Today at the gym
kerrirob1
Posts: 23 Member
I had a little pep talk with myself and decided it was time to man-up and go into the free weights section and start stonglifts
So I walked in, and you know the old western movies where the outsider goes into the saloon and everyone stops what they were doing to stare at the newbie? Well, thats what happened.. Men actually stopped doing their curls and playing on their ipads and turned to look at me.
Me, being the coward I am, turned around and walked straight back out and went on the treadmill instead
How do you cope with being stared at like that? I've never done free weights and don't want everyone staring at me while I'm trying it out. Was considering just going to the gym at some ridiculous time (like 3am) since its open 24hrs but that seems a bit extreme, even for me!
So I walked in, and you know the old western movies where the outsider goes into the saloon and everyone stops what they were doing to stare at the newbie? Well, thats what happened.. Men actually stopped doing their curls and playing on their ipads and turned to look at me.
Me, being the coward I am, turned around and walked straight back out and went on the treadmill instead
How do you cope with being stared at like that? I've never done free weights and don't want everyone staring at me while I'm trying it out. Was considering just going to the gym at some ridiculous time (like 3am) since its open 24hrs but that seems a bit extreme, even for me!
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Replies
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The only thing to do is go back and start lifting!
I was ridiculously intimidated when I first went, and yes men did look but I still did it, felt out of my comfort zone but hey I did it yay!!! The 2nd time was also a bit nerve racking but I carried on.
Now I couldn't care less, I love going and lifting and makes no difference to me if I'm the only female there or not. I'm there to lift nothing else : )
I mean really, what is there to worry about they are men, humans, that's it lol...they're there to work out too!0 -
Walk back in.
If people stop and stare, simply ask, "never seen a woman, before?"
Do your workout and leave.0 -
nod and smile...and go in with a plan of action so you aren't wandering around looking lost. This isn't a competition, and they're just looking at you because you're a new face. Once you get through the first day, you'll be fine.0
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If you know how to lift, with correct form, go in and own it. Let 'em stare, then stare 'em down as you get stronger, and eventually lift heavier than they can.
If you are unfamiliar with lifting, please, oh please, have a trainer show you what to do. If you're at a gym, there are trainers around. You do NOT need to pay for a session (though for rookies I'd advise doing so!) to learn a few compound lifts with proper form.0 -
I think I'll go back tomorrow
I have a plan and I know exactly what I need to do, but since I've never used the equipment I'm a bit scared
Might go when its quieter though..0 -
Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill. I'll scope out another PT who looks like they know what they're talking about..
Thanks for your replies!0 -
Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.0
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You probably just look uncomfortable and lost. If you confidently walked in and started setting weights they wouldn't care, at most talk to you. I don't think they were being sexist or anything so don't be mean, and it's just the vibe they got from you, they can't possibly be in the gym at all times so they can't tell if you are new there or not.0
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Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.
^^ Nominated as the BEST post of the day!
I [heart] you SaintGiff!0 -
Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill. I'll scope out another PT who looks like they know what they're talking about..
Thanks for your replies!
are you kidding me?
what an *kitten*.
Go back in there- with a plan- and do your homework.
and go do the da*m thing. Girls life things all the time- groceries- babies? car parts whatever- life is better when you are stronger.
if they continue to stare- you can ask them if they prefer to take a picture since it'll last long... or if that's the first vagina they have seen walking out side the kitchen.
That's usually my go to joke- "slack jawed look-oh I know- Go Team Vagina!!! I'm really lost and confused right now- being out side the kitchen with shoes on.. but I still need those twenties anyway- kthaxbai."
or more often- I don't talk to anyone- I just go in- do my thing and leave.Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.
pretty much this.
you pay to use the facilities- the "facilities" include free weights. period. end of story. this is not a crisis or a novel concept. go do your work out- turn your jam on- angry baby eating music? go for it- jock jams? go for it little britney? go for it. who cares- put on whatever makes you want to work.
(work b*tch by britney- awesome song by the way if you need pepping- it's on my play list right next to "hard out here" by Lily Allen)0 -
Whenever people stare at me at the gym, I look them in the eye. Making eye contact generally makes people look away. I also like to turn on good music and really focus on doing reps correctly. Also, what kind of schmuck says that girls don't lift weights?! Most of my girl friends spend part of every workout lifting, and they are all feminine and toned.0
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Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.
