It took jealousy to get me here

roseprust1981

Hi all. I am Rose Marye. My first memory of realizing I was fat was as a young child when my younger brother and sisters teased me about the size of thighs and how much food I would eat. Whenever they did this it made me not eat for that meal. Somewhere along the line I learned to eat really fast and to eat as much as I could in secret, a habit I still have to this day. As I grew up, this became normal for me, so normal that I finish my meals before anyone else.

After high school I went straight to college where I had my first bout of major depression. The "freshman 15" for me was more like the freshman 100. It took me 5 years, many doctors and a frustrated mother to finally do something about it. At the time I weighed about 300 pounds. With the help of a doctor and his "magic pill" I lost about eighty pounds. Of course, that was then. Here I am now, seven years later.

My family has suffered a lot of tragedy over the last couple of years: a beloved cousin of mine was murdered in a horrible love triangle scandal, my paternal grandmother passed away due to the neglect of her primary caregiver (her son), my uncle who was an alcoholic drove himself into a pond and drowned, and most recently, my favorite aunt was killed in a car accident along with my 10 year old cousin.

Somewhere in the middle of all this tragedy I quit smoking and I started dating for the first time in my life and he is a foodie. The tragedies sent me into yet another major depressive episode. But this time I found the help of a doctor who didn't drown me in medication like the doctor after my first time in college way back when. He gave me one drug to take and though I abhor taking medication I have to admit, I am now happier. But not as happy as I could be.

The thing that is standing in my way of complete happiness is stepping on the scale and seeing a number between 312 and 316 popping up, consistently for the last six weeks. Even though I am now hitting the gym and have been for the last nearly three weeks it is still between 312 and 316 which is frustrating me to now end.

That is why I am introducing myself. I need friends. I need people who will be my weight loss buddies. I already have one, my cousin Mandi who has gone through much the same things I have and is what brought me here as she is dropping weight hand over fist and I am still struggling to get below that damned 312 mark. So, if you are like me and need buddies and inspiration to lose weight, please request to add me as your friend. We can all do this thing if we work together. Help me for the sake of my main goal: my guy and I want to start our family, but I need to lose weight first because at this point, getting pregnant would bring me up to nearly 400 pounds and that is not a road a can take.

shelli1982

Feel free to add me. I've been on here for a while, and have been heavy my whole life too... we can do it together

sassyjae21

Hi Rose!

So sorry to hear about your family tragedies. That's terrible. You have taken an important step in getting your health back. Best of luck to you! You can so do this!

Sarahndipity30

Feel Free to add me..

As for your weight loss..You may be doing a number of things wrong, as I was.. Do you weigh and measure your food? Are you overestimating your foods? and actually eating more calories then you think you are?. Are you binging or indulging on weekends, something I did quite a bit of..only to know a whole weeks worth of progress out the window in 2 days. Are you eating at maintenance instead of at a deficit?

I am 6'1" and at 306 lbs. Back in the fall when I started I couldn't get below 310. the same 10 lbs would drop and come right back..I was not counting on weekends.. And I wasn't getting to the gym..and I was eating at what I thought was a good number for me..but turns out with the amount I need to lose..i actually needed to drop my net down a bit.

I would love to be your friend..this isn't an easy ride..but the awesome and amazingly supportive and encouraging people on MFP make it a little bit easier each day that you stick to it

Abi198111

Add me too

mel5580

Feel free to friend me also..I have a long journey ahead but this is a great place to be with lots of support...we can do this together

llabruce4

Sorry for all you have been through. Add me if you would like, I am supportive and comment regularly on all my friends updates. Congrats on making this change and just win each day

bamadwl

Feel free to add me, along with anyone else on this post if you like. I started off at approximately 450 lbs and am down to about 250 lbs now. It's not an easy journey, but you can do it!

prettyface55

We are here to help eachother. you can add me

roseprust1981

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragements. I appreciate it. I believe that now that I am counting calories, working out and have some friends who will help keep me motivated that I can do this, one day at a time. I wrote this post before getting ready for school and packing my lunch. After writing my post I packed my lunch bag with a pineapple greek yogurt for breakfast, my favorite flavor and a progresso lite soup for lunch with an orange for desert. I know the soup has sodium in spades but my medicine I mentioned has a tendency to lower sodium so doc says I have to have extra in my diet, which means I get to battle water rentention!

palmerdanielle

Feel free to add me, I try to keep active on here and this time around I'm having some success. I try to be positive and supportive, and trust me you can do this! I've been overweight since childhood, too, and up until January would binge eat daily. I keep my food diary open as well if you want to have a look. It's proof that while overall I'm eating better and not having junk daily, I can still have it if it fits in my calories and goals, and I keep losing weight, it's awesome.
For the first two weeks I ate really healthy and dropped an initial 8 lbs or so and since I've been learning that I can still have some of my sweets and higher calorie food if I can fit them in honestly I started to eat how I imagine I'd like to when I've lost the weight, so eating better but not constantly denying myself the yummy stuff ( I like the 80/20 rule, 80% healthy 20% other) once it was clear how much more realistic this approach was I've been doing great, because in the past when I'd try to eat better I always cut out everything bad and would give up after a few weeks or loss of a few pounds. Not this time. Everyone has to find what works for them.

thegingerpirate

Great job on learning to fit things you love into your healthier lifestyle! Nothing kills motivation like facing a lifetime of no chocolate :O