Do you get support from your family?

bjm223

Hey. This is annoying me a bit to be honest. I am not asking for much, just less food during dinner/ family meals and a smaller plate but I don't get it! My mum doesn't like cooking separate meals so a lot of the time I have to have pizza or something unhealthier and I only have 1 piece and I am left feeling hungry! My sister thinks it is stupid and pointless and hates it when I tell her that I want to be healthy! My dad let's me have a small plate when my mum isn't hear and will buy we healthy, non fat foods and said he will go running with me next week! Do your family support you? If they didn't at first, what did you do to persuade them? Also if they don't please don't give up! I believe in you!

SugaryLynx

The smaller plate thing I can get. Pizza in moderation is still okay. You shouldn't be telling your sister anything about her own eating habits, that's rude. If you want to be respected, practice respect. You don't have to cut anything out to lose weight you have to portion. Learning moderation and aim for nutrient dense foods but nothing has to be eliminated completely unless you want to. I'm an adult, so my decisions are my own. Focus on you.

rubyted

That must be really annoying as all you're doing is trying to improve your health.

You are an adult. Yes, if you live with your family you need to play by their rules, but there are ways around it. If your family are having pizza and you don't want any then you could get some ingredients and cook your own meal…or if you do want the pizza then take it into account when thinking about the rest of your days calories. You can easily have 2-3 slices and a nice salad on the side. As for them making comments, try to ignore it. You know that you're doing it for your own health and so long as you're doing it in the correct way then they have no reason to complain about how you are treating your body.

Luckily it's just me, my husband and our two boys and whilst I bore my husband to death talking about MFP he's proud of me for sticking to it and making the change…..he's also pleased that it's had an effect on how he feels as I'm keeping an eye on portion sizes far better than I was.

WBB55

Can you buy your own food and make your own dinner? I started doing that at about 15.

Deona01

I know how you feel, but I'm kind of on the opposite side. I have to fix my meals seperate as I am the only person dieting right now even though my spouse could drop a few pounds himself (I would not tell him that though as he is the love of my life even after 27 yrs). Have you tried using the calorie chart here on the site? Once I found it I was like "OMG! I needed this"! I was trying to google each food item to get calorie count as my weight loss goal calls for a 1,200 calorie intake and when I typed in my meal it done all the work for me. I am so glad that I figured out how it worked. After each meal I know how many calories I can partake in until next meal or end of the day. Maybe this will help you in your journey. Maybe you can place smaller helpings on your plate your mother gives you. That way she will be happy that you are eating and you can keep up with your calorie intake and if you happen to go over the exercise chart will let you know how many you can burn per exercise Hang in there!!! Stay positive!!! I'm cheering for you to make this work for you because you seem so determined and weight loss takes determination!

bjm223

Thank you!

rgb93

I don't live with my family, but I get mixed support by proxy. My parents are both overweight (my dad I think has reached obese, from what I've heard) are recently got themselves gym memberships. They don't go to the gym, though. They make excuses for why they don't go and it's usually because they are tired after work and don't want to leave the couch. In turn, they whine about how they've gained weight so I suggested eating less/smaller portions. They then get upset with me and say that eating less works for me only because I'm 20. It feels like a reversal of when I was a kid; I know they aren't happy with their weight, but I want to give up on them because they refuse to change.

The next time I'll be seeing them is Easter. It will also be with the entire extended family who haven't seen me since June when I was 245lbs (I'm 188 now). It's going to be a shock. I'll also have to deal with my uncle commenting positively on my weight loss purposely in front of my cousin who has always been overweight in comparison to her thin EMT/rugby-playing older sister. It's uncomfortable dealing with that ****.

FreshKrisKreash

Nope. My family (especially my 300 pound brother) are all junk food addicts. They don't wanna change so I have to say no to so much amazing food every day. Luckily, I get to go grocery shopping with my mother and can buy all the healthy foods I want. I also prepare my own meals and don't eat what they eat. My mom on the other hand weighs maybe 20 pounds more than me. Is at a healthy weight but starves herself every day thinking she'll lose weight but she'll say i'm too thin when i'm not and she say I exercise too much which I don't. kinda not fair for her to try to derail me when she's borderline anorexic herself. Sadly weight loss is usually a lonely thing. Yay for you having a supportive dad though. That's awesome. :happy: Good luck.

lsorci919

My husband supports my decisions but he isn't trying to lose weight, so he doesn't workout with me or eat the same foods as I do. I often end up making a different meal for him then I would myself. I recommend that if you don't want to eat what the rest of your family is eating, make your own food. People wont always understand your journey and that's OK, it's not theirs to understand. I actually didn't tell anyone I was starting to lose weight until people started noticing and asking. Most people who tell you it's "stupid", change their tune when they see you getting results.

lizziebeth1028

Just watch your portions, eat in moderation and log everything. It's hard when you're still living at home and the family is not on board with you! If you can afford to buy your own food, I would do that....if not, enjoy the free meals in moderation!!...it won't always be that way:flowerforyou:

PS - big thumbs up on Doctor Who, Sherlock and Merlin....my faves too!

seltzermint555

I am an adult and live with my husband and yes he is very supportive. We support each other in living healthy and eating well.

As for extended family, they're supportive too. My dad and stepmom have changed their own eating habits for health reasons so they're very understanding. My mom is a work in progress and doesn't tend to choose the healthiest stuff (eats a lot of very high sodium and processed foods) so we don't eat together a whole lot but she's encouraging nonetheless. My husband and I try to help her make better choices, at HER request not forcing it on her...but old habits die hard and she is in denial about some stuff being bad for her.

