Never-ending Cycle

Eve_e

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat. It's a disgusting cycle that never stops.
I try to have normal days. I eat healthy foods, allow room for reasonable treats, eat enough. And yet still, without fail, my urge to binge gets so strong that I can't help it. And I eat to bursting. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop binge eating. I'm sorry. I needed to say it somewhere.

Sweetie_darling

Oh honey, I feel ya!

I don't have a heap of advice to offer sorry. Just hang in there and be very kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy, healthy and loved!

Feel free to add me.

Take care Xx

lilawolf

I'm going to throw out a bunch of stuff, advice and questions to consider, that may or may not be helpful:

Do you drink at least 8 glasses of water a day?

How much food is "enough"? How many calories is a good day? How many calories is a binge?

What are your macros on a good day? Do you get enough fat and protein?

Do you get enough sleep?

Are you losing or gaining weight?

Have you seen a therapist?

When do you want to binge? Is it stress? Anger? Body image? Depression? After alcohol?

Have you tried doing other things when the urge strikes? Chew gum, brush your teeth, drink water, exercise, meditate, go to bed early, take a hot bubble bath, write in a journal, punch a pillow, draw, have a snack that is not very tasty. Basically I'm suggesting things that help with hunger (snack water), lets you chew (gum), helps distract you and/or gets out whatever emotion is getting to you.

Good luck!

missomgitsica

I was the same way for a long time and am still kind of pulling myself out of it. It's hard, and I think it's one of those things that you just have to do. You just have to resist the urge. And as you do it more and more it gets easier. I really wish I had better advice than that.

The best thing to do is re-direct the energy, if that makes sense. Do something else when that urge to binge strike, whether it's reading, writing, painting, going for a jog or a bike ride, journaling, sewing, scrapbooking . . . whatever floats your boat, really. Just something to distract yourself and put you in a better mindset.

Good luck!

2013sk

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat. It's a disgusting cycle that never stops.
I try to have normal days. I eat healthy foods, allow room for reasonable treats, eat enough. And yet still, without fail, my urge to binge gets so strong that I can't help it. And I eat to bursting. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop binge eating. I'm sorry. I needed to say it somewhere.

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat.

RESTRICT............... THATS WHERE YOUR GOING WRONG!!!

Hey, I binge, I do it all the time. Our have one biscuits, then chill out, then go back to the kitchen, get a chocolate bar, then another, then another biscuit, more chocolate, and it goes on etc.....

I normally do this late at night, as for some strange reason, I eat the majority of my calories early hours of the morning ( I get home from the gym at 10pm) But the next day, instead of me sitting at work starving myself all day feeling bad, as last night I ate, 1,000 - 1,500 calories which is normal, I just carry on with my day

Breakfast - My normal porridge, Lunch, Dinner etc.

You are going wrong restricting yourself - You need to break that cycle.

The next binge you have..... The next day, get out of bed and make breakfast, go out, and carry on as normal, and I bet after time, you break that cycle..........! You need to train your brain not to starve yourself after a binge, as it leads to more binges!!!!

You can break it trust me!!!!!!!!!!!! Try what I said : )

Good luck
xx

Jgal8123

Eat more protein and nutrient-rich foods...it will help control your cravings. You can do this!

Eve_e

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat. It's a disgusting cycle that never stops.
I try to have normal days. I eat healthy foods, allow room for reasonable treats, eat enough. And yet still, without fail, my urge to binge gets so strong that I can't help it. And I eat to bursting. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop binge eating. I'm sorry. I needed to say it somewhere.

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat.

RESTRICT............... THATS WHERE YOUR GOING WRONG!!!

Hey, I binge, I do it all the time. Our have one biscuits, then chill out, then go back to the kitchen, get a chocolate bar, then another, then another biscuit, more chocolate, and it goes on etc.....

I normally do this late at night, as for some strange reason, I eat the majority of my calories early hours of the morning ( I get home from the gym at 10pm) But the next day, instead of me sitting at work starving myself all day feeling bad, as last night I ate, 1,000 - 1,500 calories which is normal, I just carry on with my day

Breakfast - My normal porridge, Lunch, Dinner etc.

