Handling Discouragement/ Lack of Support

MurderMonroe

I wanted to start this forum because I'm interested in seeing how you all handle discouragement and lack of support. Right now, I'm dealing with the fact that I'm attempting to start this free exercise/clean eating challenge in March and I've emailed loads of people, posted it on here, posted it everywhere and no one seems interested in joining which is deflating. Although I'm already pumped to do it myself and have convinced my fiance to join as well, I was hoping for a small group or community of support. So regarding the challenge it's a bit disappointing but I'll keep it moving.

How do you all handle discouraging road blocks or support during your journey?

shortarsethatsme

Having battled with my weight since my early teens and now in my early 40's - discouragement and lack of support can affect me in different ways. I've always been a yo-you dieter but not stuck at exercise. I tend to go through periods of being all or nothing and being manic when it comes to eating healthy and going to the gym then it totally falls by the wayside and I don't visit the gym for weeks if not months at a time.
I wouldn't say I ever have a lack of support or discouragement from people that are closest to me. If anything it has come across as random attacks and people saying they seem me as failing at everything I want to achieve and always end up back where I have started.

KnM0107

Nobody has an obligation to support anyone. The "clean eating" deal would be a deal breaker for me. What is YOUR definition of "clean eating" anyway? Everyone has their own...

KnewBGNG

My personal opinion is this, If you want something you go get it!! Everyone is different, and I don't want to make my journey any more difficult than it already is. In the end you must be your own motivation because by depending on others, you will more than likely fail.

Wiseandcurious

I've emailed loads of people, posted it on here, posted it everywhere and no one seems interested in joining which is deflating.

Honestly, I am baffled by this sentence. Why would that be deflating? In what way is that a sign of lack of support? Why *should* they join? May be your challenge doesn't appeal to their personal tastes or goals or may be they have too much else going on.

Surely you can find the strength in you to do what you believe you should do without relying on others to cheer-lead you along!

*Previous two posters beat me to it - could have replaced all my post with "+1"

MurderMonroe

The point of this is I am understanding that people aren't obligated to support and regardless of the level of "support" I receive since in the end, I'm doing this for me, the support of others in a way is irrelevant. In the end it's you that has to keep going whether people are in your corner rooting for you or not. It's not inhuman or hard to believe that sometimes feelings of discouragement come along with that. I know the facts I know what people are or are not "obligated" to do. That's not the point, my interest is how others have dealt with feeling discouraged and how they persevered with receiving a lack of support with an idea, plan, diet whatsoever whether it's your family or online community. Regardless if 0 or 2000 people join in will not affect what I do for myself. Excuse me for not articulating correctly when I say "not interested" when contacting people as I'm getting zero responses at all. It's my "community fitness noob" mindset that I see all these groups and challenges that gain support and when you personally contact people and they don't even reply with a "I'm not interested" it leaves you hanging. My personal thoughts leave me feeling slightly deflated with being left hanging without walking away with a "well F you then" attitude.

I'm here to learn and I want to help and support as many people as possible while improving myself. I lost over 110 pounds already with no support and was intensely excited about starting group challenges to help other who are struggling. So if what I offered doesn't work then.... yes that's completely fine, and with the understanding that people aren't obligated to reply, support or do anything... free will is a biggie these days well, that's just my personal attitude of being considerate when someone directly emails you. Just being left hanging high and dry with zero feedback whatsoever is the slight reason for deflation... community wise.

My challenge is not written to a T or a step by step set of directions that had to be followed as I understand that not every lifestyle fits to a challenge. Perhaps I can ask people how my challenges can be improved for the future or any tips from people who have started group challenges before. This won't stop me from starting any future challenges it's just how can you improve when you're just staring at a blank. Thanks for your responses.

MurderMonroe

My personal opinion is this, If you want something you go get it!! Everyone is different, and I don't want to make my journey any more difficult than it already is. In the end you must be your own motivation because by depending on others, you will more than likely fail.

