went from skinny to fatty in 2.2 years :(

staiseak

So I used to be in great shape and over the past 2 years I have somehow managed to put on an extra 80lbs. Yes-80lbs in 2 years. shocking. Part of it is from fertility treatments and hormones and part of it is me. After several recurrent pregnancy losses I fell into a rut. and started to hate my body because my body would not carry a pregnancy. I stopped packing food to take to work with me as it was too easy to drive through a drive thru and have someone else make it for me. After seeing pictures that we took at the beach this summer I was appalled at the state that my body was in. I didn't even recognize myself. There was this really fat woman with massive stomach rolls standing next to my hot husband when there used to be a trim and fit young woman. It made me cry. I used to have energy to backpack and hike and ride horses competively . After I lost the babies I didn't want to do anything anymore. My horse is now fat in the pasture and I get out of breath when I go to catch him and when I brush him. I want to get in shape and be healthy so that I can keep up with my family and get back to doing the things that that I used to love. I lost part of myself and have been in a dark place the past 2 years but now it is time to pick myself up and take control of my life. I have to admit, I ate horribly today (I ate way under my recommended caloric intake) but at least I didn't eat fast food.

♥_Ellybean_♥

Have you ever been tested or diagnosed with PCOS?

reneelee

WOW! It sounds like you have had a rough two years. It also sounds like you have a loving and supportive Husban.
You have come to a great site lots of friendly helpfull people. The daily help with calorie counting will get you going in the right direction. I find it best to make the time in the morning to fill out what I will have for breakfast , lunch and my night time snack. I hope you stick with it and make some new friends while you are here, and enjoy the process of gaining control over your life again.

byrdhouse2006

I am so sorry about the fertility issues and not being able to stay pregnant. My heart truly goes out to you (and your husband). From August 2008 until the beginning of 2010 my husband and I were under the care of infertility doctors. It was an emotional roller coaster for a good 18 months. We went through IUI procedures, which included Clomid, had surgery (one tube removed the other one opened back up) and one cycle of IVF. The IVF didn't work and I felt like I just wanted to die inside. Its been 8 months since the IVF procedure failed. There are days where it still gets to me. My husband is great. The days I don't feel like going to the gym he encourages me to just go out for a walk. If its nice he'll go with me when he gets home from work.

I encourage you, even on the days you don't feel like it to go out for a walk. You'll get back to where you want to be. It will take some time, but you will get there. I don't know you but I sure am proud of you for taking those steps to get back in shape and healthy again!

MizzMazz

Oh, I am so sorry. I know how you feel; it has happened to me more than once, and I know how hard it is to look in the mirror or at pictures, or when people see you and you know they're thinking, "How could she let herself go?"

It sucks. You're already feeling bad because your having fertility problems and this on top of it.

Depression and laziness set me on my path, but I'm trying to get back after it. If you feel like it, we can offer support for each other. You're not alone; this is a great board.

gnrshelton

You have started your journey. It happens to the best of us some faster than others but if it was just you gaining weight there wouldn't be a need for a site like this one. Accountability is a great motivator. Maybe you didn't eat all your calories BUT you didn't eat fast food. That's great. I to lost myself in the sea of fat. It took me longer but it still added up. I started this site about 5 weeks ago and have lost 10 pounds. I have ups and downs just like you will have but its what we learn along the way that helps us continue. Just remember it didn't happen overnight and it won't be overnight to get back to where you were. Just stay the course and know there are people rooting for you. You CAN DO IT.

melodyg

It sounds like you have had a really rough few years. I know that fertility meds do a number on your weight... and all of the depression and bad feelings and stress that can come with fertility issues make it hard to take care of yourself too. It sounds like you are in a better place now and ready to start working on taking care of you. I can relate to that! I've spent too much of the last few years dealing with depression and stress (some from fertility issues, some from other) and not taking care of myself too.

I'd start by taking some baby steps. Eat your daily calories and make a few good substitutions... drink plenty of water... take those vitamins... take some time for you every day whether that is time to do something you enjoy or getting in some exercise. There is a ton of support here!

staiseak

wow, thanks you guys. I can't believe all of the support on here!!! This site seems to be more encouraging than one of the fertility sites i am on! I have been tested for PCOS and was diagnosed based on an elevated testosterone level, however I don't have cystic ovaries. If I really do have PCOS, I am in denial because I don't want to take the Metformin. I tried it for 2 months and really thought I was dying and allergic to the medicine so I stopped taking it. My husband and I have had every test under the sun trying to find the culprit of recurrent pregnancy loss and none can be found. I really think the weight gain is causing problems with my feritility as it is harder to conceive now so I guess I am not ovulating good eggs or as often as I think I am. I am feeling kind of good about myself for taking these first steps now. I can do this. One day at a time.