You are going wrong restricting yourself - You need to break that cycle.

The next binge you have..... The next day, get out of bed and make breakfast, go out, and carry on as normal, and I bet after time, you break that cycle..........! You need to train your brain not to starve yourself after a binge, as it leads to more binges!!!!

You can break it trust me!!!!!!!!!!!! Try what I said : )

Good luck
xx

Your response was eye-opening to me. My way of thinking went like this: It's only okay for me to screw up, if I manage to keep my weekly net calories in line. That's why I'd restrict after bingeing - because I needed to stay under my weekly calories. But you're right. There's no point in trying to do this if I haven't even broken my original bad habits.

It's likely I'm going to have several more weeks where I'm not under my weekly calories. But I'm going to work on not compensating for one bad day by restricting and ruining the rest of my week.

Thank you all so much for the support.

tshuk00

One thing you can try is checking what your BMR is and what you can consume weekly without weight loss. Remember that number, so even if you go over your weekly goal but fall under that, you know at the very least you will remain level and will not be gaining.

That said, I'm sure you've heard it before, but seek professional help. They can help you learn to break the cycle and disordered thought patterns.

trogalicious

don't like the cycle? make it stop.

b2kelly

What I do to avoid binge eating is just track everything you eat.. even if you have a binge day don't give up just track is all in MFP and you will be blown away by how bad it is for you. The main part to understand is changing your behaviors are the key. Tracking everything you eat makes you cognitive of the positive days and also discourages you from going to far down the rabbit hole when you fall off a bit.. Good luck and stick with it.

AlongCame_Molly

don't like the cycle? make it stop.

Well, that was brilliant. Why didn't she think of that before?? *bops forehead*

It's pretty clear you don't have any understanding at all of disordered eating. Trog, I have mucho respect for your contributions here on the forums, but let's try a little compassion, especially on subjects on which one happens to be woefully ignorant, eh?

Eve_e

don't like the cycle? make it stop.

Well, that was brilliant. Why didn't she think of that before?? *bops forehead*

It's pretty clear you don't have any understanding at all of disordered eating. Trog, I have mucho respect for your contributions here on the forums, but let's try a little compassion, especially on subjects on which one happens to be woefully ignorant, eh?

Thank you.

I'm trying to make it stop, I am, but sometimes it feels beyond my control. I know that literally, physically, it IS in my control. But mentally, sometimes it's just not.

trogalicious

don't like the cycle? make it stop.

Well, that was brilliant. Why didn't she think of that before?? *bops forehead*

It's pretty clear you don't have any understanding at all of disordered eating. Trog, I have mucho respect for your contributions here on the forums, but let's try a little compassion, especially on subjects on which one happens to be woefully ignorant, eh?

Thank you.

I'm trying to make it stop, I am, but sometimes it feels beyond my control. I know that literally, physically, it IS in my control. But mentally, sometimes it's just not.

... I know.
I tossed out a ridiculously oversimplified answer. Thing is, I stand by it. You're to the point that you realize that it's something that is outside of your own control. That being said, it's something that is out of ANY of OUR controls. We can wish you the absolute best, which I'm certain we do.. but this is going to be something that is bigger than me, you, or anyone else in the MFP forums.

Eve_e, I certainly had no intention of downplaying your situation. Don't think of my response in that manner... as it wasn't intended that way. My point is that you're cognizant of what is happening, as some of us are as well... but we aren't exactly in a position to help you with what you may need.

If you ever want to reach out, by all means.. do. I'll listen. I'll offer brutally honest replies and help any way that I possibly can. I just think that your situation is bigger than I am. Much more than I could ever really offer any help on.

So. While my response was short, blunt, and to the point. I think it's still apt. You know, deep down, that it's gonna be more than any words on a screen can help... but that isn't saying we aren't gonna be here to listen or offer advice if you need it.

My best.

AlongCame_Molly

don't like the cycle? make it stop.

Well, that was brilliant. Why didn't she think of that before?? *bops forehead*

It's pretty clear you don't have any understanding at all of disordered eating. Trog, I have mucho respect for your contributions here on the forums, but let's try a little compassion, especially on subjects on which one happens to be woefully ignorant, eh?

