Your Friend..

LB30

Anyone have that friend who is spiraling out of control? I have one. I've been worried about her for quite some time. That friend who is smart, funny, pretty, insert any other positive adjective. My friend, whom I've known since junior high, is on this trajectory. Her weight has gotten so high that I fear for her. I know that she's battled this since we were kids. I know that she has stress, family issues, and maybe a host of other issues that I know nothing of. She takes (and has been taking) more meds than anyone of our age (now 44) should ever be taking. The rest of our circle knows why, but what do you say?

I have never battled weight like she does. I have my own issues (why I'm here) but. not to this degree. Part of me feels I have no right to say a word, I don't understand, et. al., but the other part fears for her health, her life. We, not so long ago, went to a funeral of a friend and, afterward, sat in the parking lot just talking. When I came time to go, she struggled to get up. She laughs it off, bad joints, bad back, etc. But, we all know the culprit. Excess weight. The large amt. of meds? Excess weight. Other get togethers, she brings lots of food.Even if we say, lets just have some popcorn and watch a chic-flic. No one wants to be the one to say anything for fear of offending someone we care about that much. But at the same time, if we were to lose her?

I know that weight loss is a personal decision, personal journey, etc. But does anyone have this person in their life that they worry over? And, if so, what do you do/say?

amy_kee

I know that I'm big and are having health problems because of it. I know I would wish for a good, caring friend to talk to me about my weight and the problems it does cause with your health. I think you would be brave and caring to talk to your friend. Someone needs to talk to her, because she might could use that concern and reinforcement of knowledge of all the health risks (assuming she already is aware of things). If you do talk to her, be sure to talk to her alone, without others being around or in hearing distance. That creates a totally different atmosphere. Hopefully, if you think a lot about how to approach the subject and what all you want to say, she might be very receptive to you and appreciate that you care enough to come to her and try and help her.

Also, try to suggest ways that would teach her what she needs to be doing, like helping her follow through and see a dietitian for starters. You learn so much from a good dietitian and she would have even more suggestions for your friend. You can also talk to her and find out what types of exercise she would be more likely to do, and consider that she might not know a lot about what exercise she would like or could do. Maybe offer to exercise doing so easy things first, and taking it slow because she is so big---with her as an exercise buddy, which might help motivate her. Another good option for a lot of very large people is aqua aerobics in the pool at certain gyms. I know the YMCA and others offer this and have electronic seats for helping the people get in and out of the pool. The more you can get her the knowledge she needs to learn HOW to eat right and get some motivation for some form of exercise (and then meet more people while doing that), the better off she will be.
Amy

LB30

Thank you.