Scared To Fail

nikkijames123

I have been on so many diets and I keep gaining ten punds after each one. I seek a change of LIFE. I have not however tried it as a non-smoker. I quit smoking a year ago. I am in process of putting out a new record and I need to make a couple of appearances. I want to feel and look my best. I am 46 and I feel about 50. I want to feel 40 . I have two beautiful boys that need a healthy mom and a partner that I want to be my best for. I have done Weight Watchers. I don't think it's food choices are the healthiest as I am more inot non-processed foods and organic foods. It is also hallenging to make the meetings and is rarely (one on one). I am hoping that this is a little easier for me. I really need people support and I am a supporter too! I want to get off FB and do something good for myself (get some fitness pals!) and be an insipration to others. This is day two on my sugar cleanse and I am feeling really hungry for carbs. I miss chocolate the most I will have a little coffee and drink some water.

valj20

You'll only fail if you don't start! You seem like you're really focused on your goals. Congratulations on quitting smoking!!! I can't stress enough how awesome that is!

You'd be surprised just how much weight loss is in portion control, which MFP helps out a lot with for me! Seeing the physical calorie numbers and then getting added up makes me realize that I need to place my calories in a healthier way. If there is a meal that I know is close to 1000cal, I'll save up enough throughout the day for it, or if I end up in the red, I will go on a longer walk or do a harder workout.

Just keep at it and you will surely lose it. Just don't go crazy on that 'diet' word. This isn't a diet, it'a a lifestyle change.

Best of luck!

jkestens63

The only time you truly fail is if you give up. My best advice to you is be patient... I actually started a healthier lifestyle in 2008 and have not reached my goal. But I'm not giving up, I will keep on working at it.

My next best piece of advice: don't try to change everything at once. Focus on one or two issues at a time. I always had nutrition goal and a fitness goal. For example, I started with not buying candy bars to snack on when out doing errands and walking to the mailbox & back. Once I had mastered them I chose the next goal. The mailbox one took about a month to become routine, then I changed it to walking around the storage area across the street. The candy bar thing took about three months to become routine. Then I chose no fast food delivery at home.

Good luck, it's really hard but if you really want it you can do it.

Deipneus

jkesten63 wrote:

The only time you truly fail is if you give up. My best advice to you is be patient... I actually started a healthier lifestyle in 2008 and have not reached my goal. But I'm not giving up, I will keep on working at it.

My next best piece of advice: don't try to change everything at once. Focus on one or two issues at a time.

Very good advice here from jkesten63 (who also happens to be one of my MFP friends).

The only thing I might add is that while we are all different, I've seen interviews with athletes who said that one of the things that motivated them to succeed is their fear of failure. Best wishes to you.

bf43005

Remember that when you start this it needs to be a life change. So don't just "Diet" and then go back to the way things were. Also if you have a "bad day" that doesn't erase everything you have already done. You pick back up the next day and start all over again. Don't give up because you are worth it.

Feel free to add me as a friend. Best of luck!!

JesterMFP

I have been on so many diets and I keep gaining ten punds after each one.

Wel, I respectfully suggest this is where you may be going wrong....

This is day two on my sugar cleanse and I am feeling really hungry for carbs. I miss chocolate the most I will have a little coffee and drink some water.

Stop going on diets. Stop restricting foods you enjoy unless you have a genuine medical reason to do so. Eat the foods you love, meet your calorie goal. If you want to make changes to your diet, then cool, but make them slowly. Make changes you can live with, and don't associate the types of foods you choose to eat or not eat with being able to lose weight. You don't need to cut carbs to succeed, and you don't need to give up chocolate. The more restrictive you make your food choices, the more likely you are to give in and give up at some point down the road.

heartcallah

you go where you are headed… so if you think you'll fail, you will fail. Visualize success because you got this! If you truly want to change your life, stop eating prepackaged foods. Fill up on REAL foods with REAL ingredients. Avoid anything refined (and yes, I mean grains, breads, sugars!). Veggies, fruits, meat, nuts, eggs. That's it. It's tough while your body detoxed but you will feel so much better and that will lead you to long term success.

auntiebabs

Fall down 7 times get up 8...
Failure is part of the process.
Try something, then adjust it, then try again. Rinse and repeat

Here is what worked for me.

The good news is you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.

++Track for a week or two before worrying about losing. This way you'll see where you really stand, odds are it is different than where you thought you were, which is actually good news...

