Confidence is the new sexy
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msf74
Posts: 3,498 Member
From here: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2013/10/10/confidence-is-the-new-sexy
The author is Brett Hoebel
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Wanna feel sexy? Love your body, love yourself.
That tiny black dress, heels and make-up can make you feel a little more sexy, but the sexiest thing about you doesn't have a color or a shape. You can't touch it, but you sure can feel it ... it's self-confidence.
Being comfortable with who you are is ultimately what's behind this new movement that redefines sexy from appearance to inner strength. It's no longer about what others think of you or trying to live up to a man's or media images of beauty, it's what you think of yourself that makes you sexy. Are you strong enough to be sexy?
The Strength to Be Confident
Beauty is far beyond skin deep. There are "beautiful" women who think negatively about their appearance, and women who some might say are not as "beautiful," yet they exude confidence and self-acceptance. That inner-strength to believe in who you are, own your body and keep in your mind a positive view of who you are is the strength you have to build to be sexy.
That mental toughness is only built through believing your own hype. If you don't create hype for yourself, you have nothing to believe in but what others think of you. Change that today by coming up with your own self-confident mantra. Tyra Banks touts fierceness; Kimora Lee touts fabulosity; but what do you call that "it factor" that makes you feel confident? Find out, and chase after it, so that you become better at pumping your own self up.
The Strength to Define Your Beauty
Researchers know it. I'm a man and I know it. And you know it too. Women are hard on other women. And even when they're not, the other women may think they are. That all adds up to this self-consciousness about appearance that can take away from your sexy. That's why it's so important that a woman defines what she thinks is "beautiful."
Trying to please others or live up to others' expectations is not sexy. To build strength to define your own beauty, consider your body in your own definition of sexy. Try to forget what you mother, boyfriend, friends or siblings may have told you about what's good, bad or ugly about your body.
If you love muscles, make like Michelle Obama and get the guns you want. If you like J-Lo and Beyonce curves, then work out to stay healthy inside, and don't obsess about cutting inches here and there. Remember, if you're trying to be sexy for anyone other than yourself, you're only playing a role. To really be sexy, you have to genuinely feel it. Passion starts from the inside out, and passion is what makes sexy real.
The Strength to Accept Your Body
You deserve to feel sexy all the time. But so many women don't feel comfortable in their own skin. Whether it's because you don't see who you want to be in the mirror, or you're stuck wanting a younger version of you, it's time to accept your body.
I remember vividly the times I hated my body as an overweight teen. Not wanting to look in the mirror, never letting my photo be taken and never believing my Mom when she called me "handsome." But the body we own is the one that makes our lives possible. Hating it goes completely against treating it well enough to get positive results from it.
It wasn't until I accepted my body and changed my mindset that I could truly start healing, and positive change followed. The strength to accept your body comes from knowing your own importance. The body you want is only possible through the body you've got. Loving it, accepting it and treating your body better is essential to being sexy. So embrace the body you've got, in all its sexy glory, so you can move towards the body you want and deserve.
Use these action steps to pave the way for a stronger, sexier you:
• Building confidence
Practice positive self-talk. List five positive things about who you are and what you do. Be as specific as possible. Post them around your house, and read them to yourself to boost your inner strength and remind yourself of who you are.
• Defining beauty
Accept compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, believe it. Because defining your own beauty is not just about defining what you have to offer to the world, it's also about appreciating the beauty others see in you. Embrace it.
• Accepting your body
Kill the fat talk (and skinny talk, too). Too many times there's an "us against them" struggle between "overweight" and "skinny" people. This shouldn't be. Stop the put-downs, stares and judgments towards both of these types of people. Accepting an individual is the best way to accept your own body and is the first step to stop comparing yourself to others.
The author is Brett Hoebel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanna feel sexy? Love your body, love yourself.
That tiny black dress, heels and make-up can make you feel a little more sexy, but the sexiest thing about you doesn't have a color or a shape. You can't touch it, but you sure can feel it ... it's self-confidence.
Being comfortable with who you are is ultimately what's behind this new movement that redefines sexy from appearance to inner strength. It's no longer about what others think of you or trying to live up to a man's or media images of beauty, it's what you think of yourself that makes you sexy. Are you strong enough to be sexy?
