Do you ever wonder, why bother?

JoanneC1216

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

kk_140

I think it will be worth it for me. I want to be thinner, this is what I have to do to make that happen! I remember that when I feel down

Levesque_7

Dont think of it as a "diet" but more of a lifestyle change. IMO it sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with food and body dysmorphia, especially if you thought you were fat at 120 pounds. I dont think losing weight is torture either, i rather enjoy eating well and exercising everyday. It makes me feel strong and healthy (the key word is = HEALTHY)

TMagical

I feel you FF121! I look at my HS pics (5'2" 120lbs) and remember thinking that I was overwieght. Then GAINING 25lbs and actually being overweight. Then getting pregnant and becoming outright fat (I used the "eating for 2 excuse", my bad). The sound byte that recurs in my head is from Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Bates loses it & admits that sometimes she thinks about just letting herself go, just getting really fat.
But you know, I want to fit into my clothes again! I want to wear shorts to the beach damnit! I know that being 120 again won't assure my happiness, I'm not losing weight to be happy. I'm losing weight to wear the clothes I want to wear and to be a good role model to my daughter. Not that I think overwieght people aren't good role models, but I WANT to be her role model in being helathy, having a good relationship with food, and being active in life. Honestly, if I meet those goals and the scale NEVER says 120 again then fine. I will be happy! But I want to be healthy and I know that my current weight, at my height, is not healthy. So chin up butter cup, it will get better.

Levesque_7, I'm hoping that OP just is refering to "normal teen girl behavior" ... at least that's how I was and how most girls I knew were at the 15-17 age.
"OMG I'm SO fat! I just ate 7 M&Ms!"

jlynnm70

Yeah - I too look back at photos and wonder - I wish I was as fat now as I thought I was back then! Definitely think of it as a lifestyle change - That's what I have told my kids and when I say the Dreaded D word - they correct me - especially my 8 year old. He is the best. Is it worth it - sure thing - Is it hard - yep - but so is being heavy and out of shape! I'll take better health hard, than laying on the couch hard. Took me a while to come to that conclusion and this time I am sticking with it - I have support from a good friend and I like MFP - so that is working for me so far!

Do you best and decide which HARD you want.

thesupremeforce

It's been all positive for me, no "torture" whatsoever.

So, no, I've never thought that.

seltzermint555

I've seen this topic a lot today in various forms.

Honestly for me, it's worth it to the extent of staying at a relatively healthy weight to keep problems (health etc) at bay, to fit into the world better, to feel better about myself, etc.

But I lack motivation that would take me down the road of rock hard abs, living in the gym, and pondering cosmetic surgery for my least favorite bits.

For me looking halfway nice in some skinny jeans with boots and a one piece swimsuit is like "sweet!!" and simply put...enough. I could happily live at about 170 lb forever and be cool with it.

We all have different levels of motivation.

serindipte

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry....

I am not torturing myself this time. I am not doing ups and downs or guilt or hungry.

I am relearning what a 'normal' day of eating looks like, eating at a reasonable deficit with more healthy choices along with my personal favorites including pizza and ice cream. I am realizing that, if I eat well most of the time, I can still indulge in my steak and shrimp with baked potato and butter without getting fat (Losing weight, in fact).

I'm finding a comfortable place where I can eat the foods I enjoy without guilt or being fat.

wilsoje74

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

Why do you view taking care of yourself torture???

mccindy72

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

<

---

It's worth it. You'll feel better, enjoy what you eat and feel good about it, and know you are taking care of yourself. You'll live longer. You won't be hungry.

seltzermint555

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

Why do you view taking care of yourself torture???

I just wanna say I agree with this too.

It doesn't have to be torture. Maybe if you feel that way you have set too difficult of a goal for the beginning.

For some people (myself included) it's much easier to set smaller goals so that you have the constant success of reaching those goals. Then you may be ready for bigger goals!

feltlikesound

Every few weeks I have a breakdown wondering why I try so hard to achieve so little (to me, anyway, I feel I have made no real headway despite completely overhauling my lifestyle). I get reminded I am not as young as I used to be, might never have the body I really want, and sometimes I just want to eat everything I crave without caring, skip the gym, and do all the luxurious lazy things I want!

But I keep going. I have no idea, at the end of the day, why I ultimately bother. So I have no real advice. Ultimately it probably comes down to the "choose your hard" someone stated above. This lifestyle makes me bummed sometimes, but loathing my body made me bummed a lot more of the time. So it goes.

Maryaly40

I do it because I'm worth it, and because I'm physically capable.

Nyusha21

What are your goals, OP? You sound like you have none. If you have a goal to strive for, you don't have to wonder.

Also, what torture? I'm not dieting, I'm eating healthy (more or less). When I feel hungry, I eat something. So what if I'm over my cal limit? It hardly matters on the big scale. Everyone falls, but you gotta get up and carry on. That's it.

