"You shouldn't lose more weight"

misshpn

Hi guys.
One question for y'all - have any of you tried to have people tell you that you shouldn't lose more weight or that you should stop losing weight, because it'll look ugly and sickening compared to how big you once were??

I've lost a total of 40 kg now, and I weight 73 kg and I'm 165 cm. I feel like I still have about 10 kg to go, as my thighs, stomach and butt are still huge…. The thing is, that I've lost a LOT of weight on my upper body, and since my face has shrunken in a lot, and my collarbones are really showing, i've had a lot of people tell me that i look "normal" now and that I will look sick if i continue. I don't feel like I'm done. I feel really overweight still, and I'm not happy with my looks, but I'm really afraid that it's just my self-criticism that's clouding my judgement. I have a hard time believing people, when they tell me that I look "normal", when I know that I don't yet.

I'm always told that I look really good compared to how big I once was, and it's just… that's not what I want to be remembered for. I don't just want to look good compared to the old me. I want to look good and healthy and slim, without the last comment. I hope somebody understands what I'm going through, and can help me manage and maybe give me a honest opinion. Y'all don't know me and don't know how I used to look(i won't post a before picture, so it won't cloud your judgement), so please tell me - do i look sick? do i look normal? could i lose more kilos without looking too bad?











- Thank you

EDIT: I workout 3-4 times a week, a mix of lifting and cardio! my fat mass is 24 kg, and my muscle mass is 47,8 kg.

Charliejl82

You look fab, and focus on how much healthier you are now! What exercise do you do? If you start doing some resistance/strength training you will retain/build some muscle and so will avoid the "thin" look and get an overall better body shape.

SezxyStef

you look great...if I were you I would make a smaller deficet...say 200 a day and start lifting weights.

Based on your post and your pics you are at a decent weight and your desire for "smaller" butt, thighs etc would come with fat loss and maintaining muscle...

I have to think that the weight loss was from a calorie deficet and cardio...which means you have lost muscle too...maintaining what you have for muscle while losing fat is key to liking what you see in the mirror...

as well...it can take some time to realize how good you look after losing a lot of weight...

misshpn

You look fab, and focus on how much healthier you are now! What exercise do you do? If you start doing some resistance/strength training you will retain/build some muscle and so will avoid the "thin" look and get an overall better body shape.

Thank you so much!! That's what I've been trying to do the last year. I've really tried to tighten up, and prevent a tummy tuck, but that's just not possible. I work out 3-4 times a week, 2 hours pr. workout. I do a lot of zumba but also a LOT of body pump and cxworx. Sometimes I do body attack and spinning too, but mostly pump and zumba.

mschicagocubs

You look great! I don't think you will look sickly if you lose a few more lbs though. But it is important to think of where you came from and appreciate your body now. Love it cuz you look fabulous!

But like I said ... I dont think another few lbs will cause you to look unhealthy.

misshpn

you look great...if I were you I would make a smaller deficet...say 200 a day and start lifting weights.

Based on your post and your pics you are at a decent weight and your desire for "smaller" butt, thighs etc would come with fat loss and maintaining muscle...

I have to think that the weight loss was from a calorie deficet and cardio...which means you have lost muscle too...maintaining what you have for muscle while losing fat is key to liking what you see in the mirror...

as well...it can take some time to realize how good you look after losing a lot of weight...

I do have a "lot" of muscle mass, since I've been lifting weight for quite a while now. My muscle mass is 48 kg, while my fat mass is 24 kg.

AmyRhubarb

My response to that is always that I'm not trying to lose any more weight, just working on lowering body fat percentage. Usually they don't know how to respond to that and it shuts 'em up.

Cathalain

You look great, in my opinion, but if you're not happy with it, continue your journey until you ARE. That's what matters most - not what anyone else wants, but what YOU want, right?

If there's one thing I've learned over the last 2 years in my own journey, it's that.... it's all about ME, you know?

If you want to keep going, rock on with your bad self.

emilyisbonkers

You dont look too thin at all and you can lose a lot more weight before you will look "sick"
I personally think you have very nice collarbones, and this may be what people see when they make these comments

SezxyStef

you look great...if I were you I would make a smaller deficet...say 200 a day and start lifting weights.

Based on your post and your pics you are at a decent weight and your desire for "smaller" butt, thighs etc would come with fat loss and maintaining muscle...