The Strength to Be Confident
Beauty is far beyond skin deep. There are "beautiful" women who think negatively about their appearance, and women who some might say are not as "beautiful," yet they exude confidence and self-acceptance. That inner-strength to believe in who you are, own your body and keep in your mind a positive view of who you are is the strength you have to build to be sexy.
That mental toughness is only built through believing your own hype. If you don't create hype for yourself, you have nothing to believe in but what others think of you. Change that today by coming up with your own self-confident mantra. Tyra Banks touts fierceness; Kimora Lee touts fabulosity; but what do you call that "it factor" that makes you feel confident? Find out, and chase after it, so that you become better at pumping your own self up.
The Strength to Define Your Beauty
Researchers know it. I'm a man and I know it. And you know it too. Women are hard on other women. And even when they're not, the other women may think they are. That all adds up to this self-consciousness about appearance that can take away from your sexy. That's why it's so important that a woman defines what she thinks is "beautiful."
Trying to please others or live up to others' expectations is not sexy. To build strength to define your own beauty, consider your body in your own definition of sexy. Try to forget what you mother, boyfriend, friends or siblings may have told you about what's good, bad or ugly about your body.
If you love muscles, make like Michelle Obama and get the guns you want. If you like J-Lo and Beyonce curves, then work out to stay healthy inside, and don't obsess about cutting inches here and there. Remember, if you're trying to be sexy for anyone other than yourself, you're only playing a role. To really be sexy, you have to genuinely feel it. Passion starts from the inside out, and passion is what makes sexy real.
The Strength to Accept Your Body
You deserve to feel sexy all the time. But so many women don't feel comfortable in their own skin. Whether it's because you don't see who you want to be in the mirror, or you're stuck wanting a younger version of you, it's time to accept your body.
I remember vividly the times I hated my body as an overweight teen. Not wanting to look in the mirror, never letting my photo be taken and never believing my Mom when she called me "handsome." But the body we own is the one that makes our lives possible. Hating it goes completely against treating it well enough to get positive results from it.
It wasn't until I accepted my body and changed my mindset that I could truly start healing, and positive change followed. The strength to accept your body comes from knowing your own importance. The body you want is only possible through the body you've got. Loving it, accepting it and treating your body better is essential to being sexy. So embrace the body you've got, in all its sexy glory, so you can move towards the body you want and deserve.
Use these action steps to pave the way for a stronger, sexier you:
• Building confidence
Practice positive self-talk. List five positive things about who you are and what you do. Be as specific as possible. Post them around your house, and read them to yourself to boost your inner strength and remind yourself of who you are.
• Defining beauty
Accept compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, believe it. Because defining your own beauty is not just about defining what you have to offer to the world, it's also about appreciating the beauty others see in you. Embrace it.
• Accepting your body
Kill the fat talk (and skinny talk, too). Too many times there's an "us against them" struggle between "overweight" and "skinny" people. This shouldn't be. Stop the put-downs, stares and judgments towards both of these types of people. Accepting an individual is the best way to accept your own body and is the first step to stop comparing yourself to others.
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Replies
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thank you.:flowerforyou:0
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That is just how normal people feel all their lives ..
would nt know how someone could live a lifetime any different - ???0 -
thank you.:flowerforyou:
My pleasure my friend
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Actually it's the old and current and new sexy.
Confidence has always been sexy. Regardless of age shape and size if someone is confident people are drawn in.0 -
That is just how normal people feel all their lives ..
would nt know how someone could live a lifetime any different - ???
The sad thing is that many people will go their entire childhoods and adults lives without feeling good enough, without feeling worthy, hating their own body...0 -
Actually it's the old and current and new sexy.
Confidence has always been sexy. Regardless of age shape and size if someone is confident people are drawn in.
Excellent point.
I think it is sometimes easy to forget that however when we are bombarded with images and messages that it is what is on the outside which is of more importance.0 -
That is just how normal people feel all their lives ..
would nt know how someone could live a lifetime any different - ???
The sad thing is that many people will go their entire childhoods and adults lives without feeling good enough, without feeling worthy, hating their own body...
pointless existence ?
a knotted rope springs to mind or DO something !0 -
a knotted rope springs to mind or DO something !
