NOW you like me???

Derp_Diggler

Look at this way. Physical attraction is just one aspect of attraction, as you mentioned before. Have you ever found someone physically attractive but something about their personality turned you off? What if, after a few years, you run into that person again, and they have changed that aspect of themselves. Now the physical attraction is still there, and there's no personality issue to get in the way.

This is the same only reversed. Call it shallow if you will, but it's a reality, and a big part of overall attraction.

kimosabe1

lol.... it's amazing how jealous people get when u get hot. Same thing happened to me. It gets worse if they try to give u their old clothes that are to big!!:laugh:

_JPunky

lol.... it's amazing how jealous people get when u get hot. Same thing happened to me. It gets worse if they try to give u their old clothes that are to big!!:laugh:

Ummmm...the point is somewhere over

---

>there

---

>.

Sorry, I think you missed it so I thought I'd try to help. :flowerforyou:

_JPunky

As usual, Mister_Universe and Derp are smart. I really do understand what you guys are trying to say. I think where I'm having the disconnect is this:

If they were just now saying ONLY, "Wow, you're beautiful!" I'd get it...It's the truth...I'm more physically attractive now than I was 2 years ago.

But the fact that they're acting like they're just now realizing how cool, fun, whatever, I am...THAT to me equals EITHER they don't mean it and they're simply attracted to the outside package or they weren't really paying attention to who I really am on the inside based on what I looked like...which isn't something anyone wants to think about someone they've known for a long time.

mister_universe

Derp Diggler is waaaay smarter than I am. That's why I'm his biggest fan. Huge. The biggest. Way more than average.

_JPunky

I can pass a note to him in class if you want.

mister_universe

I can pass a note to him in class if you want.

His brilliance makes him more attractive to me. Turns him from a 93 into a 412.

But don't worry, he already knows. He's pretty sharp.

bheathfit

Is he hot

Now that is some ironic Shiznit right there! Hahahahaha!!!!:laugh:

AlongCame_Molly

Not related to weight, but I had a "friend" in high school, who was always very vocal about how he hated my short hair. (Like I gaf what he thought.) A few years after graduation, we hung out and caught a movie as old friends. Afterwards, he told me "Ya know, I thought you were totally butch and d*keish in high school but now that you grew your hair out, you got hot, and we can totally date, now!" And then he tried to grope my boob. :noway:

Oh, be still my beating heart! A real charmer, there.

FlaxMilk

As usual, Mister_Universe and Derp are smart. I really do understand what you guys are trying to say. I think where I'm having the disconnect is this:

If they were just now saying ONLY, "Wow, you're beautiful!" I'd get it...It's the truth...I'm more physically attractive now than I was 2 years ago.

But the fact that they're acting like they're just now realizing how cool, fun, whatever, I am...THAT to me equals EITHER they don't mean it and they're simply attracted to the outside package or they weren't really paying attention to who I really am on the inside based on what I looked like...which isn't something anyone wants to think about someone they've known for a long time.

I don't think it's an either or situation. They may not have told you those things before because they weren't trying to butter you up or even didn't want you to think they were flirting when they weren't interested. Now that there is interest, they aren't so opposed to you seeing it as flirtation or are more invested in complimenting you. They probably always thought you were cool, but the sexual attraction has increased their investment.

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

Even if someone likes you for your personality, most still need or at least want to be sexually attracted to their partner.

He didn't find you sexually attractive then.
He finds you sexually attractive now.


Now that he is interested, you can ask yourself if he has the personality and sexual attractiveness that YOU are looking for.

This for me as well.

I have had friends that have gotten more offended about this happening to me than I have. They think that it's just appalling and how dare he like me now and not then. Me, I get it. I probably would have argued it until I was blue in the face before I lost weight about how "unfair" it was that the guy didn't like me because of my weight, but now I totally get it. We all have preferences and there are certain guys I won't date because of certain reasons. It's my prerogative ultimately, just like it's his.

salembambi

hahaha I feel you OP

everyone is in love with me now ...and I am just like "back off my biscuit you are not weird enough for me"

ashleyblossom1

I think people are missing her point. I get that most people only give a crap about you if they are attractive to you. Its life. She gets that too. Its only disheartening when its someone you've known for ever that's just now noticing you. Most of you are arguing that maybe he liked her personality stayed away because she wasn't hot. Then why would she want him if she knows that's the kind of person he is.

I'm grateful to have found someone who loves me for me. He loves me at my worst and at my best. And that's what she deserves.

@salembambi "Back up off my biscuit" is hilarious. I'll have to borrow that one day.

PghPensFan69

Congrats on the weight loss

_JPunky

I think people are missing her point. I get that most people only give a crap about you if they are attractive to you. Its life. She gets that too. Its only disheartening when its someone you've known for ever that's just now noticing you. Most of you are arguing that maybe he liked her personality stayed away because she wasn't hot. Then why would she want him if she knows that's the kind of person he is.

Thank you! :flowerforyou:

Docmahi

So, my sister and I were having a conversation the other day...

I was joking with her about how my brother's childhood best friend has been coming on to me lately via FB. He's suddenly telling me how beautiful I am...how amazing I am...yadda yadda yadda...

My sister was OUTRAGED for me. "NOW he likes you?? He's known you since you were 10 years old and NOW he likes you??? You're the same exact person that you've always been, but suddenly NOW that you've lost weight he likes you NOW?!"

I understood exactly what she was saying. Honestly, I've seen this a disturbing amount since I've lost all my weight.

Getting hit on by people you've never met = Nice compliment.

Getting hit on by people who've always known you but never seemed interested before = "Oh yeah, you must REALLY like me for who I am on the inside. (Rhymes with) Sucker."

I understood her outrage because it hit me the same way months ago when it first started happening. Now, it's a little annoying, but I get a little amusement out of shooting those guys down.

Has anyone else run into this? Do you feel the same way?

yeah ive been hit on by people who I knew in college who never talked to me then - but i was obese and a college student and now I'm not obese and have a degree so i dunno which was the better addition

that being said I am not the same person I was and I know I interact with people much much better now - so not sure which of all the factors helped the most

sentaruu

maybe he didn't want to violate bro code by dating his best friends sister?

Blue801

Some houses on the market are move-in ready, and some need work.

When I see significant excess fat I see issues that need work.

Plus, honestly, obese is not attractive.

PghPensFan69

Some houses on the market are move-in ready, and some need work.

When I see significant excess fat I see issues that need work.

Plus, honestly, obese is not attractive.

Ugh. This is not going to how over well

Youretheoneformefatty100

Well, at least he waited and didn't try hitting on you when you were 10 years old...

Haaaaaa I thought the same thing hahahahah