. i wasnt ready mentally. keep in mind that being overweight is more than just a physical things, there are almost always emotional and mental reasons for subconsciously (or consciously) making that choice to become overweight. if you arent ready to face those issues then you will almost always "fail" but it's not really failing since it's just a matter of not being ready.

ETA : I reached my ready phase in 2012. I lost 30 of the 80 pounds i need to lose. then took a maintenance break in 2013. and now i'm ready to lose the last 50 . you'll get there, my "ready" moment was a good friend (who was also overweight) having a heart attack and then me being diagnosed as having high blood pressure. getting back to being healthy is more important now than the reasons i originally gained weight.

hararayne

You are just not ready. When you get ready, you will be successful.

I was thinking about that the other day. I bought weight equipment. I began reading weight lifting articles on here, and looked at the various books people talk about. As I did this, I recalled the "stages" they teach at Jenny Craig. I can't remember their exact names. But I'm planning. Contemplating perhaps? How do you get to ready?

For me, it was a WTF am I doing? Moment. I was laying on my fat *kitten* in the recliner when my then 8 year old asked me to come out and play catch with him. I said no, I'm watching tv. He shrugged and went outside. I saw through the window this little boy throwing the ball up in the air over and over again. It was like cold water in my face. I got up and went outside to play catch. That was over a year and 50 pounds ago. You will have a moment, and when you do, you will make it happen. Good luck!

I don't have children to have a moment like that. It's more getting dressed in the morning and thinking...I had an hourglass figure and now I'm turning into a rectangle. Ugh. I really miss taking my dogs for walks. I wish it wasn't so cold lately.

maracuya23

Your diet doesn't need to be perfect, or planned. Your exercise doesn't need to be perfect or planned either.

Just dive in. One snack, or meal, or set of squats, or a sun salutation, or day of accurate logging. Just do one thing, and then another as you think of it. Gradually, they'll just become habits. Or set a simple goal for one week or one month- like log every day (no goals/deficits/ etc, just log). Build on each tiny success and focus on the next. It can be a positive approach, without shaming or negativity.

gem192

Hey OP,

I too have gone through this cycle many times. I now, annoyingly, have a lot of weight to lose, because a few more pounds always creep on after we fall off plan

For me, what worked was getting REALLY real with myself. Not mean, just real.

e.g. It's not actually that hard, stop using excuses. Sitting here is how I got myself into this mess. Nobody shoves food down my throat, I am sabotaging myself, etc etc.

Also, having back up plans for exercise really helped. I always seem to do the same workout DVD, but of course I get bored of that, so I have the option of going for a long walk, or doing a fitness game on Xbox, or starting the 30 Day Shred. So instead of just not working out, I allow myself to "choose." I always end up doing something!

Also, just putting your workout gear on really helps. Just autopilot the getting ready to work out part (get changed, get your water), then when you're physically ready you'll be way more motivated.

Hope at least some of this nonsense helps!

hjpate

I rarely post anything but I can relate to you (OP) and your frustration. Been there, done that and bought the size XL t-shirt.

Do ONE thing that makes a change. Do it for a week, maybe two. Keep doing that ONE thing and add ONE MORE thing. Do both Thing One and Thing Two for a couple of weeks and add ONE MORE thing. Keep at Things One, Two and Three for a few weeks and then contemplate introducing yourself to Thing Four. And so on.

I had to keep a list for awhile to keep track of Things One thru (pick a number somewhere around 20) by which time I'd been doing the first Things for about 5 months. And bless their little size smaller t-shirts, they became HABITS. And I liked my new shape and my new habits so I kept them and eventually didn't need a list for anything other than any new Things I added.

So here I am, 11.5 months in and down 69 lbs. It could have been more but I like chocolate, Christmas baking and the occasional Chinese food dinner. I now wear a size M t-shirt and have a wardrobe of clothes to move on out. And my so-called "skinny" clothes in size L are now too big, too.

Ideas for Things, you ask? Exercise - do 10 minutes of SOMETHING. I bought an elliptical trainer as it is best for me. I started on the easiest setting and ploughed along for 10 minutes on Day 1. Then on Day 7, I went for 20 minutes. Now I use all the settings and usually aim for a vigorous no slowing down 60 minutes. Works for me. You pick what you like. Also, take the stairs not the elevator, park at the far end of the parking lot (if it's safe!) and so on.

Food - eat a smaller apple. Eat a spoonful less of the cereal. Find a snack that is 10 calories less than the one you eat now. Find foods that are more satisfying for you. Find foods that are easy to track - I like flavoured rice cakes. They are between 40-45 cals each. I know where that fits in my daily goals. And if I schlump over my goal for calories - either eat less the next day, ramp up an extra session of exercise or say "I forgive me and the chocolate was awesome!" Then go back on the plan.

It took me so long to write this, I see others have said something similar. :ohwell:

arrseegee

It sounds like you want to lose weight but not badly enough that you're willing to make permanent change to achieve it. You've got the knowledge, now you just need the kick up the butt to do it. And although a kick up the butt sounds external it needs to come from within (figuratively speaking - have just given myself some scary visuals)

gigglesinthesun

you sound like a planner. I am very good at making plans. I have list of lists. I research all the best ways. What I am not so good at is actually finishing those plans.

I have make myself come here every day and most days I log every thing faithfully (weighed and exact), every now and then when I feel like giving up I just log one or two things, eat what I want and start again the next day. I weigh myself every day and log it in an app where I get a pretty graph telling me my weight is on a downward trajectory over time, so it's all well. I tell myself that skinny people don't eat perfect calories every day either, they merely got the balance between good days and bad days right :-)

hararayne

you sound like a planner. I am very good at making plans. I have list of lists. I research all the best ways. What I am not so good at is actually finishing those plans.

