Post-college and working three jobs. x_x Warning: long-ish.

poultryofperil

Hey. I've been on MFP for...I'm note entirely sure how long, but I LOVE this site. I love how many options I have and it has seriously helped me get used to looking at exactly what I'm putting into my body.

Backstory: Due to where I lived and situations at home, I've been a pretty big kid since I was about eight. I went on South Beach with my mom when I was fifteen and lost twenty pounds, but that obviously wasn't gonna stick. I was a full-time assistant manager at a store that caused me unimaginable stress, and after working there from the time I was sixteen until I was 23, doing to college at the same time, I eventually ballooned up to 230 pounds. I'm only 5'5.5, so I was a chunk-a-lunk, to be sure. I met my boyfriend, and while he has always been adamant to not lose weight for him but for MYSELF, and only if it was what I really wanted, the happiness this relationship has brought me gave me some motivation for losing weight. I'd resigned myself to just living with being big forever, but after about ten pounds came off out of nowhere, I thought, "Maybe I can do this."

That was almost two years ago (two years in June, to be exact). Since then I have lost 72 pounds. I went from 230 lbs and a size 20-22 to being a size 12 in the hips, 10 in the waist. I want to get down to 140 and gain some muscle, since I've never been able to afford a gym membership and certain body-weight exercises exacerbate some of the health issues I have.

Anyway, right now, I'm kind of in a weird spot. I have my good days where I'm proud of how much I've accomplished, and then I have totally awful days where I feel like since I'm not where I think I should be, weight/appearance-wise, I haven't accomplished anything.

Does anyone else have that problem? Where they look in the mirror and it's like there's no change, or you can only focus on the things you still need to "fix"? I've got kind of a cross between an hourglass shape and a pear shape. I'm small-chested, but I have big ribs and a very small waist. Then I've got great hips and *kitten*, but big ole sausage legs.

Basically, I just thought I'd say hi. And if anyone else is having a supremely crappy self-esteem day, you can always feel free to talk to me. Because not only do I totally know that feeling, but I always like having someone that doesn't know me and doesn't feel the need to placate me tell me to be the one to give me a little motivational boost.

You're all flippin' awesome. And I think we should all be proud of ourselves, because no matter where we are on our own personal progress tracks, one of the hardest parts is KNOWING that's going to be a long, hard journey and we get up and start doing it anyway.