Thank you.

I'm trying to make it stop, I am, but sometimes it feels beyond my control. I know that literally, physically, it IS in my control. But mentally, sometimes it's just not.

I understand, I've been there. The previous post about not restricting was the best advice you could have gotten, though. If you slip up, relax. Don't "punish" yourself for it, just chalk it up to a great learning experience and keep plugging away.

If you do feel like you are not in control anymore, like you absolutely CANNOT stop, please know that there is no shame at ALL in seeking help. I hope it never gets that bad for you, but be strong enough to know when to ask for help if you ever need it!

lemon629

I agree with those who say don't beat yourself up over it. The self hatred helps feed the cycle. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and move on. Just carry on the next day as normal.

Also, try to see if there's a pattern. Is there anything that triggers your binges? There is probably an emotional cause. Next time you have an urge to binge, try to think about it for just a minute. Why do you really want to eat? And is there something else you can do that would be more effective?

You might want to try counseling. I used to have horrible problems with binge eating, and still do once in a while, but counseling dramatically decreased it.

ayumi_

Dieting is the problem. Every time you restrict, you feel deprived, and the urge to binge builds up another notch subconsciously until it becomes too much and you release all restraints and eat without any care for the consequences. It's psychology.

I'll take a wild guess and assume these binge episodes are followed with self-deprecating thoughts and promises to "never binge again"? This may sound harsh but each time you judge yourself after a binge, and each time you vow to restrict again but "do better this time", you're setting yourself up for a future failure that's even worse.

Judging by your avatar you're slim and at a healthy weight for your height. You don't need to lose weight, instead you need to work on your relationship with food and making it a healthy one. Stop restricting. Let yourself eat what you want and listen to your body. Eat what you want, when you're hungry, & give yourself full permission to do so. If you get too full, stop eating. If you notice a food doesn't sit right with you, stop eating it and eat something else. It's impossible for anyone to be fat if they do those things. It's a process and it takes time and effort to get rid of the diet mentality, and all the thoughts and behaviors that eventually force you to binge again and again. but if you don't you'll quite simply be stuck in this cycle forever.

Just know that it's NOT you. It's the dieting, and it happens to everyone who has ever been on a diet. It is possible to be free.

mwa2801

I can relate. I will exercise, eat healthy for 3 days and then binge and eat something I will later regret. However, it isn't the end of the world. We are human and are not perfect. Just get back on the wagon and continue. Time and pressure will move mountains. Don't let a few bad decisions stop you from getting to where you want to be.

_errata_

Binge, hate self, restrict, binge. Repeat. It's a disgusting cycle that never stops.
I try to have normal days. I eat healthy foods, allow room for reasonable treats, eat enough. And yet still, without fail, my urge to binge gets so strong that I can't help it. And I eat to bursting. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop binge eating. I'm sorry. I needed to say it somewhere.

I bolded what I feel like is the root cause of your struggle. Like trog mentioned, any advice I give will be superficial at best as I don't know you or your situation...That said, I will offer my opinion.

You are venting on here because you are creating an immense amount of emotional stress for yourself by feelings of guilt over eating too much. It's ok to eat like a champ and enjoy life. Own it. Don't be ashamed of it. Don't hate yourself because you weren't "good". The thing I notice with dieters is that we all have this weird predisposition toward perfectionism, that is, we have this idea of the perfect "body" and the perfect "diet." When our reality doesn't match our self-imposed definition of "perfection" we give up. Perfectionists are an "all or nothing" lot.

In your case, it seems like you have the perfect idea of a day of dieting. When you don't match up to that ideal, you start to hate yourself, and you give up by eating whatever you want for the rest of the day.

So how do you fix this cycle of self-hatred and binging?

You have to change your mindset from perfection to that of trying to achieve progress. Instead of having an unattainable dieting goal, you need to adjust your goal to something that you can achieve. Any diet you go on has to be sustainable. You have to be able to do it forever, or it won't last, and you'll "fall off the wagon." If I were you, I'd hit the reset button and try changing your goals so that your deficit is something you CAN do.

