How do I keep him fat while getting me thin?

judymoving

Due to the changes in my eating and cooking habits in the home, my boyfriend recently discovered he is loosing weight too!
I haven't lost much (17lbs) and I work a very sedentary job, he works construction and weighs 147 now! He lost 12 pounds just eating the lower calorie dinners and breakfasts I am making for us. How do I keep him fat while eating to get me thin? He can't afford to loose weight.

He normally eats twice the portions I am eating for dinner.

WBB55

Add cheese to his double portions.

I'm serious. I had this same issue with my underweight, but physically employed BF. He ate twice my portions, but mine had no cheese, while his did.

MarKayDee

Does he want to stay "fat"? Because if not then you'll just have to accept that he has te right to do whatever he chooses with his body. If he doesn't want to lose weight there are plenty of protien shakes and similar things you can add to his diet to increase his calorie intake without affecting yours.

loladdie1983

i second putting cheese on stuff
give him creamy based dressings for salads when you use a light vinaigrette
if you eat egg whites at breakfast, give him some with yolks and toast with butter
give him full fat yogurt over fat free
are there any sweet treats he likes that you don't? for example my husband loves mint choc chip ice cream but i would never touch it so i wouldn't be tempted

19TaraLynn84

Have him double up on whatever he's eating! If you're using low-calorie versions of things like dressings and mayo, buy the full-cal versions for him. Lucky guy can even just spoon some peanut butter out of the jar and enjoy!

jphd4

Working construction burns an enormous amount of calories which your desk job doesn't. In order for him to maintain his weight, he would need to have far more calories and protein than you. The best meal for him to do this is breakfast. This will give him the calories he needs during the day. He should probably eat breakfast and lunch "his way" and have dinner "your way" as a nice balance that would work for both of you. Your change in eating habits is clearly working for you. Congratulations on your loss!

BlessedMom78

We are having the same issue. Husband is just over 6' and was up to the 160's but last week when I weighed in, he did to and had dropped to the 140's. I can't really give you advice but for my husband, who works a very physically demanding job, I bought him a protein shake mix. He keeps it with him and mixes it with bottled water. I'll also slip in protein bars for his snacks. This week he looks much better, thicker and feels better too. Less headaches. I'm hoping Sunday's weigh in shows me weighing less and him a little more.

Elsie_Brownraisin

We have the same problem in my house, my husband is a long distance runner and has an active job, whilst my son is underweight due to a medical condition so we all eat differently.

Cheese is a good suggestion. When softening veg for casserole/curries etc, I only use a little oil and take my portion out, then add a bit more oil for them. They snack on different things and my husband eats twice the amount I do. I sometimes make him egg fried rice for him when I have plain rice. Salads with nuts and fattier salad dressings than you'd have on the side of meals?

Tea tonight, for son: fish, veg and new potatoes baked in the oven with pesto. Husband and I are having the same but with chicken and harrissa. He'll then have brown rice on top (he's running tomorrow). Pudding is rhubarb - my son with clotted cream, greek yogurt for me and husband. Later in the evening he'll probably eat the rest of the brown rice but he'd usually have some variation of crisps, olives, cheese and fruit in the evening.

It's a pain in the butt cooking separately, but you could make some batches of meals and freeze them, less of a pain on a weekday evening. Getting a little frying pan and a little casserole dish with room for one meal is really helpful.

4legsRbetterthan2

oils and butter are also calroie dense, so if you cook your stuff seperately then put more in his
nuts are pretty calorie dense and fatty, I have a hard time fitting them in when dieting but they could boost his calories alot (avacados and peanut butter too)

amblight

I'm in a similar situation, cooking for an underweight and an obese (me!)

I make a lot of ommelets for brunch, and I give her all the yolks, puts lots of cheese on it, and serve it with bread an butter - I get the whites (plus a little bit of yolk for flavour - I usually do one yolk for every 4th white), no cheese, served on spinach leaves.

If we make chili's or tomato sauces we usually make them my way (aka lots of lean veggies, no oil, no cheese) but then she'll have pasta or potato and cheese, and whereas I'll put the sauce/chili (I'm not sure of the english word for the things you might cook with ground meat and tomato etc. and put on top of a bit of pasta, but usually it's the stuff on top that's the main part of the meal?) on veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, squash, eggplant)

Sometimes I'll bake spinach wraps for me, and she'll have store bought tortilla wraps, and I'll give her more cheese and more meat (unless it's super-lean - then I'll give us equal), and dressing, and I'll get more veggies, no cheese, no dressing (though sometimes a bit of low fat greek youghurt)

edwardrz

Other calorie rich foods to add: nuts, dates, dried fruit, home made protein bars and drizzle olive oil on food.

scyian

Sounds similar to me and my husband. He has good genetics and naturally lean. Recently he went for hypnothery and a really random side effect is he's totally off sugar and chocolate! I'm trying to lose weight and he's trying to maintain as he's lost a few pounds recently. I can't add bread and cheese to his diet too much as it will aggrivate his IBS.