ETA: I really do not want to be rude here but if you're on MFP I assume you are 18+...is it possible for you to buy some or all of your own healthy food to eat at home? I know you might have studies or disabilities or whatever else limiting your choices but maybe it would really help (if possible).

starvinkevin

Family and friends will hold you back as soon as you start threatening their feelings of superiority over you.

PRMinx

Sounds like a great time to start learning how to cook!

I don't blame your Mom for not wanting to make separate meals - that's more work for her. You are old enough to be responsible for yourself. I imagine that you don't have pizza every single day (although if it fits into your macros that would still be fine). What else is she making? Foods don't have to be low calorie or low fat to be healthy....it's all about portions. And why does your Mom care what size plate you eat off of?

seltzermint555

And why does your Mom care what size plate you eat off of?

lol...spoken like someone who is lucky to have never had a super control freak parent.

I say that in good fun because I'm actually glad for you. To this day my mom cares about shizz like that...which is why I have not lived with her since my teens.

mamahannick

Definitely start buying/cooking your own food. If you are 18 you should be able to do that no problem. I assume you will move out at some point, so it would be good practice for when that time comes.

My husband does not necessarily support me eating healthy the way I do (because he keeps pushing me to gain weight when I don't need to), but that doesn't stop me from making my meals healthy. Yes, sometimes I make things slightly different for myself than I do for him. You can't let other people hold you back from achieving your health goals.

dietcoke281

My family are quite happy with my eating choices. If my mum makes something I don't like or is too unhealthy, I make my own meal.

PRMinx

And why does your Mom care what size plate you eat off of?

lol...spoken like someone who is lucky to have never had a super control freak parent.

I say that in good fun because I'm actually glad for you. To this day my mom cares about shizz like that...which is why I have not lived with her since my teens.

LOL. I never knew it was a thing! Granted, I haven't lived with my parents since I was 14. Boarding school.

ladycadaverous

I remember telling my mom I lost 12 lbs and her response was "are you sure". She has always been on me about my weight. My family are a bunch of skinny minnys and my bf is on the tall slim side. No worries though. Keep your head up and remember that we are here for you in whatever you may need. If its support or just someone to listen to you:)

dopeysmelly

I've never had "support" from family (unless you count constant nagging for the last 25 years, or the "celebrations" when I did lose weight which implied somehow my life was perfect/I'd become a better person when I dropped 10lbs..). My husband and I don't discuss it, because he knows it might feel like the nagging from my own family and the d-word is absolutely banned from our household since I have an 8 year-old daughter and refuse to allow her to experience what I did. For me, it's all about health and things I can measure for health, so BMI, exercise per week etc. with no emotions attached.

Maybe instead of focusing on the things which provoke conflict with your Mom/sis or need their cooperation, focus on the things which don't need any help from anyone else? Your Dad offering to run with you is unbelievably cool, but why wait? You can always burn some calories by yourself, just going for a walk or jog yourself, running up and down the stairs, or whatever, and you don't need anyone else's help to do it. Or maybe instead of focusing on the meals which feel unhealthy to you, start counting the pieces of fruit or grams of fiber instead.

Getting healthy has a lot to do with feeling good about yourself, and that means focusing on the positive and the things you can and will change for yourself.

Go for it!!

lemonsnowdrop

Not really. A lot of my family is overweight, and while my mom does exercise, she has this crazy idea that "you can eat whatever/however much you want as long as you workout," which you know is not true. So when I visit her, she always pushes me to eat cakes she made or a large dinner.

My sister is much larger than me, and I can't mention my healthy eating/exercising around her, for fear of offending her or getting yelled at. She always says, "You're skinny, I'M fat!" and while she is bigger than me, it doesn't mean I'm the ideal physique.

rockmama72

Yes, like some others said--do some cooking! It's fun, it will help out your mom, it will be good for the whole family, and it's a good thing to learn for when you're out on your own. Maybe each night you could contribute a vegetable or salad? Or offer to cook a meal or two each week? Then you can enjoy the other stuff your mom cooks in moderation.

When you live with people, you've got to find the happy balance. It's not always easy on them to live with someone who is on a weight loss mission. I know I can get to be a little "preachy" with my kids sometimes, and I have to check myself. :-)

bjm223

Is it weird that I am excited for you haha? I would love for my family to see me when I am 50lbs down! I can't wait! Congratulations!

bjm223

Thank you very much! x

bjm223

Thanks!

bachampion04

Most defnintely! My family are my number 1 cheerleaders and accountability partners

Booksandbeaches

I get a lot of support from my husband. He's my biggest cheerleader.

My mom and dad eat very healthily. They exercise every day. They know I exercise a lot, so I think they're happy about it, but we don't really talk about it. I prefer it that way. I'd rather talk about other stuff with them.

It's nice to have support from others but ultimately this is very much a solo journey. With or without support, we have to be able to make it on our own and be comfortable in our skin.

jbee27

It's nice to have support from others but ultimately this is very much a solo journey. With or without support, we have to be able to make it on our own and be comfortable in our skin.

Nailed it. I see a lot of posts on MFP with similar messages to the OP, that someone is feeling sabotaged, or not supported by their parents, spouse, partner, coworkers, etc, etc.

Personally, I've intentionally done this alone. I'm the one that caused me to be overweight and out of shape, I'm the only person that has to live in this body every day, and so I'm the one that owns my decisions and actions.

It’s been incredibly empowering and a huge self-esteem boost to know that I’ve accomplished something where my success is 100% attributable to my own efforts, and to be accountable to myself when I don’t succeed.