Food Bully's

fromaquasar

Why is it that people try and make you eat like them. I have recently given up eating sugar and find where ever I go if I turn down a cake or a wine I get the same scenario full of pressure and taunts!

Person: "here have a cup cake"
Me: "no thanks I'm fine"
Person "Why not? you're not on some stupid diet are you?"
Me: "Actually I am trying to eat healthier and cut down on sugar I'm feeling really good because of it"
Person *rolls eyes* "Come on one won;t hurt they are so delicious - don't be a retard"

I still say no and then they tease me about it the rest of the time, 'O Jess do you want a wine, o THAT's right you can't' or 'Don't offer her that Jess is on a crazy no sugar thing' etc.

I feel like I am being peer pressured into being unhealthy! Is it because they want other people to be eating badly to make them feel better about their habits? Or what? It really frustrates me as I feel apprehensive about going out now in situations where other people will be eating and drinking things I don't want to! Does any one else experience this? How do you deal with it?

And forgive my terrible punctuation in the title!
x

ambercole

that's because misery loves company!!!!

Nich0le

that's because misery loves company!!!!

Absolutely! Especially if you were the heaviest person they know and now you are getting healthy that makes them have to take a look at their habits. You just keep doing what your doing and let that crap roll off knowing that you will be a healthier, stonger and happier person because of the control you have taken over your own life.

lotusfromthemud

The other day, I went to a meeting with six other women. I ordered a macaroon and a cofee, and then just ate a few bits of the macaroon.


Five of the six women hassled me about it. "Take it home" "Finish it!" "Why didn't you eat it?"

I said: "I'm sorry, but it's very important for me to be in charge of my own food choices." I felt incredibly articulate.

That shut them up, too. There was absolutely no negotiation involved.

I've tried "no thank you" in the past, and frankly it doesn't work, because pushers push. This was a way to tell them (without being mean) to back up off me.

TateFTW

Exactly. The big one is "One won't hurt!" I hate that crap. Just keep pushing. Use it as motivation. When you show up thin and awesome they won't stop talking about how jealous they are.

bjberry

I think you nailed it when you said they do not want to change and you have left them behind--you have lost 10 pounds!!! Fabulous!
They do not want the commitment at this time, so they want to wear yours down.

Do not give in to them. Lower suger means a better body, less work for the pancreas and Iles of Langerhann (if they wear out and people can get diabetes). Stick to your "No!" We are rooting for you!! :drinker: (water)

lizzys

i think some people are afraid that you will be better than tham that might not be the right word but its more theri feeling about tham selves than trying to hurt you. we are a self centered lot and sometimes we only see are selves and not .otheris around us when were happy we don't care if some else is doing something good for than selves don't let than get to you . just keep on plugging away and in the end you might help tham good luck

chrisdavey

I get it all the time because of my higher protein food choices. "what you don't want this 450cal muffin loaded with sugar and bad fats but you will have a big tuna salad?"

Bermudabarbie

I think you understand exactly what is going on. It's difficult. One way of handling things is to tell a little white lie. For example you can say, I really pigged out earlier today (or yesterday), and I'm trying to get back to normal today. You don't owe anyone an explanation of why you want to eat healthfully, but it makes others feel less guilty about overindulging in your presence.

tawny7

"The big one is "One won't hurt!" I hate that crap."

I hate when people say this to me...first off...would you say that to an alcoholic??? And second...it just might hurt me!!!

Paige1108

I know what you mean, I gave up refined sugar several years ago, you would think birthday cake is a holy relic, "What!!!! Your not going to have Birthday cake!!"

But I knew I wasn't going to eat it anymore, so I never fibbed or did the white lie thing. I just said "No thank you, I don't eat sugar". Short, simple and honest. Now, everyone knows I don't eat it, and I really don't get any flack anymore. You just have to ride out the opening shock, it will go away.

singfree

Let me guess...the "pusher" is overweight, right? It is amazing that the very people who should be watching what they eat are the worst offenders! A lady at work is on WW (sometimes), but she keeps bringing in cakes and other assorted junk to work. What gives?

fromaquasar

Thanks for the support guys its good to know others get this too and that my thinking is right - its their thing, NOT mine! I'm going to a dinner party tonight so I think I will think of a good, firm, non-negotiable line and just use that. It's totally true though I shouldnt have to justify what I eat I just find it so frustrating when I have to though I have only cut sugar for 3 weeks now so I'm sure over time people will stop putting the pressure on if I just ignore it! - feels like losing weight is teaching me about being strong in lots of ways huh!
x

SugarDiva

OMG! I totally understand! I get it all the time. Especially while at work. Picture like 40 burly oil rig men tormenting you when you sit down with a plate of salad and they're stuffing MASSIVE amounts of meat in their faces and THEN desserts (which btw are double the size of what you'd get anywhere else). I'm also vegetarian so on top of all the "That's all you're eating?" and of course the dreaded "One peice of pie won't kill you" (To which I want to reply.."Dude.. it's slowly killing you!") I also get the "where's your protien" and "that's not healthy"
Can I get a WTF!?! Why can't people just be supportive?

fromaquasar

I seem to get it from both ends of the spectrum - there is one girl in my group who is super skinny but very unhealthy (i.e. she doesnt eat anything but a lot of chocolate) and she puts tonnes of pressure on and then yea at the other end my more over weight friends do too! I guess moderation isnt really "done" by my friends and I seem to be the only one worried about being healthy not just being skinny - it's very weird

TateFTW

My Wifes dad is overweight, but for some reason he thinks he knows about dieting. He's all about Atkins, and he knows all about it. The only problem is he keeps losing then gaining it all back. He KNOWS I lost 100 lbs and have kept it off, but still keeps telling me things like "ah, you don't have to worry about fats." He keeps looking for the magic button to push. The truth is there is nothing about my diet I don't want to worry about and think about. It's all about balance, not one magic rule.

chanstriste13

They do not want the commitment at this time, so they want to wear yours down.

well said!