I have to think that the weight loss was from a calorie deficet and cardio...which means you have lost muscle too...maintaining what you have for muscle while losing fat is key to liking what you see in the mirror...

as well...it can take some time to realize how good you look after losing a lot of weight...

I do have a "lot" of muscle mass, since I've been lifting weight for quite a while now. My muscle mass is 48 kg, while my fat mass is 24 kg.

That's great...so you and I weigh about the same...158lbs for you with appx 32% BF (based on your 24kg of fatmass)...work on that number...my goal is 20-23% which puts me in my happy spot...not to defined but not jiggly.

I would continue with a small deficet then and the weights...it will come just slowly and don't listen to anyone who says you don't need to lose any more weight...it takes a long time for people around you to get used to the new you...probably as much time as it will take you to get used to it...I get it trust me...as we seem to be in a similar spot...I just keep at it and when I am happy when I look in the mirror (not step on a scale) I am done then...

carolsteele45

Like others here, I think you look fab (fabulous - not fat lol). The change you have made is inspirational. If you decide to lose a bit more I don't think it would make you look ugly or too skinny in any way.
Are the friends who are telling you this now more plump than you?? If they are, it could be jealousy of your figure now and your success at shedding all those pounds.

curvy_b3lle

I think you look wonderful! Congrats on your weight loss so far! :flowerforyou: I am agreeing with the others on working on
toning & strength exercises. You have to find yourself beautiful and love you!

clarinetmajor

I think you look amazing just the way you are. It is obvious you are a pear, and that your legs, hips and *kitten* are naturally going to be a problem area for you. But, with that said I'm an apple and I wish I were a pear!!! I think girls with itty bitty waists and nice hips and *kitten* look awesome! But alas I am an apple. So, the lesson in this is that we have to learn to love our shapes and ourselves. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with your beautiful body just the way it is. So, with that said I would say that the people who are telling you to stop loosing weight probably love you and really care about your health. And that is really what this is about anyway, right? So my advice is to take their advice to heart and work on loving yourself and your body more the way it is, ignore the scale and keep lifting weights and keep working on toning. Add some Pilates to work on lifting your *kitten* and flattening your stomach. And ask yourself - is there really anything wrong with your figure or is it perhaps an issue of perspective? Work on loving you and loving your body more. You are beautiful!

minimalistmom

First, you look amazing. Secondly, I have been in your shoes. To me I didn't look sick, I also thought I was overweight, because all I saw was posed pictures of myself and my hips would make me look larger than what I really was. Then my husband took a picture of me playing with my kids and I physically saw how skinny I was. I could see why everyone was calling me a "skinny minnie" and why they thought I looked sick. I was physically melting away.

The reality check for me was when I went to the hospital for cellutitis and they had to start an IV drip. I was so skinny, the nurse only started out on me one bag of antibiotics based on my appearance, then the hospital pharmacist's came down to my room and he looked at me and said, "Is the weight you wrote down your correct weight?" and I said, "yes!" Which was 170 lbs.. He smiled, said "I'll be right back," and went and got another bag of antibiotics, because what they were giving me wasn't enough based on my weight.

So, don't pay attention to the number, go by you look. I, personally, won't lose anymore, but each person is different. Best of luck to you!

100poundproject

pump that iron girl. The heavier the weights, the better the definition and you will lose inches!! Even if you don't lose another single pound, your body will change for the better.

David_AUS

You look absolutely fantastic! Would you look fantastic still if you lost a few more KG - absolutely (Note: If you gain muscle mass then KG may not come off as much - so I recommend taking measurements as well if you want to measure your progress). As long as you do this in a healthy way with feeding your body with the nutrients it needs to keep you vitality and strength then go for it! People get stuck in familiarity, they really don't like change and can try to impose their values onto you. They want those around them to "rise to mediocrity". Their priority of values in life as not the same as yours - live towards what you truly believe and stay happy and healthy.

Roaringgael

I can relate to what you're saying about what people are commenting.
I think what someone mentioned earlier about eating well and keeping up the training will get you to your goal.
Years ago when I lost weight I noticed that my own view of body size changed as I got slimmer.
MY personal way of looking at that is that people view others through there own body size ie mentally they adjust what they see to an expectation of where they are and we do it too to others.
Friends and acquaintances start saying these 'oh your thin enough etc' through their own body size expectations which you have turned on "its ear" (upset).
In return I think we start viewing peoples body sizes differently too.
I'll illustrate. I have a dear friend who is very obese. Since I've lost some weight I actually started thinking she must have put a lot on.
My husband disagreed and said she has remained the same. My mental image of her body size changed. I hope you understand what I mean.

luckydays27

You are beautiful as you are but yes, you can afford to lose more before you start getting the sick thin look. We are the same height and I am 149 lbs now and dont look sick at all. My profile pic was taken when I was 160 lbs.