YES! Finally, I thought I was they only one who thought this. Thread after thread after thread of women in the free weights section being such a big deal that I thought I was going to some weird alien gym or something. I don't get it, women lifting is neither new or rare.
Anyway OP doing anything for the first time can be intimidating, just slowly ease into it and do what make's you comfortable. Don't do something extreme that will make you never want to go back. Best of luck and be strong it gets easier! :-)0 -
You probably just look uncomfortable and lost. If you confidently walked in and started setting weights they wouldn't care, at most talk to you. I don't think they were being sexist or anything so don't be mean, and it's just the vibe they got from you, they can't possibly be in the gym at all times so they can't tell if you are new there or not.
No. All the no in the world. She's allowed to look uncomfortable and lost. Most of them men in there are uncomfortable and lost. Most of the men who women think are staring at them are staring at pretty much anyone just to see if they can learn something. Everyone really needs to get over this remedial idea that simply by virtue of having a penis someone is an expert on weight training, and that the lack of said penis means you are clueless. This mindset not only prevents women from doing things that are pretty awesome for their bodies, but it causes a lot of men to start training, have zero progress or injure themselves, and then give up because they are too ashamed to ask for help. Half of the smartest lifters I've ever met were women. I've learned just as much over the years from women as I have from men. All of this nonsense from both sides needs to stop. It's a ****ing gym for crying out loud. It's good for everyone. Everyone belongs there. Unless you are using the squat rack when I want to use it. Then I don't care if you are a man or a woman, you need to go play on an elliptical now.0 -
You probably just look uncomfortable and lost. If you confidently walked in and started setting weights they wouldn't care, at most talk to you. I don't think they were being sexist or anything so don't be mean, and it's just the vibe they got from you, they can't possibly be in the gym at all times so they can't tell if you are new there or not.
No. All the no in the world. She's allowed to look uncomfortable and lost. Most of them men in there are uncomfortable and lost. Most of the men who women think are staring at them are staring at pretty much anyone just to see if they can learn something. Everyone really needs to get over this remedial idea that simply by virtue of having a penis someone is an expert on weight training, and that the lack of said penis means you are clueless. This mindset not only prevents women from doing things that are pretty awesome for their bodies, but it causes a lot of men to start training, have zero progress or injure themselves, and then give up because they are too ashamed to ask for help. Half of the smartest lifters I've ever met were women. I've learned just as much over the years from women as I have from men. All of this nonsense from both sides needs to stop. It's a ****ing gym for crying out loud. It's good for everyone. Everyone belongs there. Unless you are using the squat rack when I want to use it. Then I don't care if you are a man or a woman, you need to go play on an elliptical now.
At most, it's likely a, "hey, haven't seen her here before." And that's it. At least, that's how it would be at the gym I go to.0 -
You probably just look uncomfortable and lost. If you confidently walked in and started setting weights they wouldn't care, at most talk to you. I don't think they were being sexist or anything so don't be mean, and it's just the vibe they got from you, they can't possibly be in the gym at all times so they can't tell if you are new there or not.
No. All the no in the world. She's allowed to look uncomfortable and lost. Most of them men in there are uncomfortable and lost. Most of the men who women think are staring at them are staring at pretty much anyone just to see if they can learn something. Everyone really needs to get over this remedial idea that simply by virtue of having a penis someone is an expert on weight training, and that the lack of said penis means you are clueless. This mindset not only prevents women from doing things that are pretty awesome for their bodies, but it causes a lot of men to start training, have zero progress or injure themselves, and then give up because they are too ashamed to ask for help. Half of the smartest lifters I've ever met were women. I've learned just as much over the years from women as I have from men. All of this nonsense from both sides needs to stop. It's a ****ing gym for crying out loud. It's good for everyone. Everyone belongs there. Unless you are using the squat rack when I want to use it. Then I don't care if you are a man or a woman, you need to go play on an elliptical now.
Well said!0 -
Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill. I'll scope out another PT who looks like they know what they're talking about..
Thanks for your replies!
