Spousal jelousy

SEJ721
SEJ721 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband and I are on this weight loss journey together. I have More weight to lose than him, Me 125lbs and him 100lbs. He has been doing great and has lost 31lbs since the beginning of January! I have also been doing well with sticking with my diet but have lost 15lbs. I know that people have different metabolism and some lose faster than others. I know any weight loss is a good thing, but I can't seem to not feel like crap every time he steps on the scale, to the point where sometimes he doesn't want to tell me how much he has lost, he is only 25lbs away from my current weight and if he keeps going in about 2 months he will catch up! I know I shouldn't be jealous of him, I am very proud of him, I don't want him to feel bad for losing weight faster than me and I don't want it to make me feel bad but I can't help it! Anyone else have this issue? : (

Replies

  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    Generally men do lose weight more quickly than woman due to the difference in lean body mass vs fat. Time to stop comparing yourself to him.

    I would suggest for a while stop weighing in front of each other and maybe even stop discussing actual weight loss for a while, also develop some non scale measures of success. Improved cholesterol or blood pressure levels, number of centimetres or inches loss, reduction in clothing sizes, improved fitness levels etc.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Men lose quicker than women. Fact of life. Maybe take a closer look at your jealousy and needing to be successful over others? It can be debilitating and horrible, especially comparing yourself to others since you will never win.
  • christa279
    christa279 Posts: 222 Member
    At one point I weighted more than my husband, and I can admit that I would get jealous when he would talk about losing weight or have to put another notch in his belt because his waist got smaller. For me, it was more about feeling like I shouldn't weigh more than him.

    I ended up realizing that the reason why he was losing faster than me was because (A) he made certain changes way before I was ready (like giving up soda) and (B) he was being more active than I was. The thing is that his initial loss was happening quicker than mine, but now mine has surpassed his. I also started measuring because even some weeks when I'm not losing lbs, I am losing inches!
  • yogioats
    yogioats Posts: 33 Member
    Is it possible he also has more weight to lose? It's true that men and women's bodies are different. Try to focus on your own progress. It's great that the two of you are committed to bring healthier. That means more years together hopefully. When you're feeling down, think about that!
  • jd1208
    jd1208 Posts: 81 Member
    My bf lost weight a lot faster than me despite not trying nearly so hard. It was annoying to say the least. Give yourself a couple of mins to grumble and then move on. Nothing wrong with a bit of a grumble.
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
    You're married to him, so the two become one. Why feel bad for yourself when your other half is doing marvelously? Just be happy for BOTH of you that he has lost weight so well.
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    Congrats to you for the weight and success that you have lost. Separate congrats to your hubby.

    I try to concentrate on my journey and doing the next right step to achieve my goals. In my experiences, sometimes slow methodical success breeds longer lasting habits. Its not really weight loss I was looking for but a way to live life for a long time eating healthy, being active, etc.

    Slow and steady sometimes wins the race ... in this "game" ... there can be two winners even if they arrive at different times ....dont sweat it if you are moving in the right direction

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