Sometimes the hot guy DOES choose the big girl!
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Str0ng_Heart
Posts: 46
So this is my first post (I believe).. I have been on here a while just lurking.. Gaining knowledge as well as laughs. I wanted to share my experiences, because ive seen allot of posts about negatives. So I met my now boyfriend/best friend about 2 1/2 years ago.. We were set up on a blind date. When I first saw him I was confused.. He was 6'3, blonde hair, blue eyes.. He was pretty much my fantasy man in real life.. I was confused because this was not what a blind date should look like.. Actually I was what a blind date should look like, haha.. Short, chubby, and awkward.. Well it was one of the best dates of my life.. We sat there till closing talking and laughing, then we sat out side after closing talking.. He even took me on his bank run so the night didnt end just yet! I was convinced I had hit gold! So needless to say I was a tad disappointed when he called the next day telling me this : "youre a great woman, and I hate that I have to say it.. But Im just not feeling it.. But I do want to be friends, and I really mean that.." I didnt get it! We hit it off so well! (I hadnt even thought about my weight.. I was either naive, dumb, or confident enough to not think about it..) I bowed out like a woman though, and remained his friend..
And friends we were! We hung out EVERY weekend.. We texted all the time.. So much that he had to upgrade his phone plan.. HAHA! We remained friends for a year.. We really grew to care for eachother. This entire time I didnt ask or ponder why he wasnt with me, I just knew he should be with me. Finally the day came that changed everything for us.. We were growing so close.. We made a plan to just cuddle.. We were both single, lonely.. and I googled it so We were confident friends could cuddle :-P We watched a movie.. We cuddled.. And Google was really off on this one.. We messed around.. Just made out.. But it changed us.
After some struggle on his part we decided to become bf and gf.. It was the best relationship of my life.. I looked at him and I looked at me, and I wondered though.. What others thought, what he thought.. I finally asked him.. I maybe shouldnt have.. It almost destroyed us. He told me it was my weight, that he just wasnt sexually attracted to me.. but he loved me, and that was all that mattered to him.. Thats sweet, but realistically it wasnt a welcomed save. ( I mean we had made love! He had never made me feel ugly, or unwanted..whaaaa?)This was a dark time.. Allot of me leaving and him chasing.. Allot of anger, and tears, and embarrassment.. I even stooped as low as finding his ex on Facebook just to see what he was used to.. Seeing a 5'6 knockout wasnt exactly a mood enhancer! So I struggled.. For the first time in life I felt unsexy, and FAT.. I used to be slim.. Before the depo and life happened..
Anyways, he never asked me to lose weight, even though he had lost over 200 pounds himself! (yes.. he used to be BIG)
And he tried his hardest to make up for the fact that he felt a way he couldnt control. Everyone around me (that was close enough to me for me to share this) was saying dump him ( Some of you may even be thinking that) At this time we were 6 months into our relationship, I had no plans to lose any weight (even though i was about 100 overweight!) Why should I? I was loved and accepted for who I was.. So what I felt something was missing?! I had what SO MANY want!
Fast forward to about 4 months ago.. Life has been great.. I had the best man anyone could ask for.. I was treated like a queen! But I couldnt ignore certain nagging moments.. Like him never checking me out.. And him trying so hard not to check out hot slender girls while out with me.. I decided one day that enough was enough.. I had the best relationship I could even hope for and I wasnt allowing myself to fully enjoy it out of personal reasons.. At the beginning of my weight loss path.. I was sure I was setting myself up for pain.. I mean, how could I be ok with him finding my slim body hot, but my fat body..NOT I quickly threw those thoughts away because he HAS been with my fat body, and hes loved me, and supported my no matter what.. There was no reason to think Id somehow be "better" in his eyes..
I started attacking my calories.. I was sick when I realized how much I was shoveling in.. In fact I was shocked I wasnt bigger! Then I simply got up off my a** and stopped reading all day.. I started biking EVERYWHERE! To his house (exactly 2 miles one way) Then to the store.. Then to the trail.. He was beyond supportive.. He biked with me.. He bought turkey bacon, and healthy foods for his house.. So while I was there I wouldnt have problems eating whatever I wanted or needed.. He even switched to wheat bread with me! (still not giving up his dew though lol! :-P ) He started to tell me how much weight I looked like I was losing (even when the scale wasnt moving, those days he really helped me)
So, now Im 31 pounds down in only 3 months.. And things are slowly shifting.. Since im only 5'1 the weight loss really shows now.. Im down almost 2 sizes.. (2 full sizes on a good day!) He is checking ME out when I walk by.. He is telling ME Im sexy out of the blew when im doing something random.. And hes proud of me, because I DIDNT make this about him.. I made it about ME feeling better, and being healthy! I have never tried to lose weight, but I know I can and will do it.. Im a very driven person once I set a goal. I was once big and proud, now Im fit and fab! And I have the love of a man that I KNOW loves me.. I wanted to share this to show you that sometimes a person crushing you can save you.. And that there ARE good men out there!! Be true, love you, and do good where ever you go..