:laugh: :huh:
Definitely find another trainer who knows what they're talking about. I love it when I'm lifting and I get comments from MEN at the gym. Today my husband and I were doing chest and the guy next to us was commenting on how hard I work and a few weeks ago another guy said something to my husband in the locker room about the amount of weight I lift and how it's impressive because you don't see that too often.
As for your first experience, I'm guessing they all looked up and looked at you because you were the only one walking in. I bet that if you stood there for a second, smiled and continued on in they would have went back to whatever it was they were doing.
Good for you for taking the first step and opening the door. Now all you have to do is continue on in and get them weights!0 -
Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill. I'll scope out another PT who looks like they know what they're talking about..
Thanks for your replies!
Um, report his *kitten* to a manager. He's losing clients for the gym by his ignorance and bigotry. If we were local to each other, I'd join you, show you what to do correctly, AND stare down that failtrainer as I lift more than he can. I'm outraged on your behalf.
If you're at a gym where trainers tell you cardio is for girls and weights are for boys, you may need to go to a different gym. I can't even wrap my head around that.0 -
It also took me a while to pluck up the courage to go into that section but i did it cos i wanted to start strong lifts. I didn't notice anyone looking when i first went but i always used to make sure it was quiet and even so, i felt very self conscious and nervous every time i went down there for a week or two at least! 6 months later and i could not give a monkeys. Yes, they do look sometimes when you i first walk into the area and head for the squat rack, and yes sometimes they do peeve and stare at your *kitten*. But sometimes they are also helpful too and i don't let them put me off my workout. If they want to stop and stare and balls up their own workout then it's up to them but I just get on and do my own thing. Go on and do it - what have you got to lose? Nothing, that's what! But everything to gain
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Our gym's cardio deck overlooks the weight section. I've been lifting at home for awhile now but hadn't transitioned to lifting at the gym (where it's warm!) After plodding along on the treadmill a few times and watching the weight lifters down below I realized that I knew at least as much as the majority of them and since I am paying for the use of the area too, I invaded. I did learn from watching them a few times that most of them start out with dumbbells and machines and then do the cage at the end. I prefer to do my squats at the beginning so I head straight for the cage after my warm up. I do feel like a unicorn in there at times but I ignore them. For most of the guys who are there when I am, I am probably old enough to be their mom.
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Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill. I'll scope out another PT who looks like they know what they're talking about..
Thanks for your replies!
Um, report his *kitten* to a manager. He's losing clients for the gym by his ignorance and bigotry. If we were local to each other, I'd join you, show you what to do correctly, AND stare down that failtrainer as I lift more than he can. I'm outraged on your behalf.
If you're at a gym where trainers tell you cardio is for girls and weights are for boys, you may need to go to a different gym. I can't even wrap my head around that.
yeah- pretty much.
I don't do cardio at all- and if I do- I certainly don't do it on the damn treadmill- vagina /=/ cardio.
forgot to link this since it's got so much good stuff in it.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1169757-i-am-the-woman-in-the-freeweights-section-of-the-gym0 -
Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.
I was wondering the same thing. I'm forever in the weight room, and never once has anybody stared at me, or even given me a second glance, other than time my toddler was shouting HI MOMMY!!! a million times from the play structure overlooking the weight room. I think they just wanted me to tell him to hush though....
I have to ask, are you sure they were staring, or did it just feel like that???0 -
I think I'll go back tomorrow
I have a plan and I know exactly what I need to do, but since I've never used the equipment I'm a bit scared
Might go when its quieter though..
this is what i did.
i was embarrassed to start lifting weights too. i had no clue what i was doing. so i started going at 5:30 am when the gym would first open, so i figured there would be the least amount of people there.
so it's not just you.
and btw, i know that when someone walks down the stairs to enter the lifting area, i go to see who it is. it's just what people do. if someone walks into a room, you look to see who it is.0 -
Go for it, grunt a little bit, act like you been there before and see what happens.
Keep it simple.