Lol - I think that was the point. Change your perspective and focus and your life improves from the inside out.
Easy said than done for many people. If they have been constantly told they are not good enough over and over again sometimes creating the self belief to overcome that takes a lot of effort.0 -
a knotted rope springs to mind or DO something !
Lol - I think that was the point. Change your perspective and focus and your life improves from the inside out.
Easy said than done for many people. If they have been constantly told they are not good enough over and over again sometimes creating the self belief to overcome that takes a lot of effort.
Begs the question , how stupid do you have to be to listen to that and believe it !0 -
Begs the question , how stupid do you have to be to listen to that and believe it !
I think it's actually very easy to fall into that trap especially if it starts in childhood. A child is vulnerable and will believe what they are told if it is repeated constantly which carries through into adulthood.
In a way it is how brain washing occurs. It is less to do conscious thought than unconscious conditioning which is hard to break unless you have the skills to do so.0 -
Bump to read later.0
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Thanks. Bump to Read
Was just thinking yesterday that I would love to love my body regardless of my weight.0 -
Begs the question , how stupid do you have to be to listen to that and believe it !
I think it's actually very easy to fall into that trap especially if it starts in childhood. A child is vulnerable and will believe what they are told if it is repeated constantly which carries through into adulthood.
In a way it is how brain washing occurs. It is less to do conscious thought than unconscious conditioning which is hard to break unless you have the skills to do so.
As a child being the only foreign (Italian) kid living in at one of the best uk private schools in the racist rough and tumble 1970 s there s little you can tell me about the negativity others can dump on you, but as if I d pay any attention !!
Truth is , it actually made me feel a better person than the likes of them and out of that was born probably a little too much confidence, but that in adult life has been used to my advantage !!0 -
I disagree if you look like a ****ing troll that should live under a bridge and can't get laid to save your life, suddenly thinking you're hot **** isn't going to make people think you don't look like a troll0
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I disagree if you look like a ****ing troll that should live under a bridge and can't get laid to save your life, suddenly thinking you're hot **** isn't going to make people think you don't look like a troll
Other people's approval isn't necessary to establish self belief or confidence both of which are attractive qualities irrespective of whether you don't fit what is traditionally seen to be "good looking." In fact, good looks are hugely over rated when it comes to getting laid if you lack confidence.
In addition if you believe you have self worth then you are more likely to do the things which promote your health and treat your body with respect as you believe you have value independently of what it looks like. In that way it makes you even more attractive over time.0 -
That is just how normal people feel all their lives ..
would nt know how someone could live a lifetime any different - ???
The sad thing is that many people will go their entire childhoods and adults lives without feeling good enough, without feeling worthy, hating their own body...
pointless existence ?
a knotted rope springs to mind or DO something !
Except you feel too unworthy to do anything. And yes, a knotted rope does spring to mind. Or a bottle of pills. Or a sharp blade. Because when you hate yourself that much you think you don't deserve anything else. For me, putting on the weight was punishment for being a fat, ugly loser with no point in life. Self-fulfillment, if you will. Luckily I've a great partner who has supported me and occassionally kicked my butt into not being that person any more.0 -
That is just how normal people feel all their lives ..
would nt know how someone could live a lifetime any different - ???
Congratulations on never feeling negative about yourself and being confident. And way to go for thinking people are stupid for having problems you can't seem to comprehend.0 -
Thank you for this wonderful post! I struggle on a daily basis to keep negative thoughts at bay, as so many other women do! we all are beautiful! love yourselves girls,
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I disagree if you look like a ****ing troll that should live under a bridge and can't get laid to save your life, suddenly thinking you're hot **** isn't going to make people think you don't look like a troll
Yes and you can be exceptionally good looking but with an attitude like this you have as much of a chance at living a fulfilled sex filled life as the person who looks less than desirable but is sweet, nice, kind and confident in all things.
Confidence is not always about what you look like...it's about being comfortable with who you are and loving who you are...
besides who are you to define who is a troll and who isn't...???
I mean if I were to define "troll"....I could put a name on it too...wanna guess who that would be????0 -
Knowing yourself is the new sexy..
Improving yourself is the new sexy..it doesn't need to be just physical.0
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