++Be scrupulously honest... you can lie to your friends, you can lie in your diary, you can lie to yourself, but YOUR BODY KNOWS EVERYTHING YOU EAT. So you might as well be honest in your diary (keep it private if you like) but you need that info because you can't get where you are going if your are not honest about where you are right now.

++See where you can make small changes on things that aren't so important to you.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

++Focus on what you should eat not what your shouldn't.
Eating your nutritious foods first. Your body will be more satisfied and have less cravings.

++Small sustainable changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress. (and who doesn't have stress?)
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort, sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves. Also rather than having to think about everything all the time. You only have to think about a 2 or 3 new things to focus on.

++Rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me. (I swear this saved my life.) I was happier once I gave myself a range:

ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.

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(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)

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++Only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Forget I *NEED* to lose 20, 30, 50, 100 lbs. I'm only worried about 1 lb the next one. I'll worry about the others later.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )

++Think of losing weight like the stock market. Yes, there will be fluctuations but as long as the overall trend is the the right direction don't worry

Food is not the enemy. You need nutrition to fuel your body and make it strong. and healthy just feels so damn good.

Most vitamins are fat soluable... so remember to include plant and fish based fats (HAPPY FATS) so you can access the nutrients in your food.

All of your foods fall into 1 or more of 3 macro nutrient categories
FATS • CARBS • PROTEINS ... I personally think it's unwise to severely restrict any one of these categories.
Instead of eliminating or limiting quantity focus on the quality...

HAPPY FATS (Plant and fish bases)
COMPLEX CARBS (un or minimally processed)
LEAN PROTEINS

Oddly enough, on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time, now the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.

leaner426

I'm turning 50 soon, look much younger and have several chronic conditions. I tried Weight Watchers about a year ago and that program isn't as effective as this website. So I know where you're coming from.

Reading your post your biggest obstacle will be mental - your head. The first thing you need to do is change your perspective. You can't fail this - what you eat is a live long activity, it's like saying your afraid you'll fail at walking, breathing or bathing. Some days you walk more, breathe heavier or skip a shower - that doesn't mean you failed or excelled on those days.

Best advice for a healthy lifestyle - focus on trying to hit certain macro goals like getting the recommended amount of protein, fiber, sugar or carbs or getting a certain amount of exercise. You can succeed each day on these items. If you don't hit a goal (like you inhale a bag of chocolate an blow the sugar goal) then pay attention to how it made you feel. The next time you're tempted you can remember how sick you felt and it may help you over the temptation. Focussing on those things makes the weight much less important/obsessive. At the same time focussing on those things will cause you to lose weight.

Last - you don't have to deprive yourself of anything. I work out so I have a few calories to play with. You cannot spend your life in a state of deprivation. That is a sure road to quitting. Good luck, it sounds like lots of great and exciting things are happening in your life. Realize you deserve it and going for other things you want, like your health, become easier.

captmiddy

Stop going on diets. Stop restricting foods you enjoy unless you have a genuine medical reason to do so. Eat the foods you love, meet your calorie goal. If you want to make changes to your diet, then cool, but make them slowly. Make changes you can live with, and don't associate the types of foods you choose to eat or not eat with being able to lose weight. You don't need to cut carbs to succeed, and you don't need to give up chocolate. The more restrictive you make your food choices, the more likely you are to give in and give up at some point down the road.

Read the above and then read it again. When you cut the things you love you crave them, when you crave them you eat them without control and then you ruin your progress at least for the day. Sprinkle all the things you love to eat throughout your meal plans, making sure that they fit into your calorie plan. Yes I eat Pizza, Yes I have had Cheesecake, Yes I have even had a Whoopie Pie (last weekend in fact mmmm, not for all three just the whoopie pie). Sure there will be days when you look at your calorie target and want to cry, or yell or throw the plan into the toilet, but stick to it, it gets easier as you become accustom to the number of calories you are targeting.

Also always remember you can earn more calories with exercise, I wouldn't eat all my exercise calories (I hardly even eat 50% of them most of the time) but you certainly can eat them and enjoy them. If you want to call it earning treats go ahead, or you can just think of it as normalizing your calorie numbers so you can stick to your plan more easily. Whatever motivates you.

CodeMonkey78

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Just take it one step at a time, one pound at a time, and one day at a time; just don't give up!

And, one of my personal favorites: "The difference in winning and losing is most often... Not quitting." - Walt Disney

auntiebabs

Just take it one step at a time, one pound at a time, and one day at a time; just don't give up!

!