You sound depressed, tbh. Talk to your friends and family, figure out where your issue really lie.

Amattaway1

If the number on the scale doesn't motivate you, find something else that does. For me, having a goal is what keeps me going. Now that I am closer to my goal weight, I am finding lots of new goals to reach. It might be running xx miles without stopping, or going up in squat weight, how long you can plank, or even healthy eating challenges (see how "clean" you can eat for a day/week, try to get 100% of your nutrients, etc.). For me, it's about that accomplishment.

LVCeltGirl

I'm not at goal yet, but it's been worth it for me. This is a journey, it's not my past diets. I have my ups and downs, but it's worth it.

I'm still 70+ lbs overweight which keeps me in the Obese category. Since losing almost 40 lbs, I've found that I can go shopping in my closet for clothes that were too small but too cute to get rid of. I'm more able to run around with my almost 9 year old son. Chase him around a playground, go swimming with him weather permitting, teach him to ride a bike.

I'm a Renaissance Faire Participant and I'm more able to spend the entire day in my costume. The day involves a lot of walking, talking, sometimes running to be at a show. All while wearing a corset or a bodice that should be tight enough to "hold the "girls" in place" so usually the saying is "if you can breathe, it's not tight enough".

This is not another diet for me because those end with more weight gain. I'm having to learn what to eat, what to chose, how to say no and how to say yes.

zyxst

I realized fairly soon into my weight loss that becoming a smaller me wasn't going to change the me inside. I'm still the same person just in a not-as-fat body. Being 120# will not change who I am, only how others treat me.

Yeah, I do think about why I'm still tracking food and eating at a (supposed) deficit. I reached most of the weight loss goals I set for myself - 100# lost, buying clothes from "normal" shops, fitting into chairs/booths. I would be fine at the weight I am now. I still get to hear from family and medical professionals about how unhealthy and fat I am and how losing more weight will fix my HBP and high cholesterol (despite having the latter 2 since I had my first blood pressure measurement).

The only reason I have to continue is it's a daily habit, like checking my email.

cwolfman13

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

If it's torture then you're doing it wrong. If you're doing it just to be "skinny" or whatever...well, that doesn't really work for many people. When you realize that it's really your health and ultimately your life that is on the line...well...you start to see things a little differently.

It doesn't have to be torture...I love every second of rocking the **** out of my fitness and nutrition and knowing that I kick much *kitten* and will for many years to come....

kerrywhittaker1991

Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.


I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.

I've been thinking this lots today too.. I can't lose any more weight and I've worked really hard in the gym but still don't have the abdominal area I want except now I don't have the body and I can't have any chocolate at least before I could have treats haha

EmmieBaby

for me its not so much about my weight..its more I just want to be a healthier version of me. weightloss is just a bonus

birdiecs

Torture, guilt? Seems like you may be approaching this from a wrong angle.

As to why it's worth it, well feeling fantastic sort of makes me happy.

vuco1990

Let me tell you something.... I never had a problem with being extra overweight because I am tall ( max was like 25 lbs on my 6 feet and 4 inches over normal range). Being thiner just gives me more confidence, have more energy, better sleep... And the biggest benefit of exercise that it has on my mind. College or job can make you that you "forget" on physical activity and if this happens over longer period of time it can make you depressed ( I know it did me). You feel like a old man even if you are in your early 20`s and that is the worst feeling ever. Physical activity just makes me feel like I am 17 again and it is making me happy. For some people benefit can be number on scale, but for me is my state of mind.

deksgrl

I used to think that, when I was like early 40's. I had the attitude that yeah, you get older, you get fatter, you get frumpier, this is just the way it is so accept it and be happy. I didn't like dieting or exercising. Figured that was never going to change. But it did. Now I do it for health. I want to be strong so I can continue to ride my Harley. I want to preserve bone density so I don't get osteoporosis. I may never get rid of all of this middle age tummy, but it is better than it was, and just think how big it would be if I hadn't been working on it?

Duck_Puddle

Being thinner is not going to bring insta-happiness. So no, that's not probably going to happen.

But if you're torturing yourself, being hungry and miserable, that sounds pretty unhappy too.

Here's my take. I don't eat anything I don't like (except this one hummus sandwich experiment-yuk). I don't ever feel guilty for eating (not even days when I eat 5-10k cal or more). I only do exercise I enjoy. None of that is torture or misery.

What I've given up? Inability to walk through a store without leaning on a cart for support. Inability to walk up the stairs. Being too weak to carry the groceries in the house. Having never gone on a bike ride with my son (who is 23). Clothes with an X in the size. Never having run a road race. Having to check the weight limits for chairs/ladders/etc.

Is it worth it to eat 1 less cookie? Or to have a salad instead a double whopper for lunch? Or to go for a run? Or a bike ride?

Absolutely. My life has completely transformed. I live a different life entirely. I have gone on a bike ride with my son. I have run road races. I wear clothes in a size 6. I fit in airplane seats.