I agree to get more time in the weight room and get some definition in those muscles.

dshalbert

First all of, you are gorgeous, and two, it’s your body and you know how you want it to look. I was afraid I was going to see some emaciate girl, but you look really healthy. Toning and strength training is always a great way to shape the body. If you don’t get thinner, you will get stronger and that’s always a good look. Maybe some of the people saying that are just threatened by your progress, or maybe you’ re obsessing about it and they want you to chill.

paperpudding

You look great, in my opinion, but if you're not happy with it, continue your journey until you ARE. That's what matters most - not what anyone else wants, but what YOU want, right?

Well, yes and no - if people just go by what they want, it is so subjective - there are people who want to lose more weight than is healthy and who dont recognize this.


However, back to OP - I was about your weight and height too OP - 73 kg - and that is not in the healthy range for our height.
I think the healthy range was 50 - 65 kg.
My aim was to get to 62 kg, which I have.

I think another 10kg would get you to a perfect weight - you are not far off now but I agree with you, another 10 kg is a healthy aim.

jpads1234

I think you look great. You just need to find the place where you feel the most comfortable and healthy. You're doing such a great job and your success is a inspiration to us all ! well done

Polarpaly05

I hope somebody understands what I'm going through, and can help me manage and maybe give me a honest opinion.

There is a lot of hand holding and "you are beautiful" in this thread. The OP asked a simple question... does she look sick or could she stand to lose more?

You would have to lose another 15-20 kilos before you started to look "sick". An honest opinion, and I'm going to such bad feedback for this, you could lose another 5-7 kilos. You're currently running a BF% of 33.3%. Which is just outside the upper boundary of "normal". (28-33 = normal).

If you look at it from another perspective, if you asked any health insurer if you were overweight... they would say yes with a BMI of 26.9 (which is what you are per your given info).

KANGOOJUMPS

your a babe
do what you want
do not listen to others.

loubidy

I think you just have prominent collar bones, from your post I expected to see ribs in your chest but not at all. Are you doing much strength training?

moveyourself

simple answer:
DO WHAT YOU WANT AND **** EVERYONE ELSE.

It's not their body- it's yours! If you want to lose more weight and get to a point where you feel truly happy and good about yourself, than do it!!

I will give my honest opinion and say that I think your friends are seriously jealous. I think they are intimidating seeing you lose weight, because they know you are looking good, and if you lose more weight, you'll be supermodel hot! Unfortunately, some people are envious like that.

and just to reassure you, you WILL NOT look sickly if you drop more weight- you could lose another 30 pounds, and just be thin- and thin is okay. I know society wants us to believe being thin is superficial and gross, but it's not. Everyone's entitled to look however they want to look!

Zero_excuses

I would say that your BMI could be a good indicator - I think the healthy range is around 20-25.

I'd like to congratulate you on all your hard work and you look great! But if you wanted to lose a few more pounds I don't think that it would harm you.

If you were concerned you could always check with your GP/Doctor? They could check that you are on the right track.

Keep up the good work

concordancia

You do look great!

Sometimes people don't know what to say to people who have lost a lot of weight, so they think this is a great compliment. As long as your goals are healthy, just log their comments as "awkward" and move on.

If someone you trust brings it up as a health concern, just agree to go for a check up and specifically discuss your weight with your doctor.

fairygirlpie9

I have a similar body shape to you (feel free to check my pics). I would say that you look great as you are but you could lose another 10kg if you wish to but not much more than that.

P.S. I want your collarbones!

krawhitham

You look fantastic, but if I were you, I'd definitely lose more weight. I am 5'3.5" and my goal is 125. What is your height? As long as you're not below 18 BMI you're totally fine.

Really, you need to stop when YOU feel you're ready. Don't necessarily listen to what others say.

Joebob8

First of all, you are gorgeous. The idea of you looking even an ounce better is likely very threatening to your friends. Second of all, do what you need to get to where you want to be, and not anyone else.

JG762

Well to start with I think that you're absolutely beautiful.
As to the question to whether you should lose more weight, what's your hurry?
Don't put yourself into that never ending cycle of never being quite good enough, go slowly and love yourself, once you've got that covered then decide.