Peace Loves! Keep it up, whether your goal is gaining, losing, or just feeling good.. KEEP IT UP! (sorry for any typos!)
And friends we were! We hung out EVERY weekend.. We texted all the time.. So much that he had to upgrade his phone plan.. HAHA! We remained friends for a year.. We really grew to care for eachother. This entire time I didnt ask or ponder why he wasnt with me, I just knew he should be with me. Finally the day came that changed everything for us.. We were growing so close.. We made a plan to just cuddle.. We were both single, lonely.. and I googled it so We were confident friends could cuddle :-P We watched a movie.. We cuddled.. And Google was really off on this one.. We messed around.. Just made out.. But it changed us.
After some struggle on his part we decided to become bf and gf.. It was the best relationship of my life.. I looked at him and I looked at me, and I wondered though.. What others thought, what he thought.. I finally asked him.. I maybe shouldnt have.. It almost destroyed us. He told me it was my weight, that he just wasnt sexually attracted to me.. but he loved me, and that was all that mattered to him.. Thats sweet, but realistically it wasnt a welcomed save. ( I mean we had made love! He had never made me feel ugly, or unwanted..whaaaa?)This was a dark time.. Allot of me leaving and him chasing.. Allot of anger, and tears, and embarrassment.. I even stooped as low as finding his ex on Facebook just to see what he was used to.. Seeing a 5'6 knockout wasnt exactly a mood enhancer! So I struggled.. For the first time in life I felt unsexy, and FAT.. I used to be slim.. Before the depo and life happened..
Anyways, he never asked me to lose weight, even though he had lost over 200 pounds himself! (yes.. he used to be BIG)
And he tried his hardest to make up for the fact that he felt a way he couldnt control. Everyone around me (that was close enough to me for me to share this) was saying dump him ( Some of you may even be thinking that) At this time we were 6 months into our relationship, I had no plans to lose any weight (even though i was about 100 overweight!) Why should I? I was loved and accepted for who I was.. So what I felt something was missing?! I had what SO MANY want!
Fast forward to about 4 months ago.. Life has been great.. I had the best man anyone could ask for.. I was treated like a queen! But I couldnt ignore certain nagging moments.. Like him never checking me out.. And him trying so hard not to check out hot slender girls while out with me.. I decided one day that enough was enough.. I had the best relationship I could even hope for and I wasnt allowing myself to fully enjoy it out of personal reasons.. At the beginning of my weight loss path.. I was sure I was setting myself up for pain.. I mean, how could I be ok with him finding my slim body hot, but my fat body..NOT I quickly threw those thoughts away because he HAS been with my fat body, and hes loved me, and supported my no matter what.. There was no reason to think Id somehow be "better" in his eyes..
I started attacking my calories.. I was sick when I realized how much I was shoveling in.. In fact I was shocked I wasnt bigger! Then I simply got up off my a** and stopped reading all day.. I started biking EVERYWHERE! To his house (exactly 2 miles one way) Then to the store.. Then to the trail.. He was beyond supportive.. He biked with me.. He bought turkey bacon, and healthy foods for his house.. So while I was there I wouldnt have problems eating whatever I wanted or needed.. He even switched to wheat bread with me! (still not giving up his dew though lol! :-P ) He started to tell me how much weight I looked like I was losing (even when the scale wasnt moving, those days he really helped me)
So, now Im 31 pounds down in only 3 months.. And things are slowly shifting.. Since im only 5'1 the weight loss really shows now.. Im down almost 2 sizes.. (2 full sizes on a good day!) He is checking ME out when I walk by.. He is telling ME Im sexy out of the blew when im doing something random.. And hes proud of me, because I DIDNT make this about him.. I made it about ME feeling better, and being healthy! I have never tried to lose weight, but I know I can and will do it.. Im a very driven person once I set a goal. I was once big and proud, now Im fit and fab! And I have the love of a man that I KNOW loves me.. I wanted to share this to show you that sometimes a person crushing you can save you.. And that there ARE good men out there!! Be true, love you, and do good where ever you go..
Peace Loves! Keep it up, whether your goal is gaining, losing, or just feeling good.. KEEP IT UP! (sorry for any typos!)
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Replies
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Aww!!! This made me smile!! What a great story and congrats on your success so far!!0
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Thanks! Im out to lose about 100 total! :-))0
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this was an absolutely gorgeous read! keep up your hard work, for YOU! YOU deserve this health and happiness
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Thanks for sharing. Sounds pretty sweet.0
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Good things happen to good people!0
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Lovely story. Sounds like you have both found you soul mates 0
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I had a boyfriend like that once. He encouraged me to loose weight, and I did. Only he encouraged a bit too much, and I lost a bit too much. I was in a horrible, dark place where I was neurotic about every bite I put in my mouth and equated my attractiveness and my worth to my weight.
So this story makes me worry a little. Because when I lost all the weight, and got to a healthy weight, and objectively looked really hot (I got hit on a LOT on nights out) - he still didn't check me out, and still didn't find me attractive. Nothing was ever good enough for him.
At the end of the day, if somebody loves you, they love your body. No matter what. They'll check you out at any weight, or flaw, because to them you are HOT.
