How to address un-supportive families?

miacatherine

So, I'm losing weight for me, I need to. But it just kills me that my family isn't the least bit supportive. I thought my mom of all people would support me, but she just leaves snide little comments on my facebook about my calorie intake etc (I have myfitnesspal linked to facebook). I hate it, I'd venture to say I hate her, but that's taking it too far.

I guess there are other factors to her being on the last of my nerves, but still. She's seeing a personal trainer 3 times per week and has lost a ton of weight the past 4 months, why can't she support me? Or at the very least, not say anything.

sallyLunn

Maybe if you ask her advice on reduced calorie recipes or fitness. You don't have to take it, but it will make her feel good. She might think she is being encouraging when she writes those things on your FB. The thing with Mom's and daughters is that it can be touchy.

True story. My friends and I always joke that when my Mom gives you a hello hug, she always checks your love handles while she's there. It used to annoy me, but now, since others are in on it, we think it's pretty funny. We call it the "Mable Test". **

**Names have been changed to protect the innocent or at least, me.

angelascott919

Some people just cant stand to think that someone will take their limelight. Maybe she is just jeolous that you will start to lose weight and that others will start to pay attention to you and not to her for what she has lost. Don't let them get you down and keep going. When she makes her remarks just ignore them, let them be your fuel to keep going and proove to everyone that you are better than them and you can lose the weight and be a better you.

skinnytayy

Ever thought maybe it wasn't intentional? Some people (including myself) will try to encourage people and be supportive and TOTALLY stick their foot in their mouth. Not everyone is good with words .. Maybe she really does support you and is proud of you for your decisions. Best thing to do is talk to her. Explain to her why its so important to you to be a healthy individual and let her know that some things she says bothers you and that'd you like her to be supportive and proud of you

bonnienm

Don't listen to her, you're not doing it for her. I know it's difficult when you don't have their support but you can do it without it and show them what you're made of. Maybe you could block her comments on Face book. I'd say be straight with her and tell her how her comments make you feel. Maybe tell her that you don't like to be around negative non-supportive people and see if she gets it then. Good luck and remember you're the one that counts in this journey, keep working at it for your baby. It's worth it in the end.

ser0630

I can relate. I'm dealing with the same thing with my family. I don't have myfitnesspal linked to my facebook page for that very reason.

I gave my mom an ultimatium. I told her either she can support me as I try to lose the last 12 pounds that I want to lose or she can keep her comments to herself. I'm not losing this weight to please anybody. I'm doing it for me.

Your mom shouldn't be doing what she's doing with the snide comments. That is just wrong. I would ask her what her issue is with you trying to lose the weight that you want to lose.

jsecret

I understand too It's kind of a lose lose situation with my mom. She constantly tells me I need to lose weight and am fat (Gee, thanks!) and insists that even she is fat (5'7 and a whopping 125 lbs. HUH?!). But when I tell her I'm dieting and counting calories she's rolls her eyes and acts like that's stupid. When she hears about me working out she is the same way. But when I tell her I've finally dropped ten pounds she acts like I didn't lose nearly enough or nearly fast enough. I finally just started ignoring her on the subject all together.

TinkerLuv

I'm sorry to hear this, but I too can relate. I'm fortunate that my mom is supporting, but the rest of my family...whole diff ball-park! Of course that kind of negativity makes it so much more harder to stay motivated, but use the negative to charge you up especially when your exercising--just might be the fuel that keeps you going & in the end you'll reep the benefits. Remember this journey is about you, Stay strong & use the support you need from your MFP family.