Maybe find an experienced partner to work with you?0 -
They turn to look at you, because you're a woman. Because men have testosterone, and get excited at the site of any kind of woman coming into an area with nothing but dudes. Girls at my gym put on the "GYM FACE" or the "MEAN FACE" so they don't get bothered. Some intentionally wear earphones just so they can look consumed and not want to be bothered. Just go in the free weight area and handle your business, and appreciate all your new fans!0
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Where do you people go to they gym that this is a thing? I've been in and out of gyms for the better part of four decades. I've been to commercial gyms and little hole-in-the-wall iron factories owned by former professional wrestlers. I've never been in a gym where a woman using weights was even remotely novel. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm just amazed that I've never seen it. Even in the most lunk head gyms there are always women working out. If it's a big deal where you are then that's all the more reason to get in there and get your nose dirty. Show them that it shouldn't be a big deal. You belong there. You belonged there from the moment you decided you belonged there.
I am one of only three women that use the free weights section in my gym. At first, when I was in the cross-training room where they keep the kettlebells, wall balls, and oly bars (next to main weight room), guys were walking out when they saw me deadlifting. Now I say things to them like "hi" and they say "hi" back, go about their biz, and ignore me. I realized that I might have been making them a little uncomfortable because they were worried they were making me uncomfortable or they felt like they had accidentally walked into the women's bathroom. I don't know if that's how they felt but I do know the only time I've ever received similar responses from men was when they have walked in on on me in the women's bathroom. The startled looks, etc. ...It's fine now though.0 -
Do the men at your gyms not ever have women around them the other 22 hrs of the day in their own lives?
why would they be uncomfortable- they have head phones on- you have yours on. Unless you are wearing a borat/burno thong leotard strappy thing. then staring is game on.
Other wise . do your home work-
go to the gym with your plan
then handle your business.
Know what you need to do- and go do it. Women are everywhere- we make up what over 50% of the population- no one should ever be shocked when a woman walks into the free weight area.0 -
THISnod and smile...and go in with a plan of action so you aren't wandering around looking lost. This isn't a competition, and they're just looking at you because you're a new face. Once you get through the first day, you'll be fine.0 -
Sarah, I asked the PT that showed me around but he told me that 'girls don't lift' and I should use the treadmill.
Someone needs to put that idiot out of his misery. I cannot STAND hearing sexist men (or even women!) say that girls shouldn't lift. Hell yes, we should lift! And lift heavy! There's absolutely no reason why a woman can't be as strong or stronger than a man. And as for the people who say that lifting will make you "masculine," if the term "feminine" has come to mean weak, frail, meek, and fragile, just take my name right off that list because I don't want any part of it. For some reason, women have decided they want to be "strong" in every other aspect of their life except fitness! Personally, I want to be mentally AND physically tough as nails.
As for your problem, the most important thing is to focus on yourself and don't worry about anyone looking at you. Chances are that if you walk up to the bar and grab it like you know what you're doing those guys are going to shrug and get back to their workout. Have a plan when you walk into the gym, get a good pair of headphones, and go to work. And eventually, some of those guys will be giving you compliments on how heavy and awesome you're lifting.
Don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't belong there. Think about this: any men who have time to watch what you're doing are having some lazy *kitten* workouts. They're not there to work. They're there to lean on the rack and have social time, so who cares what they think anyway.0 -
they looked because you are new, once you go there a few times they will ignore you and continue their workouts.
more often then not the only time men notice me is when I break a new record or lift heavier then the guy next to me.
go in with a plan, don't hog the equipment, ask for help if you need ...the big guys are normally the nicest guys you will meet
most people in the weight room want you to do the workout well (they don't want to witness bad form and the inevitable injury)
and that PT that told you that weight lifting is not for girls needs to get his certificate taken away, weight lifting is amazing for women...trust me...you can lift a lot more then you think
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Don't let ANYONE make you feel like you don't belong there. Think about this: any men who have time to watch what you're doing are having some lazy *kitten* workouts. They're not there to work. They're there to lean on the rack and have social time, so who cares what they think anyway.
I agree with much- but this.
I have rest's that are upwards of 5 minutes. I'm sure as hell not taking selfies of my *kitten* the entire time. The cardio room has a different feel/vibe than the weight room. People watching happens in the weight room- it is not indicative of someone that is lazy or has a bad workout- or doesn't work hard.
it's what people do- they lift- they rest- they watch- they chit chat- then they lift some more. Unless you are super setting/interval training... that's how it goes.0
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