I have make myself come here every day and most days I log every thing faithfully (weighed and exact), every now and then when I feel like giving up I just log one or two things, eat what I want and start again the next day. I weigh myself every day and log it in an app where I get a pretty graph telling me my weight is on a downward trajectory over time, so it's all well. I tell myself that skinny people don't eat perfect calories every day either, they merely got the balance between good days and bad days right :-)

I still haven't figured out that balance. I'm trying though.

hararayne

So, I didn't make it to the gym yesterday. Instead I had an argument with my perpetually thin boyfriend about why I didn't want to go to Red Lobster. After some tears and explaining to him how hard he is making things he finally relented. I had a salad and some dried roasted peas for dinner because I had a really large lunch with my grandma that I had planned for.

But it really sucked to hear him say, "Why does one day matter?" It really sucked to have to tell him, because this is so easy for him, that "One day turns into day after day after day." So for those of you that say, just do one small change and it will add up....that doesn't work for me. It's to easy to have multiple days where I don't eat right, or forget to log the candy I had or not workout. But I also know that I've been really hard on myself.

My goals are to make sure I log everything, everyday, for the next month. I will try to stay under my calorie goal.

I'm not going to beat myself up right now about working out. I'm working a ton of hours and have laundry and dogs and things to take care off. But I owe it to myself to stick to those goals for the next month and forgive myself for not working on the exercise part of the goal.

Thanks for the support and the replies!

loriemn

My thoughts if you zone out at the gym while watching TV, you might not be getting all the benefits of working out and may lean more towards just going through the motions.

I use music to get me through the workouts. I have a ton of cardio mixes (62 and counting--I get bored easily) to help me set my pace. They're all carefully chosen for length and beat and lyrics. I do watch TV, well I read the subtitles, but the beat keeps me moving at the right speed.

I bring my gym clothes to the office, change there and go directly to the gym. Sometimes, I'll throw them on at lunch and walk for a couple miles. Plus, I set a good example for my office mates!

my friends call me ADD when I do this,,TV on for my eyes,Ipod in for my head to focus on then I still go over TKD stuff all at the same time..while on the stationary bike,, I probably do have ADD,,and it works for me,,not bad,just enough that I have to keep mixing things up or I also get bored really fast!

1PatientBear

So, I didn't make it to the gym yesterday. Instead I had an argument with my perpetually thin boyfriend about why I didn't want to go to Red Lobster. After some tears and explaining to him how hard he is making things he finally relented. I had a salad and some dried roasted peas for dinner because I had a really large lunch with my grandma that I had planned for.

But it really sucked to hear him say, "Why does one day matter?" It really sucked to have to tell him, because this is so easy for him, that "One day turns into day after day after day." So for those of you that say, just do one small change and it will add up....that doesn't work for me. It's to easy to have multiple days where I don't eat right, or forget to log the candy I had or not workout. But I also know that I've been really hard on myself.

My goals are to make sure I log everything, everyday, for the next month. I will try to stay under my calorie goal.

I'm not going to beat myself up right now about working out. I'm working a ton of hours and have laundry and dogs and things to take care off. But I owe it to myself to stick to those goals for the next month and forgive myself for not working on the exercise part of the goal.

Thanks for the support and the replies!

What's wrong with Red Lobster??? Seafood can easily fit into your eating as long as you make good choices about what to get. Are you never, ever going to go to Red Lobster again?? Because if you DO plan to go again one day, then don't avoid it now. That's creating unsustainable habits. Go where you want, but make smart and informed choices.

hararayne

So, I didn't make it to the gym yesterday. Instead I had an argument with my perpetually thin boyfriend about why I didn't want to go to Red Lobster. After some tears and explaining to him how hard he is making things he finally relented. I had a salad and some dried roasted peas for dinner because I had a really large lunch with my grandma that I had planned for.

But it really sucked to hear him say, "Why does one day matter?" It really sucked to have to tell him, because this is so easy for him, that "One day turns into day after day after day." So for those of you that say, just do one small change and it will add up....that doesn't work for me. It's to easy to have multiple days where I don't eat right, or forget to log the candy I had or not workout. But I also know that I've been really hard on myself.

My goals are to make sure I log everything, everyday, for the next month. I will try to stay under my calorie goal.

I'm not going to beat myself up right now about working out. I'm working a ton of hours and have laundry and dogs and things to take care off. But I owe it to myself to stick to those goals for the next month and forgive myself for not working on the exercise part of the goal.

Thanks for the support and the replies!

What's wrong with Red Lobster??? Seafood can easily fit into your eating as long as you make good choices about what to get. Are you never, ever going to go to Red Lobster again?? Because if you DO plan to go again one day, then don't avoid it now. That's creating unsustainable habits. Go where you want, but make smart and informed choices.

Going out is something that should be a treat. I had already gone out that day with my grandmother for lunch. I had chinese food. Why should I set myself up for failure by going out twice in a day. It is HARD to say no to those biscuit things. And I alway do pick the lower calorie options. I get the crab legs and broccoli, perhaps salmon if I do a pick 2. But even with the salad that meal can easily get over 500 calories. I didn't have enough after going out with my grandmother for lunch to let myself do that. I want to enjoy dinner, and I was really looking forward to my salad for dinner. I didn't want to sit and freak out about which thing is healthiest at Red Lobster. On a restricted calorie diet, it is nearly impossible to eat out twice in a day and keep calories in check. It CAN be done, but it's not much fun and not worth the money.