Trying to regain health and nutrition after eating disorder

Sostacey100

The past 5 years I've had serious food issues. I was borderline underweight , 5'5 115 lbs during my worst at 16 years old. I'm now 20 and 138 lbs and everyone thinks I've recovered fully because I'm at a healthy weight. I don't engage in bulimic behaviors anymore however I don't eat as much as I should either. I now find myself in a never ending cycle and fluctuate between 133-140 lbs. 140 lbs being my attempt at eating 1500 calories but then I see how much weight i put on and get discouraged and start living off of coffee and light foods, going back to 133 lbs. then my body is screaming for health, I start getting muscle twitches and light headedness. I developed a mindset that I was healthy as long as I wasn't rail thin, but really, Ive done the most damage to my body by depriving it of necessary nutrition. In addition to quitting smoking recently, having coffee and starbucks and picking on food throughout the day for the past 2 years has left me feeling lethargic and weak. I lack muscle tone (my butt has an okay shape but it's flabby like jello) and every time i exercise I cannot last longer than 10 minutes without getting extremely sweaty and tired and getting a dry mouth doesn't help. My natural weight before I had my eating disorder was about 145 lbs, and I'm afraid to balloon up to that weight again but I know my body needs nutrients. And I lack so much of it.
Here's an example of what I had yesterday; I had coffee with cream and sugar in the morning, plus a hard boiled egg. Then I had 2 bacon egg and cheese cups my little sister made in a muffin tray. Then I picked on some tortilla chips and in the evening I had a half avocado blt turkey sandwich with half of a Fuji Apple salad from Panera.
This morning I've had coffee with a cup of oatmeal so far.
I'm tired of feeling weak yet I can't seem to shake this .
Any guidance for what kind of foods to be eating and what kind of exercises to build strength. I tried using ankle weights but couldn't go past 30 reps because I was just so shaky. I went to the gym this morning and was on the elliptical for 7 minutes before getting off because I was just lacking so much energy for it.

I so desire to be strong and fit, please give me some guidance. I am getting cellulite on my thighs.and I don't even eat like a normal person. I'm afraid of getting more cellulite if I eat 1500 calories a day.

nenshali

Hello dear!

Right now I am in recovery from bulimia and using MFP to regain a healthy, structured life.
I'd like to share some general advice I am following as well:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1198789-how-to-stay-motivated-while-being-depressed-after-a-relapse

And in addition to this, I have to tell you: Yes, it is possible that you'll gain weight at first. I know this is hard, very hard, I am struggling myself with accepting this.
I am 5'5 and at 132lb right now (and being around 130lbs is the first time in YEARS that I feel at ease with my body) and I have to tolerate that my body might get back about 5-10lbs

BUT it's not for ever and it is WORTH it. I started eating regularly about a month ago, didn't log in here at MFP at first because I didn't want to count calories, but after I did so anyway (and I HAVE to write a journal) I thought why not.

I would recommend you to eat more regularly. My therapist told me to eat 3 main meals and 2 small meals in between. Breakfast in the first 2 hours after standing up. In between the main meals should not be more than 5-6 hours.
The first small meal should be in the morning, the second one in the afternoon.
As a small meal counts a yogurt, a banana, a bigger apple, a bar of chocolate, some cookies, stuff like that.

In a main meal must be something to give you energy (when I suggested an apple and some yogurt as a breakfast, it was not enough, I'd have to add oatmeal or something like that).

I know it maybe seems a little bit overwhelming, but it's possible, it's worth it and it'll give you some more energy!
Try to add fruits and vegetables to every meal (one of it; or both ). Eat lots of protein after this helps you building muscles AND keps you more satisfied and full. Fat is important, as well. And well, don't cut out carbs too much, either. Everything in moderation.

Avocado and turkey sounds already great, for example. Eggs also (and bacon is yummie ). But I'd try to create more balanced meals and bigger meals, that keep you full longer (and don't eat too little!)
I hope I could maybe help you a little bit and if you want, feel free to add me. Maybe we can motivate each other

SunofaBeach14

There was another ED thread this morning, and my advice is the same:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1203152-gaining-weight-eating-disorder-recovery?page=1#posts-18812574

Focus on getting enough protein and good fats while hitting your calorie goals and start strength training. Watching yourself get stronger can help create a virtuous circle of self confidence, self esteem and continued eating enough calories and the right kind of exercise. Weight lifting has worked wonders for friends and family, but you could also start with bodyweight exercises

Do not forget to keep your self talk positive and remind yourself that you deserve to be healthy and are worth all the effort.