Awesome. Thanks for the response! My motivation is always determined by me, I'm new to the "community" weight loss as up to this point it's been done all on my own and will continue to be done on my own. I'm just sharing my journey with others. I thought I could help others by starting a group challenge in which there is a intense hub of support. But hey, I've been doing just fine by myself and I hope others on their own journeys reach success any way.

MurderMonroe

Having battled with my weight since my early teens and now in my early 40's - discouragement and lack of support can affect me in different ways. I've always been a yo-you dieter but not stuck at exercise. I tend to go through periods of being all or nothing and being manic when it comes to eating healthy and going to the gym then it totally falls by the wayside and I don't visit the gym for weeks if not months at a time.
I wouldn't say I ever have a lack of support or discouragement from people that are closest to me. If anything it has come across as random attacks and people saying they seem me as failing at everything I want to achieve and always end up back where I have started.

Thanks for your response! I agree with your input. There seems to be so much support yet so little at the same time. People ask honest questions based on what they see, I can't really dwell on anyone's perspective. However I can use their perspectives whether their perspective is negative or positive as a reflection on how I can improve myself.

sarahcav123

In my opinion, I have one life... and I'm going to live it in the best way I know how. If someone doesn't agree with the way I do things, or with my weight loss goals, then so be it - they probably just have different goals to me. Healthy living and weight loss is a competition... against yourself. No one else should be included in that competition. This is about you doing this for yourself and any discouragement should be entirely shrugged off. I just remember why I'm doing this and what I'm setting out to achieve. And I want to achieve my goals so much that any negativity means nothing to me: why bring negativity to your life when you can be positive - its so much better for you.

Those who set out to be negative or pass judgement on your life clearly have too much time on their hands.

lolosensan

I agree with what people are saying in that you should do you! But I understand your frustration. I know what it feels like to watch certain boards get soooo much attention and then you post something and...crickets...I tried to get people in my area on board working out together a couple years ago. I got nothing. It seems the ones that get the most momentum are the ones that require the least of people. For example I bet if you posted a "Lose 10 lbs in March" challenge you would get an overwhelming response (even though I know that's not your motive) and I would bet that a lot of those people wouldn't follow through. But being that getting a ton of responses isn't your true goal, I would say move on and focus on what is.

I saw your post the other day about the March challenge. It didn't appeal to me because I don't like to drink my calories. Even in delicious smoothies full of plenty of protein, for some reason I'm weird and it never seems to matter what I put in them, I still want chewable food afterwards. Sometimes I try to have a smoothie instead of a meal and then I just want something hearty like steak and potatoes...lol. anyway I may consider doing some kind of clean eating challenge, but for right now, what's working is not putting major restrictions on myself. I already feel pressure from a calorie goal, so when I take away the little pleasures (mainly sugar and chocolate) I tend to drive myself crazy. The other thing that drives me crazy is setting out to accomplish a food related challenge and falling short. I convince myself that I can do something every time and then when I "fail", I beat myself up, feel bad for myself, and then binge on whatever I want. It seems now a days that not starting a food challenge in the first place is the easiest way to prevent my own derailment.

Anyway, I think it's awesome that you want to challenge yourself and become a healthier person. I think we all want this in the end. It takes a certain kind of person to really stick to a cleanse though. I don't know you but I would say judging by what you've accomplished so far, you're definitely that persevering, coming out on top kind of person. GO GET WHAT YOU WANT!!

rubydrm

Last week I was completely discouraged because I had gained BACK the 6 lbs I was down. I still kept going to the classes I was going to (cycling and weights class) but I could tell I wasn't getting in a good workout. I wasn't putting in the extra effort to make it a good workout, I was just going through the motions. It took me a couple of days (like 5) to get out of the gloomy stage and now I feel better and am back at it full force. That's how I work through the discouragement...Just keep moving on.

As far as lack of interest in a 'clean eating' group--I think the difficulty in getting people interested is that there are many different views on what clean eating actually is. I have seen forum and threads all over the place (not always on this site) where people go back and forth to the end of the universe and back debating this topic. Don't take it personally--the lack of interest is the same reason why I don't participate in the monthly challenges that you already referred to...they just aren't what I'm looking to do. I hope that you do it still for yourself though!!