Any suggestions here are welcome

KANGOOJUMPS

give him some beers with his meals.take whip cream to bed.

chispaza

Lots of good suggestions so far. The only thing I can add is for him to get in a couple of snacks during the day. Send protein bars, nuts, etc. with him to work so he can snack on them during the day.

jlynnm70

Sounds like my house - He is 5'11" and about 145# - I'm 5'0" and about 143# (crazy) All my kids are super thin too (thank you daddy!) anyway - He also works construction and I'm a paralegal (desk all day). He tries really hard to eat extra calories at LUNCH when I'm not around. I eat a salad he can have his Quarter Pounder and I don't have to see it and that way diner isn't as off base for us. Also - he eats extra portions at dinner as well. He also seems to snack a lot at night - so I drink my water and he has ice cream. Sometimes it's annoying since I 'cant' have it, other nights it doesn't bother me a bit.

Pack him a 'heavier' lunch or something - and have some higher calorie snacks for him in the evening. Fortunately for me - we crave opposite deserts - so I can make him something sweet (as long as it isn't chocolate) and I can stay out of it.

DH also 'drinks' calories - he'll have a glass of milk or pop with dinner - I drink water.

seltzermint555

i second putting cheese on stuff
give him creamy based dressings for salads when you use a light vinaigrette
if you eat egg whites at breakfast, give him some with yolks and toast with butter
give him full fat yogurt over fat free
are there any sweet treats he likes that you don't? for example my husband loves mint choc chip ice cream but i would never touch it so i wouldn't be tempted

All of these ideas are great. Also, if he likes to drink calories that can be helpful. Not saying have him down tons of beer and Coca-Cola because of negative health effects! But homemade milkshakes, cocoa made with milk...just milk in general, juices in moderation...those can up daily calories quick as most of us have learned in our pursuit of the opposite goal.

With your husband being so active at work I think it would also be good to put bananas, avocado, etc, in a lot of dishes for him.

My husband is on MFP and watches his calories to lose weight but he's pretty close to his goal weight & very fit. However since he's several inches taller, more physically active, a few years younger, and male, his daily calorie goal is higher than mine. We eat most of the same meals but he adds dry cereal at breakfast, nuts late in the evening, and a double portion of some entrées. If I want 1/2 a banana he'll split it with me...I love that!

Linnaea27

Does he like snacking? My fiance is also perpetually thin and fit (and works construction sometimes), and he tends to snack on handfuls of nuts at random times. He also generally eats lots of bread and cheese for lunch.

Here are my suggestions:
Keep any nuts he likes to eat around the house, so he can snack anytime (and if they are a kind you don't like, so much the better for both of you!)

His lunches can include lots more bread, cheese, and mayonnaise than yours

If you have bread with dinner, you can each eat different amounts (and with different butter/spread on it)

Get both full-fat and reduced-fat versions of dairy products so he has the option of the full-fat ones (full-fat dairy products are actually healthier-- slightly less processed-- than reduced-fat. . . I try to fit them into my diet when I can).

And of course if you are making low-cal dinners, make plenty so if he would like to eat more, he can.

This is an inconvenient problem to have, I understand!

bcattoes

Cheese is a good option. You could add a little more fat to his meals - drizzle a little olive oil over vegetables, add avocado slices or nuts to his salads.

He could also have a piece of garlic bread or a roll with butter along side his dinner. If you fix rice, give his a qick stir fry after it's cooked. Maybe add some slivered almonds.

xiamjackie

Tell him to man up and eat more snacks.


No, but really. Even an extra PBJ sandwich at work could give him an extra 400 calories easily, depending on the type of bread and if you use 2 tbsp of peanut butter. Hell, make it 3 TBSP.

judymoving

WOW to everyone! Great Advice.

He is very in shape, and works hard. He does a lot of late night snaking before bed, when I am no longer hungry or eating. He will often bring bananas and PBJ to work. He is also accustomed to getting a coffee with burgers at lunch if there is such a place near the job.

Absolutely love the extra cheese, dressing, and nuts on the salad ideas. We often just do a salad for dinner. I have been serving him potatoes with the evening meal while I go without. He dumps lots of extra calories on those. The egg white with the yolk to him idea is brilliant! Thank you Thank you.

This has been very helpful. Still it is very irritating when we are so different when it comes to eating.... I actually have to ask if he ate enough today... workaholic too busy thinking about the job to worry about eating.

awtume9

I just melt a whole stick of butter over my boyfriend's dinner...

shhhhh don't tell him