It has taken me years (and a lot of regained weight) and a super supportive boyfriend, circle of friends and work colleagues to finally get back to a healthy mindset.
Please be kind to yourself. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.0 -
beautiful story but its incomplete without a pic of you two:grumble:0
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Aww, that's the sweetest love story I've ever heard! I'm glad that you are happy with your guy now. I am also glad you lost weight.
You are an inspiration!
Sometimes even the impossible things like, could this guy like me, or could we be together really does happens. You know.
Anyways, I am just super happy for you! Congrats on all your success!!<30 -
beautiful story but its incomplete without a pic of you two:grumble:
haha truth!
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FANTASTIC! You are already such a confident person, you will be AMAZING when you are"fit and fab"! He better watch out...you'll be too hot to handle! 0
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at the end of the day, we do these things for ourselves. if we do them for the wrong reason, it can reverse. so happy for u!! Be a strong lady!! we are soooooooooooooooooooooo worth it!0
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I had a boyfriend like that once. He encouraged me to loose weight, and I did. Only he encouraged a bit too much, and I lost a bit too much. I was in a horrible, dark place where I was neurotic about every bite I put in my mouth and equated my attractiveness and my worth to my weight.
So this story makes me worry a little. Because when I lost all the weight, and got to a healthy weight, and objectively looked really hot (I got hit on a LOT on nights out) - he still didn't check me out, and still didn't find me attractive. Nothing was ever good enough for him.
At the end of the day, if somebody loves you, they love your body. No matter what. They'll check you out at any weight, or flaw, because to them you are HOT.
It has taken me years (and a lot of regained weight) and a super supportive boyfriend, circle of friends and work colleagues to finally get back to a healthy mindset.
Please be kind to yourself. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.
+10 -
I love this story! Not going to read into it - it sounds like you have found yourself a great guy. And you are losing the weight for yourself and that is the right reason to do so.
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I love your story.. and how happy you seem. I just wish you were doing it for you, not him. Maybe you started it for him and it transferred to doing it for you (I hope). That way, if God-forbid you guys ever split, you wont give up b/c it was all for him.
Stay strong and congrats on the great loss!!0 -
Thanks for sharing0
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You go girl!0
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AMAZING! 31 pounds in 3 months is pure dedication.
GREAT GIRL GREAT GUY!0 -
I had a boyfriend like that once. He encouraged me to loose weight, and I did. Only he encouraged a bit too much, and I lost a bit too much. I was in a horrible, dark place where I was neurotic about every bite I put in my mouth and equated my attractiveness and my worth to my weight.
So this story makes me worry a little. Because when I lost all the weight, and got to a healthy weight, and objectively looked really hot (I got hit on a LOT on nights out) - he still didn't check me out, and still didn't find me attractive. Nothing was ever good enough for him.
At the end of the day, if somebody loves you, they love your body. No matter what. They'll check you out at any weight, or flaw, because to them you are HOT.
It has taken me years (and a lot of regained weight) and a super supportive boyfriend, circle of friends and work colleagues to finally get back to a healthy mindset.
Please be kind to yourself. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.
Hey any and ALL opinions welcomed! I know its hard to grasp a full book with only a chapter of it in front of you.. First I want to say i am beyond sorry for what you went through.. though i suspect it made you the person you are today.. :-)) Robert, actually asked me not to lose weight at first, because he didnt want me to think i had to change for him..If it wasnt for him I would have never opened my eyes to my health.. I went for a check up and found out that I was going to be in trouble if I dont get healthy. When I first met him he wasnt in love with me, there for I cant blame him at all for not wanting to continue down a road that would lead ME to pain.. But his heart took over and as I said in the story none of it mattered to him.. Im losing the weight for me, for me to feel good when I look in the mirror and to feel good and be active as I was in HS. I had to go through quite a few men, I was beat, cheated on, and just plain not good enough for them.. Robert is the first and only man to accept me as is, and love me. Hes told me many many times theres some days he loves me more than himself, also that hes not sure he deserves such a good person like me. I have no doubts about this relationship or him.. He will be my bestfriend for life.. Weve already promised, whether we make it or not, we are best friends for ever. This life, and we hope the next.0 -
I had a boyfriend like that once. He encouraged me to loose weight, and I did. Only he encouraged a bit too much, and I lost a bit too much. I was in a horrible, dark place where I was neurotic about every bite I put in my mouth and equated my attractiveness and my worth to my weight.
So this story makes me worry a little. Because when I lost all the weight, and got to a healthy weight, and objectively looked really hot (I got hit on a LOT on nights out) - he still didn't check me out, and still didn't find me attractive. Nothing was ever good enough for him.
At the end of the day, if somebody loves you, they love your body. No matter what. They'll check you out at any weight, or flaw, because to them you are HOT.
It has taken me years (and a lot of regained weight) and a super supportive boyfriend, circle of friends and work colleagues to finally get back to a healthy mindset.
Please be kind to yourself. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.
Oh also you did not in fact have a bf like mine, because there is no other bf like mine.. :-) He is one of a kind in my eyes.. 0
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