Will I ever be happy with my body?

Mockingbirds531

I dont know what to do you guys.

I try to look at myself in the mirror and call myself beautiful. But I know I'm not. I got rejected too many times by friends and handsome guys that i was too fat for them and that the skinnier people were more attractive. I simply can't see myself as a good person, i always get comments from foreigners that I'm a fat American, it sticks with me so much. I really can't feel good enough about myself.

I used to be way too thin. I used to be 30 pounds underweight. And everyone hated my body, even though i deprived myself of so much time and food to become thin like a model. I gained back 60 pounds and some more. Now everyone tells me that i should stop gaining weight. Oh god. I've never been in a place where others think I'm good enough.

I have a super hard time sticking to my diet because i feel like i will NEVER be happy with my body. I restrict heavily and then i binge because i know that i can't ever be happy with my body because in other people's eyes i will be lazy, hamburger-loving American, and it hurts every day. Should I give into my food cravings because dieting is so pointless if i am always going to feel ugly? Or is feeling good about my body POSSIBLE? Please tell me, because I've NEVER felt good about it. I even try to but i can't. It consumes every thought of my life.

sugarstrawberries

*hugs* You are a wonderful person and your body is beautiful because it contains YOU, a wonderful person.
Everyone else can **** right off, really.
Where are you living as a foreign American? Do you have friends there?

Unfortunately, women of the western world will always be taught that they are not good enough. However, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! You are perfect just the way you are, and it will help yourself to know that. Instead of focusing on being beautiful, tell yourself you are perfect. You are perfect. You are perfect. And no one can change that.

LKArgh

If there are really people coming up to you and calling you fat and lazy out of the blue, or telling you they are avoiding you because you are not attractive, you really have very weird friends, so losing these people will fix the problem. However, if e.g. a sibling or friend came to me with what you just said, I would not consider this a physical issue, but a reason to consult a therapist. It sounds like you have very low self esteem. Your body image consuming your every thought is a reason to step off the scale, stop looking at the mirror and get into therapy. No amount of dieting, exercising or whatever is going to solve this, a therapist will help you get through this.