Another important thing to consider is how you view food. If you want to maintain a sustainable diet, you have to be able to eat food that you LOVE. You have to want to eat these foods. Any diet that involves consuming food that the dieter doesn't like will necessarily result in failure. It won't last.

So, to summarize, here are the bullet points:

1) Adjust your daily goal to a smaller deficit. Once you make progress on achieving that goal, consider increasing the deficit.
2) Eat foods that you love and don't feel bad about it.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Make small attainable goals and build on your successes. Eventually you will make huge gains over time.

JesterMFP

Definitely agree with stop restricting. I've been reading a lot about binge eating, and it seems that two major causes of binging and binge eating disorder are anorexia, and dieting. Just the act of restricting food intake can cause this behaviour in some people. A lot of people in fact. It's maybe unrealistc to say stop restricting at all, if you're trying to lose weight. After all, you need to eat less than you burn to lose weight, and calorie counting is a really useful tool to do that.

However - looking at your profile pic and ticker, do you actually need to lose weight? Or is it more that you want to be a bit more "toned" etc? If so, I'd strongly recommend stop dieting and focus on body re-composition through weight training. You eat plenty of food, do some heavy lifting and get a firmer body (only if that's what you want!), but the number on the scale becomes meaningless. I would actually suggest not counting calorie at all, even though that might seem counterproductive and you may get the results you want a lot slower, but for people who are susceptible, dieting at a young age, when you're already a healthy weight is the first step in a lifetime of yoyo dieting and disordered eating. So, that's something to think about.

Even if you do want to continue calorie counting - definitely stop the over-restriction after the binge. You need to break the cycle, you said it yourself. If you take away that part of the cycle, then you take the first step to breaking the whole thing. Over-restriction is a very real cause of binging. You probably think it's you being weak or not disciplined enough, but drastically cutting calories has a real, physical effect on your body making it want to binge. It also reinforces in your mind that it's ok to binge because you'll "make up for it" later. It will seem scary not to restrict after binging, but it's so important.

The other part of the cycle you can work on breaking right now is the hating yourself part. Stop hating yourself. Binging does not make you a bad person. Millions of people have this problem, or similar problems. Wanting to eat more food than your body needs is normal, especially as we are now surrounded by an abundance of high calorie foods. Using food to cope with unpleasant emotions is very common. You're not alone. And, like I said, binging as a result of over-restriction is also a very normal response. Stop hating yourself for it. Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. When you start loving yourself, you want to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself includes not over-restricting, and not binging. It doesn't mean the binging will stop just like that, but hopefully they will be less extreme, and less often.

You're not disgusting, you don't deserve the level of hatred you're directing towards yourself. It's also a huge waste of energy and really doesn't achieve anything. It might feel like hating yourself is the appropriate response, but has it actually worked to stop the binging? Imagine change that one thing. Binge - forgive self - over restrict - binge. Do you think that would make you binge any more? Or, do you think you would still over-restrict as much? Deep down are you afraid that if you don't punish yourself with the restriction, the binging will get more out of control? I think you need to take a step back and realise that it doesn't work like that. Sometimes you need to give up a little bit of control to get to a happier, healthier place where you are actually more in control.

So, stop over-restricting, stop dieting, stop hating yourself, stop punishing yourself... the actual binging is probably the hardest part to stop, but it will be much easier once you stop those other things. Eat food you love. Forgive yourself if you eat a bit too much. Do exercise you love. Look into strength training if you don't already. Make a promise to yourself not to become one of those women who start off their adult lives wanting to lose a couple of pounds and then spend their whole lives a slave to dieting.

JesterMFP

Ok, having just seen your other thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1198566-how-do-you-know-when-it-s-time-to-start-maintaining I just want to reiterate my advice to stop trying to lose any more weight, and do some strength training!

I don't know if you've seen this: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
and this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/977538-halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky

And don't panic if Staci is more defined than you want to be - these things don't happen overnight. It just gives you an idea of what can be done. Stop focusing at the scale.

GertrudeHorse

To break the binge cycle you have to STOP RESTRICTING. After the binge you need to go back to eating normally and do not try to "compensate" for the binge. Learn what triggered the binge and try and manage those triggers in future. Avoiding restriction is the best way to break the cycle. Good luck