And that's an absolutely fair trade for eating healthier most (but not all) of the time and getting some exercise.

So yes-it's worth it.

Murph1908

I've felt that way before. It was when I was on the verge of giving up entirely, and just accepting that this is the way I was. It sucked, and I hated it. I hated wearing the same 2 pairs of pants every day because the rest didn't fit.

So for me, yes, it's going to be worth it, if only to feel better about how I look in a polo on the golf course, or at the pool, or not having to wait for the "fatty" seat on the roller coaster (or worse, not being able to ride).

Secondly, I want to give my son a better role model. He's 5 now, and I don't want to die of a coronary before he has his own kids. He'll never get to meet my father, who died when I was 20 (smoker, not weight). I want his kids to know their grandpa, and not just hear about how cool I was.

But finally, though the journey is hard (if it wasn't, we'd all be thin), the success stories on this site should be proof enough on how great people feel when they make it to their goal, or even make progress. I guess it'll be up to you to appreciate your body when you make it. I'm in my 40's, so I don't have any delusion of getting back to high-school weight. But if I can get to a healthy body fat number and lose my man-tits, I'll be happy with mine.

Don't feel guilty about a bad day. Kick yourself in the butt and get back on track. Keep reading the success stories on the blog for motivation. I can't wait until I can post mine.

Adc7225

This is perfect timing for me to actually reflect on the very subject - so here I go!

For me it is worth it because I started this with the intention of being healthier, getting off of High Blood Pressure medication for several reasons. 1) It starts with one pill, then they add another pill to counter-act the side effects of the first pill and then one day you have a large pill caddy full of a variety pills - all for your health, 2) my copay went up this year (as it does most) and 3) the cost for prescriptions is crazy high.

Some of the side effects of that decision are:
I feel better
I look better to society (I go back and forth on the for myself)
My attitude is much better
I can enter a room and not feel like the largest person in the room
And, many other daily positive occurrences that are a result of my weight loss.

Yet, I still wonder at times was it worth it, usually when I see how people react to me in such a positive way as opposed to before, it's like society has a grey area where you matter more, outside on either side and your worth goes way down

The thought that we will be happy when we reach our goal is a mirage, to appear for a fleeting moment only to disapear when reality sets in. Do we really know of anyone that is totally happy with their body!

Life on Life's Terms!

ChaplainHeavin

Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.

First, yes it's worth it and you will feel sooooooo much better. If you read some of my profile and what inspires me to stay fit and eat responsibly, you'll see part of my inspiration comes from witnessing so many of my family members being miserable because they didn't take care of themselves. So I would address your question, not, "Will I feel much better is I do" with "How much worse will I feel if I don't."

Second, the guilt of overeating. It's nothing you want to boast about but nothing to get down on yourself as long as you re-commit and re-commit. I blow it on stuff everyday. One of the short prayers I pray daily is, "God, please don't give up on me." And then I go on.

Addressing the torture: It doesn't have to be. Some people's whole life is consumed in fitness. It's an important but it's not everything. Find something you enjoy doing. My neighbor lost 49 some pounds by committing to walking every day and having a healthy normal diet, not diet in the way we think, but diet that this is the way I will for the rest of my life. My wife and adult daughters are very active. My wife plays soccer at 53 years of age. My daughters run and do cross fit. To me, that's torture. But what I do would be torture for them because they don't like Nordic Track Skiers and push ups like I do. We were created to move. That's why we have arms and legs. Just discover what you love to do.

bcattoes

I see my aging relatives and friends, with their little plastic pill boxes full of pills to take throughout the day. With their walkers, glucose meters, canes, several Dr. visits a month, oxygen, wheelchairs, shots... I visit them in the hospital after they've had another artery opened. I listen to them complain about how hard it is to walk up one flight of stairs, or lift a 5 lb bag of sugar.

I know why I bother. I don't torture myself, but I bother for a reason.

Calliope610

You think of this as a diet. I think of this as a healthy lifestyle change. Maybe that is the difference. To me, yes, a healthy lifestyle IS worth the bother.

unapologetically_crystal

well you have to love yourself where you are now.. or nothing will change. like u said back then u thought u were fat. i know thats not easy. as for my personal journey..

its totally worth it!

but then again i was morbidly obese. i dont "diet". i eat whatever i want within calories. i dont watch my macros and all that. im trying (& getting there) with trying to not feel guilty over food. only good things have come from everything here.

and why torture yourself? thats negative. thats gonna bring u down. build yourself up. if its exercise that seems like torture then find something you love that will burn some calories. if its food.. try new things or healthyier options for something thats "bad" that you miss so much.

elainecroft

I feel better about myself at this weight/size/fitness than I did when I was bigger and less fit. Yes I would still have a fulfilling life without focusing on these goals, but I think they make me a better person and happier with myself. That is why I bother.