want my mind to be free

mind2Bfree

Have been around myfitnesspal for a while but haven't got around to make good friends that I can call friends.
Going thru a confusing phase of life now - 5 years married with a 2 year old darling daughter. And as most stories here - i've piled on weight during the last 5 years.
Nowadays my husband looks at me with disgust. I have been loosing inches and have lost quiet a bit over the last year. But he want's me to melt it away i think.

He wants me to starve, eat only salads. I knw that is not the healthy way of eating and want to loose the weight healthy so that i can maintain it...but his continuous demotiviation & no words of encouragement or no help as such gets me so low.

The only thing good he does (in a bad way) is remind me everytime on how big I am. My mind is constantly ..i mean constantly thinking how to get the weight off & that unfortunately at times makes me want to turn more towards it. The weekends are bad as i'm at home all day & find it difficult to stay away frm food.

Any true friiends that can help me out. I'm 215 pounds and would like to go atleast 40 pounds down!

Thanks!

LinDiSm26262

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. I was married to a man like that once...thankfully that was a long time ago. I got Graves Disease and gained a lot of weight while I was sick. Unfortunately, it effected my thyroid and it was very hard to lose. Even though I forbade him to talk to me in a demeaning way, his looks persisted.

I decided to ignore his insulting looks and began to focus on myself. i started exercising, cooking only healthy meals, and telling myself that one day I would be healthy again because I was worth it. After losing 48 pounds and getting compliments from friends, he began telling me how great I looked and how much he loved me.

The damage was already done. Once I reached goal I moved on with my life and left him behind for various reasons, such as being unfaithful while I was overweight, treating me disrespectful, etc.

I'm not saying you should leave your husband, I'm just sharing my story. You should begin focusing on loving yourself and getting healthy for you and your child. That's the motivation you need to reach your goal. I guarantee that once he sees you losing weight, he will sit up and take notice. Don't be surprised if he gets a little jealous and wonders what you're up to.

Good luck! You can do it!

beachlover317

I am really sorry that you are trying to get healthy around an unhealthy person. If the only good thing he does is tell you how big you are - that's really not that good, huh?

I would love to say that it's going to be easy - but it's not. The bottom line is this is your battle. As disrespectful as it is for your husband to not be supportive - that's on him. You are the one in control of what you eat, when you eat and how you go about losing weight. Many times, people in our lives are not supportive or at the least they don't know HOW to be supportive.

Do your research. Eat at a healthy deficit to your TDEE; weigh/measure/log every bite that you eat (every one); find something you like to do and do it consistently (not necessary for weight loss but critical for mental health); be patient and give yourself time to learn to eat normal foods in moderation. That will be your biggest goal and reward.

Best of luck to you. :flowerforyou:

sloth3toes

Will your husband be happy if you lose the weight?

TX_Rhon

Ok, I'll say it. He is not being helpful by "reminding" you how big you are!

This is your battle, your challenge. You know you do not have to eat just salads to lose the weight. You have been here for a bit, stick to your calorie allowance and you will see the difference. Remember the weight didn't happen overnight so you will not lose it overnight.

Ignore his comments. Focus on you and your daughter. You got this :flowerforyou:

wozkaa

Wow, you've lost 19lb so far! That's awesome. :-D We have a similar amount to lose in total by the looks of your ticker.

I have 2 x 14 mth old girls, I am here EVERY DAY. Add me if you like!